The Third Charm: My Take on the Finale

Shoutout to Oli. 

Disclosure: I didn’t want to add 10 more hours of drama to my stressful life so I read the recaps and reviews from dramabeans, dramamilk and mydramalist. Although this kdrama is definitely not my cup of tea, it’s the kind of story that my bookclub ladies would love to force on me to peruse and discuss: angsty, developmental and redemptive.

The symbolism I told you earlier about the trophy and the stuffed toy is the overarching theme of the story.

read it here: https://bitchesoverdramas.com/2018/10/21/the-third-charm-the-metaphor/

The endgoal of JoonYoung (J) was to have a meaningful and self-fulfilled life of his own. That was what the trophy represented. A trophy is a prize for achieving honor and distinction.

For more than half of the show, J’s notion of self-fulfillment was linked to his love, YoungJae (YJ). However, his kind of love was a burden to her because she didn’t want that “thick” love. She wasn’t ready for a till-death-do-us-part kind of love. She didn’t want to be his end-all-and-be-all. She didn’t want to the sun-moon-and-the-stars for him. She only wanted a fluffy, comfy and light romance.

This was apparent to me in Episode 9 on their trip to the island. Remember the selfie they took in the field?

😀

Yes, that’s right. That was a trick question. There was no SELFIE in that field.

They didn’t take a picture together; he only took a picture of her. I thought that odd because young couples in love are constantly taking snapshots together to remember a moment. Yet SHE didn’t ask for a souvenir of themselves and she told him flippantly that her picture was her gift to him.

lol. Who knows exactly what he saw in the viewfinder that made him pause. I can only guess this: He didn’t see the look of love on her face. She posed for him as she would have for a photoshoot for a magazine. Her eyes didn’t have IT.

The following conversation should have set off warning bells too.

J: I’d like to live in this kind of place. Somewhere quiet with fresh air.
YJ: It’s good only when you come here once in a while. It’ll be so boring once you move in here.
J: Gosh. Then will you not live here even if I tell you to? I can be the chief of a small police station and fix radios from time to time like this. And you can run a small hair salon and cut the elders’ hair like today.
YJ: I want to work hard and lead a busy life in a flashy and complex city.

Funny how, in the end, his wish came true in a reverse way. She settled for a small-town hair salon to cut the elders’ hair but he went off to the big flashy city, New York City.

J: Do you love work that much?
YJ: Yes, I love myself working. It’ll be the same from now on as well.
J: Okay, I don’t care. We can live in a city and visit a place like this sometimes. I’m good as long as I’m with you.

He was grinning, pleased with HIS compromise as he said that. But she, on the other hand, wasn’t even smiling. That look she gave him was revealing. She didn’t like the idea.

As I said in my other post, JoonYoung treated her like some precious trophy. He revolved his life around her. The ups-and-downs of their relationship had a big impact not only on his confidence and mood of the day, but also his friendship with the guys and his work performance.

In as much as HE was the living stuffed toy and source of YoungJae’s solace and comfort, SHE was the source of JoonYoung insecurity and self-doubt.

To me, the “third charm” here referred to the aftermath of a rejection.

The first time she rejected him, he was devastated. The resentment festered in him all those years and he couldn’t forget their one-day dating. He told her that she was the reason that, instead of pursuing his engineering degree, he took the job as a police detective.

The second time she rejected him, he went away to find himself. He decided to stop living the life around her (by living in another country and with a new girl). And he searched for his own path.

He never had a goal or ambition before. As we heard him say, he was quite content to be anywhere as long as he was with her. But as he drove away from her salon that night, he finally gave himself a purpose.

He said: Along with my fierce and brilliant love, my 27th summer ended like that. It pained me because I didn’t know any better and I felt bad because I wasn’t good enough for her. The grateful, exciting, and loving moments (ended like that). I hope to become a tree that can withstand even the coldest gust of wind. On cold winter days, I hope to become the sunlight. On hot summer days, I hope to become the shade.

He had been watching her attend to her client and he smiled at seeing her obvious pleasure being with her client.

He didn’t hear their conversation but if he did, their words would have fired him up, too. The client was encouraging YJ never to give up her career because she had talent, and YJ replied that no, she had ambition.

Like YJ, he needed to follow his dreams and fulfill his own potential.

The reason he felt lacking and not good enough for her was because he had no purpose in life. He looked up to her and low-key envied her because she had ambition whereas he had none. Sure, he was getting award but that wasn’t even HIS ambition to be in the police service; that was YJ’s recommendation.

He had to find his own trophy to claim as his own. He had to become tried and tested, like a wind-resistant tree. And his plan was to become a chef. That was how he was going to make a name for himself in the world.

The third time she rejected him WAS the charm. He was able to survive the rejection because he was no longer emotionally dependent on her. Of course, he felt her pain and was worried about her suicide, but he could accept her rejection like that tree who could withstand the strongest gusts of wind.

That was the point of their encounter in the island. They could walk together.

Here’s the sub from dramamilk. (Thanks, dramamilk!) 

J: In a few hours, this year is over.
YJ: Yeah.
J: You remember when I took a picture of you here?
YJ: Yes, I remember. Nothing changes here, outside changes but no time passes in this place.
J: (coughs)

lol. YJ didn’t remember at all. The “highlight” of that walk back then was his offer to follow her wherever she lived even if that meant staying in the city which wasn’t his preference.

YJ: Are you cold with that much clothing on?
J: Yes, I’m a little cold. Maybe it’s because we’re at an island.
YJ: Winters are supposed to be cold. (removing gloves and offering them to him) Here.
J: It’s okay.
YJ: It’s fine. You should wear them.

He smiled at her and wore the gloves. At this point, we should have realized that he was over her. She was offering him the gloves as a friend and he accepted it as a friend. If wanted to flirt with each other, she could have offered to hold hands with him or he could have given one glove to her and put the other ungloved hand in his pocket.

That’s the glove trope in kdramas. 🙂

Y: We have known each other for 12 years, but I did not know that you got cold in winter.
J: We never spent winter together.
Y: I didn’t know everything, but I thought that we were different, not a good match.
J: Yeah, we did not know each other fully.

Snowflakes started to drift down.

J: It is strange, Not everything goes the way I want, just because I want it to come true.
Y: The future is the most important. That’s why we have to try.

His statement here was an acceptance of their new reality. This trip back to literally their memory lane was an acknowledgement that it was over. He had wished for her – to be with her – more than a couple of times but but none of them came true.

The first time he wished for her, he waited in the rooftop for her after she avoided all his calls. Without bothering to explain her changed circumstances with her brother, she told him to get lost.

The second time he wished for her, he was planning to propose marriage. But before he could confess, she told him that they should break up. Their romance had ended for her and she wanted to stop.

As for the third and final time he wished for her, he didn’t say a word. He didn’t need too. It was in his eyes and the way he held on to her scarred wrist. If she had allowed him, he would have taken her back in a heartbeat. But for her it was too late. She said, “I received too much comfort from you. I don’t deserve it. I need to leave.”

There was too much water under the bridge for them. Their history weighed down on them, and they couldn’t undo or change the past. He understood because he felt the same way. That was why he hesitated before going after her.

This third time was the charm because he could walk away.

This scene in the island was their way of coming full circle. No hard feelings remained after this. This was a new stage in their relationship.

While listening to the widowed grandfather, they learned life moved on for him, too, even when he greatly missed his wife that he kept her pillow by his side under the sheet. Forcing oneself to forget a great love is much harder than living with the memories. Like the grandfather, both YJ and J would just live with the painful memories, instead of pretending they didn’t happen.

YJ looked solemn here, like she was about to cry. I thought she must have been remembering her dead daughter, her greatest love, and I think HE realized that by now. He didn’t appear like he was mourning their own dead relationship.

He looked at her and faintly smiled. To, he’d reconciled himself with this life, just like the grandpa.

Hence, he could attend the Hyung’s wedding and converse with YJ as if nothing was wrong and without longing for her anymore. Translation from dailymilk:

J: How is your new spring beauty shop? (implying that they don’t keep in regular contact)
YJ: Yeah, I was sentimental so I made the contract. I’m doing a lot of ahjummas’ hair now.
J: But you look good.
YJ: The neighborhood is boring but it is good. Nice air, and I can be a bit more relaxed. I can walk around the market and eat ddukbogi. What about you? Oppa told me you are going to New York, when?
J: Next week.
Y: Wow, you are the head sous chef of that famous restaurant? Ohn Joon-young, you are famous now!
J: I will live my life busy, like a real person living.

Their his-and-hers narration reiterated their distinct personalities.

Her narration: After time passed, we became adults, but we are still clumsy and still make a lot of mistakes. So, that is why we comfort each other and worry about each other and embrace each other.

His narration: All the pain and hard time made us grow up, with all the happiness we enjoyed together, maybe that is why we keep walking. To be our fulfilled self.

See? In her narration, her last thoughts were about comforting and embracing each other. Just like what the stuffed toy was for her in the beginning. Just like what her daughter was for her till the accident killed her.

As for him, he finally learned to grow up and seek self-fulfillment. His trophy was within him all along.

😀

Before, looking at their backs, foreshadowing their walking away from each other.

After, walking towards their respective futures.

Moral Lesson: ?? lol. I’ve mine as I’m sure you have yours.

So that’s my “quick” take on this kdrama.

Remember now, I didn’t watch the whole thing. As I said I relied mostly on recaps and comments but did some spot-checking to verify my interpretation.

Hope this helps you move on from the kdrama, Oli.

 

10 Comments On “The Third Charm: My Take on the Finale”

  1. AH, I think I get it. So you are saying this is kind of his story and whether he could walk away from her. He was able to finally walk away on their third meeting. Something like that?

    The entire third meeting made me think that he should stay away from her so the ending was good in that way. But I was watching a love story so I wanted them to end up together in the end after growing separately.

  2. Yes. 😀

    It was HIS story from the beginning and this was about him learning to grow up and walk away from a toxic relationship. Remember? She was the third kind of woman: the woman (he) should’ve never encountered again. The horrible woman. She was the catalyst for him to grow old.

    But it’s also her story, in the sense, that she had to undergo problems too in order to grow up.

    It’s a his-and-hers story but I think the general sentiment was with JoonYoung because he suffered because of HER. She suffered because of her choices (JY didn’t figure in her equation as much as she did in his.) The fortuneteller did warn her about her choices, didn’t she? 🙂

  3. Yes, we all wanted our happily ever after.

    That was HIS point when he was staring at the swirling snowflakes. That might have been the first snow of the season (although Dec is kinda late, first snow in SK is probably around November?) and they could have made a wish. But he just stared at it and said that wishes didn’t really come true just because he wished for it (fervently, earnestly).

    I thought that was sad. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride….

    But HE himself didn’t look morose or melancholic to be walking with her AND not holding hands with her. I assumed then that he had healed or at least accepted it. His grieving for what-could-have-been was almost over.

    I thought it was a melodrama, not a romcom so I shied away from it after the 5th episode. When I came back for the 13th episode, I realized she had too many baggages for him (AND the writer, lol) to unpack in the remainder 3 episodes with NO more time-outs or time-leaps left. 😂

  4. You’re right. The third charm is him being able to walk away – it seems obvious when I read you putting it like this.. I just found the whole thing depressive. From the moment her kid’s death was written into the story their chances were doomed. There’s no way the drama could go in 2 episodes from oh, her kid died, she’s living like a ghost to “and they lived happily ever after”. Not that a parent who loses a child can’t find a lost love but not in a story said hurriedly in what time was left. And with extra characters that are given lots of time.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m good with letting this drama go. It was just.. I don’t know how to put it into words, I don’t think a story should end in happiness for the main couple necessarily but to put her in all through all that loss and leave her still unable to accept him in the end felt like it was all just pointless.

    Considering the point she was in at the end when he ran to her .. I think it was normal for her to be distant “I received too much comfort from you. I don’t deserve it. I need to leave.”. Realistic for him to approach with caution – not kiss her like after the second reunion. But I think a person in her shoes, at that point, would have needed someone a bit more like him on their second time together. Someone stubborn to stay by her side and give everything. With patience and understanding.
    Maybe he tried and we didn’t see it. Maybe she was still unable to be in that relationship.

  5. Sigh. I know.

    If he didn’t leave like that resolute in making himself stronger, if he didn’t find a new life separate from hers, if he were the same besotted guy that he was 4 years ago, if he was not afraid to be rejected for the Nth time, then yes, she would have gotten a “hajima! Don’t” from JoonYoung.

    But SHE rejected him too often before, she reminded me of the boy who cried wolf. Eventually, J was going to stop going after her. She just wasn’t into him when he was into her. At least, they parted as kinda-friends — unlike after the first rejection. He was angry and resentful when they met after that pojangmacha. But what did she do then? She blew him off and trivialized his feelings. Back then It couldn’t have hurt her to explain to him that she had a lot on her plate and wasn’t ready for a relationship.

    That scene when she ran after his car after the second rejection? Lol. I wanted him to back up and run her over. Oops! 😈😂

    She just wasn’t emotionally available for him and I wanted it done.

    One of the parts I like was when he taught her to prepare her favorite food, the squid thing. I thought that was a very decent of him. He was teaching her to let go because he was almost ready emotionally mentally standing at the door then.

  6. Yes, the pacing was off. The baby’s death was too much. And then her attempted suicide.

    No. Too much, too late. Had it been around Ep 10, fine. But 13/14? No.

  7. she would have gotten a “hajima! Don’t” from JoonYoung. :)))
    That would have been so insensitive and selfish.
    What do I mean by this? Let’s bring my story to explain better (it’s gonna sound insensitive how I tell this story almost like it’s not mine, with no feeling.. but.. time erases stuff and a lot of time passed, don’t worry about me being sad, I’m not) So:
    I .. well.. my brother drowned when he was 18. Me 19 (I’m 33 now). And the dude I’ve lived my life with since (let’s call him husband) we met a month after. Then. Then, when I was in Young Jae’s shoes. Sort of. A lot milder. But I did have her guilt. We had gotten into the sea without knowing how to swim even after seeing the big waves. So anyway, like her.. I was needy but in really no mood for love. I needed comfort but relationships.. my mind was not there. I get why YJ said “leave”. Anyway, my husband, he only said he was interested once and I rejected him in seconds. But he stuck like glue. As a friend, as help, as comfort, always available, always there, we were inseparable. Never asking for anything though. No stupid hajima’s. He just waited until I was ready. He didn’t move to no New York. Sure, we didn’t have a history like the leads here, but his approach was the kind of thing that can heal the kind of loss I was going through. The kind Young Jae was going through.

    “Hajima”s and making the thing about his needs would have been the worst he could have done.

  8. Awww. Hugs, oli. Those must have been tough times for you and your family.

    I don’t know why the writer and director chose the ending to be this way. But that’s one possible ending here. JoonYoung moved to NYC to give her space, DISTANCE and time. No pressure on her. He’ll be there when she’s ready to live in a big and flashy city. Time heals all wounds…. The moral lesson for this kdrama up for interpretation.

    I think for your husband, he could stay because you didn’t have a relationship before the tragic death of your brother. He didn’t know you beforehand so he could wait for you to bloom again. He had no past history to deal with, as you said.

    But with JoonYoung, he knew that he could offer her all the TLC right now and be rejected the next day..because she had done it before more than once. You might have initially rejected your then-boyfriend/current husband but you didn’t have a history of dating him, then leaving him for another guy, then dumping on him all your emotions, then leaving him again and telling him you had to go.

    If YJ were a guy doing the same thing to a girl, we’d see right away that he was unstable (or fragile) and we’d recommend him to go to therapy to deal with all the issues.

    The other interesting thing here is that her own husband couldn’t cope with her either. (or did he try? where is he anyway?) If there was anybody who should know her better than JY and stand with her, it was him. They married and had the child together. JY was only her first love but that doctor should have been her last love.

    I find YJ exhausting to watch and to deal with. And as much as I want a HEA for my characters, I was really okay if this couple didn’t. Some relationships are like Humpty Dumpty. All the king’s men and king’s horses can’t put them together. The glue hasn’t been invented yet.

    You and your husband are those lucky ones who are able to make a relationship work in the face of tragedy.

  9. Urgh…just as well I didn’t start this one…I bailed with the initial synopsis. I didn’t think I could sit through and watch her treating him the way she did all those years and come out the other end sane and not wanting to throttle her for her self absorbed nature. 🙄 Thanks for the beautiful closing thoughts PM3. I’d much rather read them in the safety of logos and ethos than swim in the tumultuous seas of pathos whilst watching the drama…

    I couldn’t bring myself to start Fluttering Alert or Mama Fairy either. Maybe Revenge is Back with Yoo SeungHo. News has also broken recently about Yoon Shi Yoon taking on another drama with a historical bent to it and strangely enough playing the younger brother of Jo JungSuk (the older brother of DKS in My Annoying Brother) – what were the odds? 😆 Happy Thanksgiving to you and your brood.

  10. Mama Fairy: I’m dropping for now. The writer is trolling the viewers hard so I’ll just watch this when it’s done.

    Third Charm: I’m glad I was an indifferent viewer. I wish the director and writer gave the viewers heads up on the irreconcilable differences early on. Like his voiceover saying, “…and that was the beginning of the end. Looking back, I should have hijacked my heart and ran away with it before she ate it alive.”

    😂

    I’m missing LeeYul and HongShim’s romantic moments. Maybe I’ll watch Ep 15 and 16 tomorrow to relax after all Thanksgiving partying.

    Okay. Gotta go. I was resting my feet before dinner.

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