“I want to kiss a fish,” said no one ever.

So why are we getting these surprised, wide-eyed looks? 

Hey, if the love of my life is about to kiss me, and I’m going to pucker up and meet him halfway.

gif credit: jischangwook’s tumblr

 

Here is my list of kdrama things that are definitely not going on my bucket list.

1. Ride a train to Busan.

because zombies ….

2. Ride piggyback.

Tsk.tsk.tsk. So unladylike.

3. Get a perm-ah (or Korean perm).

She looks like the missing fifth Golden Girl. 

4. Marry a genius SOB like Baek SungJo in “Playful Kiss”

The second he returned the love letter she had so shyly given to him, filled with corrections, and in front of her classmates and friends, I knew he was a scumbag. He was an emotionally cold man like Nam See Hee in “Because This is My First Life.” But Nam See Hee wasn’t emotionally abusive and didn’t target her for being inferior or poor like Baek SungJo. Ugh.

This kdrama should be given warning: Lobotomy required after watching this romcom.

5. Marry a chaebol SOB like Gu Jun Pyo in “Boys Over Flowers”

I don’t get the appeal. He’s abusive, manipulative and sadistic. I predict his mugshot for domestic assault and battery. If Baek Sung Jo was emotionally constipated, then this guy is emotionally diarrhoetic. He spews shit.

“I’m sorry” x infinity.  Simply repeat, reuse and recycle.

6. Get a nosebleed.

I don’t get nosebleeds because I’m a slacker.

7. Time travel.

gif credit: justsageukthings tumblr

Thank you very much. I wouldn’t exchange my First World problems for 17th century court intrigues and bathrooms.

8. Eat cute Korean food. Like how could you eat these cutie-pies cutie-buns?!!! I’d feel like a mass murderer.

9. Have amnesia.

10. ???? I forgot.