Shoutout to Oli. 

Disclosure: I didn’t want to add 10 more hours of drama to my stressful life so I read the recaps and reviews from dramabeans, dramamilk and mydramalist. Although this kdrama is definitely not my cup of tea, it’s the kind of story that my bookclub ladies would love to force on me to peruse and discuss: angsty, developmental and redemptive.

The symbolism I told you earlier about the trophy and the stuffed toy is the overarching theme of the story.

read it here: https://bitchesoverdramas.com/2018/10/21/the-third-charm-the-metaphor/

The endgoal of JoonYoung (J) was to have a meaningful and self-fulfilled life of his own. That was what the trophy represented. A trophy is a prize for achieving honor and distinction.

For more than half of the show, J’s notion of self-fulfillment was linked to his love, YoungJae (YJ). However, his kind of love was a burden to her because she didn’t want that “thick” love. She wasn’t ready for a till-death-do-us-part kind of love. She didn’t want to be his end-all-and-be-all. She didn’t want to the sun-moon-and-the-stars for him. She only wanted a fluffy, comfy and light romance.

This was apparent to me in Episode 9 on their trip to the island. Remember the selfie they took in the field?

😀

Yes, that’s right. That was a trick question. There was no SELFIE in that field.

They didn’t take a picture together; he only took a picture of her. I thought that odd because young couples in love are constantly taking snapshots together to remember a moment. Yet SHE didn’t ask for a souvenir of themselves and she told him flippantly that her picture was her gift to him.

lol. Who knows exactly what he saw in the viewfinder that made him pause. I can only guess this: He didn’t see the look of love on her face. She posed for him as she would have for a photoshoot for a magazine. Her eyes didn’t have IT.

The following conversation should have set off warning bells too.

J: I’d like to live in this kind of place. Somewhere quiet with fresh air.
YJ: It’s good only when you come here once in a while. It’ll be so boring once you move in here.
J: Gosh. Then will you not live here even if I tell you to? I can be the chief of a small police station and fix radios from time to time like this. And you can run a small hair salon and cut the elders’ hair like today.
YJ: I want to work hard and lead a busy life in a flashy and complex city.

Funny how, in the end, his wish came true in a reverse way. She settled for a small-town hair salon to cut the elders’ hair but he went off to the big flashy city, New York City.

J: Do you love work that much?
YJ: Yes, I love myself working. It’ll be the same from now on as well.
J: Okay, I don’t care. We can live in a city and visit a place like this sometimes. I’m good as long as I’m with you.

He was grinning, pleased with HIS compromise as he said that. But she, on the other hand, wasn’t even smiling. That look she gave him was revealing. She didn’t like the idea.

As I said in my other post, JoonYoung treated her like some precious trophy. He revolved his life around her. The ups-and-downs of their relationship had a big impact not only on his confidence and mood of the day, but also his friendship with the guys and his work performance.

In as much as HE was the living stuffed toy and source of YoungJae’s solace and comfort, SHE was the source of JoonYoung insecurity and self-doubt.

To me, the “third charm” here referred to the aftermath of a rejection.

The first time she rejected him, he was devastated. The resentment festered in him all those years and he couldn’t forget their one-day dating. He told her that she was the reason that, instead of pursuing his engineering degree, he took the job as a police detective.

The second time she rejected him, he went away to find himself. He decided to stop living the life around her (by living in another country and with a new girl). And he searched for his own path.

He never had a goal or ambition before. As we heard him say, he was quite content to be anywhere as long as he was with her. But as he drove away from her salon that night, he finally gave himself a purpose.

He said: Along with my fierce and brilliant love, my 27th summer ended like that. It pained me because I didn’t know any better and I felt bad because I wasn’t good enough for her. The grateful, exciting, and loving moments (ended like that). I hope to become a tree that can withstand even the coldest gust of wind. On cold winter days, I hope to become the sunlight. On hot summer days, I hope to become the shade.

He had been watching her attend to her client and he smiled at seeing her obvious pleasure being with her client.

He didn’t hear their conversation but if he did, their words would have fired him up, too. The client was encouraging YJ never to give up her career because she had talent, and YJ replied that no, she had ambition.

Like YJ, he needed to follow his dreams and fulfill his own potential.

The reason he felt lacking and not good enough for her was because he had no purpose in life. He looked up to her and low-key envied her because she had ambition whereas he had none. Sure, he was getting award but that wasn’t even HIS ambition to be in the police service; that was YJ’s recommendation.

He had to find his own trophy to claim as his own. He had to become tried and tested, like a wind-resistant tree. And his plan was to become a chef. That was how he was going to make a name for himself in the world.

The third time she rejected him WAS the charm. He was able to survive the rejection because he was no longer emotionally dependent on her. Of course, he felt her pain and was worried about her suicide, but he could accept her rejection like that tree who could withstand the strongest gusts of wind.

That was the point of their encounter in the island. They could walk together.

Here’s the sub from dramamilk. (Thanks, dramamilk!) 

J: In a few hours, this year is over.
YJ: Yeah.
J: You remember when I took a picture of you here?
YJ: Yes, I remember. Nothing changes here, outside changes but no time passes in this place.
J: (coughs)

lol. YJ didn’t remember at all. The “highlight” of that walk back then was his offer to follow her wherever she lived even if that meant staying in the city which wasn’t his preference.

YJ: Are you cold with that much clothing on?
J: Yes, I’m a little cold. Maybe it’s because we’re at an island.
YJ: Winters are supposed to be cold. (removing gloves and offering them to him) Here.
J: It’s okay.
YJ: It’s fine. You should wear them.

He smiled at her and wore the gloves. At this point, we should have realized that he was over her. She was offering him the gloves as a friend and he accepted it as a friend. If wanted to flirt with each other, she could have offered to hold hands with him or he could have given one glove to her and put the other ungloved hand in his pocket.

That’s the glove trope in kdramas. 🙂

Y: We have known each other for 12 years, but I did not know that you got cold in winter.
J: We never spent winter together.
Y: I didn’t know everything, but I thought that we were different, not a good match.
J: Yeah, we did not know each other fully.

Snowflakes started to drift down.

J: It is strange, Not everything goes the way I want, just because I want it to come true.
Y: The future is the most important. That’s why we have to try.

His statement here was an acceptance of their new reality. This trip back to literally their memory lane was an acknowledgement that it was over. He had wished for her – to be with her – more than a couple of times but but none of them came true.

The first time he wished for her, he waited in the rooftop for her after she avoided all his calls. Without bothering to explain her changed circumstances with her brother, she told him to get lost.

The second time he wished for her, he was planning to propose marriage. But before he could confess, she told him that they should break up. Their romance had ended for her and she wanted to stop.

As for the third and final time he wished for her, he didn’t say a word. He didn’t need too. It was in his eyes and the way he held on to her scarred wrist. If she had allowed him, he would have taken her back in a heartbeat. But for her it was too late. She said, “I received too much comfort from you. I don’t deserve it. I need to leave.”

There was too much water under the bridge for them. Their history weighed down on them, and they couldn’t undo or change the past. He understood because he felt the same way. That was why he hesitated before going after her.

This third time was the charm because he could walk away.

This scene in the island was their way of coming full circle. No hard feelings remained after this. This was a new stage in their relationship.

While listening to the widowed grandfather, they learned life moved on for him, too, even when he greatly missed his wife that he kept her pillow by his side under the sheet. Forcing oneself to forget a great love is much harder than living with the memories. Like the grandfather, both YJ and J would just live with the painful memories, instead of pretending they didn’t happen.

YJ looked solemn here, like she was about to cry. I thought she must have been remembering her dead daughter, her greatest love, and I think HE realized that by now. He didn’t appear like he was mourning their own dead relationship.

He looked at her and faintly smiled. To, he’d reconciled himself with this life, just like the grandpa.

Hence, he could attend the Hyung’s wedding and converse with YJ as if nothing was wrong and without longing for her anymore. Translation from dailymilk:

J: How is your new spring beauty shop? (implying that they don’t keep in regular contact)
YJ: Yeah, I was sentimental so I made the contract. I’m doing a lot of ahjummas’ hair now.
J: But you look good.
YJ: The neighborhood is boring but it is good. Nice air, and I can be a bit more relaxed. I can walk around the market and eat ddukbogi. What about you? Oppa told me you are going to New York, when?
J: Next week.
Y: Wow, you are the head sous chef of that famous restaurant? Ohn Joon-young, you are famous now!
J: I will live my life busy, like a real person living.

Their his-and-hers narration reiterated their distinct personalities.

Her narration: After time passed, we became adults, but we are still clumsy and still make a lot of mistakes. So, that is why we comfort each other and worry about each other and embrace each other.

His narration: All the pain and hard time made us grow up, with all the happiness we enjoyed together, maybe that is why we keep walking. To be our fulfilled self.

See? In her narration, her last thoughts were about comforting and embracing each other. Just like what the stuffed toy was for her in the beginning. Just like what her daughter was for her till the accident killed her.

As for him, he finally learned to grow up and seek self-fulfillment. His trophy was within him all along.

😀

Before, looking at their backs, foreshadowing their walking away from each other.

After, walking towards their respective futures.

Moral Lesson: ?? lol. I’ve mine as I’m sure you have yours.

So that’s my “quick” take on this kdrama.

Remember now, I didn’t watch the whole thing. As I said I relied mostly on recaps and comments but did some spot-checking to verify my interpretation.

Hope this helps you move on from the kdrama, Oli.