This was such a short scene that I wondered why it was even included. I was grumbling to myself that this segment could have been clipped off and replaced with a longer kiss scene.

This is what happened: Weiwei invites him out to a meal after cleaning the kitchen. In the restaurant, Nai observes her ladling soup to her bowl. Twice, she scoops up soup and pours it into her bowl. Then she starts eating. He smiles at her and then he picks up his chopsticks.

Simple enough, right? On the surface, it APPEARED to be a non-event. Xiao Nai smiled at Weiwei because she had a big appetite and ate with gusto.

But then, I remembered that this was Weiwei’s first time taking him to a restaurant. All the other times, it was Nai who took her out. And both times, he served HER first before eating.

Episode 10. Remember their first date when they had that fish head soup? He offered her the bowl of soup first.

Then he gave her the big head (with eyeball staring at her…let’s NOT forget that) to eat all by herself.

She suspiciously wondered, “Is he sick of eating this so he’s giving it to me to eat?”

Then he tapped his temple (which @oli suggested meant “You can eat the eyes for brain food.” Uggghhhh).

Weiwei laughed and reassured herself, “No why would do something sinister like that? No, no. Definitely not.”

She got that right! Xiao Nai wouldn’t give her the fish head because he was tired of eating hospital food. Instead, he was giving her the biggest portion because that was how he cared for her. SHE would get the larger share from him.

Later on, he noticed that she had already emptied her bowl of soup but was still scooping up imaginary soup from her bowl. lol. He quickly ladled more soup for her. He was being an inattentive host. And he’s big of being a perfect host, as we’ve all seen from Episode 14.

Episode 12. Remember Episode 12 when they went on a date in a Western-style restaurant?

He cut her a piece of steak. Diligently. Like a good boyfriend.

Then he smiled sweetly at her after placing it on her plate. I hope he wasn’t expecting Weiwei to thank him for his thoughtful gesture because…

because Weiwei was 100% focused on finishing her salad as quickly as possible. She wanted to go home and study. This girl’s got her priorities straight. She’s all “school over boys” instead of “boys over flowers school”.  But in her hurry to finish her food, she forgot her manners.

Nai frowned at her because she was gobbling down the greens like a cow.

lol. She shoveled the meat with the salad. It was a good thing that she didn’t choke on it.

He didn’t comment. He let it pass. He looked down at his plate and smiled.

And now this scene in Episode 18.

Judging from his reaction from these separate occasions, he accepted her “weird” undivided attention to her food whenever she was with him. She was totally absorbed in her food, and he found her cute. Besides, he already knew that she had a big appetite because her friends ratted on her and told him that she could finish a whole plate of chicken wings by herself.

credit: xehun’s tumblr

To me, this rather insignificant scene in the beginning of Episode 18

is a PRELUDE to their late-night dinner à deux in the office later in the episode.

In this segment, he has food delivered to them and he remembers to order her favorite. (Was it pork ribs, according to the subs? Or sweet-and-sour pork? I seem to recall her and Erxi hurrying to line up for their school cafeteria’s sweet and sour pork.)

He puts a slice of meat on her dinner bowl and says, out of the blue, “This is your favorite.” In exchange, she places food too on his plate, explaining, “Non-reciprocity is impolite.”

To me, this is a milestone for her. She’s never done this before for him. She’s always been served first by Nai while she forgets to offer to Nai the first piece.

But don’t get me wrong. I don’t take this against Weiwei.  As far I’m concerned, they’re both learning the “rules of engagement” — or how to take care of each other. Weiwei has shown that she can be thoughtful of Nai’s needs, too. For instance, when Nai forgot to eat dinner because he was working late on his coding, Weiwei ordered his rice with beef to be delivered to his place. When Weiwei complained that food was bad on the plane, Nai also ordered her rice with beef before stepping into his meeting.

But it can’t be denied that Nai is ahead of Weiwei in terms of devotion.

In his case, he thinks nothing of catering to her needs. He naturally serves her first before serving himself. Remember in Episode 15, when he admitted that she’s his first girlfriend?

He declared, “Weiwei, it’s my first time being with a girl. I often don’t know what to do. At least for now, I have to be capable of what others can do.”  This scene was mentioned this in my Episode 15 Highlights but I didn’t explain it, didn’t I?

Well, here’s my interpretation. 🙂

He’s setting a goal for himself. Although he doesn’t know what’s expected of him as a boyfriend, he’s telling her that he should, AT THE VERY LEAST, be able to treat her well.

Meaning, if he does only what is “normally” done or “socially” required of him, then Weiwei can expect these small “boyfriendly” gestures from him, e.g., carrying her backpack, waiting for her after her classes, walking her home after dinner, and tolerating spicy food. Weiwei shouldn’t feel at all like she’s imposing on him.

Remember she said this?

Nai’s reassuring her that EVEN THOUGH these actions might seem uncharacteristic of him, he can do them for her. In fact, he’s telling her that she SHOULD expect at least THAT MUCH from him. But, as he learns to become HER boyfriend, he’s promising to do MORE for her. That’s what he means by “at least for now”.  He’s intended goal, or the BAR he’s setting for himself is to go over and beyond “what others can do”.

Do you get it?

Now, Weiwei’s not at this level of commitment yet. hahaha. Just like with the kissing, she’s taking baby steps.

This is Nai.

This is Weiwei.

Weiwei’s still at the “give-and-take” level.

For her, his thoughtfulness and attention must be repaid and reciprocated. He gives her food, she gives him food. He teases her, she’ll take back the food even she gags on it.

Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with this mindset. Reciprocity is a good starting-off point in a relationship. Of course, it wouldn’t do if one party feels being taken advantage of.

But that’s not what a marriage, or a couplehood, is all about.

I tried to hint at this when I was discussing the difference between the drama Weiwei and the movie Weiwei (which I haven’t finished yet). Critics of the drama were touting that movie Weiwei was on “equal terms” with Xiao Nai as if being on EQUAL terms was the criterion for a happy partnership. I disagree with the notion that 50-50 or precisely “equal” is a desirable or even practicable goal in reality. Life isn’t fair, and so we’ll always have unequal calculations: 65-35, 90-10, 45-55. I also question the assumption that, for Weiwei to be a good partner to Xiao Nai, she must equal his efforts, i.e., she must co-found the company or code half of the program or fight along side him. For me, my only expectation of Weiwei is that she contributes to the project in proportion to her ability and her role. She needs to put in HER share, not his share, of the work.

In my opinion, the best split isn’t 50-50 but 110-110. Although 50-50 is a good enough starting point, both partners in a loving commitment should go over and beyond what is expected. You see, it’s not the reciprocity that matters, but the generosity. You give because you love the person, not because you expect a mutual benefit, an exchange of goods, or something in return.

Now, I think, our Weiwei will learn this soon enough. Her “education” begins here in Episode 18, but it levels up in Episode 22.

In Episode 22, his friends tease her that Nai gets pampered now that she’s around. She likes the idea of taking care of Nai.

Mozarta: Since Third-Sis-in-Law’s been around, Nai has become so pampered. When he was too busy to eat lunch, he’d just eat buns with water. Now, he’s got everything.
Old Man: So pampered.
Weiwei: He’d only eat buns and water?
Old Man: You have no idea. Sometimes, he’d even skip the buns. Look at how it pains her!
Weiwei: I’ve also noticed that he isn’t very picky with food. He asked me to bring him fried rice. That’s not nutritious enough. I’ll handle his nutritionally balanced diet now. Paired with a juice from the heart, he’ll have food and drink. It’s 100% nutritionally balanced.
Mozarta: Help! All this showing off is making me gag.

In Episode 27, she notches up her level when she waits for him to finish his work so he can eat his lunch meal for dinner. She falls asleep waiting for him and when she wakes up he’s already eating his cold food.

Then, in Episode 28, she discovers the fun and joy of teasing Nai with food. At the celebratory dinner, she offers him crab to get on his good side. He replies that it’s too late; she’s already on his bad side. lol.

I love Zheng Shuang’s facial expression here.

Then she tries it again with the mussel.

They’re openly flirting with each other over food. lol. And referring to “dust storms” in the hearing of others. (@oli, @agdr03, anyone, do you recall when this “dust storm” came up? I forgot!)

Then, she gives him oysters because he’s hard-working head of the household. lol. Of course, she doesn’t understand the sexual connotation here.

In Episode 29, at the company vacation, she out-hustles the guys and manages to snag two skewers of chicken barbecue for herself and Nai. She even renames the chicken “Xiao Bei” barbecues.

When Nai is banned from joining the online tournament and winning a chicken drumstick, he asks how will eat then? Weiwei steps up to bring him food.

LOL their conspiratorial glances. He winks at her and she puts on this fierce look to say, “I got this.”

lol. This reminds me of the online games. He’d just sit there playing his guzheng while she fought the monsters and gain points. He acquired points because of her.

Then, finally in Episode 30, at the dinner with her parents, she offered him the first crawfish,

but he peeled it and gave her the meat.

Her mom placed something on his plate, and Weiwei did the same thing. lol.

See that?

Like with kissing, borrowing clothes, and borrowing money, our couple has to learn the dynamics of sharing a meal together. I understand that in many cultures, women are expected to serve the menfolk first so it’s refreshing that in this romance, it’s been Nai who serves Weiwei without her being aware of it. I like that this show was able to show us the slow (emphasis on “slow” lol) progression of their romance through mundane  things like sharing a meal together and caring for the other person’s needs. Romance doesn’t need the sunset at the beach, catching the first snow and slow-mo chase scene in airports that are over-used in kdramas.

I find it most admirable that the writer and director were careful to separate Nai’s thoughtful actions from preachy notions of subservience, servitude, egalitarianism and feminism. Simply put, Nai caters to Weiwei’s needs because he loves her. Sure, it would have been easier for him to tell her “I love you” 24/7. But serving her first, giving her the big fish head (no matter how unappetizing the sight of eyeballs was for me) and ordering her favorite pork rib, all these expressed his devotion for her, louder than words.