This is a work in progress. Please come back later after I’ve finished constructing my thoughts.

Done!

Would I have given Tian Qi a reality check if she were my daughter?

Most of the time I dislike seeing my drama heroine crying over the guy. The quantity of tears shed is inversely proportional to my sympathy. More tears, less sympathy.

But with Tian Qi, I sympathized with her for these reasons.

1. Her “need to know”

We already know the reason she cried: she wanted to hear from him that she was important to him. She’d realized that she loved him since the kite incident. But she was uncertain about his feelings for her. She could hardly expect him to reciprocate her love since she was disguised as a male. So, if not love, she was hoping at least that she was very important to him as a person, as a friend. She was hoping that she mattered a lot to him that he’d defend her when she needed protection.

She feared that she might have TOO much into his declaration that she was his man, and that she was setting herself up for a disappointment.

That’s why she told Dr. Ding in Episode 18 that she blamed herself for thinking he could be her friend.

Ding: Tian Qi, you were kicked out by the General for no reason. Don’t you hate him at all?
TQ: Why would I hate him? I hate myself more.
Ding: Why?
TQ: I just wondered why I was so stupid to take him as a friend without hesitation. I am only a servant. He is the General. How can I take him as my real friend? How can I not blame myself?

And that’s why she asked Ji Heng in Episode 19 whether he believed her. She wanted to know if he thought her capable of tampering with the face cream given to Ning’er and Madame Ji. If he believed in her medical integrity and her innocence, then he would defend her against false accusation.

JH: Before everything is clear, you can’t make or sell the facial cream without permission.
TQ: My lord, I was wronged. I didn’t add anything poisonous to the ingredients.
JH: Whether you’ve been framed or not, I’ll keep investigating it. But for now, you’re a suspect. You can’t keep your job. As to where you’ll be reassigned, I can’t decide this on my own. I’ll report this incident to the Medical Academy, and they’ll decide where you’ll go.

To Tian Qi’s ears, he was insisting on playing by the book. He was following the rules and not making any allowance for their friendship.

TQ: My lord, you…. Have you ever believed me?
JH: (he looked away) I only believe in evidence.

Ha! In 99% of the time, it’s wrong when the hero in a drama claims that he *ONLY* believes in the evidence. Lovers in dramas are always required to “take a leap of faith.” When lover takes a leap of faith for the beloved, there are no guarantees and no “evidence” that he’ll succeed. But he risks it all anyway because of his love.

Remember that. That’s how it goes in fiction, be it Shakespeare or Asian dramas.

But to Ji Heng’s defense, he couldn’t be sure of her from the start. Remember what he previously told Mr. Sheng? He thought that she always spoke nice words, but she always had some secrets that she didn’t want revealed.

TQ: My lord, it’s that I though I have been around you for a long time. I thought you know me well enough. Although I have some shortcomings, I’m not bad in nature. I would never use my medical skills to hurt others. (he looked away)

Now, since Ji Heng demanded evidence, Tian Qi was reminding him that he knew her well. Based on her CHARACTER evidence, he should know that she wasn’t predisposed to act with malicious intent.

TQ: (continuing) My lord, you told me that in the army if someone saved your life, he’s your brother. You also said you would certainly protect me in the future.

Here, she was pleading her case. Remember, she couldn’t get mad at JH. She only had herself to blame because she took him on as a friend without hesitation. She knew there was a big gap between them as she was only his servant.

So, she was reminding him of his promise. Although she claimed that she didn’t have any expectations from him, in her heart of hearts, she wanted him to come through for her. She wanted him to prove her wrong and be someone she could depend on as a friend.

TQ: (continuing) I thought…I thought in your mind, I’m kind of different from others. I thought you will believe me no matter what happens. Even just for a little bit.

There! She said it. It must have been difficult for her to beseech him like that. Nobody really likes to beg for help because it entails losing face and swallowing pride. But with Tian Qi, we’ve seen her acting “shameless” countless of times already with Ji Heng already.

I like the whole interplay here. You see, while he only believed in evidence, she too was looking for her own evidence, her proof that she mattered to him as he claimed. She was waiting for his words and when he didn’t say anything that was her “evidence,” too that her fears about him were correct.

Note: extreme close-up shots are used to make us empathize, feel her emotions more strongly. We’re identifying with her, putting ourselves in her shoes.

Then, from her vantage point, we see him look away. He couldn’t meet her eyes — or was REFUSING to meet her eyes.

And her face fell. She read his body language and his lack of response as “evidence” of her insignificance. She didn’t matter to him as much as she THOUGHT she would.

So, she too looked away and avoided his eyes.

A tear dropped, and she forced a smile. She then bowed.

TQ: What you have just said, I fully understood. (tear trickling down) I’ll go back where I should stay and wait for the Academy’s decision. You are busy. I won’t bother you any longer. I’ll leave.

Note: we’re given his reaction as she said her speech.

She finished without looking at him. She only looked up afterwards, and again he looked down. lol. This whole looking/avoiding is an entirely another conversation in itself.

She smiled then, and turned away.

And he called her then.

JH: Wait. I’ll investigate and give you back your credibility.

By the way, this is a good shot.

For one, this whole large column in the middle of the frame represented the wall between them. For another, all the candles were on his side. His side of the frame showed opulence: candles and gilding. He was THE general.

Meanwhile, on Tian Qi’s side, we only had lanterns. The optics of this shot displayed their difference in their stations in life.

But she didn’t turn around and she didn’t respond and say “thank you.” I believe her non-reaction unsettled him. That’s why he stared at her departing figure till she was gone.

Note: this is another good shot. We’re made to watch her leave from HIS point of view so we can empathize with him, and his feeling of loss. She was returning home, feeling rejected, but he couldn’t do anything to comfort her at that time except to solve the problem quickly.

A few noteworthy things:

First, her parting words echoed her “I’ll accept the punishment” when he ordered her to kneel for reflection after their argument over Sun Congrui. Remember? I told you she sounded cool then. Back then, she sounded defiant.

This time around, however, she wasn’t challenging him. She felt the same distress, the same injustice, but she was accepting his command. She was resigned. She was going to obey him.

There was also a tinge of self-pitying that was absent from the first time. She pointedly said that Ji Heng was too busy and couldn’t be bothered any longer with her demands.

Second, this was a sign of her loyalty. Remember? Mr. Sheng took her to task for not being loyal to Ji Heng. In Mr. Sheng’s words, being loyal meant understanding his position, duties, and constraints. She wasn’t considerate of his needs.

Here, although she was hurt, she was making allowances for his job. She understood that he had to follow the rules of investigation, and he would have to weigh things well.

Third, her forced smile. We knew that she was trying to put on a happy for both of them. She couldn’t help the tears, but her smile indicated a resolution to be brave. She was going to be strong about this.

And lastly, he confirmed that she mattered to him.

When he told her that he was going to find out the truth and give her back her credibility, he was in fact siding with her.  Unlike the other time when he told her to bear Sun Fan’s insults because he wouldn’t cross the Sun family for the sake of a junior physician, he was going to defend her.

Tian Qi didn’t understand that while Ji Heng believed that she was framed all along, he had no evidence to prove her innocence. Hence, he was reporting the incident to the court in order to stall for time to discover who was after her.

He said as much to his brother.

JZ: She must have been framed.
JH: I know.
JZ: If you knew, why did you report it to the court?
JH: To save his life.
JZ: Brother, are you worried that the one behind this will hurt him again?
JH: The facial cream incident happened because somebody knew that he was driven away. So they wanted him dead.

Of course, it didn’t enter Ji Heng’s head that four groups of people were conspiring against Tian Qi at the same time.

a. The Kang siblings were jealous of her and wanted her gone.
b. The political enemy, the Sun family, wanted revenge on her for embarrassing the son.
c. His mother’s guard, who murdered her parents, was scheming to kill her.
d. His nemesis was plotting to use Tian Qi to get at him.

lol. When you look at this, the Kang siblings were actually the weakest link here.

2. Courage!

She knew that she’d be proven right at the end, and he’d grovel when that time came. I thought it was funny when she vowed that she wouldn’t forgive him even if he flew a thousand kites.

She wasn’t feeling sorry herself.

I also liked how the kite became one of the symbols of their romance, along with the fan and the zongzi.

Which reminds me…

I thought this scene when she was clutching the zongzi in the prison cell was melodramatic.

She told herself, “I’m dying. I never thought the last thing I regretted, aside from the unfinished revenge, is not seeing you for the last time. General J, if you know I’m dead, will you feel a little sad for me?”

I didn’t mind that this scene was dramatic because it worked for me, especially this shot.

The composition of the shot made it looked like a painting. You see, if you divide this frame into thirds, you’ll get one dark corner on the left, the well-lit section in the middle, and Tian Qi’s corner on the right.

As usual, our eyes immediately focus on the light source: the lamp in the middle of the frame. Then our vision widens to include Tian Qi’s curled up body. There’s a sense that the darkness will soon engulf the whole room. If it wasn’t for that small light on the table, the room would have been thrown in darkness.

And that’s the symbolism of the zongzi. 🙂

The zongzi worked like that candle. If it wasn’t for the zongzi she’d kept hidden, she would have lost hope already. Both the light and the zongzi gave her courage to wait for Ji Heng to rescue her. She wasn’t giving up on him.

3. Dignity

Her final goodbye was good.

Ji Heng had given strict orders not to be disturbed, but he wasn’t surprised or angry that she showed. He knew what she was going to say so he spoke first.

TQ: If you want me to take back my order, don’t bother. Three days from now, you’ll marry Chun Hua. And leave the mansion immediately.
JH: Can you tell me what did I do wrong? You insist on kicking me out of the manor. All this time, you haven’t told me the reason you suddenly started to hate me and want to kick me out of Mansion Ji.

He couldn’t look at her.

JH: (continuing) Fine! How about this? You can tell me where I’m not good enough. Is it because I didn’t use a fan well? Or because I…I love money too much? Please tell me. I’ll change that, okay?

Ooohh. These were too trivial to be considered offenses. And that’s why this was sad. She was grasping at straws.

She was desperate to stay so she was blaming her even smallest flaws for displeasing him, when the real reason was on him.

“It’s not you. It’s me.”

JH: The simplest answer is I don’t need you anymore. And you are useless to me.

This scene called for a clenched fist.

Of course, his clenched fist meant that he’d steeled himself to say the horrible words for her own good. It’s the fierce “I don’t want to, but I have to” resolve. All heroes have to do this at least once.

TQ: I…I had thought that we are friends at least. I know now that it’s just all been my imagination.

There she had her final answer. She misread him. And she had no one to blame but herself.

She pursed her lips.

She was accepting her “punishment” to leave the mansion, like she accepted her punishment to kneel. But this time, there was none of that defiance, reproach or rancor in her.

TQ: I understand. After saying goodbye today, probably in the future…probably for the rest of my life, I won’t be able to see you again. I won’t be able to repay all the kindness you have done for me. Hence, today, I thank you and say goodbye, my lord. I’m excusing myself now.

I like this. Despite her streaming tears and her cracking voice, she said what she had to say: a formalized goodbye. The stark contrast between her words and her body language said that she was determined to end with dignity. She was tacitly acknowledging that she misunderstood him. She wasn’t going to cling to the illusion anymore.

She even forced herself to smile before she took her leave.

She turned to leave. When she opened the door, he almost called out to her. She gave a small smile then walked out. To me, her smile was to encourage herself. She took a gamble that she’d become somebody important to him, and she lost. But she was going to move on.

The visuals of her last shot was on point, too. In contrast to the goodbye scene in Episode 19, here it was all dark and shadowy. He couldn’t make out her figure outside the door. And I think this brought home how the rest of his future would be for him without her in it.

Of course, we know that she was important to him. He said so when he was drugged up.

JH: Tian Qi.
TQ: My Lord, why do you hate me? Is it that in your heart I’m not important at all?
JH: No. (hugging her) That isn’t the case, Tian Qi. Don’t get me wrong. It’s not what you think. No. No. Please believe me. Believe me, Tian Qi. Believe me.

Sigh. If the actor had just been a bit better, I would have been moved by this scene. As it was, I was cringing. Oh well… at least he had a pretty face.