This is tough episode to review because I don’t like what I’m watching. There’s a big chance that I’m dropping this after the 8th episode. Mea culpa.

I think many recappers and viewers are glossing over a significant topic in this episode.

1. Episode Title: “Noblewoman from the West”

The title was the giveaway.

I think it was a play on a character from a famous children’s book, “The Wizard of Oz.” There’s a Wicked Witch from the West whom everybody feared because she was the most powerful witch in the land.

The aunt, MyungYoo, demonstrated the same fear toward her older sister. She couldn’t come out and say outright that she dreaded dining out with her older sister. Instead, she explained how her sister was the most dreadful person she’d ever known.

She began telling Haewon, “I don’t know about the world of orchestra. But in the literature circle, there were so many crazy people.” She name-dropped a great number of literary figures. Then she derided the aspirations of her university friends of becoming the next great writer as crazy and delusional.

According to her, she’d met a lot crazy people in her literature world, but she was the craziest of them all. But even with her top status, there was still someone who could easily beat her.

Her older sister. She was the veritable craziest ever and nobody could compare to her.

But of course, the funniest thing here is I doubt that her hype was true. In MyungYoo’s eyes, the meanest of all — the “Wicked Witch of the East” — was her unni, MyungJoo.

But to me, there was one even greater than her. It was Haewon.

the daughter Haewon >> the mom/older sister MyungJoo >> the aunt/younger sister MyungYoo.

And why do I say this?

Because just like in children’s book, “The Wizard of Oz,” the Wicked Witch in this kdrama was defeated by an upstart. In the book, Dorothy got rid of the Wicked Witch of the East by dousing her with a bucket of water. The water melted the Wicked Witch away.

In the drama, Haewon confronted and banished her mom from their house. Without using  magic, she got her mom to leave with her angry words.

But note here: the title said “Noblewoman” and I think there’s a meaning there. I’ll explain in a bit. But first —

2. A brief note on domestic violence

I’m not training you to be a legal scholar, so I’ll skimming the main points.

In American law, killing can be justified if a person acted in self-defense. The defendant must demonstrate that she had reason to believe that a threat to her life or a grave bodily harm to her person was imminent (meaning, right now!). She must show that she had no other means to defend herself (i.e, her defense was necessary) and that her use of deadly force is proportional to counteract the immediate threat or violence.

For many cases of domestic violence, this concept of self-defense becomes problematic when no immediate threat is present when the defendant kills her abuser. For instance, the abusive husband is asleep, and the abused wife shoots him dead.

In this situation, self-defense cannot be claimed as the sleeping husband doesn’t pose a threat and the wife can flee as he flees. A counter-argument,  however, can be made that the wife’s escape doesn’t signify the end of the threat to her life. In fact, the danger can escalate as the husband, enraged because his wife fled him, can hunt her down (and their children, if any). Do you see that?

Now, outside the US, this concept of self-defense isn’t viewed in the same way. Obviously. 🙂  Different country, different interpretation.

In this kdrama, MyungJoo didn’t plea impaired mental state. Neither did she claim self-defense. Despite the fact that her face showed signs of being viciously battered, the police still searched for a justification for her action.

Police: Did you have a sudden acceleration of the car? Was it an accident of sudden acceleration? So even though you stepped on the brake, the car kept moving?
MJ: No. I didn’t step on the brake.
Police: Despite your husband being in front of the car?
MJ: Yes. Despite this.
Police: Was it because you were taken aback, or had a cramp in your leg?
MJ: No. I saw my husband in front of the car. But I didn’t want to step on the brake.

Then, based on the judge’s sentencing, MyungJoo was portrayed as a victim of long-term spousal violence who “accidentally” killed her husband as she escaped his drunken fury.

Judge: I sentence Defendant Sim Myeong Ju to seven years in prison. However, considering the fact that the defendant committed the crime accidentally while attempting to escape the victim’s drunken fury, and that the victim, by habitually assaulting the defendant, was also responsible in provoking the crime, and that the victim’s bereaved family does not wish the defendant to be punished…

Feminist groups here in the US, especially those speaking on behalf of battered women, would have demanded her acquittal or reduced/alternative sentencing. In the story, we can assume that MyungJu served her seven years in prison. After her release, she continued to live apart from her daughter Haewon.

3. Haewon’s reaction

Now, what I find bothersome about this whole domestic violence subplot is Haewon’s indifference to her mother’s situation. Look: her mother arrived in town unexpectedly. Instead of using this unexpected occasion to start anew, she vented about her old grievances. Had she been a teenager, her behavior would have been understandable. But as a grown woman in her late twenties (or thirties), I expected her to sit down with her mother in a calm manner, and finally have a heart-to-heart conversation about the past.

But she was triggered when she saw her mom pottering in her room.

HW: Mom, why did you really come here? You don’t exactly have a reason to come. You wouldn’t have come to see me or Aunt it’s not Grandma’s Memorial Day or about Dad. What reason do you have to come? Did you leave anything by chance? You could’ve told me in advance. I could’ve mailed it to you, no problem. Although I don’t know your address or how you pack.

This is passive-aggressive behavior. Meaning, she was angry and resentful, but she acted as if she was such a thoughtful, helpful, and cooperative child. Her mom knew that she was spoiling for a fight.

Mom: Are you trying to start an argument with me right now?
HW: Have we ever argued? I don’t think so. Haven’t we?
Mom: We haven’t.
HW: Why did you come? Are you not going to tell me?
Mom: It’s because it has nothing to do with you. (pause) Why are you laughing?
HW: “Because it has nothing to do with you.” I’ve heard that so much from you. But the funny thing is, that’s not something a parent says to her child, it’s usually something that the child says to the parent.
Mom: (sighing)

Haewon is wrong here.

But she wasn’t a mother so how could she understand? In my opinion, her mom was refusing to tell her anything because her mom didn’t want her involved. Her mom wanted her untainted by the domestic violence. She wanted her to keep the illusion of having a wonderful father so she kept the beatings that she received from her husband secret.

To me, two scenarios are possible here:

One, it’s possible that Haewon didn’t see the bruises on her mom’s face because her mom wore shades to cover them up.
Two, Haewon saw the bruises on her mom’s face but she was in denial that her dad was an abuser. In this case, her mom didn’t push the issue.

HW: It’s not like you only do that to me. You did that to Aunt, Grandmother, and Dad.

Meaning, her mother shut out the whole family. In Haewon’s mind, the three people in her life, her Aunt, Grandma, and – gasp! her abusive dad – were all VICTIMS of her mother’s coldness and silence.

But look now: Even if it was true that her mom was a cold, introverted and intensely private person, her personality “flaws” still didn’t justify getting beaten up by her husband. Domestic violence is wrong.

Mom: That doesn’t –
HW: (ranting now) Have anything to do with it. Right, I know. However, what am I supposed to say to a mother like that? I’m really curious. What should I ask you and say to you? I haven’t asked you anything to this day. Is there anything I have asked? Where you live, who with, or alone, why you don’t live with me, why we only see each other once or twice a year despite being family, I don’t ask you any of that! Why…Why have you never heard my side, or even answered my letters. Why back then, why you did that to Dad back then, and if it wasn’t because of me –

There! Did you hear that? She asked her mom why she killed her dad! She was asking a battered woman why she finally decided to stop the abuse and save her own life.

HW: If you really meant to kill him, or it just ended up that way and you felt sorry for Dad, so you went to jail. I haven’t asked. Right?
Mom: Stop it.

Haewon didn’t get it. Her mom was so abused that she felt that her only way to survive was to defend herself from her attacker, her husband. She was willing to go to prison to end the violence against her. For her, this one instance of aggression was in response to a long-term, continuous domestic assault.

Of course, a domestic violence victim, like Haewon’s mom, could be asked why didn’t she just leave when she had the chance? Off the top of my head, I could name a few reasons:

She had Haewon to consider. She could be afraid of losing custody.
She could have feared retaliation. Her husband knew where her family lived.
She could be financially dependent on him. She had nowhere to go.
She could be in love with her husband and was waiting for him to change. This happened.
And she could feel guilty. She was a beautiful person and she felt responsible for her husband’s jealousy or insecurity.

Anyway, to continue…

HW: It was hard for me too. My heart was hurt too at the time. I really wanted to die too, even if not as much as you. I really wanted to go somewhere and ask you what I did wrong to be thrown away like this. But I didn’t. I didn’t have anybody to ask. You all threw me away while taking care of your own pain. Leaving me alone.

Ugh.

Haewon detested BoYoung and didn’t want to forgive her. She explained to Eunseob why. “I said I didn’t want to, but she came in front of the house impulsively to find me. I didn’t like that. Some people would call her a romantic. But I don’t agree. It’s disregarding my feelings, since I said I didn’t want to. It’s saying that in the end, she will do as she pleases. She should respect the feelings with which I rejected her. She should acknowledge my feelings when I said I wouldn’t accept an apology. Don’t you think so?”

Don’t you see that this selfishness she abhored in BoYoung was the same selfishness she showed her own mom?

Her mom told her that the situation had nothing to do with her, and that she didn’t want to discuss it with. But Haewon persisted. Some people would call it romantic brave of her to finally express her true feelings. But she didn’t respect her mom’s feelings.

Just like BoYoung didn’t respect hers.

She didn’t want to accept her mom’s refusal to discuss the past just like BoYoung didn’t want to accept her refusal to to become friends again.

HW: So it’s really uncomfortable and inconvenient for me if you come looking suddenly. So, leave tomorrow. And definitely let me know before you come next time.

Ouch!

She was acting as if she was the sole owner of Walnut House. Her mom had every right to be at the house since the house belonged to her mother. Besides, her mom wasn’t there to visit her but to visit her @#$ husband.

To me, her mother was taking the high road here. The conversation between the two sisters seemed to indicate that her mother decided to keep her in the dark about the abuse. Eunsub did the same thing for her — he spared her from knowing that her mother sported a black eye when he last saw her. He only told her that her mother was beautiful when he met her accidentally at the bus station.

And now, the mom was again leaving without telling her the truth. That’s why her aunt suggested that she wrote a letter.

Mom: By the way, about Mok Haewon, she was angry at me.
Aunt: She’s been angry at you for thirty years. But Unnie. There’s one thing for you to do to melt her anger.
Mom: What is it?
Aunt: A letter. Write a letter. Like what you did for me.

And that’s why I think the title of this episode is “Noblewoman from the West.” Her mom was a *noble* woman.

For one, if she was indeed restraining herself from disclosing the truth to preserve Haewon’s childhood fantasy of her father, then she was acting nobly.

But for another, if she was maintaining her silence, even now when Haewon was all grownup and ready to handle the truth, then she was acting like a noble idiot.

She was the “noble” woman because after all these years, she was still paying the price of her husband’s abuse.

4. Poems

a. Me, Natasha and the Donkey
Welllll… we already knew that it was a poem, right? 🙂

b. Something Small and Trivial
by An Do Hyeon

Something small and trivial
Sometimes comes inside my body.

Like the prickly seeds of a cocklebur
Or like Min Seok’s fingers that slightly grazed my armpits
Or a toothache that troubled me
Every time I forgot about it
Like the smell of jjajangmyeon that we ate after class

Something small and trivial
Sometimes comes inside my body.
Something small and trivial
Doesn’t even know my body is its prison
And comes into my body
To sometimes hug me intensely.

Ugh! Viki doesn’t sub the poems. Thank goodness for Kissasian!

I thought it was cute that this poem was read while EunSub’s sister was being saved from the bullies by her crush. She’d been a thorn in that boy’s life. But now,  that her crush finally did something good to her, she was rethinking this whole infatuation thing.

When you look at it, the poem was fitting. Something small and trivial (i.e., the crush’s good deed) left a big impression on her. And that small “heroic” gesture of her crush was enough to last a lifetime in her memories.

5. EunSub’s Private Blog Post

“I thought about the things I said to Irene before. Every first loves are in the past perfect tense? Aaaahh. Why did I say such a thing back then. Thanks to the repair work at Walnut House, she and I are accidentally sharing the same space. If she asked again now, I might say this. That most first loves are in the past perfect tense, but I’m the exception. That for me, nothing has been finished yet.

PS. Irene bought flowers. When I asked why camellias, she said that they were the flowers her father liked when he was alive. With the stories of her family she sometimes tells me, I feel a little bit closer to her.”

Two things here:

a. Remember what I said about “past perfect tense” in the first episode? I’m not repeating myself here.
b. Buying the camellias because they reminded her of her dad could be mean one of two things: Either she was still romanticizing her dad as a good father (and she had her mom to thank for shielding her from the truth) or she was seriously living in denial that her dad was an evil person.

6. Stealing BoYoung’s boyfriend

I thought that was a petty move by Haewon. I don’t like seeing this ugly side of her.

*******

Will edit this tomorrow because I’m so sleepy.