Before I begin my review, I want to give a thundering applause to the doctors, nurses, paramedics, and scientists fighting this coronavirus. Also to the policemen, fire fighters and truck drivers. They’re today’s heroes.

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As most of you probably know, my face is very precious to me. I avoid tearjerkers like “Marriage Contract” because I don’t like getting bug eyes from crying, and because I break out in hives whenever I come in contact with sensational plots and overwrought emotions. But I’m watching this kdrama although it’s marked “melodrama” since I’m self-isolating. No one will see my ugly face.

Here’s the lowdown on this episode in three sentences.

1. A 36-year-old TV anchor, Jung Hoon, has a secret mental condition called hyperthymesia.
2. He meets a young celebrity, HaJin, who unbeknownst to him, has selective amnesia.
3. He has a dead girlfriend.

1. The benefits of hyperthymesia

Hyperthymesia should be added to our list of kdrama’s esoteric mental conditions, along with prosopagnosia and savant syndrome. A person with hyperthymesia is someone who can remember his personal experiences to the minutest details.

One obvious advantage of hyperthymesia is Jung Hoon never has to worry about forgetting his lines as a TV anchor. He’s always cool under pressure because he memorizes everything.

Another benefit of his unique memory ability is he can spot the lies and inconsistencies in another person’s behavior. This is important because, not only does he read the news nightly, he also regularly interviews individuals who are considered media-darlings. Because he easily remembers past incidents and news articles, he can expose the duplicity of these public figures, like:

• the Businessman, who received a “Businessman of the Year” award but abused his own personal assistant,
• the actress, who wanted to be a role model but selfishly delayed a plane flight, and
• Yeo  HaJin, the female lead, who he targeted because of her fickleness.

The last benefit of his hyperthymesia is it gives the ability to go back in time. Remember Proust and his famous cookie? With a whiff of his tea and a bite of his madeleine, Proust was unexpectedly transported to his childhood days.

Well, in this kdrama, there are similar “madeleine moments” for Jung Hoon (JH).

His pen was the first “madeleine.”

In the opening minutes of this kdrama, JH dropped a pen and picked it up. As he studied it, he suddenly remembered his mom writing, “To You Who Remembers” with a pen when he was a child. It was the same pen he was using now. It was his mother’s pen.

The engraving on the pen said M. H. Seo. With his autobiographical memory, he can travel back in time.

In an understated way, JH described his hyperthymesia like this: “The law of time is fixed. Time only moves forward, and you can never rewind it. But there is one way to go back in time. It’s through your memories. Unfortunately, I remember one too many things.”

JH’s mom impressed upon him when he was young that his hyperthymesia was a blessing. She believed that he was lucky because he could cherish all the happy and precious memories.

But by 11 years old, he was beginning to realize that his mom was wrong because the good memories weren’t the only ones he could remember. He couldn’t forget the bad memories, too.

2. The curse of hyperthymesia

While his mother saw the good in his mental condition, his neurologist, Prof Yoo saw its burden.

In a lecture to his university students, he proposed this scenario: “Think about it. What if your brain lost the ability to forget? What if it remembered everything?” A student replied, “My head would explode.”

He answered, “It’ll be similar. It’ll be overflowing. It’ll have trouble saving new memories. And even if your brain could take it, it’d be difficult for you to live a normal lifestyle. Let’s say you broke up with someone you love. It’ll pain you that day. It’ll pain you for a while. But how would you feel after a year or 10 year? You may not remember her face. It’s thanks to your brain that you forget. But what if you can’t forget anything? What if you’re still reliving the breakup even after 10 years? So you shouldn’t blame for your brain for forgetting things. There’s actually a good side to that.”

To the Professor, that’s the biggest curse of hyperthymesia: there’s no forgetting from the bad memories. For him, forgetting is both a) the brain’s natural process to avoid an overload and b) the brain’s natural defense against mental insanity. But if forgetting is  therapeutic, then JH isn’t getting any self-cure because he can only remember thing.

My take here is that the Prof Yoo believes JH is a ticking timebomb. Once JH’s memory storage reaches maximum capacity, he’ll snap. He’ll be unable to have new memories,  and he’ll be stuck in a perpetual loopback of his (sad) memory.

There was one moment in this kdrama that hinted at sad fate of JH. After his interview with abusive businessman, JH spoke with the assistant who was waiting in the wings.

Asst: It ended so quickly like a dream.
JH: I know you made a tough decision. Thank you for your courage.
Asst: Now that I let it get out, I think I shouldn’t have held back to this day.

To me, that showed the disadvantage of having a permanent memory.  After the assistant spilled his guts and disclosed all the abuses he’d suffer from his boss, he could have closure. He could get relief by letting it all out. That’s why he said it ended quickly like a dream. He meant that his abuse was over, and his fear of confronting his boss was over, like a bad dream.

He could turn the page and begin a new chapter.

But for JH, he can never have such a closure. Even if he found the murderer of his girlfriend, he still wouldn’t be able to stop himself from replaying the image of her dead body on the snow. That vision is on endless playback in his mind because of his hyperthymesia. And the image of the snow became his other “madeleine moment.”

When he previously picked up the pen and remembered his mom writing with it, there had been a light snowfall outside the window.

If his girlfriend didn’t die in the snow, his memory of snow could have remained happy and innocent. But her girlfriend was thrown of a balcony and her blood turned the snow-covered ground red. So now, snow has become indelibly linked to that tragedy.  Every time, he sees snowflakes slowly drifting from the sky, he’s immediately transported to that moment he saw her body crashing onto the ground.

To me, the only way JH can overcome his trauma is by having a good memory of a snowy day with the female lead Ha Jin. Although it won’t erase his memory, at least, he’s added something new to the old.

3. HaJin

The female lead is the reason I’m staying to watch this show. I like the actress in “The Great Seducer.” She made her mark as a villain and I want to see her progress.

Also, I think her character is perfectly written to be the counterweight of the male lead. If the viewers simply focus on her ditziness, they’re going to miss out on the subtle themes of this drama.

Take for instance their age differential. Some viewers might find this off-putting but I didn’t mind it at all. I thought it was deliberate done by the writer.

He’s 36 years old. He’s mature, staid, and boring. He wears the same suit to work and he likes somber black or navy ties. He’s a teetotaler, too; he was worried when he sipped her spiked coffee by accident.

She, on the other hand, is youthful. Her age isn’t revealed in Episode 1, but I’m assuming she must be in mid-twenties. She’s brash, a bit shameless, and trendy. She carefully picks clothes to flatter the skin tone. One time, she was caught by the paparazzi with a hairclip dangling from the middle of her head. Instead of being fazed, she nonchalantly secured it on the side of her hair like it was an expensive fashion accessory.

She tolerates her alcohol very well, and she’s not above taking a drink of alcohol to calm her nerves before a stressful show.

It’s clear that her insouciance is something he greatly needs in his life. He’s unflappable in a crisis but she can shake him out of his boring routine. But I’m not saying that she’s wild and foolhardy. In her own way, she’s unflappable, too. She doesn’t let the bad press, jealous actresses, and hate from netizens bother her.

Mind you, in kdramas like this where there’s a big age disparity between the couple, there’s always a danger that the romance will be lopsided, that is, the girl will become a doormat for the guy. So I was waiting for a scene which would convince me that he could be sweet and tender with her, too.

It came in the tie-switching scene.

Ha Jin knew that he’d ignore her advice to replace his tie and that he’d lie about it. So she preempted him and chose a tie for him instead. I thought he’d repulse her boldness, but to my surprise, he actually relented and gave in. Despite having only a minute to exchange ties, he quickly swapped his tie as she ordered.

HJ: Why didn’t you change your tie?
JH: Oh, this. I looked for one, but I couldn’t find one.
HJ: That’s a lie. You had a lot of ties in your green room. I found one. This is perfect for you. Put this one instead.
JH: (Just looked at it and ignored her)
HJ: Hurry. We don’t have much time.
JH: Must I change it now?
HJ: I’m serious. That one looks terrible on you. This looks much better on you. It complements your skin tone. Hurry. We only have a minute.

He was still fiddling with his earpiece so she stood up.

HJ: Should I do it for you?
JH: Uh, no. (gets it from her with a sigh) I’ll do it myself.

She sat back smiling. He began to change his tie. Everybody in the studio began to panic. The show was about to begin.

HJ: (whispering to herself) It’s not as bright as I thought it would be. (lololol.)

This scene was when I thought he had a potential as a romantic here. I liked that he put up with her demands. His “compliance” augured well for their future. It told me that he could be putty in his hand….which of course is very important to a feminist bitch… errr … sentimental person like me.

4. Both media personalities

But their age and personality aren’t the most important differences between them. It’s what they both REPRESENT that’s significant. You see, both of them are media personalities, but they’re in different fields.

In JH’s case, I think he became a newscaster because he’s been on camera ever since he was 11 years old. Of course, I’m assuming here that his sessions with the neurologist and the neuropsychiatrist were all videotaped for the records. To me, JH should be at ease speaking in front of the camera, and repeating what he saw, both in his memories and on the teleprompter.

For HJ, I don’t know yet what made her choose to become a celebrity, but she’s good at being a celebrity.  When she was caught in a scandal of dating two men, she didn’t a public relation manager to clean up the fallout. She’s very media-savvy. She herself issued a denial in her usual flamboyant style and her followers readily believed her. I liked that her creative use of hashtags.

Her text: No way. Two-timing? Wrong, this is far from the truth. Yeo Min and Gwang Ji are both great guys but I’m not dating any of them. Please don’t misunderstand. #lovescandal #surprise #justfriends

Of course, when JH read her text, he was appalled at her scandal. lol

Both of them are media influencers. As a TV anchor, JH provides news. Barring fake news (Ha!), he helps the general populace form an informed decision. Then, as a host of his interview segments, he shapes public opinion by exposing the frauds in the society.

HaJin also influences the young people in her own way. She defines their “aspirational” goals and their buying habits. She projects a beautiful image and, consciously or not, she persuades her followers that if they want success or coolness like hers, they should copy her.

He represents news and she represents entertainment. In their respective worlds, they’ve become trusted faces. That’s why I’m looking forward to this kdrama. Although it is billed as a melodrama, I expect to see hi-jinks when they try to convert the other person to see their world from their perspective.

5. Truth and Honesty

Their desire to change or modify the other person to their way of thinking is visible at their first public interaction.  As I said, she tried to change his tie because the tie didn’t fit his appearance. Being a celebrity, optics is very important to her.

Meanwhile, he tried to shame her on national TV for changing her mind so often, because to him, constancy is important. He doesn’t like public figures who deceive the public. That’s why he grilled the abusive businessman earlier.

JH: Before the interview, I checked out your social media account. From what I observed from your social media account, you’re not consistent and seem to be a fickle person.
HJ: Pardon?
JH: I’ll give you a few examples. You uploaded countless numbers of posts praising a certain product and its company, then expressed your dissatisfaction many times. Then, you expressed your support for a certain political party, then withdrew your support in just three months. Then a week later, you expressed your support for that party again. Is there a particular reason?
HJ: Yes there is.
JH: I see. May ask what it is?

HJ: (pausing) I don’t exactly remember now, but I definitely had a reason.
JH: But you can’t seem to remember that definite reason, although it’s definite.
HJ: Its…
JH: If you continuously change your values and beliefs, for reasons you don’t even remember, don’t you think you’re a little too irresponsible as a celebrity who has the power to influence the general public?
HJ: Its…
JH: You just said you’re rather honest. I’m not sure. From a different view, it can look like you’re covering up your irresponsibility as honesty.

He kept interrupting her. She couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

HJ: That’s not it…
JH: If that’s not it, you might be using honesty as your shield.
HJ: I don’t know. I don’t want to…be that complicated when it comes to my feelings. Regardless of making complicated reasons or calculations, I just want to live simply counting up to about 5 or 6.

He grilled her on being impulsive because he saw her whims as signs of her irresponsibility and dishonesty.

For her perspective, however, she was expressing herself honestly and openly. She didn’t intend to deceive. If she appeared to be unreliable because of her changing tastes, it was only because she desired transparency. She wanted to live in the moment, and she was showing her sincere feelings.

Unfortunately for her, JH mistook her changing feelings as proof of her deception. He’s been around too long with lying and two-faced people that he assumed she was one of them.

It’ll be interesting to watch her unfiltered frankness disarm him in the future.  I’m definitely watching this kdrama but I’ll only do a review as needed. I think this is a straightforward show.