I already gave you two ways of looking at lies.

Start-Up: Ep 6 On Lying, Part 1

I’ll give you a couple more. The reason I’m doing this is so we, Bitches can see that lies aren’t the same, and judge them according to the situation or context in which they were said.

Let’s all remember that this writer also did “Pinocchio.” Though I haven’t had the opportunity to go past Episode 1 (but it’s on my “To Watch” List), I know that lying is a theme of that show, too. The heroine in that kdrama suffers from “Pinocchio syndrome.” It supposedly makes her hiccup whenever she lies. But, irony of ironies, the heroine dreams of becoming a reporter. Her chosen career requires her to disseminate lies and misinformation with a straight face. And there you have the whole conflict of the drama: how can she deliver fake news given her predisposition for honesty?

“Start-Up” also deals with lying as a theme again. Three people are lying to Dalmi to varying degrees, motives, and accountability. But as I said previously, they aren’t lying to her out of malice, but out of kindness. Their lies show that they care for her.

To me, their lies are the metaphorical “sand” in Dalmi’s life.

Lies = sand

Her father covered the swing area with sand to prevent her from hurting herself. lol. I know what he means; my sons also had a swing set. But instead of sand, we had wood chips. When my boys accidentally fell off the swing or when they jumped off the swing to end their turn, they didn’t scrape their knees and hands because of the protection.

Lies are similar to these ground coverings. The Grandma, JP and Dosan had taken over the task of her father in protecting her from hard falls. They’re covering up harsh realities so she wouldn’t get hurt emotionally. Her Grandma started it; she dragged JP into it, and they both dragged Dosan in the end. But at some point, all three liars will have to scale back their kind protection in favor of honesty.

There are shades of gray in their dishonesty, and I’m giving a couple more points to consider. Let’s not squawk, “Shame! Shame! Shame!” like the silly fangirls.

3. Lie of Omission vs Lie of Commission

These are easy concepts to spot in this kdrama.

A lie of omission is a passive lie. Usually for a lie to be lie, the falsehood has to be spoken or written. For instance, if you’re planning to lie to me, I won’t know about it until you actually tell it to me, either orally or in writing. Do you get me? For a lie to become a lie, it has to be communicated. 🙂

That said, there are times, however, when remaining silent or avoiding clarification or not speaking up actually create and perpetuate a lie. This is called a lie of omission. In this drama, the best provider of lies of omission has been JP.

In Ep 6, when Dalmi confronted him directly, he choked. He couldn’t tell her because he didn’t know what to tell her and where to begin.

Then, in Ep 7, he met Dalmi outside her house. He had all the time to reveal the truth himself, but he didn’t.

He’d gone there to chase after Dosan because Dosan informed him of his decision to tell the truth.

Dosan: Well…I’m thinking of telling Dalmi the truth today.

Note: although he looked hesitant here, he’d already decided to tell Dalmi. His knitted scrubbers signified his intention. He looked hesitant, however, because he wasn’t comfortable speaking to JP who treated him like a dolt.

JP: (at first, he didn’t get it) The truth? (then he was shocked) About the letters?
Dosan: Yes.
JP: Why, all of a sudden?
Dosan: I want to remove a bug that’s bound to occur someday.
JP: Don’t tell her.
Dosan: I want to.
JP: Everything will be ruined, the company and your relationship with her.

There’s the lie of omission. He was urging Dosan to be silent. He didn’t Dosan jeopardizing the company since he expected Dalmi to get mad at Dosan after hearing the truth.

Dosan: No, it’ll be alright.
JP: Why so confident?

JP was right. In the epilogue in Episode 7, it was revealed that had Dosan told Dalmi the truth that night, there was a big chance of Dalmi transferring her emotions to JP. As she told her Grandma that evening, she’d still pick the one who wrote her the letters 15 years ago.

lol. In a way, Dosan should be grateful to Grandma and JP for stopping him from revealing the truth to Dalmi.

Dosan: That’s what I want to ask you. What can 15-year-old letters do? What makes you so sure it’ll be the end?
JP: I think they can do a lot more than you can now.

Meaning, JP had formed more connection in those 15-year-old letters than Dosan established in his weeks-long relationship with Dalmi.

Dosan: Ah. We’ll see about that.

Ah! The brashness of youth! The sheer audacity of a lover!

JP: “We’ll see about that”? (clenched his hands)

Note 1: JP was more bothered about Dosan’s challenge than Dosan’s intention to reveal the truth. He couldn’t erase Dosan’s parting shot from his head. In the car, he repeated it, “’We’ll see about that’? How dare he.” On the road, he said it again, “’We’ll see about that’? Why should I listen to you? I refuse!”

Note 2: The lie of omission seeks to perpetuate the lie. JP didn’t mind the lies anymore because they’ve become convenient to the smooth running of their operation.

But the most blatant lie of omission by far was during dinner.

Grandma: (talking to JP) I’ve heard a lot about you. Dalmi said you’ve been taking great care of her. You’re her savior.
Dosan: (looking bothered)
JP: Ah. That’s…
Dalmi: Strictly speaking, he’s Dosan’s savior. He’s helping me because I work with Dosan.
JP: That’s not true.
Dalmi: Pardon?

Grandma and Dosan looked at JP. They’re waiting for him to spill the beans. Since Dosan had already made up his mind to tell her that evening, I highly doubt that he’d mind JP’s confession. Same with the Granny. She once offered to tell Dalmi the truth before she had to wake up from dreaming, but was stopped by JP.

JP: I don’t help anyone and everyone. I’m not that kind of person, nor do I have that much time.
Dalmi: Then, why are you looking after me?

Their reactions:

pics

They were waiting for JP. Again, neither Dosan nor Granma was going to protest if JP revealed the truth.

JP: For my ROI.
Dalmi: Sorry? For your ROI?
JP: I’m an investor. I’m not helping you for free so you must repay me tenfold.

There! He intentionally avoided telling the truth.

pics

Now, a lie of commission is just as easy to spot as lie of omission. It’s an active lie so you can see its formulation and its delivery. Especially with Dosan, you can tell right away that he’s actively lying because he rubs his hands together.

Take for instant that scene in Episode 6. Dalmi was about to search JP when Dosan stopped her.

Dalmi: Oh! Where’s Mr. Han? Where did he go?
Dosan: Why are you looking for him?
Dalmi: I’ve something to ask him.
Dosan: Dalmi. (grabbing her) Ask me instead. I’ll answer for him instead.

I like the zoom-out of the camera here. The camera had been focused on their faces but when Dosan grabbed her, the camera zoomed out to show that whale.

That blue whale reminded me of a scene in Episode 3 when JP lectured him for acting, “recklessly, without even thinking about the consequences.” JP warned him that if he did that, he’d die; if he encountered a storm or a shark, he’d die for sure.

And here we have a big whale overhead. It could swallow him up alive. lol. That’s foreshadowing. He was about to do something reckless because of Dalmi (i.e., like lying here that JP was hyung, and smashing the glass name plate in Episode 7)

Then Dalmi must have posed to Dosan the same question she asked JP. Why was JPgoing out of his way to help them?

Dosan: I asked him to. I was finally meeting you after 15 years and I wanted to impress you. So I went to him and asked him for help.

Here, he was speaking a partial truth. He did want to impress her because he spotted her at the drop-off place for the baseball and was smitten with her.

Dalmi: But why would he help you?

He fidgeted with his hands then told a lie.

Dosan: We’ve very close. We’re practically like brothers. That’s why.

And that’s a lie of commission.

4. Altruistic Lie vs Non-altruistic Lie

This is easy to understand, too. An altruistic lie is when you lie to somebody in order to protect somebody. For instance, you’re hiding Lee MinHo in your attic, and the paparazzi come knocking on your door looking for him. You tell them that Lee MinHo just left to go to the Starbucks across town. That’s an altruistic lie.

A good example of an altruistic lie is JP’s lie. He lied for Grandma. Grandma came to him to find Nam Dosan.

JP: We made him up. How can I possibly find him?
Grandma: I know. Just make someone up.

He protested vehemently when he found out that Grandma wanted him to look for the boy in the pictures.

JP: That boy from 15 years ago? That’d be even harder.
Grandma: That’s why I came to you. If it was easy, I would’ve already have found him.

He was shocked that Dalmi hadn’t dated because of the imaginary Dosan they created. He blamed Grandma for perpetuating the lie (Lie of omission!!).

JP: Why did you lie to her for ten years if you couldn’t handle it?
Grandma: I didn’t expect her to believe this for so long. This is partly your fault, too, you know. You raised her standards way too high with your letters. She thinks most guys are lame now.
JP: You don’t remember. You wrote those letters with me. And you’re the one who started all this. I was only helping you.

Grandma: Fine. It’s all my fault. The kid was all alone and had no friends. I wanted to give her someone to talk to but apparently, I shouldn’t have. I made a terrible mistake. Why did you even say you’d pay me back? Why did you say such a thing and make me come all the way here?
JP: Fine, I get it. I’ll look for him.

And he was given five days to look for Dosan.

From the start, he’d been reluctant to be part of this lie, but he did it because Grandma had asked him to. His deception was an altruistic act. That’s why Grandma calls him a “Good Boy.” Although he protests loudly each time, he ends up doing Grandma’s bidding because he’s a good boy…or pushover at heart.

Now, the other person who’s committing an altruistic lie is Dosan. In Episode 7, Grandma asked him to lie for her, too, about her fading eyesight.

Dosan: I’m guessing that Dalmi doesn’t know.
Grandma: Right, she doesn’t. So pretend you don’t know anything either.
Dosan: How can I do that? If she finds out later–

He was resisting like JP resisted to be involved in her lies.

But his protest was said in his usual gentle style so it’s easy to misinterpret his protest as being less adamant or less passionate. Since he wasn’t resisting as forcefully or loudly as JP, he looked more of a pushover than JP.

Grandma: She’ll probably cry and blame you for not telling her. She’ll cry and be resentful.

In other words, Grandma wanted him to endure Dalmi’s anger. Sure, Dalmi would get mad at him for his “lie of omission” but Dosan should bear it for Grandma’s sake.

Grandma: (continuing) Then, she’ll pity me, just like you’re doing now.
Dosan: Mrs. Choi, I’m just —
Grandma: I don’t like being looked at like that. It makes me feel as though something really bad has happened. As if the whole world will turn pitch black right this second, and my life will be completely destroyed. But you know that’s not going to help my eyes get better. I don’t want that pitiful gaze from anyone else. No more of that gaze.

In short, she didn’t want to be pitied. She wanted Dosan to lie for her. Dosan agreed. He was going to commit an altruistic lie.

But note here: Based on the way that Grandma asked her favor, her lie could be considered NON-altruistic. The lie was for her own benefit; it was self-serving. She was imposing her request on Dosan, without any regard to his possible suffering or setback, because she didn’t want to be pitied.

Grandma: (continuing) Thanks to you, Dalmi has been smiling a lot lately. Since the day she met you, she’s been going on about you every day. Her eyes sparkle like diamonds when she talks about you. I’m sure you know how pretty her eyes are when she smiles.
Dosan: Yes. Of course, I know.
Grandma: I owe it all to you, Dosan. Thanks to you, I can see those pretty eyes every single day. If I can see them for just a little longer, then even when I go blind, I’ll have no regrets. Can you please help me? Is it too inconsiderate of me to ask such a favor?
Dosan: No. Not at all.

Well! We know what kind of lie this was, right?

It was a prosocial lie.

Of course, it was inconsiderate of her to ask such a favor. But what choice did he have but to deny it. He had to lie because he was an empathic and compassionate person. He wasn’t going to bring up that he could lose Dalmi because of this deception.

Grandma: I’m counting on you. Don’t tell anyone.

Dosan: Okay.
Grandma: Don tell Dalmi or Jipyeong.
Dosan: You mean, Mr. Han Jipyeong?
Grandma: Yes. That “Good Boy” will go on about his debt again and make a big fuss over it. Gosh, I’m so tired.

And that’s when he realized how they were all connected.

Dosan: The deep despair that I can’t even try to understand (meaning, the Grandma’s growing blindness). While watching her quietly embrace (the inevitably of her blindness) and accept it into her life, it became clear. The person who led me to a first love I didn’t even know existed… And the person who offered him (meaning, JP) a kindness that could never be repaid… It was her. All these miracles began with her.

Thus, he accepted to lie for her even though they both knew that Dalmi would end up hating him for not telling her the truth.

For a non-altruistic lie, we look to…who else? InJae!! Again that lie about being the inspiration of Sand Box was self-serving. She lied to the mentors for her personal benefit.

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I’ll stop here. But do you now see why it’s good to have various perspectives on lies? 🙂 To truly appreciate watching a drama, we can’t just go with our feelings. “OMG!! The feels!!!” are for sappy viewers, not for bitches like us.