Chapter 9. Undercurrent. I can’t help falling in love
Featured Object: Two pills

As always, you’re free to make up your interpretation. This is mine.

1. “Undercurrent”

In this episode, the word “undercurrent” had nothing to do with the movement of water beneath the surface. It refers to a hidden feeling or hidden implication that’s very much different from what is being literally said. To get the “undercurrent,” one must be able to read, not only the body language, but also between the lines.

One example was the text messages. On the surface, Jiaxu scolded because Sang Zhi hadn’t opened his texts to her. But after his admission that he knew all along that her phone was confiscated, it’s easy to see his hidden feelings. He felt neglected and overlooked. He couldn’t wait for her to find out that he’d been texting her all that time.

Another example of a scene in this episode with much undercurrent is when he had to back out of their dinner date. Sang Zhi had arrived at their meeting place and he wasn’t there.

This scene reminded me of Episode 2 when she waited at the bus stop for him. Like then, she was impatient to see him so she called him up.

SZ:  Hello, Jiaxu Ge. I’m here. Where are you?
DJ: Sorry, Sang Zhi. I don’t think I can make it tonight.

He didn’t call her up sooner because a) he was doubling up in pain, and b) he was hoping he could make it to their date night. Tsk tsk tsk.

SZ: (sensing something’s off) Are you working overtime?
DJ: (lying) Yes. Order something for yourself. Don’t starve.
SZ: Your voice sounds off. Are you not feeling well?

She sensed the undercurrent in his voice. Sure, his voice was cracking but it also sounded like he was in a hurry to terminate their phone call. He was giving her last-minute instructions to eat.

DJ: Not at all. (wincing in pain)
SZ: What’s wrong?
DJ: It’s just a little stomach pain. Maybe it’s food poisoning. It’s all right. I’ll just take some medicine.

He admitted that it was stomach pain – and not work – that was keeping him from their dinner. But he was still downplaying his pain.

SZ: But shouldn’t you go to the hospital?
DJ: No need. This is nothing serious.
SZ: Why don’t you go to the hospital. Holding off the pain won’t make it better. Where is your office located?
DJ: Don’t trouble yourself. I’m all right.

Undercurrents: She knew that he was trying to make light of the situation. The more he downplayed his pain, the more she sensed that he was seriously ill.

SZ: Where is your office located?
DJ: Gang Bei complex.

He gave her the address because a) he knew it was futile to argue when she was determined to get to his side, and b) he didn’t want to admit it but he needed her there.

SZ: Okay, I’ll be right there.

I like this moment because of the way Sang Zhi handled the situation. She didn’t respond to the crisis like an indecisive teenager. She took charge. Though she couldn’t see his body language, she was attuned to his feelings. She could read between the lines.

Another reason I like this moment is because he was in tears when Sang Zhi arrived at his office. He secretly wiped his tears upon seeing her enter the lobby.

This tells me that a) he was really in pain, b) he thought he was going to be alone, c) he was moved by her appearance, and d) he was an emotional kind of guy.

This reminded me of the airport scene back in Episode 6 when he read Sang Zhi’s star message. At the time, he was also feeling all alone in the world and Sang Zhi’s thoughtful gift moved him. He was an emotional guy.

I like seeing the role reversal here. In kdramas and cdramas, it’s typical to see the woman in distress and the man rescues her. But in as much as Jiaxu saves Sang Zhi from predicaments (like her school teacher, the bullies, and physics), Sang Zhi saves him during those moments in time when he’s feeling lonely and abandoned.

2. The joke

Like a guy who embarrassed to be needing a girl’s help, he attempted self-deprecation.

SZ: (taking his backpack) Let me take this. Lean on me. (wrapping his arm around her shoulder)
DJ: I’m okay.
SZ: Let’s go. Come on. Watch your step.
DJ: Are you helping an old man, young girl?

Note: the Netflix subs used the word “kiddo” again. In Youku, the word he used was translated as “young girl.”

SZ: Can you walk on your own?!
DJ: I…I’m not saying you’re a kid.

What he meant was that he didn’t mean to tease HER. Rather he was mocking himself for being as weak as an old man.

3. The explanation of the featured object, the two pills

Sang Zhi was right.

SZ: Had we not had plans for dinner today, he would have just held it off, and never come to the hospital.

To be clear: if she hadn’t insisted on taking him to the hospital to get his pain checked out, he would have simply taken two pills, gone home for the night, and waited it out.

Thus, to me, the two pills represented:

a) her persistence. She wanted him to get his pain looked at. Her actions mirrored the time when she injured herself at the high jump, and Jiaxu brought her to the first aid tent and treated her for abrasion. He looked after her back then. Now, she was looking after him.

b) his self-endurance. He was resigned to enduring the pain all by himself. But having her with him gave him the impetus to treat his illness. It’s as if he was encouraged to deal with the situation immediately because he had somebody worrying about him.

Doctor: Judging by the ultrasound, it’s acute appendicitis. And you waited to come in. Had you come any later, it would’ve ruptured.
SZ: What do we do now?
Doctor: One is conservative therapy. We admit you and ease the inflammation.
SZ: I see.
Doctor: The other method is going straight to surgery.
SZ: Then –
DJ: Do the surgery.
SZ: (looking worried)
Doctor: Okay.
DJ: (smiling at SZ) It will be all right.

To me, there were two reasons he made up his mind quickly about the surgery. One, because he was in pain, obviously. And two, because he didn’t want Sang Zhi worrying about him. He didn’t want to give her stress and anxiety so he took the more aggressive medical action (instead of the conservative one) although this entailed delaying his work project for a week.

Funnily enough, as he was wheeled into surgery, he was giving her stress, at the same time, feeling stressed out about her. It couldn’t be helped.

DJ: It’s late. Head back to campus. It’ll be unsafe for you later.
SZ: I’ll wait for you outside.
DJ: It’s not a major surgery. It’s okay.
SZ: I’ll wait for you.
DJ: The surgery will take –
SZ: Stop talking.
DJ: Go and get yourself something to eat.
SZ: Mmm.

Undercurrent: he was trying to soothe her fears about his surgery, but he was also worrying about her safety and her dinner.

4. Sang Yan’s phone call

DJ: What’s up?
Brother: Hello, buddy. I heard you got your appendix cut out. How does it feel?
DJ: (sighing) Not bad. Would you like to try it?
Brother: No, thank you. But I heard my sister took you there.
DJ: Yes.
Brother: Did you have to trouble her for such a small problem? Couldn’t you go to the hospital yourself?

Lol. If only Sang Yan knew what really happened! The fact is Jiaxu did NOT want to trouble Sang Zhi with his big problem. He wanted to hide it from her. But she insisted on taking charge and taking him to the hospital herself.

To be fair, Sang Yan was right to point out that Jiaxu’s medical emergency could have been avoided had Jiaxu acted on it sooner. He didn’t need Sang Zhi to decide to go to the hospital.

DJ: Did you call me just to tell me that?
Brother: No, I had dinner with my parents. They told me you were sick, so I called to celebrate. If there’s nothing else, I’m going to hang up. I’ll carryon with my game.
DJ: Hold on. I want to tell you something.

What was he going to tell Sang Yan? What else? He was going to confess that he accidentally kissed Sang Zhi that evening, and that Sang Zhi might be feeling badly about it.

Brother: Was is it?
DJ: (changes his mind) Forget it. It’s nothing important.
Brother: Buddy, can you not do this every time? Just spill it like a real man!
DJ: It’s nothing. Bye.

Sang Yan was protesting that Jiaxu left him hanging. He was all ears because he thought Jiaxu was about to confide a secret. But when Jiaxu changed his mind, he thought Jiaxu was either being coy or messing around with him.

However, I thought it was ironic that he told Jiaxu to “spill it like a real man.” Jiaxu suddenly clammed up because he was, in fact, being a man, a true gentleman. A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell. Even if the kiss between him and Sang Zhi had only been an accidental one, it wasn’t right to share it with her brother.

5. The kiss

Technically, this was his first kiss: his lips accidentally bumped her forehead.

Technically, too, the scene followed the web novel. They were both surprised by the physical contact and didn’t know what to say. She was in a bind. If she reacted, she might look weird, like she was creating a fuss. But if she didn’t react, it might look improper, like she didn’t mind it. Should she pretend that nothing happened?
It was a good thing that he apologized first.

However, the cdrama differed from the web novel in that both of them were clearly flustered.

DJ: I didn’t mean it.
SZ: I didn’t mean it either.

In the web novel, Jiaxu made a joke about it. When he apologized, Sang Zhi looked up at him and saw how pale he was. He was sweating profusely, too. So, she worried aloud that she had caused him more injuries after bumping into him. He then brushed her concern aside, with a joke. He accused her of scamming him because she had only touched him slightly.

Personally, I preferred the cdrama’s version. Jiaxu should know better than to tease Sang Zhi, especially when their “first kiss” must have affected him, too.

I also liked the nuance of their apology. Instead of merely saying sorry that they bumped into each other, they were asking each other not to misconstrue it. That is, they had no nefarious intentions. They weren’t taking advantage of the situation.

6. The makeup and the sandals

I think many viewers didn’t get what happened in the epilogue so let me explain it.

Sang Zhi was invited to go to the movie by the P.E. guy. She already had dinner plans with Jiaxu but her dorm room friends insisted that she go with them on a group date. She agreed, thinking, if things got awkward during dinner with Jiaxu, her friends would be her excuse to leave early.

So she dressed up for that Sunday night with the dinner date and the movie date in mind. One of her roommates (the one with the boyfriend) made a fuss about her outfit. She put on lipstick before heading out. The roommate with a crush on the P.E. guy took a lipstick and put it in her bag.

Lol. The director couldn’t be more obvious with her intent here. She was calling our attention to Sang Zhi’s own clothes and makeup.

Sang Zhi was sitting at her desk with a mirror in front of her. She was presumably checking her eye make-up because she was blinking. To me, it’s noticeable that she ditched her usual winged eyeliner, tidied her usual careless topknot in a single braid (like a schoolgirl’s), and muted her red lipstick.

When the other girls left the room, she stood up to get ready for her dinner with Jiaxu.

Note how differently she was dressed from her roommates. They were all wearing street clothes.

She was about to put on her nice heels to match her feminine pink dress when she remembered what Jiaxu said to her at the club.

DJ: Sang Zhi. It has been so long. You’ve learned how to put on makeup. You’re indeed different from before.

In my analysis of Ep 8, I said that his comment wasn’t a compliment AND Sang Zhi knew it. He was saying one thing but he meant another. He was telling her that she looked like a grown-up because of her makeup. But Sang Zhi was smart enough to read between the lines and discern his unvoiced meaning.

His undercurrent is sarcasm. He DID NOT like this new look of hers; he DID NOT find her makeup charming, and he certainly DID NOT approve of this different Sang Zhi.

That’s why after recalling his words, she replaced her heels and picked up the pair of sneakers instead.

That act was symbolic. She was no longer striving for that grown-up, elegant image. She was going back to the youthful, girl-next-door look. She made a conscious decision to resume her old look, the one that Jiaxu liked.

And I checked the web novel to confirm my observations, and here’s what I found.

a. The web novel didn’t mention any heels and sneakers. This was the screenwriter’s addition.

b. There was a passage after their reencounter where she reflected on his past kindness and her ungrateful behavior toward him. She then resolved to revert to her “previous self” that liked him.

c. Then, in another passage, right before their dinner date, she found herself removing all the makeup she applied, even the fake eyelashes she especially put on for the occasion, because she found them a “bit weird.” She didn’t want Jiaxu to think that she had put on makeup for him.

d. Her denial is the major difference between the web novel and cdrama. In the web novel, she was still pretending that he wasn’t the reason she prettied herself. In the cdrama, she was no longer in self-denial that she wanted to look pleasing to his eyes.

She knew she looked pretty as she was…just like she knew she looked her best when she saw him at his graduation.

When we look back again at the scene when she was waiting for Jiaxu to arrive at their dinner, it’s clear that she was happy and confident about the way she looked. She glanced down at her shoes and even twirled around.

She underwhelmed Jiaxu at their first reencounter — when she looked like this —

but she was confident that she was going to impress him with this look.

Why do you think she sat behind her desk and only stood up when her roommates left the room? Methinks she didn’t want to reveal her dress and get teased for glamming up. Lol.

Also, if we watch the pufferfish scene again, we should see that the camera panned from her sneakers to her eating bread with a gusto of a kid to her chubby cheeks.

The camera shot was deliberate. Visually, the director was showing us Sang Zhi’s charm. Jiaxu couldn’t resist falling for her when she looked like this.

That’s the significance of the epilogue. It redirects our focus on what we missed or misunderstood in the first watch.

7. “I can’t help falling in love…”

a. He can’t help falling in love with her while watching her stuff her cheeks with bread.

Look here: when I say that he finds her cute, it doesn’t ONLY mean that he finds her appearance cute. I mean that he finds her personality, cute and endearing, too. She makes him smile.

DJ: (thinking to himself) She is stuffed like a pufferfish again.
SZ: (self-consciously) Jiaxu Ge, what’s so funny?
DJ: Nothing.
SZ: (standing up)
DJ: Where are are you going?

To my ears, he sounded a wee bit anxious that she was about to leave him because he offended her.

SZ: I’m going to freshen up.
DJ: Go ahead.

b. She can’t help falling in love with him while wiping his face.

Back in the beginning of Episode 1 when she met him outside her brother’s college dorm, she said that it was the second time she had looked at him closely. I reckon this must be the third time.

She had fallen for him at first sight. And now that he had his eyes closed, she could gaze at him as long as she wanted.

c. He can’t help falling in love with her while she wipes his face.

According to the web novel, Jiaxu didn’t expect anybody “to take care of him this way,” especially Sang Zhi who was just “a kid that needs a lot of people to take care of.” To me, the cdrama veered away from the web novel’s depiction of Sang Zhi as a “needy child.” Sure, Jiaxu wasn’t the type to ask for attention, but he also knew Sang Zhi to be a caring and considerate person. Remember: in Episode 6, she volunteered to give him her money when she started working so he could pay his debts, and in Episode 8, she told him how she moved and settled down in YiHe on her own.

At any rate, I can see how Jiaxu would fall in love with her while she was tending to him. If she could fall for him – with her eyes wide open – while he was tending to her injuries on that Sports Day, then he could also fall for her – with his eyes shut closed – while she was cleaning his face. After all, her gentle strokes would have felt like caresses.

Must run.