I know you all are two episodes ahead of me. Hope to catch up soon.

1. The Backstory

We’re getting a clearer picture of the connection between the main leads because JiHyuk’s backstory was filled in.

We already know that the female lead, Kang JiWon died on April 12, 2023. But on her way to death, she took a cab driven by her late father in disguise. After death, she found herself transported 10 years back in time.

As for Yu JiHyuk (JH), back in 2023, he went to her funeral and witnessed her husband and best friend being arrested for her murder. He attended her internment in a columbarium all by himself. That night, he couldn’t get his car to start, and JiWon’s dad mysteriously arrived to give him a ride in his taxi.

Her father was their connection. He had many roles: he was cabdriver, Cupid, life coach, fairy godfather, banker (he gives money/allowance), and miracle worker.

I like the contrast, too.

The dad picked up JiWon on a spring day with the cherry blossom petals swirling in the air. But he picked up JH on a stormy evening with the rain pouring down hard on him.

JH and JiWon’s dad had an interesting conversation about regrets and do-overs. The dad noticed his grim appearance.

Dad: You must have lost something precious.
JH: I don’t even know if she was or not. We barely knew each other.
Dad: Oh goodness. Why, though? A man should be daring. You should’ve seen it to the end no matter what.

His comment has undertones of disapproval. He suggested that JH was at fault for failing to show steely determination.

JH conceded that he was right.

JH: I should have. I’m regretting it. I think I had a few chances.
Dad: Why did you miss them?
JH: I didn’t know it was my chance. Other times, I thought it was wrong. Honestly, I don’t know. I realized my feelings recently. I was just living. But when I heard that she had died… (sigh)

To me, he hesitated to pursue the girl because:

a) he feared rejection. Back in college, he overheard JiWon talking to the stray kitten and describing him as weird and ugly;
b) he didn’t want to poach somebody else’s girlfriend. He was a man of integrity;
c) he focused only his work to fulfill his grandfather’s expectations;
d) he lacked boldness. Like, he was good enough to try out for judo team but he concentrated only on economics degree;
e) a combination of all these factors.

Dad: If you get another chance, what will you do?
JH: There are no more chances.
Dad: (insisting) No, if there is, will you take it? Seeing as how you missed all those chances, maybe you just didn’t. Maybe something stopped you.

This comment was confusing. My guess is he was hinting at JH that it wasn’t YET the right time to get together with JiWon. He didn’t “miss” his chance so much as the timing was all wrong. That is, it was the wrong lifetime. They weren’t fated to be together just yet.

JH: I…
Dad: So don’t regret it. I’m sure there’s a reason for your choice. Or will you grab your true chance?

The dad didn’t want him to squander his second chance. JiHyuk must do more than LAMENT about his regrets. He actually needed to do something to fix this regrets of his.

JH: This might sound stupid, but I didn’t know how I felt. If I had, I’d have protected her. So if I get a chance, I’ll take it.
Dad: (smiling)

After that encounter, JH was back on the road driving his car when a ginger cat crossed his path. He swerved to avoid the cat, but he crossed the center line into the path of an oncoming truck. He over-corrected and flipped over the orange traffic barrels.

[Let me digress here a bit. As cruel as this may sound, I don’t swerve to avoid an animal that runs in front of my car. I just step on the brakes and remain in the lane. Swerving has a higher chance of resulting in a more serious accident, like a car crash or a car falling in a ditch. The life of the driver (and passenger) is more important than any wildlife.]

Thus, a week after Kang JiWon’s death. And just like her, he magically traveled 10 years in the past. He woke up to find himself reliving April 19, 2013.

In their current time, JiWon explained to JH the rule of rebirth. I found it interesting that she figured the “rule” shortly after her rebirth while JH hadn’t even realize that there was such a rule going on all this time.

JiWon: But I found out that I can’t evade anything by running away.
JH: (puzzled)
JiWon: You see, I used to have a scar here. I was burned by a coffee pot. (taking his arm and showing his scar) You got hurt instead of me. The shape of this scar is exactly the same.
JH: If I didn’t get hurt, eventually you would’ve gotten hurt?
JiWon: (nodding) Yes. Avoiding isn’t the answer. Either way, the inevitable will happen if I don’t give my fate to someone else.
JH: A wound for a wound. Marriage for a marriage. And a death…for a death.
JiWon: So I’m not going to run away.

Then, JiWon asked him how he came back.

JiWon: I thought I had died but woke up to 2013.
JH: (lying) I fell asleep and woke up. Then I was in 2013.

That was a plausible lie.

He lied because he didn’t want to tell her that he died, too, and thus had to find someone to foist his fate on. He wanted to solve this problem on his own, without adding to her concerns. Being an honorable person, he was faced with a moral quandary.

2. Should he accept death or wish death upon an unsuspecting individual?

JH died in a road accident. Who should die in his place?

The way I see it, he had three candidates.

a. Min Hwan, JiWon’s cheating boyfriend, and future husband

b. Lee SeokJun, the director instructed by JH’s grandfather to keep tabs on JH

I wonder who the people were in this family photograph.

They would be heartbroken by his death, though.

c. Baek EunHo, the chef and JiWon’s high school crush

But JH being JH, he obviously had qualms about foisting his imminent death on EunHo. If he was less scrupulous, then sure, he would want his rival to die in his place. EunHo’s death would make it easier for him to win JiWon. However, EunHo’s death would sadden JiWon, and he didn’t want that.

To me, he was visiting EunHo’s restaurant and ending up drunk there because of his indecision: which one of them should perish in a car accident?

He was checking on EunHo to determine if he would make JiWon a good husband. I guess, it would make it easier on his conscience if EunHo was a jerk. He wouldn’t feel so guilty transferring his death to him. But then, EunHo turned out to be nice guy.

He could only envy EunHo’s long life and drown his self-pity in alcohol.

I thought it was cute that the next time he had dinner at the restaurant, he ordered “A Drop of Tears.” He was still trying to drown his sorrows but this time in sparkling mineral water.

3. On JH’s regrets

There was a 2022 best-seller called, “The Power of Regret” written by Daniel Pink. He researched people’s attitudes toward regrets and found four different types of regrets.

The first is foundational regret. This refers to the “little” choices that people pass up or turn down that, over time, accumulate and grow in significance. These choices and decisions are considered foundational because – without realizing it – people were laying the groundwork for a massive regret in the future. The full ramification of their “little” decisions won’t be obvious till it’s too late.

In JH’s case, it’s so easy to see his foundational regret. If only he asked for her name and looked for her after that night they slept in open air. If only he went over to her when she was feeding the kitten and introduced himself. If only he searched for her after college graduation. If only he befriended her when she worked in his office; after all they were from the same university. If only he was friendlier with her then she wouldn’t fall for MinHwan’s charms. And so on.

The second is boldness regret. This is about regretting missed opportunities because of one’s lack of courage and guts. In JH’s case, he was comfortable living the life that his grandfather had dictated for him. He had multiple chances to pursue JiWon but he didn’t have the nerve to against his grandfather’s ambition for him, and the company policy on dating.

The third is moral regret. This is when an individual regrets not doing the right thing. However, in JH’s case, he’d been so conscientious and righteous that I think his moral regret is NOT thinking outside the box and painting outside the lines.

And the fourth is connection regret. When a person regrets not reaching out to someone, that’s conneciton regret.  Obviously, JH regretted not reaching out to JiWon earlier.

That’s how I would break down JH’s regrets. It helps us understand his mindset better when we categorize his regrets.

4. On JH’s regret, part 2

In the same book, the writer Mr. Pink made a distinction between unproductive and productive regrets.

He said that unproductive regret is a regret that paralyzes the individual. To me, JH is on the verge of wallowing in his misery because he’s unable to transfer his fated death on to somebody else and can’t change his future.

To be honest, I’m not happy that JH’s happiness is totally dependent on Jiwon’s happiness. I haven’t seen the future episodes, but it grates on me he’s made it his life goal to protect her, support her, oblige her, and delight her. I wish he’d get a life of his own, too.

JW: Mr. Yu, I’m fine.
JH: Nothing is fine! You could just tell me. Why is that so hard? Just ask for help! Why take the hard path?
JW: I’m not SuMin. Because she’s wrong and I’m right. I won’t live like her. I’m going to get everything on my own! That’s the right thing to do. That’s what Kang JiWon would do! Because that’s me.

I think she’s conflating some things here. SuMin is manipulative. She manipulates people to get things the easy way. JiWon can ask for help without manipulating people. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. In fact, it’s foolhardy NOT to ask for help just to prove that she’s different from SuMin.

JH: (staring at her intently)
JW: Mr. Yu. Is there something you want?
JH: I want…

Flashback to when they were drunk in high school, and she told him that after all the instability in her life, she wanted to have feet firmly planted on solid ground.

JH: …I want to be solid land.

Land ahoy!!

Seriously, this was my reaction.

That was the cheesiest line I’ve heard so far this year. It was as cringe-y as that 2001 Enrique Iglesias’ song, “Hero.”

I can be your hero, baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my very breath away

The way I SEE it, JH’s form of regret isn’t very productive. He’s passively waiting for JiWon’s moves. He’s passively hanging around her. He’s passively existing for her.

As romantic as he might sound with that whole “I want to be your terra firma” confession, I wish he would get a life of his own.

5. On JiWon’s regrets

In contrast to JH, JiWon’s regret is productive.

In his book, Mr. Pink described productive regret as something that catalyzes the individual to do something to change his/her life. For JiWon, her regret was a springboard for reversing course. She said as much when she met JH after wading across the river to retrieve the flag.

JH: That was dangerous and reckless.
JW: I know I won’t die from drowning.

True. She wouldn’t die by drowning. She died in 2023 because MinHwan pushed her and her head hit the glass table. JH stared at her, presumably because he realized that she got a point.

JW: What scares me the most is living the same life as before with this second chance. In order to not do that, I can do anything.

I like JiWon’s boldness. I like that she constantly analyzed the past and strategized on how to use her previous mistakes to make a better decision – and action — in the present. I like that she wasn’t passively waiting for bad things to happen again.

Maybe some of her confidence and boldness would rub off on JH in the next episodes.