I’m still on board this kdrama.

1. Why JungWoo hates Nam HaNeul

In his own words —

JW: Okay, now let me tell you why I started to hate Nam HaNeul. With my gifted brain, I became the top-ranked student in my school, in my region, and in the country. That’s me, Yeo JungWoo. I was good at sports, too. I also had an unbelievably amazing personality. Simply put, I was extremely popular. So I assumed. I thought my life would come up roses forever. And then, one day, a crazy girl appeared out of nowhere. Nam. Ha. Neul. She ran around just to solve one more question. She ate instant coffee without water to save time and not go to the bathroom. She was obsessed about studying. Thanks to her, I was given the taste of defeat for the first time in my life. I became faster. I did more. I worked quicker. I even sacrificed my sleep. I even starved.

When he was about to call it a day at the study hall, he saw that she was still hard at work. Like the Energizer bunny, she was indefatigable….or so he thought.

JW: And so, I was on the road to destruction when one day… [they both fainted after math class]…. And thus, I came in second even when we fainted.

I laughed when I saw that single tear drop from his eye again. The single teardrop made him look like a drama queen more effectively than a river of tears.

They were sent to the clinic where, after a much-needed sleep, JungWoo woke up to find himself beside HaNeul. Thinking she had just awakened like him, he asked her, “Are you okay?”

Instead of answering him, she turned away to read her small notebook. He was so stunned by her coldness that he sputtered that she was crazy and turned his back on her. He didn’t see her stealing a look at him.

Note: this was not the first time she rebuffed his display of concern for her. In Ep 1, when she tripped, he offered her a hand to get up. But she tugged him down and then leap-frogged over him. He called her crazy, too.

When he woke up from his nap, he saw that her bed was all tidied up. His homeroom teacher told him that she had rushed out to get a seat in front of the hagwon (cram school) class.

JW: Despite ruining my once peaceful life, that heartless girl didn’t even ask if I was okay. She lacked manners and kindness, and she was rude! I couldn’t hide my shock at her actions and desperately hoped we’d never cross paths ever again.

JungWoo’s voiceover reminded me of that movie, “10 Things I Hate About You” starring Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger. In a poem, Julia’s character listed the 10 reasons she hated the guy. But at the end of the poem, she revealed one significant truth that belied her real feelings for him.

In much the same way, JW could list all the reasons he hated HaNeul. But if truth be told, the real reason he hated her was that he did NOT hate her at all.

To borrow the words from that movie –

“…But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all.”

2. While he was sleeping…

Of course, JungWoo didn’t know that a few things happened while he was asleep in the clinic.

One, HaNeul had written him a note calling for a ceasefire in their competition. She wasn’t as heartless as he thought she was.

HN: JungWoo, let’s not exhaust ourselves. I’ll stay strong. You should stay strong, too. Everything will be okay.

Two, HaNeul overheard his mother berating their homeroom teacher for needlessly calling her to school. His mother pooh-poohed JungWoo’s fainting spell, saying, “I heard he’s just anemic. Fainting while studying isn’t uncommon. And you made me come here for this? Not only are his grades falling but he also ended up like that. How could he not come in first even in high school? How embarrassing!”

From his mother’s tirade, HaNeul learned the underlying reason for JungWoo’s drive to be the top student in class, region, and country. It was to fulfill parental expectations to be number one.

Three, HaNeul was distracted from handing him the note by the arrival of her own mother. Her worried mother had rushed to school upon hearing the news of her fainting. She wanted to take HaNeul to the hospital for a check-up. I’m sure that being a smart girl, HaNeul must have immediately appreciated the contrast between JungWoo’s mother and hers. She could consider herself the lucky one — or the “gifted” one – because she had a caring and supportive mother, while JungWoo didn’t.

3. Their mutual understanding

Back in the present time…

After mutually comforting and consoling each other the previous night, JungWoo and HaNeul naturally felt awkward when they bumped into each other in the morning. They had different ways of dealing with the awkwardness. She hid behind a delivery truck, but the truck drove off. Meanwhile, he pretended that their hug never happened.

HN: Good morning.
JH: Good morning. Long time no see.
HN: (bluntly correcting him) We had drinks together last night.
JH: Right, we did.

HaNeul decided to explain away their temporary emotional weakness from a medical standpoint.

HN: I drank too much last night. You know alcohol numbs the frontal lobe and hinders rational decisions, right?
JH: (quickly agreeing) Of course, I do. Our frontal lobes were to blame last night, not us.

He was shifting blame. It wasn’t “them” but a small part of their brains which caused the aberration…as if their brains were a separate and distinct part of their bodies.

HN: Of course. Of course. From now on, let’s keep our frontal lobes in check. Let’s stay away from alcohol and each other. Promise? (holding up a pinky)
JH: Promise. (holding up a pinky, too) Oh, right! We said we should stay away.
HN: You’re right. Okay. Then, get lost already.

The word she used for “get lost” was “kkeojyeo” (or 꺼져). As far I know, this slang is rude. You’re telling somebody to get out your sight, similar to “beat it” or “get the hell out of here.” However, I found it cute that HaNeul said “kkeojyeo” to pretend to be curt and dismissive. In turn, he echoed the word with a smile. They were mutually pretending to dislike the sight of each other when in fact, they were being very tactful and mindful of the feelings of the other person.

JH: (smiling) All right. You should get lost, too. Bye!
HN: (calling him back) Yah!
JH: What?
HN: (pointing out that he was going back up to his place) Weren’t you just leaving?
JH: You’re right. I’ll get lost then. (then retracing step) Sorry, I need to get lost that way.

Thus, they mutually agreed to a) stay away from each other, and b) stop drinking together. But they couldn’t comply with their mutual agreement for more than 12 hours. That very evening, after JungWoo’s room was broken into, HaNeul checked up on him and coaxed him to eat and sleep with her family that night. She couldn’t stay away from him.

4. A note on the spy pen recorder 

JungWoo’s rooftop room was broken into, not because the intruder wanted to steal something but because he wanted to leave the listening device at JungWoo’s place.

There were three such devices: One pen was in the planter in JungWoo’s consultation room. Another pen was hidden among other pens in what seemed to be the staff room in JungWoo’s clinic. The third pen — which the intruder left in JungWoo’s room — seemed to be under a piece of furniture, perhaps the bed or cabinet.

In Episode 4, it’s shown that KyungMin, JungWoo’s “sunbae” (senior) at the hospital, possessed the same spy pen recorder. KyungMin was also the anesthesiologist working in HaNeul’s hospital. When she quit her job, she had him take over her duties.

5. “It wasn’t your fault.”

HaNeul helped JungWoo clean up the broken glass left by the intruder. She consoled him, saying, “So don’t worry too much [on the break-in] and focus on your trial instead. Things will work out. It wasn’t your fault.” JungWoo perked up after that.

She then brought him downstairs to eat with her family.

In the following episode, after her job interview was cancelled, the first person she thought to call up on the phone, and to share the disappointing news with was JungWoo. She said, “Hey, JungWoo. I couldn’t do the interview. I think I’ve lived my life wrong.” Then, JungWoo appeared out of nowhere to deliver her the good news.

HN: What are you doing here?
JW: You didn’t live your life wrong. It’s not your fault. I came here to tell you this.

I think this is one of the important messages this kdrama.

Often when something bad happens in life, it can lead an individual to incorrectly and/or excessively apportion blame, guilt, and shame on himself/herself. I think Eps 3 and 4 show us that it’s okay to be compassionate and understanding to others as well as to our own selves.

To hear someone tell us that “it’s not your fault” is probably the medicine we need to heal our broken self, and to move us past a major blow.

6. On being friends

I like the progression of the friendship in this episode.

At the dinner table, JungWoo had to explain their relationship to her mom. Her mom rearranged the serving plates to give JungWoo easy access to the meat dish.

HN: Goodness. I thought you were HongRan’s friend since she introduced you to us. But I had no idea you and HaNeul used to go to the same school.

Her brother gave away that he’d seen his face in her yearbook. (Lol. What was he doing studying the yearbook? Didn’t he have better things to do with his time?) He asked JungWoo if his noona had been prickly, too in high school.

HN: Why are you so curious?
Brother: To be honest, I’m not too curious. It’s just something you ask when you bring friends over.
HN: (snarky) Friend, my foot. We weren’t that close.
JW: (hurt) I never said we were. I wasn’t close to you one bit!
HN: (scoffing)
JW: (scoffing back)

Then, the mom rearranged the dishes again. This time, she moved the meat dish out of JungWoo’s reach. Lol. I thought she was playing “Tetris” at the dinner table.

JW: Let me explain. I had absolutely no opportunity to become close with her. She only put aside ten minutes a day to chat and never talked outside of that! When we invited her to eat tteokbokki, she lied about how she was allergic and all she did was study.
HN: Yah! You knew I was lying?
JW: Of course! No one’s allergic to tteokbokki! (snarling) You should’ve used a more believable allergy.

Clearly, he took it personally that she came up with a silly lie just to get out of going with them. He still remembered the incident after all these years.

But Haneul explained why she did it. She actually wanted to eat out with them, but then the outing wouldn’t have ended there. She would have also wanted to go to the arcade and karaoke afterwards.

HN: … I knew I wouldn’t want to study, so I stopped myself. I held back on eating or doing what I wanted back then.

Then, HaNeul’s mom began to cry. She pitied her daughter who had pushed herself so hard that she ended up lonely and exhausted. The brother reminded her that they had a guest and she apologized and stopped crying. She tried to put on a brave face. As an olive branch, she pushed back the meat dish in front of JungWoo again.

Later that night, JungWoo and HaNeul went out for ice cream to escape her mom.

JW: It feels like a movie scene. The stars are beautiful, and the moon is glowing. It could be a movie poster. See? Don’t you feel better after getting some air with your friend?
HN: (insisting) We’re not friends. Just former classmates.
JW: What’s the difference?
HN: Friends are people you willingly befriend. Classmates are people who are placed administratively in the same school.
JW: (sarcastic) Gosh. Thanks for drawing that distinct line, my fellow classmate.

Nonetheless, she couldn’t resist him when he attempted to breach the drawn line.

JW: You probably never rested since kindergarten. Isn’t there anything you’ve wanted to do?
HN: I did want to spend all night reading dissertations like a maniac.
JW: (mocking her) Yes, you do seem like one. There are tons of fun things to do. Why would you want to read dissertations?

She protested that she loved reading them to unwind.

JW: This won’t do. I’ll have to teach you. Let’s eat tteokbokki and go to the arcade. And karaoke, too.
HN: What?
JW: You said you wanted to do all of those things in high school but held back because you would’ve stopped studying. But you’re free now. Which means you can have all the fun you want.

Then, he dragged her off to the tteokbokki stand and the arcade. He allowed HaNeul to experience the fun things she missed in high school because she chose to study above anything else.

I like that the director made sure that we knew that HaNeul was “reliving” her high school days by showing first, HaNeul in her uniform.

and then, the both of them in uniforms while dancing.

Mind you: I think this is Park HyungSik’s forte in kdramas. He exudes perfect boyfriend vibes.

His character JungWoo knew how to give HaNeul a good time. He knew the cool things and made allowances for her geekiness. He let her pick the games she wanted to try. He made her feel young again when they bopped on the dance machine. He was also an empathetic listener. He understood what she was going through, and knew the right thing to say.

HN: (sighing)
JW: You didn’t have to sigh. Fine, you don’t need to memorize [a kpop song].
HN: That’s not why. I feel pathetic for not knowing a single kpop song at this age.
JW: Why is that pathetic? It’s not a big deal.
HN: It is. I missed out on a ton of other things. It’s not normal.
JW: (glancing at her)
HN: Why did I live such a foolish life?
JW: You just worked hard.
HN: No, I was just an idiot.
JW: You did your utmost best.
HN: I did my best for no reason and failed.

Obviously, HaNeul felt depressed and blamed herself for her situation. But he wouldn’t let her beat herself up about it. He didn’t want her to judge her actions too harshly, so he tried to get her see the positive side.

JW: Since you’ve hit rock bottom –
HN: (anticipating what he was going to say) I should stay strong?
JW: No. Just stay down.

source: heymeowmao’s tumblr

She stopped in her tracks and looked at him.

JW: Let’s take a break while we’re at rock bottom.

source: heymeowmao’s tumblr

In other words, he wanted them to turn lemons into lemonade. Since both of them were going through a rough patch in their careers, they might as well as take advantage of their hiatus (or unemployment) to rejuvenate.

Overnight, they progressed from accidental classmates to fellow strugglers-in-life. It was on their impromptu beach trip to Sokcho where JungWoo decided to formalize their relationship as a friendship.

They had driven to the beach overnight to see the sunrise but were greeted by cloudy skies instead.

JW: It was too cloudy to see the sunrise.
HN: (apologetic) I’ve never been on a trip, so I didn’t know you had to search the current location. I’m sorry.
JW: That’s okay. We’re still making memories, right?

Aha! Another boyfriend material spotted. Who doesn’t like to have a companion who takes things in stride? JungWoo could have easily scolded HaNeul for not checking the weather at their destination, but again he accentuated the positive. What mattered for him was the journey, not the destination. Never mind the sunrise; they were still making lots of good memories regardless of the sun’s presence at daylight.

HN: (sighing) Having no sunrise reminds me of our lives.
JW: Ha! You’re right. (pausing) Give me your number.
HN: My phone number? Why?
JW: Let’s hang out sometime. Let’s be friends, not classmates. And not the kind who are placed administratively together.

Aha! Again, this is boyfriend material. He remembered every little thing she said.

JW: Let’s willingly befriend each other and become friends. (facing her and offering his hand) HaNeul-ah. Let’s be friends.
HN: Sure, if you want.

Deep inside though she was thinking to herself, “You’re smiling; you seem to be enduring it. But I know you’re actually struggling. But during these hard times, if you have someone who could comfort you, would it help you a little bit better?”

source: shevinyl’s tumblr

I like that HaNeul was giving him the emotional space he wanted. Though she knew he was putting on a happy face, she didn’t pressure him to confide in her. She was willing to wait for him, and to be available when he needed someone to talk to.

HN: (thinking to herself) The sun didn’t rise today. But it will tomorrow.
JW: (thinking to himself) Despite not knowing our futures, we still waited for the sun to rise.

My comments:

a. I find it interesting that these two people who had been so aware of how their brains were reacting to the stimuli of the spicy tteokbokki, and the flashing lights at the arcade didn’t dissect the effect of the ocean waves on their brains.

b. Staring at the infinite open ocean and listening to the rhythmic crashing of waves on the beach can affect the bystander’s brainwaves. He/she is put into a relaxed, meditative state by the sight and sound of the ocean, and the personal anxieties and outward noises are drowned out.

Thus, it wasn’t surprising to me that JungWoo and HaNeul both felt peace while in each other’s company. It was their brains responding to the serenity of the ocean.

c. They both expressed their feeling of safety and comfort in their own way. For HaNeul, the disappointment of missing the sunrise didn’t upset her because she knew they could see it another day.

For JungWoo, the uncertainty of the future didn’t frighten him because he had her, his newly-minted friend, beside him.

d. They had come so far. In the beginning of this episode, JongWoo was blasting HaNeul for ruining his “once peaceful life” and not even asking him if he was okay. He never wanted to “cross paths ever again” with her.

But at the end of the episode, he wanted to meet each other on a regular basis as friends.

Also, Haneul was more perceptive and caring than he gave her credit for. She didn’t need to ask him if he was okay because she knew without him saying a word that he was in great pain. She decided on her own to be a source of comfort for him.

Last, he found peace in her company. It’s a bit ironic, given that he always blamed her for ruining his peaceful high school years. But after meeting her again, he realized that it felt good to have someone as dependable as she was by his side, especially when there was the vast unknown in front of him. After being rivals for so long, nobody knew better than him what a determined and competent fighter she could be.