Episode 5 Title: Go Back ➡️Go Back to You

Though it isn’t difficult to see the theme sprinkled throughout the episode, it’s still good to cite a few examples.

1. SeongHyo (SH) visits SeokRyu (SR) in the US and sleeps overnight in her dorm room after getting drunk. When he wakes up in the morning, the first thought in his head is her silly question the night before.

SR: Now that you’re in the US, what do you want to do the most?
SH: You dummy. Why do you think I’m here?

It’s clear to me that the purpose of his trip is to finally confess his feelings for her. But his plan is derailed by a text message on her phone. It’s a boy named Brian reminding SR of their date that day. Unaware of SH’s romantic intention, she eagerly reveals that she’s dating Brian, an “overseas Korean.” I guess, a Korean-American is considered an “overseas Korean.”

SH realizes then that he got all excited about her hug last night for nothing. She sees him only as a childhood buddy. He goes back to South Korea, empty-handed and heavy-hearted.

To go back, in this sense, means to fly back or return.

2. Fast forward to 2024. SH brings SR to his office to cook their dinner. She trips and lands in his arms. He calls her a “habitual offender” – or a repeat offender. I think he’s teasing her of sexual harassing him – or to be specific, of repeatedly offending him with unwanted/unwelcome physical contact. She bristles at his insinuation.

SR: It was a normal reaction to avoid falling. Habitual offender, my foot.
SH: Then, what was that earlier.

He’s obviously referring to her embrace while they were in Namsan Tower, but he’s remembering the drunken hug she gave him in the US, too. This time, however, he doesn’t want to fall into the trap of reading too much into her “skinship,” so he’s asking her – jokingly – to avoid making the same mistake twice.

She dodges a reply. She proceeds to cook him a wonderful dinner. And for an awkward moment, he chokes on his food when he notices how prettily she looks up at him. Fortunately for him, their friend MoEun (ME) arrives to join them. He offers to go buy them beer.

He hasn’t gone far when he realizes that he forgot his wallet. So he goes back to the office, just in time to overhear SR confess to ME that she’s still in love with her ex-fiancé.

Note for now: her ex-fiancé was also Korean-American. Just like Brian, and her ex-coworker, Chris.

ME: Are you okay now? Have you completely moved on from him?
SR: No. I still love him.

He forces a smile on his face and walks in the room as if he heard nothing. He grabs his wallet, asking them what drink to buy. As he keeps up the conversation, he glances surreptitiously at her phone screen and sees her pre-wedding photo. This confirms that she’s talking about none other than her ex.

To go back, in this scene, can mean two things.

Yes, he goes back to the office, that is, he retraces his steps and returns to the office. But on another level, he goes back in time, relives and remembers the same feeling of helplessness and futility. After all these years, he’s still not the one in her heart.

In my opinion, this second time is worse for him because he has just begun to believe that he has a chance with her.

From Episode 3. The pool scene.

SH: What about you? Hypothetically, let’s say you go back to before you quit, if you go back to Greip, will you go back?
SR: No.
SH: One more, let’s say you go back to before your engagement was broken, what would you do?
SR: No. I wouldn’t go back.
(SR suddenly sinks. If this were the Spanish Inquisition, sinking would have been a dead giveaway that she was lying. Lol.)
SH: Okay, then.

See that? He assumes that a) she has no more feelings for her ex because she said she wouldn’t go back to the engagement, and b) he can finally have the prime real estate in her heart.

3. SR goes back on her word.

Wellllll, look at it this way –

One, she says she doesn’t want to go back to Greip, but she insists on volunteering to be on the Greip architectural project. She definitely hasn’t called it quits yet.

Two, she says she doesn’t want to go back to the time before her engagement was dissolved, but she hasn’t deleted the engagement photos on her phone, and she still loves her ex.

In this sense, to go back means to retract, rethink, reconsider, change her mind…and forestall.

4. As for the “Go Back to You” aspect of the theme, the mothers’ prayers for their adult children display it.

SH’s mother writes in French, “Let my son forget that memory. Let me reconcile with him.” She believes that if SH forgets an unfortunate incident in the past (hmmm…did he witness her cheating on his dad when he was a kid?), then their relationship may improve. It’s interesting that she doesn’t ask for forgiveness, just an erasure from memory.

It’s also interesting that she actually doesn’t like their current state of estrangement. I thought it didn’t bother her much because she could simply compartmentalize family issues from professional matters and deal with them individually as problems arise.

For her, to go back means to restore to a happier, more perfect, idyllic time.

As for SR’s mother, she asks that SR “Return to Original State.” Her petition is so ambiguous that I hope she doesn’t become disappointed again should the “Original State” be something unexpected or something she didn’t bargain for.

In this sense, to go back means to change her current life trajectory, be more faithful to her real self, and live more authentically, happily. Of course, this applies not only to her future career, but also to her love life. I can’t help speculating that she’s been dating Korean-American men because of her unconscious/undiscovered/unrealized feelings for SH. She’s been looking for a “SH replacement” in the wrong places.

5. Also, the ex-girlfriend of SH. She definitely wants to go back to SH.

6. And now, the onggi symbolism.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Let me continue this later. I’ve developed a headache.