This first episode lends itself to discussion on the meaning of a happy marriage. For BODers, this episode is up our alley since most of us are married.

We learn that female lead, HaeSook (HS), has been taking care of her paraplegic husband for practically all their married life. Sixty years. We can romanticize the marital situation, and say, “Awww. That’s true love for you! Until death do you part!” But there are instances that make you wonder, is it truly love or just fairy tale love or just acceptance or just friendship or just waiting-for-death-in-a-most-positive-way-possible?

For instance, upon arriving home from work, HS and NakJoon (NJ) coo at each other like newly married couple. Their love talk is so cringey that HS’ adopted daughter reaches for a frying pan to smack herself unconscious. But as it turns out, this light-hearted banter is a form of coping mechanism for her. She confesses as much to the family cat, her emotional-support pet.

HS: I know he’s just teasing me and joking around. A long time ago, he pranked me all the time. Do you know he used to put gochujang on his finger and pretend that it was cut? But then one day, he really had gotten into an accident. It would’ve been tough to think I was taking care of a sick person. So, I decided that he was just pulling one of his pranks on me this whole entire time. Thinking that way helps a lot.

And that’s what I mean by fairy tale love.

Unlike most marriages that evolve after squabbling and reconciling, their marriage has an arrested development. It stopped growing after his accident when they tacitly agreed to keep things light and easy between them in order not to burden each other even more. I find it sad that she can’t even share with him the daily tribulations of being a debt collector. He thinks that she brings her umbrella daily in case it rains; he doesn’t know she carries it for protection, like a shield from angry debtors. I think it’s ironic that he – who only ever showers her with compliments and praises – doesn’t even know how much she is showered with bucket of water, fish, and curses outside their home. He still regards her as a sweet, soft-spoken 20-something year old that he married because she’s great at playing the innocent girl. She may not be a loan shark in the strictest sense (e.g., I don’t think she charges), but she is as ruthless and callous as one when she collects her payment from a delinquent debtor.

To me, HS and NJ have a happily-ever-after ending because they work hard at keeping the pretense of happily-ever-after – which I guess could be seen as one advice to a successful marriage: fake it till you make it.

I also mentioned the trumpet creeper vine in a comment in the WAWW thread. I wrote:

the flower (trumpet creeper) that HaeSook bought and placed in her husband’s bedroom is said to mean resilience, determination (or “waiting” according to one facebook account). While the husband was alive, she kept it alive and well. It was a hardy plant, just like their marriage. They were determined to make the most of their married life despite his long-term disability. A great sense of humor kept them resilient. But after his death, she let the flower die. And she began to wait for her own death, as if she had lost her resolve, her determination to live.

I should have continued to say that, while others may find this romantic, I find it a sad indictment of her perceived role in life. She only sees herself as a caregiver of NJ, duty-bound to care for his well-being and nurse him for life. There was one scene when she nags him to take his medicine. This is one of the “real-est” conversations they have together.

HS: You’ve been taking this medicine your whole life, but you always do this.
NJ: I’ve been on them my whole life. I’d like to stop taking them now. That’s why. I don’t think those meds are going to suddenly make my legs start moving again. I…had a good life thanks to you, dear. Cutting expenses is the least I can do.
HS: You think I do this just for your legs? It’s to prevent diseases I’ll have to address in our later years.
NJ: Don’t you worry. I’ll stay healthy for as long as I can to save you any trouble. And when it’s time to go, I’ll do it quietly.
HS: Yes, you better. If not, I’ll follow you and talk your ears off.

Yes, the imbalance in their marriage, the one-sidedness of it, is very palpable. But I don’t think HS is aware that her husband is the one debtor in her life whose insurmountable debt she pays no heed.

Anyway, I think their afterlife together is when they start living like a true married couple and ironing out the kinks.

Tell me what you think. Have to leave for the beach house shortly. Will  add the OST later.