I’ve been exchanging a couple of interesting post with winterose96 and I think I should elevate it to “Bitch Talk” because I’m sure she’s NOT the only one feeling that OG’s failure to disclose the truth about the Death/Love Bell cause SunMi to choose the coffin.
Let’s start with winterose96 first post:
Hi
Just want to tell you that this whole scenario of Sunmi being locked in a coffin, could have been avoided if Son Oh Gong told Sunmi the truth about the deathbell. It is frustrating that although he loves her he doesn’t confide in her.
Sunmi, however, is more honest to him rather than he is to her. I hope that she will soon tell him not to keep secrets, especially if it means it can endanger both of them.
Anyways what I’m trying to say that he too is to be blamed.
Can you give me an answer to why he didn’t tell her?
Hopefully, he will learn that keeping the truth from her is a bad idea.
That’s all!
My response:
Ah! That “She should have been told” defense. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work here.
My short answer: Rewatch Episode 11. His reason for not telling her was first established there. The Hong sisters covered their bases.
My long answer: Coming soon on Bitch Talk…if I feel like it. lol. I realize that some people won’t get this but I’m hoping that my readers are smart enough to connect-the-dots on their own. As much as it is frustrating for YOU that he didn’t tell SunMi about the DeathBell, he was only following SunMi’s request and adhering to her avoidance of sad truths.
Personally, if I were OG, I would have told SunMi the stinking truth even though she – as Jack Nicholson would say – couldn’t handle the truth. But I’m also a bitch.
Take it from me. You should be grateful that OG was much kinder with her and took on the burden of HER delusions. Really?? Was she some teenager who needed Love Bells to validate and justify her love?? What kind of love is that?
Again, if I were OG, I’d find her belief in those Love Bells demeaning at best and insulting at worst. I’d tell her to get her effing head out of the clouds and deal with our love as OUR reality and not some fairy tale to be dictated by an “unseen” Great Author in the heavens named “Fate.” pwahahahaha.
Then Winterose96 wrote back. BTW, winterose96, do not EVER feel like you have to apologize for 1) your English and 2) rambling in this blog. I don’t speak any language other than English so you’re already ahead of me here. Also I happen to like ramblings and chatty people. Who cares about staying on topic? That “stay on topic” rule was imposed in sites like soompi to avoid the discussions turning into catfights. But we’re already self-avowed bitches so we’re pro at catfights. lol.
Hi
It’s me again. In a way, I can understand why you don’t like the main heroine. By the way, have seen the drama “Heartless City”/ “Cruel City”? The main heroine there is absolutely the worst.
Okay, back to Hwayugi while it is true that Sunmi follows her heart rather than her brain. At least she isn’t the worst heroine like the one from the “Jugglers”, or help me the one from “Bad Guys”. But neither is she the best if anything she falls somewhere in the middle.
Which is a shame because if I were the writer and the director, I would have changed her character. She can still be a compassionate person that’s fine but she would be at least have intelligence. After all, how did she survive through all these years?
I’m actually surprised that she is so naive, it doesn’t make sense to me. Trust me I know & meet people that had tough upbringing such as no parents, lonely life etc. And I, in fact, live a rather lonely life and I have to say that not me or other people behave the way she does. If anything we’re either bitter, paranoid, have trust issues, you get the point.
Okay, I feel like I lost my point somewhere through my rambling post.
Sorry (English is not my first language)
See ya!
Here was my reply.
Hey…come back! You weren’t rambling. Lol.
I can tolerate SM’s meekness, non-aggression, and passivity because I understand that those qualities belong to the monk SamJang whose nobleness she must carry on too. But what I can’t tolerate about SM is her dependence on superstitions and fate to determine her love or to validate her love. THAT is stupid and juvenile.
To me, blaming OG for keeping her in the dark is the superficial understanding of the cause of their trouble. It has little to do with “trust issues.” He could have told her the truth about the Death Bell two days prior the <s>Wedding</s> Coffin Day or two hours or two minutes; her reaction would have been the same: It’s the Death Bell!!!!!!! and I can’t love youuuuuu!
THAT is the root cause of their problem. Her overriding belief in fate. How far was she going to allow an outside force determine her life? I keep on saying this: it’s Fate versus Destiny.
Look at OG. He has already “self-determined”. He made his own choice. He decided that the GGG didn’t matter anymore because he WILLED that he was going to wear it. He said, “This is my will.” Meaning, the stupid capricious gods have no control over him any more. He isn’t going to sit and wait at the gods to toss shit at him. He’s going to be proactive because he loves her.
Do you see now why SunMi’s love seems weak in comparison to OG’s love? He’s willing to fight for her, but she isn’t. She is letting the Fate determine whether her love should exist or not. 😂
To simplify it for you, what if you’re 35 years old, a president of your own business, healthy and emotionally stable. You’re dating this wonderful guy who loves you so much that he’ll willingly leave his high-paying job at Amazon.com and follow you anywhere. When he proposes, instead of saying yes, you tell him, “Wait! I have to consult the fortune teller to see if our marriage is fortuitous. We have to be a match made in heaven. Because I don’t want to bring you bad luck in the future.”
😤😖😱What the hell??
THAT is what SunMi is doing here.
Edited to add this: Or what if you’re 35 years old female diagnosed with schizophrenia. You love your husband dearly but you also know that he’s probably better off without you. What do you do?
http://www.calgaryherald.com/health/Marriage+Test+stick+around+when+your+partner+schizophrenia/9504098/story.html
To me it’s very clear that SunMi should be adult enough to CHOOSE to make their love life fruitful and happy. It’s burdensome and unfair to her partner that HE’s the only one willing to make their marriage work come hell or high water. She’s still dithering.
And no, I disagree. Compared to the heroine in Jugglers, who I found very charming, SunMi is woefully lacking in courage to pursue a mature love. The heroine in Jugglers knew who she wanted and she declared she would love him no matter what. She would – and DID – stick to him like glue whereas here we still see OG begging SunMi to hold onto him tightly. As I see it, RIGHT NOW, as SunMi stands, I don’t want her married to OG until she grows a backbone.
My two cents.
***
One last other thing. One of the reasons I loved Jugglers is that the concept of soulmates was never pushed onto the viewers. I think kdrama writers should stop romanticizing this soulmates pablum because they’re damaging to impressionable viewers. Among young people, for instance, there’s a certain expectation that soulmates have it so much better. Why? because you understand each other perfectly well when the other person is a replica of you. Also, because you would have little differences or conflicts to fight about when you think and feel alike.
To me, this “soulmates” theory actually imposes an UNREASONABLE expectation of what couplehood and marriage truly are.
For one, the “similarity” or sameness of personalities do not guarantee that a couple will live to see their 25th or 50th wedding anniversary. On the contrary, it’s the COMPATIBILITY. A couple may be different from each other but if their values and personalities fit or complement each other, then they can weather the storms together.
For another, troubles inevitable crop up in marriages that will test a couple’s resolve to carry on. Instead of a soulmate, it’s infinitely preferable to find a devoted partner who’ll stick till the end and fight for the relationship. There’s a million of stars up in the night sky but somebody who thinks you’re his fated star can easily leave you and look for another rising star in the horizon. But somebody who has made you his personal choice will remain with you through the long haul because he’s committed.
That’s why I say it’s better to focus on searching for and being a life partner than a soulmate.