This is a very short episode for highlights but it’s a long read because I typed the complete NetEase texts to give us the backdrop of his cluelessness and her excitement.

I had vicarious thrill watching our couple connect through social media.

1. Social media newbie

On the eve of his trip to Norway, Shangyan is figuring out how to sign in on NetEase. (haha! I’m with him. I find social media registration stressful but I’m not a techie.)

Remember: back in Episode 4, he overheard that Nian was a network singer on NetEase. Here’s that conversation to jog our memory.

Nian: Me? I… guess I’m considered a network singer.
Kids 1 and 2: Whoa! I know what that is. Really? My classmate from before was one, too. It’s very popular nowadays. Really?!
Shangyan gets irritated with their noise but he just pulls out his phone and starts checking his messages.
Kid 1: Sister-in-law, where can I search for you songs?
Nian: You guys can go to NetEase Music and search “Little Squid.” That’s my name.
Kids 1 and 2: Okay. Let’s search for it.
Kid 1: Boss, are you searching for it, too?
Shangyan gives him the death stare and shows him his cellphone. He’d been checking his emails. Meanwhile, Kid 2 is amazed at the internet search.
Kid 2: Holy cow! A NetEase artist! So many fans. (She has over a million fans)

Now, here’s Shangyan on the eve of an important trip to Norway for a K&K tournament and he’s trying to figure out how to maintain contact with his fake-girlfriend.

Can’t this all wait?  Methinks he’s in love.

The registration looks complicated so he calls for help from the youngest kid on the team, 97. He scares the bejeesus out of the poor kid. 97 thinks he’s done something wrong and hesitates to enter his room.

Goodness me! Can’t he smile?

But Shangyan gets straight to the point.

SY: Do you know how to register for this?
97: NetEase Music? Of course I know.
SY: (mumbling) Help me register.

lol. He’s embarrassed of course. He’s not embarrassed that he’s a doofus and can’t self-register. He’s embarrassed because he WANTS to register but is trying to keep it cool.

See? If it wasn’t for Nian, he wouldn’t be doing this at all. But without a word from her, he decides on his own to connect with her while he’s out of the country.

97: Huh? You want to register? (SY hands him the phone) Really? What do you want to be called? Han Shangyan, Gun, or GN? Tell me.

SY just looks away. To me, he appears sheepish as if he can’t believe he’s doing this!

97: Hey, do you want to apply for verification. If you do, I’ll fill in the forms for you.

Explanation for social media dummies from another social media dummy like me: Applying for verification means showing a proof of identity that you are who you say you are online. It’s that extra step in registration. lol

97: Boss, you finally got it. This is awesome, really. Boss, if people find out you have a NetEase Music account, it’ll really be a big news. Let me tell you. You’ll definitely be the face of K&K. But Boss, you’re tone-deaf. Why are you signing up for this in the first place?SY: I told you to register an account. Why do you talk so much?

hahaha. For SY, the best defense really is offense.

97: I’m just excited. Here you go.

He scrolls through it…

He’s looking for “Little Squid” account. See that? He remembered her name even when he pretended that he was busy checking his email messages. That pretender!

He leaves a message for her.

“For the next days, I won’t be in the country. This is my phone number: 19400990+your house number. GN”

Of course, his message on a public forum creates a stir. I think he sees the barrage of texts after he texted so he turns to 97 again.

SY: How do you normally use this? Do you just comment?
97: Yeah. If you know someone on NetEase Music, the private messages (PMs) are convenient to use, too.

Whoops!

Here’s the screenshot of the Best Supporting Actor in this Chinese drama, His Scowl.

SY: Then why didn’t you say so sooner?

97: You didn’t ask me!! (well SY had no comeback for that) Boss, I’m telling you. You can follow Sister-in-law, look. (gets up and grabs SY’s phone from his hand) After following, you can see “activity.” It’s just like “Moments.”

I really should laugh because I’m in the same boat. I don’t have WeChat, Weibo, Facebook and I’ve 0 post, 0 followers and 0 following on Instagram. Shangyan’s lucky to have 97 to explain the site for him.

97: “Like” if she posted a new song or traveled somewhere. She’ll post and you can see.
SY: (taking his phone from 97) I know. Now you can go off to bed.

He waits till 97 is out of the room, then he goes to Little Squid’s account and clicks on “Follow.”

He’s very pleased with himself after that. Yes! He’s done it! Mission accomplished! What a feat!

This calls for a fist bump!

However, the irony here…in case you didn’t get it yet…the irony here is

Shangyang is the guy who’s considered a living legend among cyberhackers and plans to lead his team to win the global tournament on cyberhacking.

Uhhh… how is it realistic that he can’t register an account on NetEase?

It’s like Alan Greenspan, the former chair of the Federal Reserves, bombing the Math portion of the SATs.

But okay, I get the point. He’s falling in love and he’s dumber than a 21-year old child.

2. Meanwhile…

On the other side of the city, Nian was with her friend Mei Mei.

Mei’s filling Nian in on Shangyan. “My husband said that Gun God is extremely ill-tempered, but his character is good. You can snatch the opportunity and try it out. For people like him with a good character, snatching one is really great. They’re a rare species.”

Nian just listens as she tries on Shangyan’s necklace. I’m sure she’s thinking that she’s already snatched Gun God so her friend is needlessly worrying about her romance.

In a bit, she asks Mei if her husband has seen Han Shangyan compete live. She would have wanted to watch him compete live, too. Mei replies yes. Her husband is a hardcore fan of Shangyan although he doesn’t have his autograph and picture. Shangyan is notoriously known to dislike having his picture taken and he only shows his face in group shots.

Nian: Does he have female fans?
Mei: Yes, but not as many as you think. CTF wasn’t that popular back then.

In a pensive mood, Nian then posts on her NetEase account, “When you were eleven, what were you all doing? Suddenly, feeling so sentimental. I only knew how to hide the test paper in my backpack and somebody was already a champion.”

Here, she’s comparing herself with Shangyan. To her, he already has a ten-year head start on him. I’m sure it would have been nicer if they started together and had been competing with each other, right? But being 10 years younger than him has an advantage, too.

She presses send.

Beside her, Mei received her text notification right away.

Mei: (teasingly) Someone’s in love!
Nian: What are you talking about? I’m feeling sentimental, okay?
Mei: Sentimental? Look! Look! You’re blushing! You’re blushing!
Nian: No, I’m not.

This is funny because you can see the difference between Shangyan and 97’s interaction, and Nian and Mei’s sisterhood. Nian is getting lots of love not only from Nian but also her social media followers. Her post instantly receives a ton of resplies.

But it’s also funny how the conversation on her Original Post quickly escalates and becomes a fanwar. Sigh! People are easily triggered. I saw this kind of fight break out on Guigui’s Facebook and Weibo accounts and it was unnecessary. (Guigui is the virtual wife of 2PM’s Taecyeon.)

Anyway, here are the texts from Nian’s fans. This is to give you context.

The texts start out light and encouraging.

Who stole our adorable Her Highness Squid away?
Meow, Little Squid is too cute! Momoda. She hid her test paper in her backpack, so cute!
When I was 11, I read martial arts novel in class every day. I imagined myself as a hero.
Your Highness Squid, don’t worry. When you were 11, you only knew how to hide your test paper, but by 19, you were already in the second year of graduate school. (Awww. Another supportive fan!)
11? At eleven I was still playing with mud.
At age 11, I was in the fifth grade and ranked first in my class. (There’s one like this, isn’t it? A show-off)
At age 11, I was the tallest in my class. I was already learning how to play basketball.
Now, I’m 21. Every day, I dream of Little Squid becoming my wife. (There’s always one fan like this. Get a life, dude!)
I discovered something important. Who is this person (posting that)? ↑ Our Her Highness Squid must be conflicted (meaning she’ll feel bothered by such a post).

I’ve a feeling that this last poster has stalked the previous poster’s account to check who he was that he could contemplate marrying Little Squid. This stalking and fake outrage can often move the topic of conversation to Hot Topic. A single post can be misconstrued and suddenly the intention of the Original Post has been sidetrack.

Who is this person?
Wait…who’s this person?
What? A person?
No, Your Highness, you cannot date. No one is good enough for you.
Who’s this person.

And right smack dab in the middle of this confusion, when the posters in Nian’s account are ganging on this mysterious period who dreamt of making Nian his wife, Shangyan’s message gets posted.

For the next few days, I won’t be in the country. This is my phone number: 19400990+your house number. GN

Do you see it? Talk about adding fuel to the fire! His message (which he didn’t know could have been sent in privately) causes a meltdown in the public forum.

What’s going on right now?
What happened?
Is someone going to do something?
Hey, Previous poster (referring to Shangyan). How come you have Little Squid’s house number? Don’t pretend, okay?

hahaha. Nian’s site breaks down in utter chaos because of Shangyan’s post. Posters are jumping to weird conclusions and making up conspiracies. This is one way fake news start.

What happened? What’s going on right now?
Is Little Squid going to be kidnapped?
What are you leaving your number for? You want Little Squid to call you?
Previous poster, who are you?
Who’s the Previous poster?
Just who is he/she?

lol. Remember now: Shangyan is reading these texts too. He asks 97 belatedly, “How do you normally use this? Do you just comment?” He’s told that if he knows someone on NetEase, he can send a private message. Annoyed, he asks 97 why he wasn’t told of this earlier.

But while he’s being annoyed, Nian sees Shangyan’s text and she sits up in shock…and joy.

Mei: What is it?
Nian: Han Shangyan?! Han Shangyan left a reply.

Mei: (lol. She’s been reading the texts, too) Where? Which one is Han Shangyan? How come I didn’t see it?
Nian: That one, GN! GN. GN. Do you see it?
Mei: GN is Han Shangyan? He uses NetEase Music? I thought he only had CDTF in his brain!
Nian: He uses a new account to leave me a message! He created a new account!
Mei: Wow! Using this method to leave replies…Oh my gosh! My teenager girl heart is going to explode.

hahaha. This is sooo funny. The friend’s having a second-hand FEELS. However, she thinks that Shangyan wants to make a public declaration of their relationship when actually he only made a mistake.

Nian: I need to follow first, right?

And she clicks follow.

I don’t think she’s even spared her fans a thought. She didn’t expect her fans to get heartbroken. Good for her!

Did I see wrong? Little Squid followed a new account!
An account with no profile picture? (This would be me. I don’t have a profile picture too on twitter.)
Little Squid, when can you follow me?
Why? Why would Little Squid follow him?
I also want to be followed by Little Squid!
Little Squid, I’ve followed you for a long time now. Could you follow me back? (Guilt-trippers! I love them.)
Little Squid, be careful of bad guys!
Your Highness Squid, he/she has no profile picture. Be careful!
Little Squid followed an account with no profile picture? This can’t do. I’ve to follow him/her too. I’ll definitely be able to determine their relationship. (Stalker alert. What good will it do him anyway to ascertain Nian’s relationship?)

Nian is giggling as she reads her text. Mei teases her.

Mei: You’re Han Shangyan’s girlfriend for real now. Just following and leaving a number. Are you really that happy?
Nian: Hey don’t say. I already told you I’m not his real girlfriend.
Mei: Won’t you slowly become a real one? Feelings! Just nurture them and they will flourish. (Meaning, it’s about feelings developing between them.)
Nian: (squawking) Look! He followed back, right?

Here, I think she followed him FIRST only because Shangyan waited for 97 to leave his room. He would have followed her FIRST had he clicked on “Follow” right away. But the point here is they’re on the same wavelengths. She’s more open and effusive about liking him while he’s more restrained and has to keep it hidden in front of 97.

Mei: Yes!
Nian: We now follow each other, right?
Mei: Great!

Don’t you just love that smile on this girl? If Shangyan makes me frown everytime I see him frowning, Nian makes me grin when she’s beaming like this.

She’s so excited that she goes off to call him. She calls him in her bathroom for privacy. lol.

3. Calling him up

He’s already fast asleep when she calls him up.

Nian: Hello? Is this Han Shangyan? (he covers his head) Uhhhh. Hello…. Is this Han Shangyan’s cellphone? Or did I call the wrong person?
SY: (half-asleep) Tong Nian?

Nian: Han Shangyan! It’s me. Are you sleeping.
SY: (rasping) I’m going to Norway tomorrow morning.
Nian: You’re going to Norway tomorrow morning?
SY: (he’s still half-asleep) My plane ride back is March 2nd at 4:20 pm.
Nian: I got it.

She thinks he told her his flight plans so she could pick her up. But I think he’s just sleep-talking. Kinda like me My husband teases me tha truth-serum or torture isn’t necessary to get info from me. Just let me sleep then start asking me questions. (Or tickle me. I’m also ticklish.)

SY: We’ll talk when I get back.
Nian: Okay, okay. (he puts the phone beside his pillow without disconnecting) Then, are you going to go back to sleep? (he snuggles his head into his pillow) Should I… be hanging up now or not hanging up?

Nian: (keeps talking although he’s not answering anymore) Then, I’ll hang up. You…goodnight. Sweet dreams. Bye-bye!

She hangs up and squeals.

I’m sure some people would find it rude that he just dozed off on her like that. But the point here was he didn’t hang up on her. He was crazy-sleepy but he didn’t have the heart to tell her to leave him alone so he could continue sleeping. Instead, he listened to her voice and he let her talk on until she figured he was asleep.

In contrast, when his stepmother calls him up in Norway, he rudely hung up on her. He wanted to keep their conversation short and on point.

As soon as she began chatting, he cut her off.

hahaha. His annoyed face cracks me up.

So there you go. These are the highlight of this episode for me.

There are little things, (i.e., trip to Norway, his birthday is on Valentine’s Day, Nian tries to call him on birthday) but you can go ahead watch it yourself. Avoid the flashback if you want.