“Who am I? I want to know where I came from and where I’m headed…. Eun Dan Oh. For the first time, I heard my voice.”
1. Haru’s beginnings
He first appears outside the closed gates of the school. He takes in the sunshine as if it’s his first time feeling it. He wonders, “Who am I?”
Next, he sits by the window and observes at scar on his hand. He contemplates, “I want to know where I came from and where I’m headed.”
He walks between the aisle in the library, touching books. He sees the book “Secret” floating on the shelf. He sees the characters, but his eyes gravitate to the drawing of a minor character at the corner of the book. Eun Dan Oh. It describes her as “female, 18 years old. Baek Kyung’s fiancée. Her body is weak due to a heart condition.” He looks at the shelf again, and sees a black hole, just like DanOh did previously.
Next, he regards his hand again in sunlight. He raises the scar to block the glare. He sees the blackhole floating in space. He’s astounded that no one else seems to notice the blackhole. Except for a girl standing on the skywalk. He stares at her.
Next, he’s walking toward her in class. She’s sitting beside the window, with her eyes closed. She seems to be enjoying the soft breeze and sunlight coming through the window.
He approaches her and calls her name, “Eun Dan Oh.” She startles and comes out of her daydream. She doesn’t see him beside her.
But his vision of her is slightly distorted. She looks hazy; her outline a bit blurry, fuzzy.
He thinks, “For the first time, I heard my voice.” He practices saying sounds then observes her talking to her classmates. Her nametag shows her name and he discovers that she’s the Eun Dan Oh in the book. He looks at his nametag but there’s no name on it. He thinks again, “How do I know that girl’s name when I don’t even know my name?”
Note: Her face in the cartoon is different from her face in real life. His sketches of her are more life-like. That’s why he’s surprised that he instinctively knew to call her Eun Dan Oh.
Then, there’s a flash of his accidental meeting with her on the stairs. He protects her head with his arm. He thinks, “Why do I only have my eyes on you?” And he remembers running to save her in dodgeball and again he protects her head with his arm. “I don’t even know who I am.”
Next scene, he’s looking at his sketches of her taped on the wall. “Tell me why it’s you.”
Then, there’s Kyung shouting at DanOh in the pouring rain. (This is from Episode 8.) DanOh was sitting, ironically enough, at an amphitheater and studying her heart monitor. She should have been in the “shadow” but her “Stage” starts as soon as she clutches her chest in pain. (lol. Like a bad soap opera.)
Stage:
Kyung: You must be happy that everything goes your way.
DanOh: I don’t feel like arguing with you now. Give that back to me.
Kyung: Why didn’t you come last night?
DanOh: (even in a situation like this, I can’t avoid the stage) Just because.
Kyung: Just because? (he throws her heart monitor and stomps on it)
DanOh: What are you doing?
Kyung: You. You are provoking me. Just stick to that faithful concept. (meaning, her suffering+loving+unrequited love image) Instead of starting this bullcrap.
It starts to rain. This conversation is interesting. Kyung could have been projecting the writer’s thoughts here. The writer could have been telling DanOh to stop messing around with the storyboard that she/he wrote for her minor character, and that she should stick to the character set-up.
Kyung: You’ve lived your entire life getting whatever you’ve wanted, right? If you said you were sick everyone did everything for you, and got you everything you wanted.
DanOh: Watch your mouth.
Kyung: With that incredible heart disease of yours, you pout whenever and pass out wherever, yet you don’t die ever.
Kyung is accusing her of over-acting because she hasn’t died yet. He’s suddenly grabbed and punched by Haru. DanOh gasps.
Haru: Let’s go. Eun Dan Oh.
He grabs her hand to take her away. Kyung shouts, “What are you?” and he answers, “You won’t remember even if I tell you. Because the scene is changing soon.”
Note this: Aren’t we supposed to be on “Stage”? When did this become a “shadow”? How is he able to jump in the picture and rescue DanOh? He even tells Kyung that this whole scene is about to change soon when they’re in a “Stage”?
That’s why I said that Haru isn’t just self-aware, but he can actually override the writer and change the story himself.
And that’s why Kyung is confused. On his way back from the amphitheater, Dohwa meets him and remarks his wet clothes when his surroundings are dry. Kyung answered that Eun Dan Oh was definitely there, too. Dohwa glibly tells him that, “Are you the same as Eun Dan Oh, who’s self-aware? You don’t even notice that it’s strange.” He then encourages to bear it for a little more because he’ll dry up soon when the scene changes again.
See that? If DanOh and Kyung had been arguing in the “Stage,” then according to the world of the manhwa, Haru shouldn’t have been able to a) punch him like that, b) inform about the scene changing and c) leave with DanOh. Haru’s behavior greatly disrupts the writer’s narrative and the writer won’t tolerate that for a second. He/she would have immediately rebooted the story and set them back into their proper places, like she did when DanOh threw the bust in frustration. Remember that?
But in this amphitheater scene, DanOh and Haru are able to leave Kyung behind and Kyung comes back all wet. His drenched appearance is proof that the “Stage” didn’t turn off for the three of them because all the others have become dry.
Meanwhile, DanOh excitedly asks Haru for clarification.
DO: I heard you correctly, right? It doesn’t make sense, but I wish it did. Do you remember me?
HR: (nods)
DO: Since when?
HR: I’m not really sure. But I know it started because of you. Eun Dan Oh.
To me, Haru sounds reticent to answer her questions. She drags him to the library and confirms that he’s experiencing the same weird phenomenon that she and Dohwa have been going through. He confirms it and adds, “You’re right. I remember all the moments that we’ve shared together.”
In the kitchen, the Squid fairy must have known about the shift in dynamics because he’s glaring at Haru’s sketch of DanOh.
DoHwa comes in and borrows the book. He brings up the Stage/Shadow differences again. He can talk to his crush, JooDa, in the “shadow” but once the Stage starts, she forgets everything their conversation. The Squid fairy reiterates that the Writer doesn’t want him to confess so she/he erases everything when the Stage starts.
However, this isn’t what happened to DanOh when she encounters Kyung in their next Stage. Kyung gives her a heart monitor as replacement for the one he threw and stomped on.
2. Kyung and DanOh’s break-up
Kyung: Eun Dan Oh! That this as my apology.
DO: It’s fine.
Kyung: I said to take it.
DO: No, it’s over now.
And look here: for a second, DanOh’s image is blurred, filtered. Look at her ears.
I think this is point of divergence. According to the Squid guy, the writer can erase everything that happened in the “shadows” and force the characters to return to their original set-up on Stage. But this time, DanOh doesn’t revert to her normal “faithful concept.” The writer can’t control her anymore from this point on.
Kyung: What?
DO: I want to stop liking you.
Notice that? She’s focused now.
DO: (continuing) You said you hate girls who are ill and that it’s annoying.
Kyung: Hey, that’s because –
DO: Don’t worry. This won’t affect your dad’s business.
Kyung: (shouting) Eun Dan Oh!
DO: One-sided love is not just difficult for the person who does it. It’s also difficult for the person who can’t accept it. I’m sorry for everything. From today onward, our engagement’s off.
The Stage ends and she’s excited that she can express her feelings like that. She notices the bruise on Kyung’s lip and asks if he’s okay. She knows it’s all fake, but it should sting just the name. While she calls him a jerk, nevertheless she’ll accept his apology. She leaves with a flounce and bumps the heart monitor. He chases her and grabs her wrist.
He orders her to take back what she said, but when she asks, “about what?” he can’t answer and looks confused again. Later, she looks at her wrist as if she’s remembering something odd about the way he grabbed her.
To me, he wants her to retract what she said about not liking him anymore.
But remember In Episode 1, when he told her, in the shadows, that having a one-sided crush makes the object of her infatuation tired. On Stage, too, he told her, “I hate girls who are ill. It’s annoying. Do I need to tell you again? You’re just wasting your time on this one-sided crush. Your past, present and future. I would never like a girl like you.”
That’s his set-up.
I think he felt bothered that she was ending her one-sided infatuation with him, but he was confused as to why he felt that way. He’d always disliked her one-sided crush on him for its nuisance value.
To me, DanOh rubs her wrist because she doesn’t understand why he would be angry with her for ending her one-sided crush as he hoped she’d do.
3. Kyung’s anger and Haru’s kindness
Kyung’s angry about his break-up and takes it out on a classmate. He’s about to punch a window, too in anger when Haru blocked his arm.
Haru: Don’t do this. You’ll get hurt.
Kyung: (grabs his collar) Why does it matter to you whether I get hurt or not?
Haru: It looks like it’ll hurt (removing Kyung’s hold on him) and I feel sorry for you.
He bumps Kyung’s shoulder on the way out. His shoulder-check was telling.
No guy would want to be the object of somebody else’s pity. I think if I were Kyung, I’d much rather bear the physical pain from a bloodied hand than be told that I look pitiful.
But to me, Haru has multiple meanings there. First, he feels bad to see Kyung hurt because of his reckless temper. Second, he feels pity because Kyung isn’t aware that he’s doing all these useless things in a manhwa. Third, he feels contempt because Kyung’s raising a fuss now after losing DanOh, when he could have treated her better before.
Fourth and last, he feels sorry for him maybe because he’s been in this situation before. Although he can’t exactly remember when, where or how, it’s possible that he’s been in Kyung’s shoes before, in another world, in another time. That mysterious scar on his right hand could very well have been from an angry display of frustration. Subconsciously, he knows what it feels like to be rejected by DanOh so he’s commiserating with Kyung. lol.
The point here is he’s different when dealing with Kyung and DoHwa. Although he claims to have amnesia of their past, he sees Kyung as a natural rival for DanOh whereas he sees DoHwa as her harmless friend.
That’s why when DanOh explains to him about DoHwa’s unfortunate role as a second lead male, he looked at DoHwa pityingly and told him “Stay strong.” That’s how he should have behaved when he told Kyung that he felt sorry for him HAD he been sincere.
4. His and Hers reactions
That night, in her room DanOh is swooning over Haru’s pictures and cringing at that time at the beach outing when she closed her eyes in preparation to receive a kiss from him.
In the library, Haru is reading through the manhwa then he starts remembering the times he’s spent with DanOh off-stage.
His memories are all connected with the red flowers. Their first meeting when she was holding the flowery umbrella that she retrieved by the flower arbor.
The time when Kyung stepped on the floral keychain. Was he there to witness this?
The time in the lab when she told him to change their fate together, and the flowers bloomed.
The time they discovered the hidden vintage ornament with the red flowers
He dropped it because it became too painful to hold.
The night in the hidden waterfall.
He asks again, “I want to know why it’s you” and he looks at the drawings he posted on the wall.
Compared to DanOh, he’s more serious about his attachment to her. He’s not only self-aware but he already senses a primordial link to her that she hasn’t felt yet.
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To be continued…
Small correction: I think you mean 1. Haru’s Beginning not Nok Du.
whoops! Did I write Nokdu??? lol. Let me edit it now.
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Done. Thanks.
I am leaning to think that DanOh willed him into existence? He was just a faceless extra until she willed him into existence in the Secret stage (he started to have a face). Then he started to mess with the story (you will see this play out in the ep where there are comic strip pages interspersed between scenes as if they were rewriting the whole comic real time). His disappearance later and reappearance again seemed to be the writer’s way of reining him back into line. So instead of being an extra with no face originally and no name (and therefore outside the writer’s control), the writer rewrote him back into the story as an extra with a name and a face. Someone he/she could now control (like DanOh). Unfortunately Haru ends up gaining self awareness despite initially being “rebooted and wiped clean”. Some of the characters in Secret have moments of Dejavu from being in a past story together (the Flower comic) so they have moments of connectedness. I think the strongest being DanOh and Haru because of the Trumpet Flower and perhaps a promise they made before? Hence the portals linking them between the Secret Universe and the Flower Universe.
Exactly how I think of it @nrlee.
Do you think Haru gained self-awareness in Flower and that’s why he is able to remember events there? Nobody else does and maybe they never do. They retain their personalities and feelings but not their memories.
But thecharacters that become self-aware in this book have a chance in their next character reincarnation to remember each other? I think that would bode well for the ending. It’s always a problem when writers use a reincarnation ending because the characters dont remember each other so it’s sad and anticlimactic.
But the writers could get around that for this ending. If Dan Oh does indeed die in this comic life, she can be reborn in the next and she and Haru fully remember each other. Also her dad. Remember at the beginning he promises to be reborn as her dad again? That was quite touching – I hope it happens and she remembers.
But didnt Danoh learned that Haru can change a Stage that’s why she keeps on finding him to change her faith? That’s the whole point of finding Haru to begin with so Haru has always had that unique ability.
Danoh has really no memories from her past. Even the keychain she offered to Baek Kyung, for her it was the writter choice.
When Haru even if he doesn’t remember why, all his acts are for and about her.
I’m curious why there is this difference if they loved each other the same in the past.
“ Do you think Haru gained self-awareness in Flower and that’s why he is able to remember events there? Nobody else does and maybe they never do. They retain their personalities and feelings but not their memories.”
Maybe so. He never had these “dreams” of them in Flower till after his return as Haru2. He just felt that connection and that the flower connected them when he was Haru1. He seemed to have lost all memory until he gets called (??) at the end of Ep 14 (Ep7) Pages turning as if to imply stage but weird because he is drawn to the library where his drawn pages are plastered on the wall and the portal appears…and he sees the Flower scene where DanOh repeats the same lines to him, “I will make my own answer with you”. The scene before this happens was when DanOh is with Squid Fairy saying she’s scared to die and saying Haru was the only one who helped her find her answer. I wonder if that’s it. Whenever DanOh mimics lines in Flower, the 2 worlds intersect? Or when she feels distraught and fearful of death? Don’t know. Too many potential theories and I am not sure the writers will give us a coherent story to explain the whole thing. Apparently they deviated from the webtoon so no one really knows for sure how it will play out.
Yes. She knew he could change a stage but only little by little. Here’s the progression of their understanding (and ours) of Haru’s powers:
1. From staircase accident: his presence can change outcome slightly. Accident still happened. Instead of a broken leg, she had grazed knee
2. From lab accident: half and half. He was included in the storyboard now. Accident still happened as she pre-viewed it but now only one tower fell and Jooda was injured slightly; school alarm didn’t set off.
3. From beach accident: he didn’t move. He was in storyboard, again. She thought it’s because he couldn’t jump in and he was paralyzed too.
I told you ladies that no. That assumption is faulty. He didn’t move because he personally didn’t WANT to move. Maybe he wanted her to get that rock or he was jealous because he had *experienced* this scene from a previous life or something. But he allowed her to go in the water. He was NOT immobilized.
The important discovery TO THE VIEWERS here was Haru’s choice. It had to be Haru’s choice to change her settings. After he saw the destiny rock and her correction of her wish from “make Kyung love me” to “make me live,” he decided to do her wish.
Outcome of his non-intervention: DanOh decided to whack Kyung and walk away. This is a first. Her action wasn’t originally part of storyboard but it became animated.
4. From forest lost-and-found incident: he wasn’t in storyboard. It was Kyung who saved her in preview. But Haru intervened and came to save her.
Important development: here intervention was all Haru’s choice now. DanOh didn’t even tell him about this storyboard because she thought he wasn’t the KEY after her disillusionment at the beach stage. She studied all night because she thought she only had herself to rely on to change her fate.
But Haru came on his own free will and stepped in Kyung’s role.
But Kyung still ended up doing and saying things that was previewed in the storyboard but the following morning. Important discovery: storyboard could be DISPLACED and be POSTPONED.
Are you following me still? 😂
But changing storyboard has repercussions. Since Haru is changing story himself, some things are disappearing (her swing and plants) in her life, and Haru himself was getting hurt (Kyung pushed him against the wall so he injured his forehead). She didn’t want Haru hurt for her dreams so she stopped trying to change her life with his help. Until the amphitheater scene.
5. Amphitheater Stage. (And this is where we are now…or where I am now. You’re ahead of me, lol)
In the amphitheater scene, we see that Haru can totally go off script. It was as if he “broke the fourth wall” in the comic book world. He went inside the stage UNINVITED and unscripted, and punched and derided one of the major characters. He wrote a role for himself who’s not even an “extra” in this story.
So if you’re following the progression, you see this:
he wasn’t in the storyboard + his free will/choice to intervene + displacement of Kyung (and stealing his girl) + now, his active and proactive PARTICIPATION in changing DanOh’s fate.
Whereas before he was willing to take it easy and do little changes for her, he became more active because of the keychain.
I already told you ladies. 😂 The keychain triggered him. When he realized that there was a new keychain to subvert (or replace?) his old keychain, he was pushed to go after this new keychain that was given to Kyung. That was his turning point: he wasn’t going to be a nameless extra. It’s significant that he revealed his name to Kyung first of all. “I am Haru.” He knew what Kyung did to the keychain and he was mad because Kyung humiliated DanOh in front of everybody and made her cry.
That’s why when DanOh was caught in that Amphitheater “Stage” with that verbally abusive Kyung, Haru was already set and prepared to come in and punch him. He wasn’t going to let Kyung humiliate and distress her again.
Now, do you understand, Peachietime? It’s *not* enough to know that Haru has the ability to change her fate.
Duh. 😂 Everybody can see that.
What you’re supposed to get here is there needs to be a steady progression of his ability to change her destiny. There are required elements or ingredients needed to bring about a change. It’s been a learning process for the characters, as it should be to the viewers.
Like, how many of you still think that Haru didn’t help DanOh at the beach because his feet were stuck to the ground? 😂 Ordinarily, I’d say, “yeaaaah that theory is logical.” However, given the direction of Haru’s self-discovery of his ability to implement change, that point of view doesn’t move the narrative as I just explained to you.
Brilliant PM3. I did see a pattern but you analysed it and spelt it out. For me I didn’t doubt Haru’s decision NOT to go into the water for her. He didn’t hesitate later to jump in when she fell into the swimming pool. Like you said it was about his growing self awareness. He did things unquestioningly when DanOh told him to. He didn’t have a mind of his own. The beach scene was his first instance of really thinking for himself. That was why he suddenly “found his voice” and spoke his first words Eun DanOh. He needed to WANT to help DanOh of his own volition and not just because she tells him to. And I like the stacking of the rocks. It’s metaphorical. He had to do it one rock at a time. Step by step. He started to be aware of his feelings for her with the keychain incident. He was threatening to become a genuine contender for DanOh’s affections. The changes to the story at NamJoo’s party where his actions resulted in the main leads’ moment (NamJoo and JooDa) being upstaged by Kyung and DanOh? The last straw. They weren’t supposed to get so much of the spotlight? The pages were being rewritten fast and furious. Writer Nim didn’t like how the story was getting out of hand so got rid of Haru1 (nameless extra)…by rewriting him as a named character (extra) who could be controlled like DanOh.
And with all these references to water (and the backdrop of the Trumpet Flower Legend), I can’t help but feel the DanOh in Flower may have drowned? That’s the kind of story that would fit the olden day’s narrative. She’s forced to marry Kyung (her betrothed for 10years), she’s not particularly enamored with him. Falls in love with some lowly guard instead? Doomed from the get go. They make promises to each other. The marriage cannot be averted and DanOh takes her own life (drowns?). I am still puzzled about Haru’s scar. It’s on his left hand. And he’s right handed. He wields a sword so his sword would be on his right hand. The left would be free to parry or grab. Did he get it defending her? Or was it a blood pact? It’s just such a strange place to be cut in battle. In Secret the writer pens Haru2 as Kyung’s bestie? Did he have a blood pact in Flower with Haru?
So many possibilities..but the similarities between the two comics is starting to show up. From the words DanOh says “I can even marry him tomorrow”, to the story outline of the same characters in different settings. It seems like something in the Flower story went wrong and so the writer is rewriting it the way he/She wants (in a differrent era) but somehow the same story of DanOh and Haru falling in love is happening, the characters are having a mind of their own!
There must be some secret in the Flower comic that DriedSquid is so secretive about. So much so that he had to burn the comic so none of the current characters see it. I am so curious as to what that story in Flower is that none of them should know. Is Dried Squid protecting them from knowing? Sometimes ignorance can be a bliss.
My head is starting to spin from theories!
I have never yet seen a kdrama follow through with a clever cohesive storyline when it strays into fantasy territory. Certain stories, such as Black and W, had great premises and kept us all theorizing, but bore poor fruit in the end. So just a reminder to myself and my chingus not to get our hopes up too high.
That said, I think this one will be better than either of the two mentioned because the writer seems more consistent. And the heroine is way better!