Warning: This is long. Also this contains major spoilers on the Chinese film, “Soul Mate” (2016).

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Let’s cut to the chase: the film is about a woman in her mid-thirties writing about her past friendship and using her friend’s name as pseudonym. Her age wasn’t revealed but given the death of her friend at age 27, and her custody of a first-grader, I’d say she was around 34 years old.

The film opens with a prologue.

“July first met Ansen at the age of 13. After years, July had told JiaMing her friendship with Ansen was a predestined one.”

Right away, the names of the three important characters are given: the two besties, Ansen and July, and JiaMing, July’s boyfriend.

Then the camera moves to a manuscript entitled “Soul Mate.”

Executive: This is a web serial yet to conclude. Our company wants to purchase the film rights, but we can’t contact the author. Maybe you can help.
Ansen: I never read novels or web fiction.

It’s easy to tell that Ansen wasn’t happy about being contacted. Her face was tight, rigid, and emotionless. And her denial came too quickly.

Executive: It’s written by your friend, July. It’s the story of the two of you from age 13 to 26. You’re Ansen, right?
Ansen: My name is Ansen but not that Ansen. I don’t know July.

The camera shows a close-up of her touching her fingers. This is a good indication of her nervousness. She was worried that her real identity would be discovered. You see, she was July. In honor of her dead friend, she took July’s name as pseudonym.

Executive: But you were born in Zhenjiang. I even visited your hometown. I found the forest described in the book and tracked down your old teacher. She said July was a good writer even then.
Ansen: July…It’s an unusual name.

Then, there’s a fadeout. We next see Ansen riding a subway home. Of all people to encounter on the train on that day, she had the misfortune of meeting JiaMing. He approached her, eager to renew old ties. She however looked uncomfortable once again.

JM: When did you move to Shanghai? Were do you work?
Ansen: I came a few years ago. I work in an e-commerce company now.
JM: Didn’t you marry and move overseas?
Ansen: I broke up with him a long time ago. How did you know about that?
JM: July wrote a novel…a web serial. It was mentioned in there.
Ansen: I haven’t read it yet.

She sounded defensive, as if sensing JM’s criticism for being clueless about the web serial.

JM: July…how is she?
Ansen: I don’t know. We lost contact long ago.

Now, this has a double meaning. To JM, it sounded as if she lost contact because she and July had a falling out and were living in separate worlds. But the truth was she lost contact because July died. In truth, she was with July at the time of her death. So losing contact with her was a natural outcome of death, and not estrangement.

JM: I thought you two will always be best friends.
Ansen: Nothing lasts forever.

Yes, nothing lasts forever. She said it, stoically. Friendships like marriages go on as long as both people live… “till death do us part.” Ansen could hear the mild reproof in JM’s tone, so she accused him.

Ansen: Besides, out of the three of us, weren’t you the first to run away?

Before JM could reply, she dashed out the exit. He ran after her but instead of getting off the train, he stopped at the door and tossed her his wallet with a bunch of calling cards. Behind the glass windows of the train, he motioned her to call him up.

She wouldn’t.

JM probably thought that she was referring to his botched wedding where he left July at the altar. He wouldn’t know that Ansen knew the whole story from July herself. July confided in Ansen that it was she who called off the wedding. She told JM to leave. She said, “Don’t show up for the wedding tomorrow. I don’t want to be with a man who doesn’t love me completely. If you run away, I’ll have a good excuse to leave.”

Personally, I thought July was daring him to show up. When JM jilted her at altar, he confirmed July’s suspicion that his feelings for her were – at best – conflicted. July knew then that he also had feelings for Ansen.

Thus, Ansen knew the real reason he ran away. She wasn’t referring to that when she accused him of being the “first” to run away.

I think she was referring to JM’s personality. You see, he ran away from his problems. Ironically, he even told Ansen that he began running after he met her. So, technically, that was his first time to run away.

Not surprisingly then he would walk away too after learning that July had borne him a daughter and that Ansen was raising her as her daughter.

Ansen watched him disappear after he casually inquired if he could still visit the child. She knew he wasn’t going to.

There you have the first 10 minutes of the film, including my explanation of the backstory. The rest of the movie follows July’s friendship with Ansen, beginning with their first meeting at 13.

Now, how does this plot help us gain insight to our episode, “Hello, My Soul Mate”? Well, I think our kdrama screenwriter explored the different meanings of soulmate as portrayed in the movie then adapted them to this episode.

I’ll name five definitions.

1. Fated encounter

Ansen wrote in the beginning, “July first met Ansen at the age of 13. After years, July had told JiaMing her friendship with Ansen was a predestined one.”

This parallels NJ’s meeting with Ung.

Although she wouldn’t call it predestined, because she believed that it was the internet’s algorithm that led her to Ung, it was still entirely accidental how she ended up at Ung’s exhibit. She clicked on Ung’s exhibit by accident.

NJ said in her interview for the documentary, “There’s this character in my story. He appeared out of nowhere one day as if he was destined to… But not really. I guess we were scientifically matched through big data analysis.”

Lol. She rejected one common trope about soulmates. Soulmates are supposed to have fated encounters. They meet each other because the stars aligned or something.

NJ: After purchasing a building, I ended up going to an exhibition of someone who only drew buildings. And that’s where we met.

I love how dismissive she was about fate. It revealed her cynicism about the way the world works. To her, “big data analytics” matched with Ung because she bought a building and he drew buildings. That’s their connection: buildings.

But then, she didn’t expect to be suddenly moved to tears by Ung’s drawings. This is another trope about soulmates. Soulmates feel an instant connection during their fated encounters. In NJ’s case, Ung’s drawings “spoke” to her soul. She was drawn to them because, as one very lonely person, she could see her loneliness reflected in his sketches.

As fate would have it, Ung was standing by her side. He offered her a tissue, and diverted the other guests to another area to give her privacy. She found him strange and sweet. And she bought his illustration.

NJ: Give me your phone.
Ung: What for?
NJ: If I get bored of that drawing, I want to buy another one of yours.
Ung: I’m not the artist.

Lol. He denied his own work. This reminded me of Ansen denying ownership of the manuscript.

NJ: Really? Then I should just return that drawing.
Ung: Wait. Please keep it a secret.
NJ: This is my number. Not many people know this number.
Ung: Not many know my number either. I don’t have many friends.
NJ: Anyway, I’ll give you a call later.

That marked the beginning of an odd relationship between NJ and Ung. The two had little things in common. Aside from buildings, restricted phone numbers, and loneliness, they couldn’t be more mis-matched by big data analytics. Ung lived a low-key life while NJ admitted, “I live a very professional life. My life is glamorous, and way too passionate.”

In the movie, Ansen and July also had polar opposite existences. Ansen lived life on the edge. She learned to pull off scams and hone her freeloading skills in order to survive. Compared to her, July was sheltered in an ivory tower. However, in spite of their differences, they matched each other. If it weren’t for their boy problem, they got along well.

To return to Ung and NJ…

He wanted to bring her to a fancy restaurant as his treat but she chose a place with a view. When two strangers tried to take a picture of them, she handled the situation before Ung could step in.

Ung: This must happen a lot. You seem to be used to it.
NJ: I can never get used to it. I just pretend I am. Soon, they’ll post it online and leave a comment.

NJ went on to grumble and Ung consoled her.

Ung: You don’t need their understanding. There’s no need for you to do that. Who cares? Let them see and believe what they want. It’s fine as long as you understand yourself. That’s already hard enough.
NJ: Do you know what your charm is?

Ung: That was so sudden.
NJ: You’re quite easygoing and humorous, so I can go on all day about the most ridiculous things.

Meaning, she knew she was a difficult and demanding person to deal with, but he wasn’t fazed by this. Ung wondered whether she meant that as a praise or an accusation of his indifference.

Ung: Is that a compliment?
NJ: But you also have a serious and sincere side to you. So you tell me what I need to hear at times. You’re quite charming. You have many layers.
Ung: (smiles awkwardly)
NJ: I’m not asking you out, so why are you embarrassed?
Ung: I’m not good with compliments.
NJ: Look at that. You’re so adorable.

From this encounter we can derive one definition of a soulmate: a person who completes the other. A soulmate is the other half. Ung completed NJ because he possessed traits which are lacking in her or are opposite of her personality. He balanced her and guided her because he was the “better half” in the equation. The fated encounter doesn’t matter as much as the meeting of two complementary people.

2. Best friends

It’s easy to draw a one-to-one correspondence and say that two best friends in the movie, Ansen and July, are JiUng and Ung respectively, and July’s boyfriend JM is Yeonsu. However, as much as they’re similar, they have clear differences. Let’s go over the similarities, first.

a. Ansen = JiUng

They had the same family situation. Single moms raised them. Their moms worked hard most of the day, so they grew up as “latchkey kids,” that is, kids who returned from school to an empty house and had to learn to fend for themselves at a young age.

In one scene, when Ansen saw her mother waiting to pick her up after school, she fled. She didn’t want to go home with her mother. She preferred to go home to July’s place whose parents doted on her more than they did with July.

Ansen’s escape from her mother closely paralleled JiUng’s evasion of his mother. One minute, he was happy to help unload onions from Ung’s father’s truck and to stay over for lunch at the restaurant, then the next minute, he was running way. He was avoiding his mother.

JiUng: Yeonsu, I’m sorry but I don’t think I can eat with you. You should eat here. (walking away)
Ung’s mother: JiUng, aren’t you going to eat?
JiUng: (looking back and shaking head no)
JiUng’s mother: (excusing herself, too) Goodbye.

When they were at a safe distance from Ung’s restaurant, JiUng confronted her.

JiUng: Is there something you want to say?
Mother: You should come home. Don’t sleep elsewhere. Or do I need to leave?
JiUng: You’re going to leave anyway. I have a favor. I really care about those people, so I don’t want to show them this side of me.

Meaning, he didn’t want to disappoint Ung’s parents. He wanted to show them the caring side of him and maintain his “good son” image. But whenever his mother appeared, he couldn’t hide his resentment. It was difficult for him to put on a “loving son” act with her around. I found it ironic that he told her mom to “be her usual self” when it was him who was hiding his usual self.

JiUng: (continuing) Be your usual self. Ignore them and go your way. (walks away)
Mother: (at a loss for words)

Because of his absentee mother, JiUng wanted to be part of Ung’s warm and caring family. It was fortunate that Ung wanted to share his family with JiUng.

b. Ung = July

Ung’s family meals also paralleled dinner time at July’s home. Food was bountiful, and both sets of parents were eager to feed their child’s best friend.

It was normal then that Ung’s mom could throw a bigger feast for JiUng’s birthday than JiUng’s own mother. After years of feeding him, she knew better than to prepare him peaches.

When it comes to sharing his family, Ung mirrored July in selflessness and generosity. They both shared their parents’ affection, their food, their beds, and with the case of Ung, his name, too.

But one thing they didn’t want to share was their loved one. Thankfully for Ung, JiUng hadn’t yet been open and blatant about his pursuit of Yeonsu. Except for the time when they went biking, he hadn’t really made an aggressive move.

As for July, she had to deal with Ansen’s rather shameless interest in JM. When Ansen went gallivanting around the world, she always signed off her postcards with “Give my regards to Jiaming.” Considering that she left wearing JM’s jade pendant (I’ll explain this in a bit), I thought that greeting was out of line.

The trouble with July, however, is that she was too nice. If she had told Ansen to stop or had called her out on the jade pendant, then Ansen would have been forced to respect her feelings. But July preferred to keep their friendship, so she tolerated Ansen’s passive-aggressive behavior.

c. Differences 

In this regard, July and Ung were different. Although Ung appeared to be a pushover, JiUng toed the line with him. One word from Ung, expressed with appropriate coldness, was often enough for JiUng to back off.

Remember these? From Episode 5, JiUng was talking about Ung’s behavior at the Soen party.

JiUng: I can tell you still have feelings for her.
Ung: Why are you interested in us all of a sudden? It’s not because of the shoot.
JiUng: I don’t think this is out of the blue.
Ung: What do you know?

Then this in Episode 8. He immediately cut JiUng off whenever he inquired about his relationship with Yeonsu.

Ung: What is it? Just say it already, unless you want to be here all night.
JiUng: We decided to change the angle and focus more on Yeonsu’s and your emotions.
Ung: And?
JiUng: It confused me the more I film you two. Your feelings towards Yeonsu. Whether it’s because of your past relationship, or…
Ung: Or?
JiUng: (doesn’t speak)
Ung: Ms. Jung told me today that people behind the camera shouldn’t get involved. What are you curious about?

There he blocked him again. JiUng had no choice but to retreat, saying, “That only applies when I’m filming. I have many questions, but I’ll ask next time. Good night.”

I remember Ung’s contract when he stipulated only two things for the documentary. He wrote, “Do not annoy me” and “Do not bother me.” To me, he was incautious. But looking back now, perhaps that was all he needed to say. JiUng wouldn’t be able to force him to do anything he didn’t want to, and Ung was the type to run away, anyway.

July didn’t have this inflexible personality. For half of the movie, I found myself wishing that she’d grow a spine and chew Ansen out. That’s why I was cheering for her when she finally blew up during dinner at the fancy restaurant.

The two of them were on vacation together. Since it was July who paid for their luxury hotel, Ansen wanted to pay for the food. But she obviously wasn’t in a position to pay since she had no steady job. So, to July’s embarrassment, she went to the party next to them and mooch off a bottle of wine. When July scolded her that her behavior cheapened her, Ansen said defensively that was how she got by all these years, scamming and freeloading off on men.

July: I have money. I’ll pay. There’s no need to divide things up so precisely.
Ansen: (smiling) What’s yours and what’s mine you drew a clear line all these years.

Now, this remark came out of nowhere. Ansen was just hitting back because July scolded her for flirting with the men.

July: (speechless then…) If I drew such a clear line why did every postcard you sent over the last 5 years say to give your regards to my boyfriend? If I drew such a clear line why are you still wearing this (pointing to her pendant)?

She stood up and left the restaurant. Ansen had no comeback.

A side comment here: At first, I thought the Ma Sichun, the actress playing July, was underwhelming in her role. But boy! when she exploded like that, I realized that she was like a coiled spring. Great job.

To me, this fierce moment gave the second definition of a soulmate: a person who shares the other’s likes and dislikes. Soulmates are best friends. Most of the time, having similar tastes is a good thing. However, there’s also the risk that soulmates will fall in love with the same individual because they have the same preferences.

That’s the predicament of Ung and JiUng. They both admired Yeonsu because they had the same tastes in women. In Episode 9, Ung thought that JiUng didn’t like his girlfriend. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Ung: Yah! Yeonsu and I are going to eat at our restaurant. Join us.
JiUng: I’m busy.
Ung: What do you mean? You’re reading a comic book.
JiUng: I just finished. I have a report to write.
Ung: Hey, I get that Yeonsu is kind of weird. But you’re being so obvious that you don’t like her. She’s my girlfriend.
JiUng: It’s nothing like that.
Ung: But why do I feel like you’re avoiding her?
JiUng: I’m not. Stop the nonsense and just go. She’ll yell at you for being late. Go. By the way, you’re weirder than she is.

Lol. Since they were both the passive type, it was no wonder that they’d be attracted to Yeonsu because she was fierce, decisive, and domineering. They secretly liked that she bossed them around.

However, since they were both passive, and non-confrontational, I doubt that they’ll have a big blow-up like Ansen and July in the future episodes.

3. Pendant = Documentary Footage

In the movie, the pendant is what’s known as the “MacGuffin” or a significant object that triggers the action in the plot. The appearance of the pendant created the rift between the two best friends. It wasn’t fate nor accident that made the pendant such a divisive object. It was the conscious action of Ansen.

She, July, and JM visited a Buddhist temple one day. Halfway up their destination, July had to rest because she was out of breath. But Ansen was prancing around, full of energy, so she ran ahead, uncaring that July was left behind. July asked JM to follow Ansen because she feared her friend would cause trouble on her own.

Well, she was partly right. Ansen did cause trouble, but she didn’t do it solo. She had a willing accomplice, JM.

When the two reached the temple, Ansen began flirting with him. (Let’s a spade a spade, and a flirt a flirt.) She wanted to see his jade Buddha pendant. July had told her about it, and she wanted to see it for herself.

In my opinion, she had no business:

a. asking to see his personal item,
b. standing close to him,
c. touching his Buddha (sounds kinky, I know), and
d. gazing into his eyes.

As the best friend, she should have respected the boundaries. Robert Frost wrote, “Good fences make good neighbors” and this adage applies not only to acreage but relationships as well.

Predictably, their close encounter brought an awareness of their physical attraction for each other. Too bad the temple didn’t cave in on them because they just delayed their karma.

They were startled to see July sitting outside and waiting for them outside the temple. Good-naturedly, she joked that they must’ve been shocked to see that she could caught up to them. This joke had a double meaning because years later, July confessed to Ansen that she saw their whole interaction but kept calm.

Shortly after that temple trip, Ansen decided to embark on her world adventures. Without being told, July knew that Ansen was intentionally distancing herself from her and her boyfriend. And without saying so, July felt relieved that Ansen had chosen their friendship over her feelings for JM.

Hmmmm… 🤔 This reminds me of JiUng’s plan. Back in Episode 9, he said his plan was simple. “Don’t get involved in any coincidental encounters. Don’t get fooled by words like [they’re breaking up]. Try to meet new people. I promised myself not to be shaken no matter what happened. And to slowly forget her.”

But what started out as good intention on Ansen’s part was negated in the end by her indiscretion. At the last minute, as she was about to take leave, JM the boyfriend handed her the jade pendant.

Gasp!

And she took it. No, she actually WORE it, which in my book, was ten times worse.

How do you spell stupid?!

A.N.S.E.N.

Judy was unaware of JM’s parting gift. She and Ansen tearfully exchanged goodbye. They held hands across the window. July ran alongside Ansen’s car as the train rolled out the station. The scene was a textbook train departure trope, and the moment would have been eternalized as act of noble sacrifice for Ansen. After all, she was leaving home to give July and JM space.

But suddenly, the jade pendant — or the MacGuffin — popped out of her shirt and exposed the truth.

July’s shocked face was epic.

The truth came out.

The significance of the pendant wasn’t hard to comprehend. She knew that her boyfriend wasn’t trustworthy. And she knew that her best friend left, bringing not only a token of affection from her boyfriend, but also her crushed idealism of friendship and sharing.

In her web series, Ansen summed up the moment.

Ansen: What hurt July the most wasn’t the departure, but that she couldn’t love Ansen as much as Ansen loved her. Because not everything in life can be shared. She never imagined this was what being a “grown-up” was all about.

I thought that piece of writing was a bit disingenuous of Ansen. To me, if she had truly loved her best friend July then she shouldn’t have taken the pendant, much less wore it. But true, being an adult meant understanding and respecting the distinction between personal and communal properties.

For the sake of friendship, July pretended that the pendant was insignificant. She only admitted in the end that the pendant weighed heavily in her mind. She noticed whenever Ansen wore it and she noticed when Ansen stopped wearing it.

July: Without that, do you feel empty inside?
Ansen: One get used to it.
July: (remembering the temple encounter) I already knew then that you would let me have JiaMing. But I still let you go.
Ansen: I wanted to go.
July: Both of us were pretending. But you weren’t convincing. Smart people never let others know that they’re smart. You were stupid. Your act was so transparent. You couldn’t hide your true feelings. I did. Do you hate me?
Ansen: I did.
July: Me too. Maybe since the day at the temple? I’m not sure anymore.

Then, July admitted that despite hating Ansen, she was her best friend.

July: It became clear to me what mattered and what didn’t. You’re my best friend. I hated you. But you’re all I have.

If the pendant was the MacGuffin in the movie, then footages of Yeonsu on JiUng’s computer was the MacGuffin in this episode.

To me, Ung would have to be particularly dull-witted not to sense JiUng’s unusual interest in Yeonsu. Mr. Jang already warned him.

He was bothered when JiUng and Yeonsu disappeared together during the trip. He also heard the villager’s conversation with JiUng. JiUng didn’t correct the villager.

Villager: Goodness. You’re that man from yesterday.
JiUng: Hello. We meet again.
Villager: You must have come in a group. You’re all handsome.

This meant that the villager realized that she mistakenly assumed that he was on a “couple” trip with Yeonsu. He actually came with a group.

JiUng: Where are you going?
Villager: Home, of course. Right. Did you visit that place with your girlfriend yesterday?

Ung looked at him then. He must have wondered why JiUng didn’t correct the false impression that he was Yeonsu’s boyfriend.

JiUng: She’s probably on her way as we speak.
Villager: Geez, not today. It’s going to rain soon.
JiUng: I doubt it will.
Villager: Goodness. Can’t you tell? You should hurry back before you get soaked. You should have gone there yesterday. It’s a marvelous place. Goodness.

However, prior to seeing the footages of Yeonsu on JiUng’s laptop, Ung could tell himself that all his suspicions were just a flight of fancy, or a product of his jealous imagination. But the footages – like the pendant around Ansel’s neck – confirmed something that he did NOT particularly what to know: that his friend was his rival for Yeonsu’s affection.

To me, he was acting like July. Like July, he could take the high road and feign ignorance because he was the “smart” one. He hid his feelings well and he wasn’t as transparent as JiUng.

He didn’t want to confront JiUng because he was avoiding conflict. He wanted to preserve his friendship with JiUng. He knew that if he called JiUng out on it, their friendship and his good opinion of JiUng would be irrevocably lost. They’d never see each other the same way again. So he had to put his trust in JiUng that he’d do the right thing, and not cross the line.

So what does this tell me about a soulmate?

This is the third definition of a soulmate: a person who acts like a shadow to the other one, always following wherever the other one goes. Whether intentionally or not, the soulmate wishes to emerge from the shadows and step into the life of the other one.

That’s why JiUng allowed the villager to think that he was Yeonsu’s boyfriend. He liked to pretend that he was Ung.

Conversely, Ung allowed JiUng to be his shadow. He knew that whatever JiUng did, JiUng could never replace him in Yeonsu’s life.

This concept of being a shadow was repeated often in the film. It was introduced in the early scenes when young July and Ansen were playing in the woods. In her webstory, Ansen wrote, “They read somewhere that if you step on someone’s shadow, that person will stay with you for life. At times, July was Ansen’s shadow. At other times, Ansen was July’s shadow. But Ansen said, a lifetime is too long. She only wanted to live to the age of 27.”

4. The Pink Pouch

In the other thread on Ep 9, I had asked around if the pink pouch meant something significant in this episode.

@GB replied,

There was no significance to the pink pouch except that it was an excuse for YS and/or CU.

Good because then I can tell you how I think it relates to the film.

The pink pouch is the “Beijing excuse.”

In the movie, after July and Ansen had a great falling out, they didn’t meet again for a long time. It was JM who spotted Ansen again in Beijing. They had a drink in a café to catch up on news.

Ansen: Does she visit you in Beijing?
JM: She doesn’t like to travel. I’m the one who travels back.
Ansen: She doesn’t mind traveling. She just wants you to return to her.

The guy didn’t understand what she was talking about.

The funny thing was, a month later after this café encounter, July visited Beijing after all. She dropped by to see Ansen, and she ended up meeting a very drunk Ansen being carried home by her boyfriend JM.

Hiding her shock, July intervened, and helped Ansen into her apartment. She had a shouting match with Ansen about brassieres, stealing boyfriends, and so on. Then she walked of the apartment and gave JM, who was waiting outside, a few home truths.

July: I never visited you here in Beijing not because I didn’t want to leave home. I just wanted you to go back. When you went home it was proof that you loved me. That you chose me.

Her parting shot was, “I’ll wait for you a month. If you come back, we’ll get married.” She was building up his expectations, only to tear them down later on.

That’s why I say that the pink pouch was the “Beijing excuse.”

Yeonsu’s bestie pointed out that she purposely left it behind. Yeonsu denied it.

Yeonsu: No, I really forgot about it.
Bestie: Your excuse for going back there is that you left a pouch behind. You know it’s pathetic, right?
Yeonsu: It’s not an excuse. It’s precious to me.

Her bestie knew better. She could see through her act. Yeonsu left it at Ung’s place so she’d have an excuse to go back during lunch time and invite Ung to a meal together.

Unfortunately, But NJ beat her to her game. NJ also arranged an interview for the documentary at Ung’s place so she could invite Ung to go out for lunch with her after the interview.

NJ: I’m famished. You haven’t eaten yet, right? Let’s go. (grabbing Ung)
Ung: (shocked) Uh…
Yeonsu: Uh…Ung! I left something at your place. I need to get it right now.
Ung: Right now? What is it?
Yeonsu: It’s something super precious to me.
Ung: You can go inside and look for it yourself.
Yeonsu: But it’s your house.
Ung: What’s wrong? That’s unlike you.

This didn’t really need to be spelled out: she.didn’t.like.him.to.go.out.with.NJ.

Yeonsu: But still…
NJ: (grabbing Ung again) See you next time. Let’s go.

Before she could get her pouch though, JiUng invited her out to lunch.

Later that night, Ung saw it in his bathroom. He smirked because he thought it was ridiculous that she’d make such big deal about this little pouch and call it “super precious.” Nevertheless, he used it as pretext to meet up with her that night.

Ung: Is this yours?
Yeonsu: Yes, it is.
Ung: Was this the super precious pouch of yours?

I like how he called it “super precious” as if he was teasing her.

Yeonsu: Is this why you came?
Ung: Well, you said it was really precious to you.

Yeonsu: Is that it?
Ung: (not saying anything)
Yeonsu: You know what? I…I think…
Grandma: (interrupting) Who is that?

Unlike Yeonsu, Ung went to her place to return pouch without any expectation of having a meal with her. But he ended up being invited over to supper with Yeonsu and her grandmother.

What does this signify about a soulmate?

I think this is the fourth definition of a soulmate: a person who’s on the same wavelength as the other. Soulmates understand each other. They can see through deception; they don’t need explanations; they know what needs to be done.

July’s boyfriend wasn’t her soulmate. After years of dating, he still had no idea how her mind worked. In contrast, Ansen was a true soulmate because she easily understood July’s reason for not visiting him in Beijing. July was testing JM to see whether he’d go the distance in their relationship, literally and figuratively speaking. She needed to know that JM was dating her out of his own choice, and not out of habit or convenience.

Like Ansen, Ung was a true soulmate. He could read what was running in Yeonsu’s mind when he saw what the “super precious” item was. The pink pouch was a “bat signal.”

Yeonsu might have used it as an excuse to see him, but it was meant to be a distress call to summon him to her place. He could have waited till the following day to return it to her, but because she said it was her “super precious pouch,” he had to see her right away to drop it off. She was summoning him.

July didn’t go to Beijing to test whether her fiancé would go back for her. Yeonsu didn’t have to go to Ung’s house to know that he’d come running to her when she called.

However, lol, what spoiled everything for Yeonsu was Ung’s parting shot.

His parting shot was, “See? We can be friends.” It was like he built up her expectations only to tear them down.

5. Recap of the definitions of a soulmate

Before I write the final definition of soulmate, let me recap the first four.

First definition of a soulmate: a person who completes the other. A soulmate is the other half. Ung completed NJ because he possessed traits which are lacking in her or are opposite of her personality. He balanced her and guided her because he was the “better half” in the equation. The fated encounter doesn’t matter as much as the meeting of two complementary people.

Second definition of a soulmate: a person who shares the other’s likes and dislikes. Soulmates are best friends. Most of the time, having similar tastes is a good thing. However, there’s also the risk that soulmates will fall in love with the same individual because they have the same preferences.

Third definition of a soulmate: a person who acts like a shadow to the other one, always following wherever the other one goes. Whether intentionally or not, the soulmate wishes to emerge from the shadows and step into the life of the other one.

Fourth definition of a soulmate: a person who’s on the same wavelength as the other. Soulmates understand each other. They can see through deception; they don’t need explanations; they know what needs to be done.

So, now here comes the fifth definition… I’ll have to split it.

6. The sink

Truth has a funny way of catching up with the lies. In the film, JM discovered that Ansen had been posing as July writing the web series from an unlikely source: a little girl, a first-grader. The girl called him up to arrange meeting.

Girl: Are you my father?
JM: Why do you ask?

Then, the little girl took out the postcards that Ansen had written to July. Of course, July would have kept them all because July was the organized one of the two. Ansen most likely lost all of July’s postcards.

Girl: Look. Each postcard ends with “Give my regards to Jiaming.” That means my loved you.

See that? If a seven-year-old child could figure this out easily, then the truth would have been so obvious to July when she got those postcards.

JM: Didn’t she tell you about your father?
Girl: Since you knew my mom for a long time, take a look and see if it mentions anything about my father.

The little girl takes out the manuscript that was first shown in the opening scene. I thought the writer and director did a nice circle there.

Girl: (continuing) I’m in grade one. I can’t read many of the words.
JM: (amused) You’re reading this too?
Girl: My mom wrote this. I sneaked it out.
JM: But it’s written by July.
Girl: My mom’s penname is July. I saw her write it.

And just then, Ansen came charging in the restaurant.

Ansen: Li Tong-tong!

Ansen wasn’t a web series writer for nothing. When JM wanted to know where July was, she spun a fairy tale (or horror story) just for him. She said that July came back when she discovered she was pregnant. After giving birth, July left the baby with her, and disappeared. She said she wanted to taste the life of freedom that Ansen had when she was 18.

JM was shocked. He asked, “She left just like that? You never heard from her again?” Ansen said nothing, letting him believe what he wanted to believe.

Once he was gone again, Ansen returned to her apartment.

This scene when she washed her hands and cried reminded me of Yeonsu when she let the water run and cried.

Ansen then relived the last moments of July’s life. Although July gave birth without any incident, she suffered a hemorrhage the day after. The doctors couldn’t save her. Her friend died at age 27 which ironically enough was the age that she had told July she would die.

That night, she finished the last chapter of her web series. The title was “On the Road at Age 27”.

In her final chapter, there was no mention of the pregnancy. All she wrote was that July dropped by at Ansen’s place one last time, and when it was time for her to leave to on her grand adventure, July knew it was the final goodbye for them.

Ansen wrote, “July knew from that moment on that she and Ansen were meant to lead separate lives. She didn’t think about where she was going or for how long. She just wanted to embrace her freedom in every place that she visited. She wrote down what she wanted to share with Ansen. This time it was her turn to make her life into a novel. She too wrote down everything that happened after she met Ansen at the age of 13. The story begins like this: the drifting July knew when she looked back one day to see that the person stepping on her shadow would be Ansen living a happy life.”

The story came full circle. Some key points:

a. Unlike Ansen in her youth, the older Ansen didn’t want to drift anymore. She wanted roots.
b. With July’s newborn baby, Ansen was given the opportunity to seek stability for her and the child.
c. She became grounded after July’s death.
d. She wrote the web series in gratitude for the life she had WITH July, and BECAUSE OF July.

Seriously, if you want a good cry to clear your sinusitis, I’d recommend this movie, “Soul Mate.”

In the context of the film, this is the fifth definition of soul mate: a person who keeps the memory of the loved one alive.  For as long the soul mate lives, the dead one is never forgotten.

How do all these relate to our episode? Well, in this episode, the truth also came out in an awkward situation.

Yeonsu’s grandma kept harassing Ung while he was eating. She was paying him back for making her granddaughter cry. And good-natured Ung endured it all for Yeonsu’s sake

Grandma: I haven’t seen you in years. So why did you suddenly show up?
Yeonsu: Halmeoni! You’re the one who invited him inside.
Grandma: He said he hadn’t eaten yet. I should feed him.

She was implying that she had no choice here. Her (good) manners required her to invite him to eat. He should have lied and said he’d already eaten. Lol.

Grandma: (eyeing Ung) What are you doing? Eat up.
Ung: (struggles with a large piece of zucchini)
Grandma: So? Are you two dating again?
Yeonsu: Halmeoni! Just let him eat in peace. And we’re just friends. Friends.
Grandma: Friends, my foot. Were you that desperate for a friend? (glaring at Ung) Eat up, will you?
Ung: Yes, ma’am.
Grandma: Look at him nibbling on the food. Is it not good?

She meant that Ung looked dainty. He was useless as a man if he couldn’t even chomp off a zucchini.

Ung: It’s delicious.
Yeonsu: Hey. Slow down. Just slow down.
Grandma: How desperate are you to be friends with your ex? That boy is much better. JiUng. He’s well-behaved and cute.

Ouch! She was being rude here. She wanted Ung to know that her granddaughter had choices, and a much better one than him.

Yeonsu: (glances at Ung to see if he’s hurt)
Grandma: On the other hand, look at him. He’s useless.
Yeonsu: (talking to Ung) I’m sorry. You know she likes to bad-mouth people openly.
Ung: (just smiles at her)
Grandma: Isn’t anyone feeding you at home? You seem to be skinnier now. So tell me. Do you have a decent job?
Ung: (swallowing his food first) Mmm…
Grandma: (yells at him) Answer me, will you?
Ung: (chokes)

Lol. Grandma was deliberately trying to fluster him so she could scold him some more.

Grandma: I can see that you’re still so bashful.
Yeonsu: (stepping in) Halmeoni! Stop scolding him. Why are you being so harsh to him?
Grandma: How can I be nice to someone who made you cry? I’d love to give him a good beating.

This is the awkward truth that came out from an unlikely source. He probably realized that her Grandma was under the wrong impression that HE broke up with her and made her cry when it was the other way around.

Ung: (glances at Yeonsu.)
Yeonsu: (doesn’t say anything)
Ung: (eats his soup)
Yeonsu: Yah. This won’t do. You should just go. It must be uncomfortable for you. You should go. I apologize for her behavior.
Ung: (softly) I should still eat.

I like this part. He wasn’t running away. He would take the grandma’s tongue-lashing for Yeonsu’s sake.

Grandma: (offering him the side dish) Make sure you have the side dishes too.
Ung: Yes, ma’am.

After Ung left, Yeonsu had to tell Grandma the whole truth.

Grandma: Did he leave?
Yeonsu: Mmm.
Grandma: Gosh. He should have stayed longer. Why didn’t he?
Yeonsu: How could he when you were giving him an earful? I thought you wanted him gone.
Grandma: That’s not true. But it’s true that he gave you a hard time.
Yeonsu: I didn’t know you saw me crying.
Grandma: You were secretly crying for days on end. How could I have not noticed that? Thinking about it again makes my blood boil. That scumbag. I should have been harsher.

The water kept running, and Yeonsu turned it off.

I think these sink scenes parallel each other. They announce the coming of tears, not just a trickle, but a torrent of tears.

Yeonsu: I was the one who dumped him. I abandoned him.
Grandma: What?
Yeonsu: It was my fault. I was selfish.
Grandma: Yeonsu
Yeonsu: Halmeoni. I still have feelings for him. Although I abandoned him, although I was the one who let him go, I…I still like him. So scold me instead. Tell me I was stupid and cruel. Scold me. Ask me why I did something I would regret. Please. Please scold me.

Gifs from ingukk’s tumblr

source: ingukk’s tumblr

Grandma: Yeonsu
Yeonsu: What should I do? I don’t want to be friends with Ung. I can’t. But I guess he can. What should I do?
Grandma: (Hugs her) My puppy.

In the context of this episode, this is the fifth definition of a soul mate: a person who keeps the memory of a dead relationship alive.

From Yeonsu’s perspective, Ung was ready to move on and forget their connection. Although this devastated her, she knew everything was her fault; she had no choice but to endure the consequences. As long she, the soul mate, lived, the remembrance of their past romance would linger on, even when all hope was gone, and just the tears remained.

So there you have it my five definitions of soulmate as I interpreted based on the movie and this episode. Sigh…The things I do for bitchesoverdramas. lol.