Heads-up: I took a lot of screenshots in this post because pictures do a better job of explaining than my words.

This cdrama is unique in that the title pages show a different object each time that becomes central to the episode. In case you missed them, I’ll go over them.

For the sake of uniformity, I’m using the subs from Netflix.

1. First Chapter. Waiting. A secret kept
Alternative title from youku: I’ve been waiting. A secret kept
Object: Notebook

Backstory: Sang Zhi had asked DJ to show up at a meeting with her teacher as her brother.

DJ: What school do you go to?
SZ: Xuri Middle High School. Grade 8, Class 1.
DJ: And your name?
SZ: I’m Sang Zhi.
DJ: Sang Zhi?
SZ: Yes. “Zhi” for innocence.

I get that there can be multiple ways to spell her name because in the Chinese language, the alphabet isn’t phonetic like in English or Korean. Instead, the characters are symbols with their own meaning.

This is why, for the longest time, Sang Zhi didn’t know how to spell Duan Jiaxu’s name and was curious to know it was spelt.

DJ: So Sang Zhi, you know when we’ll meet next time, right? (smiling) Bye!
SZ: (fretting) Next time? Hold on. When will that be? Tomorrow? So is he coming tomorrow or not? Why didn’t he give me an exact answer?

As the story unfolded, we discovered the notebook became the reason Sang Zhi and DJ met up secretly when she was in 11th grade. She had left her composition notebook at her brother’s dorm and DJ arranged to meet her to return the notebook…without her brother’s knowledge.

Not only that, when DJ read an essay in her notebook, he “compensated” by writing an essay of his own which addressed to her. In his composition, he made sure to let her know that he was very happy to see her again.

In hindsight, this could have very well been the first ever love letter Sang Zhi received.

2. Chapter 2. Closer. What made me meet someone like you
Object: Milk bottle

Backstory: As pre-arranged, DJ met up with her and stayed with her while she finished her essay assignment.

He arrived early at the bus stop and bought her milk. To me, the milk bottle exemplifies  the ambivalent way he thought about her. On one hand, she was like a kid who still drank milk. But on the other, she was a girl whom he inexplicably is drawn to and likes to cosset.

The milk bottle was also one of the first things that Sang Zhi saved as keepsake. (As of Ep 4, the other souvenirs of DJ she had in possession are the fox stuffed toy and the lightbulb. @agdr03 is keeping count.)

It would become the repository of her hidden wishes.

3. Chapter 3. Considerate. Get a little closer
Object: Band-aid

As I wrote here, both DJ and SZ began to display consideration for each other in this episode.

SZ was concerned about his financial situation and didn’t want him to spend money treating her out when he had to work part-time jobs just to earn money.

On his part, DJ showed consideration when he took care of her when she had her monthlies, bought her a stuffed toy to cheer her up, and attended to her sports injury. The band-aid is significant not only because it symbolizes DJ’s attentiveness to her, but it also highlights DJ’s unfailing kindness to EVERYONE. That realization that she wasn’t the lone recipient of his TLC (tender loving care, lol) made her sad.

4. Chapter 4. Hidden approval. My secret
Object: Schoolbag

I hope the eagle-eyed viewers on this blog noticed the number of times Duan JiaXu took Sang Zhi’s backpack and carried it for her. He did it three times.

a. First was when he gave her a ride home on the rented bike. He took her bag from her hand and loaded it on the bike basket.

Then, when they arrived at her home, he handed it back to her.

b. The following day, she discovered that he tattled on her, and got her brother and the other guys to confront the bullies.

But before going in search of the bullies, he took her schoolbag off her shoulder and slung it on his shoulder. He wasn’t embarrassed to be seen toting a girly bag.

c. Last, after they finished their business with the gang, he carried her backpack for her again.

She was wearing it in front, and he reached for it and walked away with it. No fuss, no muss.

It’s as if he appointed himself the official bearer of her schoolbag.

If I were to categorize his action, I’d say that it was rather a very boyfriend-ly thing to do. This is a trope in Chinese drama: boyfriends tote their girlfriend’s purse.

Note: it didn’t cross her own brother’s mind to help her with her backpack.

So what’s the meaning of the title, “Hidden approval. My secret”? Whose approval are we talking about?

Well, you may have your interpretation of this, but since you’re here in my blog, I assume that you’re interested in hearing MY take on it.

Here they come.

A. On the meaning of “Hidden approval. My secret”

1. In this episode, Sang Zhi’s feelings for DJ moved beyond the “approval” stage. Could we blame her for falling for him when he’s been treating her so fine?

Their sweet encounters flashed in her mind:

he teased her with the milk bottle to her cheek,
he gifted her with the teddy bear he won at the claw machine,
he treated her soymilk dessert,
he piggy-backed her to the nursing station on field day,
he tended to her scrapes without nagging,
he gave her the money because her allowance was stolen by the bullies, and
he rented a bike and pedaled them home because he didn’t want her riding the bus, given her leg injury,

and hugging her for comfort.

She expressed her explicit approval of him, secretly, on a thin scroll of paper. “I have a secret. As much as I hate to admit it, I think I might be in love with him. With Duan JIaxu.”

Then she folded the paper into a star and hid it in the MILK bottle. Did you get the allusion there? Her wish is a star in the “milky” galaxy? Lol.

Her diary entry for that day:

Oct 27th, Tuesday
I think I might be in love with you.

2. In this episode, Sang Yan approved of DJ’s piling it on with scare tactics on the school bullies.

As her brother, it was Sang Yan’s duty and prerogative to deal with the girls who harassed his younger sister. His intimidation of the girls would have sufficed. But DJ couldn’t help but read the girls the riot act himself because he was enraged with what they did to Sang Zhi.

It was obvious that he was controlling his anger when he learned of their extortion and assault. He was keeping his temper in check in front of Sang Zhi because he didn’t want to scare her further. But even then, he was planning to teach the bullies a lesson they wouldn’t forget. He wanted them to feel the full impact of his anger when he confronted them. He wanted the gang leader, especially, to feel his menace.

Bully: (still defiant) You got the money back. Leave now. Mind your own business.
DJ: (playing with the bully’s cigarette lighter) We got the money. But one more thing. Who is the gang leader?
Bully: (shrinking against the wall as DJ approaches her)
DJ: Are you scared now? (kneeling down to face the girl) Listen now, young girl. Violence cannot solve anything. Only the weak bullies the ones weaker than them. You hear me?
Sang Yan: (interrupting) Focus on your studies and don’t do this again.

Sang Yan walked away first and DJ followed him.

The other thing that struck me about this scene is Sang Yan’s willingness to take the back seat for DJ. Although he already gave the bullies an earful, he didn’t find DJ’s intimidation over-the-top, unnecessary or redundant. DJ acted as if he too had the right and privilege to scare the hell out of the girls.

In comparison, Qian Fei was a silent observer and didn’t take part in scaring the girls.

c. The drawing on the lightbulb = an aspiration for his approval

Even as an 8th grader, Sang Yan wanted to gain DJ’s approval.

She’d said, “If only he really was my brother. He’s the warmest person I know. In moments of need, he always gives me care and strength. I want to grow up faster and become a better person. I want to be just like him, someone who gives warmth others.”

That night, she took out the lightbulb that DJ had intended for her mom’s kitchen. On the light bulb, she sketched Duan Jiaxu petting her head. I interpret her drawing as her secret aspiration to gain his approval. She wanted to be a good person like him. When she turned on the lamp, the light projected the image on the lamp. It functioned as a nightly reminder of her goal.

To me, this is the main point of the title, and it segues nicely into the theme of the next episode when she struggled with physics and didn’t show interest in it until DJ became her tutor. Because she instilled in her head – even when she was sleeping, literally — to seek his approval, she worked hard to raise her score on the subject.

Getting his approval was a main consideration of hers.

B. Things that happened different in the web novel and cdrama

As I explained in my previous write-up, I expect the screenwriter to add and subtract from the original material at will. I’ll list three major differences in this episode. Note: I only skimmed the chapters in web novel relevant to this episode. I had no time to read the entire novel.

a. the bike ride dialogue

source: ahsung’s tumblr

This was missing in the web novel. I consider it a great addition in the drama because for one, it showed DJ genuinely concerned about her future and prepping her adulthood. He counseled her to find some sort of hobby to decompress, like biking. For another, I liked it when he told her that the next time Sang Yan makes fun of her, she should let him know. He meant that he had her back; she could rely on him to defend her against his friend/her brother.

Note: I’m not surprised that this screenwriter added this bike scene because it was one of the sweet moments in Love O2O.

b. the cigarette

In the web novel, DJ retaliated against the bullies more aggressively. To copy the gang leader’s cigarette attack on Sang Zhi, he also lit a cigarette and flicked some of the ashes onto the gang leader’s clothes. He gave her a dose of her medicine…or ashes.

Also, in the web novel, Sang Yan commented on DJ’s fearsome vibes. He said DJ’s “laughter hides a watermelon knife.” Meaning, DJ’s looks are deceiving. Behind his good nature and pretty boy face, he’s an axe-murderer.

I prefer DJ’s confrontational style in the cdrama.

c. the brother-sister argument about money

In the web novel, the whole money exchanging scene between SZ and DJ was more involved. In the web novel, her brother resented that she gave more money to DJ than to him. SZ then argued that he was always taking money from her against her wishes, and that she was merely repaying DJ back the money he lent her after the bullies took her purse.

In this episode, there was no mention of money squabbles between the siblings. Instead, they fought over the lollipop. Sang Yan had given SZ two lollipops. She was sucking on one when they returned after the confrontation with the bullies. While SZ spoke with DJ and returned his money to him, Sang Yan opened the other lollipop and began sucking on it. SZ noticed it.

SZ: What are you doing?
Brother: (confused) What do you mean?
SZ: (taking it away from his mouth) You’re so annoying! Who said you could have it?
The other guys: (snickering)
Brother: Hey! Give it back!
SZ: (putting it in her mouth)
Brother: But I already sucked on it! Do you still want it back? Give it back! Give it back!

Their petty squabble over the lollipop is the reason that one of the guys observed that Sang Zhi seemed more like DJ’s sister than Sang Yan.

Roommate: Why do I get the feeling that she seems more like Jiaxu’s sister?

She didn’t want to share anything with her real brother but with DJ, she didn’t begrudge him a lollipop AND she gave him spending money to buy a candy.

DJ: Kiddo. The way you eat makes you look like a pufferfish.

That’s because with the lollipop in her mouth, her cheek was bulging out like a pufferfish.

SZ: You’re the pufferfish!
DJ: Really? Give me a lollipop then. I’ll show you a handsome pufferfish.

Note: the roommate observed that Sang Zhi didn’t mind sharing a lollipop with DJ.

Lol. Typical! He likes to joke that he’s handsome; it’s a running joke in this cdrama.

In one of the post-drama interviews, the actor teased Zhao Luci and wanted to hear her confirm Duan Jiaxu’s looks.

The guys told DJ to stop teasing her. The roommate must have observed that when DJ teased Sang Zhi didn’t fight back vociferously like she did with Sang Yan.

Brother: Please!
Roommate: (giving him the lollipop) Have mine. Don’t tease her. Here.
DJ: (refusing) Save it for yourself.

So the roommate gave it to Sang Yan who refused it, too. Even Qian Fei didn’t want the candy.

SZ: (searching her bag) Jiaxu Ge.
DJ: Mmm?
SZ: (giving her 20 yuans) Get yourself some candy.
DJ: (taking the money) I was joking! (putting the money back into her hand) Keep it. Buy candy for yourself.
SZ: Think of it as returning your 20 yuans.
DJ: (pausing) Okay. (taking it) Then, thank you for giving me spending money.

And they smiled at each other.

That’s when Sang Zhi saw her brother sucking her lollipop, and got mad at him. Compared to her willingness to give DJ money for candy, she was certainly acting petty and ungrateful. Sang Yan just scared off her bullies and got her money back. What was one lollipop as a thank-you?

That night, the entry in her diary read:
November 11th, Wednesday
Sang Yan said that Jiaxu seems more like my brother.

I like this moment because obviously, the other guys were seeing one thing while Sang Zhi and Duan Jiaxu were thinking of another thing entirely. The guys weren’t privy to SZ and DJ’s private conversation about lending money should the need arose. The guys regarded the scene as Sang Zhi acting like a younger sister to DJ, when Sang Zhi didn’t feel sisterly at all toward him.

Remember what she wrote the previous night in the star. I like the idea that she was living a double life, coolly.