Sometimes when I write these reviews, I wonder if mothers felt this way when they read fairy tales to their daughters.

source: today.com

Chapter 5. Secretly. The name engraved in my heart

The featured object is the flowerpot in the Science Museum.

Not to be nitpicky, but Duan JiaXu (DJ) told Sang Zhi to put both hands on top of the flowerpot to trigger the thermoelectric sensing mechanism.

According to him, the flowerpot could sense the temperature of her palms with the thermoelectric sensor, then convert the change in temperature into a change in power. Consequently, the animation was activated which showed flowers blooming and attracting butterflies.

When they did their pinky promise over the flowerpot, however, neither of their hands were on top of the flowerpot. Their hands were hovering above the pot — not touching it — yet the flowers bloomed. I wondered whether the sensor was very sensitive….

Or the animation was meant to be a fancy foreshadowing of their romance.

At any rate, I think I know why the flowerpot is the featured object in this episode. It’s because the pot was the highlight of their museum trip. In turn, the museum trip was pivotal in altering the course of Sang Zhi’s relationship with Jiaxu. Not only did she get him to promise her two things during the trip, she also managed to lose her artbook. And because she lost her artbook, she had to lie about a mythical boyfriend.

The significance of the title

In one sense, the title celebrates the moment when Sang Zhi finally learned the spelling of his name. DJ handed her his resume so she could inspect his credentials to tutor physics, but all she was interested in was the spelling of “Duan Jianxu.”

Now that she could spell his name, she could figuratively engrave his name in her heart.

But in another sense, the title foretells the burden of being in a one-sided crush.

What do I mean?

1. First, his name was engraved in her heart because given her age, and their age difference, it was impossible for her to tell him how she felt.

She could only express her feelings indirectly, obliquely, vaguely, cryptically. That’s how she broached the topic of dating (or to be precise, not dating) with DJ.

SZ: Jaixu Ge.
DJ: Mmm.
SZ: Can you not be in a relationship?
DJ: Mmm? What do you mean?

He was caught off-guard by her demand. He didn’t know that Sang Zhi had always been thinking of the future. Hadn’t she been questioning him about his plans after he graduated? She was planning ahead.

SZ: Don’t have you a dream, too? If you get into a relationship, you’ll delay your dream.

Lol. She was appealing to his work ethics. She couldn’t say outright that a) she didn’t want him to date other women while he was back in his hometown Yihe, and b) she wanted him to wait for her to grow up. She was aware of their age difference. So, she couched her request for him to live a single life as an “innocent” concern for his career.

But DJ protested.

DJ: I’m almost done with university. Do I still need to avoid dating for the sake of my studies? Why don’t you say this to your brother?
SZ: But I… I did.

I think she was lying.

DJ: What did he say?
SZ: He said, “Go away, little demon!”
DJ: (chuckling)
SZ: I’m saying this because my classmate’s brother had a girlfriend. But that girl treated my classmate really badly.

Now, she was appealing to his pity. She wanted him to reconsider getting a girlfriend because his girlfriend might mistreat her, too. She was making an unfair generalization that all girlfriends mistreat the younger sisters of their boyfriends.

DJ: How so?
SZ: I don’t know.

Now, I think she was lying too about the existence of this classmate. She said the girlfriend treated her classmate badly but she couldn’t cite a single example of the abuse/mistreatment.

DJ: She treated your classmate badly?
SZ: (changing topic) Moreover, if you have a girlfriend, you won’t be able to be so nice to me.
DJ: (grinning) Now you realize that I’m nice to you!

Lol. They showed different reactions. While she was peevish because he could no longer continue indulging her once he had a girlfriend, he was delighted that she was finally appreciating all he’d done for her because she was afraid of him of losing him to a girlfriend.

DJ: (continuing) Why are you thinking that far ahead? If you don’t see me for a couple of years, you might forget about me.

He was saying that, between the two of them, he was actually at a disadvantage. When it came to moving on, she was more likely to forget than he was.

SZ: (not looking at him)
DJ: How about this? In the future, I’ll find a gentle girlfriend who treats you well. This way you will have one more person who is good to you. All right?
SZ: (not answering)
DJ: Hmmm?

She didn’t answer because she wasn’t satisfied with that arrangement. She was adamant that he stayed single and dated no one.

SZ: Fine. (suddenly, thinking of another “clause” or pre-condition) When you find one, can you show her to me first?

In other words, she was demanding veto powers. Her (nefarious) plan was to keep on vetoing his prospective girlfriend until she could join him at his side as an adult.

DJ: Fine. I’ll show you when I find one. I’ll remember that.
SZ: (smiling)

Do you see what I mean? She couldn’t tell him directly that it would break her silly heart if he started dating someone. She didn’t want him to date while he was in YiHe. But how could she tell him when she wasn’t supposed to feel affection for any guy, more so somebody older like DJ? So, she had to block DJ from entering into a relationship with another woman in a roundabout way.

That said, I have to give her credit for speaking up.

2. Second, DJ’s name had to remain engraved in her heart only — as opposed to being exposed and divulged — because she didn’t want him to discover that she’d drawn him many times in her sketchpad. It would have been as mortifying – if not more so – as when she had the menstrual accident.

She drew him petting the neighbor’s dog.
She drew him as a dog sipping milk from the bottle. (Note: there’s a little girl on the side with a heart floating)
She drew him as he slept on the couch before starting tutoring.
And lastly, she drew them doing a pinky promise over the flowerpot.

SZ: (facepalming) What would I do if Jiaxu GE sees it?!

She was naturally embarrassed. Her drawings would have given away her feelings for him and she didn’t want that.

Ironically, it was DJ who was sensitive to not causing her embarrassment. When and Sang Yan caught her taking photos of them, he reminded Sang Yan that “Kids her age naturally have some sense of pride.” Meaning, they should allow Sang Zhi to save face.

When DJ returned her sketch pad without saying a word, she jumped to conclusion that he’d seen her drawings and was avoiding her out of awkwardness.

So she invented a lie to cover up her artwork.

3. Third, DJ’s name was engraved in her heart – had to remain engraved in her heart only — because she told a lie. She lied that she was dating somebody online so DJ wouldn’t suspect that she was interested in him more than a brother or friend.

And, like most lies, her lie assumed a life of its own. It became bigger and bigger when DJ questioned her about her mystery guy.

DJ: (acting unbothered) I heard from your brother that you’re dating online.
SZ: Mmm.
DJ: How did you meet him? Tell me.
SZ: (protesting) You don’t have to be so nosy!
DJ: What’s wrong with caring about you? Huh?

Sigh. He should stop saying stuff like this because it was bound to mess up the poor girl’s heart. Sure, he cared about her, but that still didn’t give him any right to pry about her love life. That was none of his business. They weren’t related.

DJ: You asked me not to date, but you did it yourself.

Do I detect a tinge of resentment? Lol. Why did he bring that up? If he reviewed their conversation, there was no mention of Sang Zhi’s dating life and there was no MUTUAL agreement NOT to date other people. He was the only one who couldn’t date without getting Sang Zhi’s prior consent…but he had no say on Sang Zhi’s dating life.

SZ: (thinking to herself) From what he just said, he likely believed that the one I like is the non-existent online boyfriend.

She realized that her plan to deflect and obfuscate the identity of her crush succeeded.

DJ: So was it your young boyfriend who asked you to meet him?
SZ: Mmm.
DJ: (taking a bite of his cracker) How old is he?

My two comments:

a. Taking a bite on the cracker was his way to displace his anger on food. He probably wished he was biting off the head of SZ’s online boyfriend.

b. But why was he asking about the age? Why was he particularly interested in knowing the age? If I were him, I would’ve asked on which social media did the two meet.

SZ: He’s graduating from university soon.
DJ: How old did you say he was?
SZ: Twenty-something.
DJ: (scoffing) Where did he tell you to meet him?
SZ: In Yihe.
DJ: (changing seats) Sang Zhi. Tell me. Does your old boyfriend know how old you are?

Sang Zhi looked at him to gauge his feelings. It was obvious that he was keeping his temper in check so she didn’t answer him verbally.

She couldn’t meet his eyes. Awww…

SZ: (just nodding her head)
DJ: (silently taking out his phone) What’s his phone number?

He handed her phone to her, expecting to dial the number.

SZ: (shaking her head)
DJ: Are you covering for him?!

He tugged his sleeves. Ha! That was body language for “No more Mr. Nice Guy here. I’m getting to the bottom of this nonsense, whether you like it or not, Sang Zhi.” He was upset.

DJ: Sang Zhi. I don’t want to lose my temper with you. But you need to know that your family has your best interests at heart. They won’t let you date online because they believe it will harm you. You can’t be in a relationship until you graduate from high school and become an adult. Once you’re in college, you can do whatever you want. No one will stop you. Do you hear me?
SZ: (Nodding her head) But I can’t resist the temptation….

My comments:

a. When he questioned Sang Zhi about her online boyfriend, it struck me that he had given HIS own reasons for keeping his distance with Sang Zhi. He looked up to Sang Zhi’s parents and he didn’t want to cause them worries and to betray their confidence in him. He knew they wouldn’t have approved of a guy like him dating somebody like Sang Zhi so he consciously drew the line.

b. If you ask me, I think Jiaxu was demonstrating a bit of a dog-in-the-manger attitude here. He didn’t like the idea that another guy (a guy his age, to boot) was dating her when he categorically ruled out dating her because of her age, and their age difference. In his mind, he was probably thinking that the other guy should have played by the same rules as he was.

c. It was none of his beeswax. He wasn’t her brother.

d. In order to maintain the lies, Sang Zhi couldn’t reveal the real name and identity of her crush. Jiaxu’s name had to remain only engraved in her heart.

Moving on, to my other interpretations of the title. Two more!!

4. Fourth, Jiaxu’s name was engraved in her heart because it wasn’t the right time to reveal affection.

As he said, she couldn’t be dating until she graduated from high school and became an adult. She knew as well that, in his eyes, she was half-child and half-budding-woman. She had to bide her time; she couldn’t rush things.

5. Lastly, — and this was the most obvious reason — his name was engraved in her heart because there was only one person for her for the rest of her life. She wasn’t going to love somebody else.

To recap my explanation of the title, his name was engraved in her heart – and had to remain hidden there – because:

• it wasn’t easy to openly express her feelings to DJ given their circumstances.
• she had to hide that she liked to make sketches him.
• she lied about the real identity of her love and had to keep lying to save face.
• the timing was all wrong to be in a relationship, and she was willing to wait.
• she only had one love and his name was engraved in her heart already.

Overall, I say that this episode was tightly written. If you speed through it — and I wish the viewers my daughters wouldn’t — you’ll miss the connections. So go slowly and do not rush the unfolding of the story and your reflections.