Chapter 10: Joke. Give me a reason to forget
Featured Object: Hospital bed with a cross

1. The joke

It’s said that laughter is the best medicine, but during Jiaxu’s hospital stay, the bedside humor wasn’t the miracle cure but the catalyst of Sang Zhi’s heartache.

Old Man: Boy, is this your wife?
DJ: Sir. How did you come to the conclusion that she is my wife?
Old Man: She’s beautiful.
SZ: Thank you.
DJ: Sir, this is my meimei. Not my wife.
Old Man: I know your wife is pretty.
Old Man’s son: I’m sorry. My dad is hard of hearing. Dad, that’s his meimei. Not his wife. A brother cannot marry his sister.
Old Man: Huh? Are you two not married yet? Boy, you don’t look young anymore. Why aren’t you married yet? Don’t keep the young lady waiting.
DJ: Sir. Please stop making me laugh. I have a wound on my stomach.
Old Man: Boy, I’m not joking. You need to get a move on. Your wife is pretty and so caring. Look at her carrying all these bags here. You must cherish her or else, you’ll regret it later.
SZ: (trying to interrupt)
DJ: (not looking up from his laptop) Okay, I understand. (telling SZ) He has poor hearing. Don’t mind him. Just think of it as a joke.
SZ: (mentally getting upset) A joke? You shouldn’t joke about these things. (turning to Old Man) Sir. He is not my partner. He is too old to be my partner.
DJ: (stopping from typing to stare at her)
SZ: He is old enough to be my dad.
DJ: (glances at the Old Man)
Old Man: It’s great to be a dad! Once you two get married, hurry up and have a child.
DJ: (starts to grin because the joke backfired on Sang Zhi)
Old Man: You’ll settle down. That is more important than anything.
SZ: (giving up) I’ll go and eat.
DJ: Eat more. Order more.
SZ: (ignoring him)
Old Man: Why is your wife leaving?
DJ: (shouting) My wife is going to eat. To dinner.
SZ: (muttering under her breath) That’s not something to joke about.

My comments:

a. I think that in the beginning, Jiaxu attempted to parry the Old Man’s awkward question, “Is this your wife?” with a question of his own, “How did you reach that conclusion?”

He knew that Sang Zhi would feel uncomfortable with this talk about marriage, given that, just a day ago, they accidentally kissed.

b. As usual, he used the “meimei” excuse to avoid a lengthy explanation of his complicated relationship with Sang Zhi.

He did this at his graduation when he didn’t want to tell his school buddies who she was. When you think about it, it was that simple to introduce her as Sang Yan’s little sister or his friend’s sister or a family friend. But none of these terms would have rationalized WHY she was there with him, instead of her own family. Remember what I said: Jiaxu actually delayed her from joining her dad and brother.

Same thing in the hospital. This wasn’t the time for an exposition of his relationship with her.

The way I see it, “meimei” was his catchall to codify his feelings for her. It’s comparable to the letter “x” in algebra. It’s variable and the value is not yet known and still to be determined.

meimei = x

c. When he told her to regard the Old Man’s comments as a joke, he meant that she shouldn’t be fazed and be offended by them. But his advice had the opposite effect on her. She got more even offended when he told her NOT to be offended.

At first, I thought she was only annoyed with him because there’s a Chinese superstition on marriage that he was flouting. Like, he can’t joke about marriage because it would curse her to single life. I only realized at the end that she was protecting her feelings.

d. She retaliated by bringing up his age. As soon as she joked about their age difference, he looked up from his laptop. He didn’t like that.

The following morning, Sang Zhi woke up to the sound of Jiaxu typing on his laptop. Side note: I like that he had thoughtfully drawn the curtains so she wouldn’t wake up to sunlight streaming into the room.

She told him she shouldn’t have brought his laptop because he wouldn’t stop working. She was nagging him to rest and recuperate from his surgery when the Old Man walked in.

Old Man: Are you having a lovers’ spat so early? When is the wedding?
DJ: Sir. We’re not like that. We’re not getting married.
Old Man: Are you not getting married? That won’t do! She’s a beautiful girl and she’s taking care of you. How can you do this to her?
DJ: Okay. We’ll do as you say. We’ll get married.
Old Man: That’s more like it. You two are a perfect match. You will be happy together.
SZ: (speaking to DJ) I’ll get you some water.
DJ: Sir, she’s too young. She’s not of legal age yet. Maybe in two years.
SZ: (muttering again as she exited the room) Stop this joke!

My comments:

a. After last night’s dig about his age, it was Jiaxu’s turn to crack a joke about her age. He just had to comeback with that. Tit-for-tat.

I laughed when he pointed out that she wasn’t of legal age yet. Minimum age for women to legally marry in China is 20 years old; for men, it’s 22.

b. He’s probably prescient. Won’t he end up marrying her in two years’ time? Or is four?

I also thought that he made sure to follow up his joke with “Maybe in two years.” To my ears, he was SUBTLY letting her know that he was OPEN to marrying her when she was of age. If SHE was willing, he would like to marry her then.

c. Frankly, I found the Old Man’s standards for a wife to be inadequate. She only had to be beautiful and servile?! What about education, childbearing capacity, lineage, blood type, zodiac sign, connections, and dowry?

d. They did behave like a long-married couple: one minute, nagging each other; then, the next minute, serving each other and doing kind things without a fuss.

Then, it was time for Jiaxu and Sang Zhi to go home.

Old Man: Are you getting discharged?
DJ: That’s right, sir. Please rest well and recover soon.
Old Man: All right. You two get a long now, okay?
DJ: We will, sir.
SZ: Sir. We’ll get married soon.
DJ: (surprised)

Old Man: That’s good!
SZ: Get well soon.
Old Man: Take care of each other. Get along.
SZ: (taking bags from DJ) Let’s go.

My comments:

a. This is Sang Zhi in her “take charge” mode. She took charge of packing his clothes. She took charge of the conversation with the Old Man. And she took charge of his bags. When she was in this mode, she was an unstoppable force.

b. Looking back, they should have viewed this time of living in close quarters as a time of assessing their compatibility. It was a reality check. If they could survive being with each other in such minuscule space (i.e., the area of the hospital bed) for days on end, then they could survive marriage.

c. Too bad Sang Zhi didn’t see his face when SHE joked about getting married. He looked surprised and amused, but he didn’t look grossed out.

d. When the Old Man said, “Take care of each other. Get along,” they assumed that he was just expressing the standard formalities of goodbye. They didn’t know that he had seen through their acts, especially Jiaxu’s. He observed him tenderly taking care of Sang Zhi when he thought nobody was around to see. So the Old Man was really advising them to CONTINUE taking care of each other, even secretly, if it needed to be.

Then, outside the hospital, Jiaxu asked her about it.

DJ: “We’ll get married soon”?
SZ: You’re the one who started this joke.
DJ: I’ll get that.
SZ: I told you I’ll carry it!

Nice acting! She used her (diminutive) height to her advantage. He couldn’t bend down because of his surgical wound.

DJ: (surprised) Are you really upset?
SZ: (ignoring him at first)

A public service announcement for clueless men: It upsets us women even more when you HAVE TO ask if we’re upset, and why we’re upset. Where’s your comprehension level at? 

SZ: (finally speaking up) Don’t make jokes like that anymore.

I’ve to give her credit. First, she didn’t give him the cold shoulder all the way home. Second, she was way calmer that I expected her to be.

DJ: Well, I’ve been in the hospital for so long. I was bored. I apologize.
SZ: Does being bored make it okay to make jokes at my expense? You’re unbelievable. (leaving him in a huff)
DJ: (perplexed)

At first glance, it seemed like Sang Zhi couldn’t take a joke. But she explained why this joke was a sore spot for her, and it made perfect sense to me.

SZ: The feelings that I’ve been hiding for the past two years probably don’t mean the same to him. Maybe in his heart, we’ll never be anything more than brother and sister. That’s why he can make jokes like that.

Let’s break this down, shall we?

My comments:

a. Remember what I told you all in the previous episode that she was NOT saying “goodbye” when she put away the stuffed toys? That she was really only saying “See you later” and HIDING her affections for him? And that her brother Sang Yan got it all WRONG when he told their parents that she was done with her first love?

Here’s your proof.

b. She thought she misread the situation.

When he told her that he was happy to hear that she was coming to YiHe, she allowed herself to hope that he meant it in a non-platonic way.

c. She also thought that she had a fighting chance to change his mind.

In fact, she thought she was doing a pretty job of convincing him that she was a responsible adult. With him incapacitated, she could show him that she was a boss.

SZ: Jiaxu Ge, I’m going to class. Let me know if you need anything. I’ll bring it tonight.
DJ: Perfect. Go to my place and get my laptop from my study. The keys are in my jacket pocket. I’ll send you the address later.
SZ: What do you need the laptop for?
DJ: For work, of course.
SZ: But you’re ill. You should focus on resting. Even if you do your work now, your boss won’t pay you extra.
DJ: It’s too bad. I live for tech.
SZ: Oh. Got it. But I still won’t bring the laptop over. I’ll take care of the rest.

DJ: (sighing loudly, dropping his flask, and shaking head to get her attention)
SZ: What’s wrong?
DJ: Hearing your lecture me makes me realize that our Sang Zhi has grown up.
SZ: (flexing) I am grown up. I’m not a kid anymore. Did you just realize that? I’m off.

Lol. That’s a hair flex. Instead of flexing with muscles like a guy would, she flexed with her hair.

She flounced out of the room.

That’s her way of saying, “Hmph! Have you been living under the rock? Of course, I’m a grown up!” If she had been American, she would have given him a hair flip as she exited the room, like this.

Lol. But Sang Zhi’s style suits her perfectly.

d. Remember that she had a crush on Jiaxu since she was in 8th grade.

Back then, she wished that she would grow up quickly and be like him. In her own words,

“If only he really was my brother. He’s the warmest person I know. In moments of need, he always gives me care and strength. I want to grow up faster and become a better person. I want to be just like him, someone who gives warmth others.”

But despite growing up, striving to be a better person, following him to YiHe, and caring for him, she would naturally be dismayed that Jiaxu considered the idea of marrying her preposterous, like a joke.

Wasn’t this the same Jiaxu who advised her to be kind when rejecting a suitor? Well, he wasn’t being nice rejecting her.

e. From her perspective, he sister-zoned her.

This is the moment when the realization hit her that she’d been sister-zoned or “meimei”-zoned —

2. The joke’s on him, too: friend-zoned/Gege-zoned

The joke cuts both ways.

To me, Sang Zhi shouldn’t feel distressed about being meimei-zoned because she too had hurt Jiaxu with her joke. Did you miss her joke?

On their first night at the hospital, she too had friend-zoned him or Gege-zoned him.

Sang Zhi was checking her phone messages when she accidentally clicked on her voice mail. It was her male friend asking if she was at the cinema already. She quickly glanced over at Jiaxu to check whether he was sleeping. Because it didn’t look as if he was disturbed by her voice mail, she thought that he was sleeping.

But then, he spoke.

DJ: You can’t sleep? Do you need to finish listening to the voice message?

He assumed that she was going through her voice mail. He probably assumed too that Sang Zhi had missed a movie date night because she was attending to him at the hospital.

SZ: Jiaxu Ge, why did you pretend to be asleep?!
DJ: All I did was to be quiet. I didn’t pretend to be asleep.
SZ: (accusatory) That’s pretending to be asleep. You were even eavesdropping.

He was pretending to be asleep. But he wasn’t eavesdropping. It wasn’t his fault that she played her voice messages.

DJ: Eavesdropping? Hey! You were the one who played the message out loud. You’re still young but you already know how to make false claims.
SZ: I’m not talking to you anymore. I’m going to sleep. Good night.
DJ: Can you fall asleep?
SZ: It’s time for bed anyway.
DJ: Come on. Chat with me. Mmm?
SZ: About what?
DJ: Finish playing that voice message. Let me see who wants to ask you out to a movie.

Nope. The voice message was none of his business.

SZ: (pointing out) You don’t know him.
DJ: I will once you tell me all about him. I’ll judge him for you.
SZ: Why? We’re just going to the movies.
DJ: I’m just worried because you’re naïve and might get played.

Yes, I could think of three reasons he wanted to know about these guys. One, plain curiosity. Two, anxiety. As he said, Sang Zhi was still young and gullible in his eyes. Three, hidden jealousy. He wanted to know who she was hanging out with.

SZ: Well, I could spend all night talking about guys because there are so many of them.
DJ: (turning to look at her) Our Sang Zhi is so popular.

Note the undercurrent here because Sang Zhi missed it. Yes, he could definitely see how she was popular. He would have to be blind not to see her beauty — and amnesiac, too, if he’d already forgotten her charm when she was younger. But if you pay attention to the undercurrent, then you can detect the wistfulness in his remark.

SZ: Mm. It’s because I’m pretty.

DJ: (turning silent)
SZ: (wondering to herself) Why isn’t he saying anything?

She was expecting a comeback from him so it disturbed her when he didn’t answer. She didn’t know whether he:

a) agreed with her that she looked pretty,
b) disagreed with her that she looked pretty,
c) thought that she was bragging
d) knew that she was just joking.

She continued poking the bear…or joking with him.

SZ: Jiaxu Ge. Look. People your age should be asleep at this hour. Don’t always try to pry into the lives of young people. You don’t understand our world. You won’t get it even if I tell you about it.
DJ: (sighing) Fine. I don’t know anything.

That’s HER joke on Jiaxu.

The funny thing is we all saw Jiaxu joking about marrying her. But many of us gave her a pass when she joked about his age and her popularity. She made him sound like a has-been who couldn’t understand a popular and much-sought-after girl like her.

More importantly, her joke made him feel shunned and unwanted. This was a reversal. When she was young, she thought the world of Jiaxu Ge and accepted his gifts and special favors with great delight. But when she grew up, she wanted him out of her world and mocked his old age.

So as he laid in bed, he must be keenly feeling the friend zone (or Gege zone).

Lol. This camera shot reminded me of Spongebob and the great brick wall of Friend Zone.

Do you see now how the jokes in this episode CUT both ways?

3. The hospital bed

To me, it makes sense that the hospital bed is the featured object in this episode. It witnessed a lot of these jokes. If it were a person, it could be asked to testify at the witness stand that these two silly people were killing each other with their punchlines.

4. “Give me a reason to forget,” part 1 

For Sang Zhi, her reason to forget him was a no-brainer. She couldn’t leave his apartment fast enough. Once outside, she told herself that it was all for the best.

SZ: This is fine. After all, I’m just his little sister.

And she changed her phone setting, designated him as “Brother No. 2.”

5. “Give me a reason to forget,” part 2

But poor Jiaxu! How could he find a single reason to forget her when she had left so many reminders in his apartment? Everywhere he turned there was a message from her.

On the dining table: “Eat on time.”
On the fridge: “No milk nor eggs. Eat foods high in fiber.”
On the sofa: “Don’t sit for too long. Get up and move.”
On the wall by the light switch: “No staying up late.”

It was impossible for him to forget her when she was leaving him notes. Even when she was around, he was reminded of her.

And even when she wasn’t around to see them, he answered all her messages.

She wrote: “No staying up late.”
He answered: “That’s a little hard.”

She wrote: “Eat on time.”
He answered: “I’ve eaten.”

She wrote: “Don’t sit for too long. Get up and walk around.”
He answered: “I’m off.”

I’m not surprised by this, though. This was so just like him. He texted her those messages when he knew that her phone was confiscated.

So, to me, that’s the conundrum in the Chapter episode “Joke. Give me a reason to forget.” Their jokes exposed that they had good enough reasons to forget each other: her age, his age, this impossible meimei-, gege-, friend-zones. However, none of these reasons was enough to pull them apart from each other. They were still connected despite the walls, the zones, and the hurt feelings.