Chapter 13. Feeling you out. I guess you’re falling too
Featured Object: Bracelet

Though the title is self-explanatory, let me see if I can add a few things that may have been overlooked during this episode.

A. “Feeling you out”

To feel somebody out is to probe somebody’s feelings, opinions, and views about an issue (usually a touchy topic) in an indirect, cautious, discreet, or roundabout manner. How do we “feel somebody out”? Well, sometimes, you pretend to be asking for a friend. Sometimes, you ask a hypothetical question. Sometimes, you make a small suggestion. Sometimes, you joke about it.

In this episode, both Jiaxu and Sang Zhi put out feelers to test the reaction of the other person. Let’s see how.

1. Duan Jiaxu’s feelers

He was giving Sang Zhi a hard time because he was unreasonably jealous of Jiang Ming who gave Sang Zhi a hamburger.

DJ: What about the guy who came out with you yesterday? The one who is 195 cm tall and just gave you a hamburger. Is he also your roommate?
SZ: No, that’s my roommate’s boyfriend’s friend.
DJ: Is he the one?

(Meaning, the guy she had been crying about the previous night. She said the guy was a “ladies’ man” or somebody who was like an air-conditioner, providing cold air to everybody in the room.)

SZ: What do you mean?
DJ: The guy you like. Is it him?
SZ: (not answering)
DJ: Is he?
SZ: No.
DJ: No? So tell me. If that isn’t your type, what is?
SZ: I don’t want to. Jiaxu Ge. The bubble –

She wanted to distract him by telling him to stop snapping his bubblegum. If I were her, I’d get nervous with that snapping sound. It sounded like he was cracking a whip and threatening to whip me if I gave one “wrong” answer.

DJ: (interrupting her) Is it a guy who is cute and fragile looking? Huh?
SZ: No. He…he is manly.
DJ: Huh?! Manly?!
SZ: Yes.
DJ: You like (looking down at himself) muscular guys? Is that it?

See that? Notice how he looked down at his chest? The director switched camera angles so we wouldn’t miss it.

He was “feeling her out.” He wanted to know her type so he could check himself against her ideal guy. Remember his confession to her while she was passed out? He said he would like to become the guy she liked.

Hence, he was inquiring about the admirable qualities of her crush so he could convert himself to match those ideals. Of course, there was nothing subtle, indirect, discreet, or cautious about the way he asked her questions.

Jiang Ming was visibly muscular and he wasn’t.

SZ: No.
DJ: No muscles but is manly. Also, he’s nice to everybody. But the guy you described sounds like a jerk.
SZ: He’s not a jerk.
DJ: He is!
SZ: He isn’t! Ugh! You’re so nosy!
DJ: I’m nosy?! I’ve never met a guy like that in my life!
SZ: (frustrated) Gosh!
DJ: I’m just curious.
SZ: You’re so nosy! Can you stop asking?
DJ: Fine. I won’t ask anymore.
SZ: (thinking to herself) If you’re so curious, you should just look at yourself in the mirror.

After being harassed like that, Sang Zhi wouldn’t let him off easily without retaliation. She went on a counteroffensive.

SZ: Jiaxu Ge.
DJ: Yes?
SZ: You…you’re already in your 20s. Why don’t you get a girlfriend instead of bothering me?
DJ: Where would I get a girlfriend? Why don’t you introduce one to me?
SZ: That won’t do. I only know girls around my age.
DJ: Around your age?
SZ: (looking downhearted)
DJ: I’m fine with that.

I’m sure he was faking his calm demeanor here.

SZ: (perking up and turning to look at him) What do you mean?
DJ: The literal meaning.
SZ: (frowning, thinking to herself) Is he teasing me? He has never said something like this to me before.

I knew he was feigning his unconcern and nonchalance here because he fixed his tie. Look: his tie didn’t need adjustment. And useless tie-fixing is a common body language among men that’s a dead giveaway for nervousness and/or anxiety.

He was nervous because he was feeling out her opinion on a man his age dating a girl her age. He was worried how she would take it and how she would answer.

2. Sang Zhi’s feelers

She was going through box of treasures from him. The Guerlain “Abeille Royale” gift set had a note, “Sang Zhi, Happy 18th Birthday.” On Youku, the translation was “Sang Zhi, Happy coming-of-age day!”

She recalled that he said he was fine dating girls her age and wondered if he truly meant that. So she texted him.

Note: I’m using the Youku sub because it specified the age. Netflix didn’t mention the age. Jiaxu used the term “minor” while Sang Zhi used “adult.”

SZ: Jiaxu Ge. I think Yan has a girlfriend.
DJ: Huh?
SZ: It’s a younger girl.
DJ: (smiling) Is she 18 years old?
SZ: Is it fine as long as she’s 18 years old?

On Youku, the number was specified so they weren’t skirting around the issue.

There! She was feeling him out to find out if he really was fine with the idea of a 24-year-old dating a 19-year-old. But instead of asking him directly, she had used her brother’s dating life as an excuse to broach the subject.

He paused to think of his answer. Note: instead of texting his response, he sent a voice message. I thought this was a great distinction that was made by the director or screenwriter. Given a voice message rather than a text message made it more personal for them both. He was saying his own thoughts on the issue aloud.

DJ: Isn’t she considered an adult if she has grown up and is already in college? Why not?

After that, he reflected on it some more.

DJ: (worriedly) She’s just asking about Sang Yan, right? It’s acceptable when it happens to somebody else. But if it were to happen to her perhaps she would find it hard to accept. After all to her, I’m just a big brother.

On her end, she was also pondering over it.

SZ: Had we only met each other now, when I’d be 19 and he’d be 24, he would have seen me as somebody his age. Sadly, it won’t happen. Probably in his eyes I’m always a 14-year-old child who’s just his friend’s younger sister.

Do you see it? There’s a yin-yang going on between them about their age difference. But this would resolve in the epilogue. I’ll show you in a bit.

B. “I guess you’re falling too”

I’ll begin with Sang Zhi’s example because, as usual, it’s obvious. From the perspective of the audience, it’s the not-so-secret secret love in this cdrama.

1. Sang Zhi’s light bulb moment

She became aware that he was falling for her, too, when she received the fox bracelet from him. She looked up the meaning of bracelet and according to the internet the Chinese word for bracelet sounds like “cherished love.” Supposedly, it’s a gift for lovers.

2. Duan Jiaxu’s light bulb moment

As for Jiaxu, his awareness was slow in coming. I say his light bulb was rather dim so his enlightenment came in three stages.

Stage 1 was during his lunch with Qian Fei.

It was his friend who drew his attention to the possibility that Sang Zhi had fallen in love with him, TOO. (And I say TOO because I believe that he’d always been in love with her.)

QF: What kind of girl is she?
DJ: She’s a young lady. She’s a bit younger. (quickly adding) You don’t know her.

He didn’t want Qian Fei to find out, of course, because he was a big blabbermouth. Wasn’t QF the one who spread the lie that he was going on blind dates?

QF: What’s wrong with being young so long as she isn’t a minor? Pursue her if she’s of legal age. Or I’ll look down on you.
DJ: It’s not like that. I feel somewhat guilty about it.

Let this be clear. He didn’t feel guilty because of Sang Zhi’s age. She was already of legal age. He felt guilty for bothering her with his nonplatonic affections when she only saw him as a Gege. It would be inconsiderate of him to force his unwanted attention on her.

QF: Guilty? Aren’t you worried that she’ll get taken?
DJ: That’s normal. If she meets a good guy, I’ll be happy for her.

It’s normal to worry that another guy will take her. However, according to him, if she meets a GOOD guy, then the situation is tolerable.

Shhhh…he was lying.

Remember what he said in the car?

So he lied to Qian Fei. It was a social lie. He couldn’t openly admit that he wouldn’t like it one bit, especially to Qian Fei. Some things are meant to be private, to be hidden.

QF: Does that mean she has someone she likes?
DJ: Mmm.
QF: That girl is impressive to take no interest in you. Duan JIaxu, don’t be sad. What kind of guy does she like? I’ll analyze it and give you advice. Tell me.
DJ: Well, this guy is quite a flirt. He is a ladies’ man and nice to everyone. He might even be a bit shameless.
QF: Isn’t that you?
DJ: Are you insulting me?
QF: No. Is there any chance that she’s talking about you?
DJ: Impossible. I’ve met that guy before. His image fits her description quite well. He’s quite flirty. He’s such a jerk.

He meant Jiang Ming, of course. He thought JM was a flirt. And he was getting a bit riled up as he recalled that JM brought Sang Zhi a burger early in the morning.

QF: Maybe not. You see, one speaks contrary to their mind in front of their crush.

He meant that one has tendency to be in *denial* when in front of their crush. He proceeded to give an example of his crush during their college years. It wouldn’t do to tell his crush that she was his ideal girl, so he invented a person based on her personalities.

DJ: You made up a girl based on her?
QF: (nodding his head)
DJ: (rejecting the idea) It’s not possible. (then reconsiders) But it’s possible.
QF: Right? I swear to you I haven’t met may guys who fit that description better than you.

Then DJ wondered to himself, “The guy she likes is me?”

The look on his face told me that he was scheming something.

Stage 2 was during the wedding dinner. He gave Sang Zhi the third degree about her crush. She became flustered when he pressed her for more info about the guy and she couldn’t keep her story straight.

He realized that Qian Fei was right. Sang Zhi invented a nonexistent guy based on him to fend him off. She felt awkward when he was curious about her crush so she faked one to end his nosy questions.

Stage 3 was the epilogue, when he drove her home and flirted with her. 

To me, his flirtation was out-of-character but deliberate. He was pretending to be Sang Zhi’s crush.

Remember this from the previous episode?

And remember his description of the guy Sang Zhi liked? He told Qian Fei that Sang Zhi liked a guy who was a) a flirt, b) a ladies’ man and nice to everyone, and c) a bit shameless.

So in his devious mind, he became THAT guy.

The minute he walked into the ballroom, he was playing a role: a guy that Sang Zhi liked. She liked a “ladies’ man,” didn’t she? So he would give her a ladies’ man.

His unwitting victim was…who else? Sang Yan. He flirted like mad with Sang Yan.

Sure, we could tell right away that he was goading Sang Yan in order to get him to switch places with Sang Zhi. He wanted Sang Zhi to sit beside him. But he was also flirting with Sang Yan because he wanted to catch Sang Zhi’s attention. Look at the way he made sure Sang Zhi noticed when he called her older brother, “Gege.”

Note that he fixed his tie again before he sat down. He was nervous about the performance he was about to give.

DJ: (patting SY’s shoulder) You’re so well-dressed today.
SY: Jiaxu, say something nice. I’ll give you a red packet for New Year.
DJ: (eyes looking at Sang Zhi) It’s hard to say something nice about you. Why don’t I call you “darling brother”?
SY: Call me brother. I’m fine with brother.
SZ: (side-eying him)
DJ: (looking at SZ before moving closer to SY) Darling brother.

And just like that, the show was on. He was putting on a performance for Sang Zhi.

The whole table: Ewww. Is he drunk already?
DJ: (looking at SZ with a smile)

Don’t you get what he was doing? He was teasing Sang Yan but his eyes were on Sang Zhi all the time. He was doing this for Sang Zhi.

SY: Who are you trying to gross out?

Good question. The obvious answer was Sang Yan, of course. Jiaxu wanted him to exchange seats. The not-so-obvious answer is Sang Zhi. He wanted Sang Zhi to see what a flirtatious guy he could be and be grossed out.

The classmates: Jiaxu, you two have become grosser since university.
DJ: (whining) Darling brother, they’re badmouthing me.

He grabbed the red packet from Sang Yang.

DJ: This is mine now. Starting today, Sang Yan is my darling brother.
SY: Are you insane?
DJ: (grinning at…Sang Zhi!)

He was enjoying this. He was making a public spectacle, but as I said, his eyes were solely on her. He wanted her to see that he could flirt like nobody’s business.

The classmates: Sang Yan, give in. It’s okay. Sure. It makes me cringe.
SZ: (talking to her brother) Gege.
SY: Don’t call me that. Hearing that makes me sick now.
SZ: Then…did something happen to him? He seems weird today.
DJ: (looking at Sang Zhi)

Well in fairness, didn’t she say that she liked a flirty man? He was just demonstrating that he could flirt, too.

Sang Yan joked that Jiaxu was going to seek psychiatric help upon returning to Yihe.

DJ: Darling brother, you’re so considerate to find a hospital for me.
SY: Dude. Stop calling me that, okay?
DJ: Why, my darling brother?
SY: (giving up on DJ) Scoot over here, Sang Zhi. Let’s switch seats.
DJ: (looking at Sang Zhi with a smile)

Missions accomplished. He killed two birds with one stone. He got Sang Zhi to sit close to him, and he proved to her that if a flirtatious guy was her type, then he could flirt like heck, too.

Just not with another girl…lol.

The strawberry incident in the car was just him continuing with his flirting agenda. This time, he was flirting with her.

DJ: Are you not eating it?
SZ: Do you want one?
DJ: I’ll try it.
SZ: (taking off the leaves and handing it to him)
DJ: (not speaking)
SZ: (moves the strawberry in front of him)
DJ: Come closer.
SZ: Huh? Do you want me to feed you? (moving it closer)

To her shock, he wolfed it down, almost biting her fingers, too. She quickly moved away. He found her reaction funny, so he piled it on.

DJ: Sang Zhi.
SZ: Huh?
DJ: Watch yourself.
SZ: (confused)
DJ: Don’t take advantage of me.
SZ: (stunned) You’re shameless.
DJ: (hiding his laughter)

Missions accomplished once more. She called him shameless.

Look: I already told you about the rhetorical device, antiphrasis, right? It’s calling Sang Zhi “kiddo” when he meant “oh, you’re driving me crazy, woman!” Here, when she called him shameless (or “cheeky” is how Youku subbed it), she didn’t mean it as a harsh criticism. There was fondness and indulgence in that word, suggesting that she KNEW he was teasing her and that she KNEW that he must have been internally cringing at his own shamelessness.

Sang Zhi knew Jiaxu enough to know that he was acting out of the ordinary.

His mission was a success because:

1. He neutralized whatever awkwardness there was about their age difference.

Remember? I pointed out that during their texting, there was a yin-yang tension going on. He worried that she wouldn’t like the idea of dating her Gege while she regretted having met him when she was young because now he didn’t idea of dating his meimei.

Well, flirting with her with the strawberry took care of that hurdle because he reversed their situation. Did you see what he did there?

His joke made her appear older and him younger. He implied that she was a seasoned and experienced flirt and that he was an unsuspecting and gullible sucker (literally).

2. He had been feeling her out and got his answer. She was falling for him, too.

Next up, Ep 14.