Chapter 14. Connection. The most beautiful wait
Featured Object: Two holding hands

I see two meanings of connection in this episode. The first refers to the relationship between Duan Jiaxu and Sang Zhi; they have yet to decide how to call their budding relationship.

The second refers to connecting to the dots and seeing the big picture. There are misconceptions that need fixing.

I’ll make a short list of the different connections.

A. Relationship

1. Recap of Sang Zhi’s feelings

In the previous episodes, I’ve pointed out how Jiaxu’s feelings for Sang Zhi have been evolving. He had a head start on Sang Zhi but now, it’s her turn. She’d been resolutely keeping Jiaxu in the “Gege” zone after their days at the hospital. She understandably didn’t want to get her hopes up again. Her conversation with her roommate reminded us once more of the wall she’d put up to seal for good her unrequited love (or what she thought was one-sided love) for Jiaxu.

Let me go over it. Subs are from Netflix.

Friend: Did something happen?
SZ: He told me he hasn’t dated for the past few years.
Friend: Did he volunteer that information?

Obviously, when Jiaxu volunteered information about his previous (nonexistent) dating life, he did it to clear the air between them.

SZ: (noncommittal) I guess he did.
Friend: Then what else are you unsure about?
SZ: Weiwei, do you remember what I told you before about Jiaxu Ge? His way of speaking and personality is sort of.. But I do think that he has been a bit strange lately.
Friend: Strange?
SZ: He’s even stranger than before.

She was referring to a) his serious declaration that he was willing to date an 18-year-old and b) his brazen jest not to take advantage of him. It was out-of-character of him to flirt with her with the strawberry, but, as I said, he did it because he was “feeling her out.”

SZ: (haltingly) I just feel that…(stops) He makes me feel that he might have feelings…I might be overthinking it or I’m being too sensitive.

She could guess – or she could SENSE – that he was falling for her too as she had fallen for him a long time ago. But she couldn’t trust her senses or her judgment because she had been wrong in her assessment of his words and actions before. She didn’t want to misinterpret them again. She didn’t want to go down that road of confusion and heartache again.

Friend: Do you think he also likes you?
SZ: (quickly raising a hand to stop her) No.

She answered too quickly, suggesting her embarrassment to even consider the possibility.

Friend: Huh?
SZ: (changing her mind) Well, not really.
Friend: Then, what is it?
SZ: Maybe just a tiny bit?

Now, she was willing to admit that perhaps there was a tiny chance that he liked her. But she still didn’t want to make it a big deal lest she was mistaken again.

Friend: (rolling eyes) Gosh. You’re such a coward! How can you be afraid to even say it? What’s so bad about you?

In other words, where’s your confidence, girl?

SZ: I just think that it’s impossible between us. I’ve always had this feeling precisely because I like him. So even when he does something normal, I misinterpreted his intentions.

Meaning, she refused to believe – or entertain the thought — that he could have feelings for her. She was aware that she was capable of self-delusion because a) she liked him and b) she’d done it before. She didn’t want to interpret his actions as confirmation of her inner desire that he returned her affections.

Friend: Sangsang.
SZ: (insistent) It’s not a recent development. I’m familiar with this feeling.
Friend: (letting it go)
SZ: Considering our relationship, a change wouldn’t be easy.
Friend: Sangsang, tell me. What exactly are you worried about?
SZ: If he were a stranger or someone who hadn’t watched me grow up, I would definitely pursue him if I like him this much. Even if it means being ghosted or being rejected, I wouldn’t be afraid. But because this person watched me grow up, could he really have such feelings for me?

Meaning, if he weren’t her Gege, she’d throw caution to the wind and go after him. She would take her chance. Sure, he could reject her, but then he could also love her.

But this was her Gege she was talking about. In her mind, there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell of him having or developing romantic feelings for her.

From her perspective, they’d been together all this time, and all he had ever shown her was brotherly attention. Every time she thought there was a hint of romance in his gesture, she got it wrong. Like the bracelet. She thought the bracelet was a love declaration, but she was wrong again.

If she could cry tears of frustation…

But as I said, the REAL hidden love in this story is Jiaxu’s. She couldn’t imagine him falling in love with her because he kept his feelings well hidden. It’s a closely guarded secret like the Coca-Cola formula and the Hapsburg Napkin Fold. Lol. If I were him, I’d take the secret to the grave.

Friend: How is he someone who watched you grow up? At most, he’s a big brother that you met when you were a child. I’ll tell you what I think. So you listen, okay? I’m looking at this from an observer’s perspective.

Meaning, her words could be trusted because she was a neutral onlooker. Unlike Sang Zhi. Sang Zhi couldn’t see the forest for the trees; she couldn’t see the big picture (or the connections) because her feelings were too involved in the situation.

Friend: Now, both of you are adults, right? Even if he is four or five years older than you, so what? In today’s society, even an eight-year gap isn’t strange. Let alone a five-year gap. Besides, none of us thinks it’s strange. Only you do. What are you so conflicted about?
SZ: (letting it sink in) So what do you think I should do?
Friend: First of all, stop thinking about the fact that he’s older than you. Just interact with him naturally.
SZ: Just interact naturally.
Friend: Do you understand? And secondly, if he doesn’t make a move, then you don’t make a move. But if he does, you strike first.

Key points here:

a. She has a mental block when it comes to Jiaxu.
b. She was afraid of being delusional and confirming her bias.
c. So, denial was her best response.
d. But her friend convinced her that she wasn’t seeing the big picture.

2. Her relationship status at the beginning of the episode: undefined

Jiaxu and Sang Zhi encountered a high school classmate of Jiaxu at the airport. The classmate was curious to know who Sang Zhi was. He asked, “Is this your girlfriend?”

Instead of answering, he turned to look at Sang Zhi.

Basically, he wanted Sang Zhi to answer that. He was leaving it up to her to decide how she wanted to call their relationship.

Her eyes widened and she looked back at the classmate.

She didn’t answer him because she didn’t know how to describe their relationship. I’m sure if she had worn the bracelet he gave her, he would have introduced her as his girlfriend. But since she didn’t wear it, he considered them to be in the Twilight Zone.

The classmate apologized for his gaffe.

Classmate: No, my mistake. (talking to Jiaxu) I heard that you and Jiang Ying are together.
DJ: Jiang Ying and I? Who told you that?
Classmate: (nervous) Are you not?
DJ: (doesn’t answer because the question is so preposterous)
Classmate: (realizing that he put his foot in his mouth the second time) I don’t remember who told me. I was mistaken. (apologizing to Sang Zhi) Sorry about that. I spoke without thinking. I was just spouting nonsense. (he exits before he make a blunder again)

But later, towards the end of this episode, Jiaxu introduced her properly to his work colleagues.

3. Her relationship status at the end of the episode: “my friend”

Jiaxu’s colleagues unexpectedly joined Jiaxu, Sang Zhi and his boss for lunch. They were curious to know who Sang Zhi was, and one of them asked, “Jiaxu, who is this?” He looked at her, but she looked down, avoiding his eyes. His colleagues began clamoring that he introduced her to them so he answered.

DJ: Péngyou (meaning “friend”)
SZ: (finally meeting his eyes, thinking to herself) A friend?
Colleagues: (teasing him) What kind of friend? Tell us.
SZ: (continuing to think) He said friend. Not sister. In the past, he always called me his sister or relative’s child.
Boss: Xiao Duan, make the introduction. Come on.
DJ: My friend’s name is Sang Zhi. She’s studying at a university here. (then he introduces his boss)

4. Her real relationship if Jiaxu had his way: “my girl”

As I mentioned above, Jiaxu had a headstart on Sang Zhi. While she was still undecided on how to regard her relationship with Jiaxu, he knew already that he wanted to be her guy. I already explained his confession in the car, right? If she gave him a chance, if she could reconsider him as somebody OTHER than an older brother, then he would like to her guy. At the airport, he confirmed that he was Sang Zhi’s ideal crush. So, after dropping her off at her dorm, he called his buddy Qian Fei up to ask for advice on how to pursue Sang Zhi.

DJ: You’re pretty smart. The guy that the girl said she likes is most likely me.
QF: Right? I was right! I knew it was you. I knew it the moment you described him.
DJ: Since you’re so clever, let me ask you. How did you win your wife’s heart?
QF: What? It’s my charming personality! Why? Are you going to chase her? Just go ahead. She likes you doesn’t she? Just directly confess to her.
DJ: No, I have to pursue her. Mainly, my girl has always felt that I couldn’t possibly like her.

Exactly! He didn’t have to be a fly on the wall at Sang Zhi’s dorm room to know what she was telling her friend.

DJ: So I have to be straightforward with her to make her happy.
QF: Your girl? How is she your girl now?

Meaning, how could Jiaxu think of her as “MY” girl when he hadn’t confessed his feelings and she hadn’t even agreed to date him? Wasn’t he getting ahead of himself?

QF: Does she know that you already know she likes you?
DJ: She doesn’t know yet. So I have to pretend that I don’t know either. I have to save her face.

QF: As expected of you. When do you plan to tell her?
DJ: Tsk. Just tell me how you won over your wife.
QF: I’m busy right now. Stop bothering me. Let’s talk later, okay?
DJ: Don’t forget.

My comments:

a. Saving her face = very, very important

He knew that she was a very proud person, so he wanted to save her face. Many of his actions in the past took her pride into consideration.

At the airport in Ep 7, after he scolded her in front of his boss, she wanted to go to the restroom all by herself. “I can go by myself. I can take care of myself,” she said. He understood that she didn’t want anybody else to see her in such an emotional distress, so he let her go off on her own. In Ep 3, when she had that feminine accident and stained her dress, he let her brother handle the situation to save her face. Then, he bought her the white teddy bear – as I said – to subtly reassure her that he would erase that embarrassing situation from his mind so she should “stop” crying. In Ep 1, after she fake-cried to get Sang Yan in trouble, she dignifiedly asked Jiaxu for tissue to wipe her tears with. He offered to talk to Sang Yan for her, but she didn’t want to beg for help after fighting with him. She had pride.

He knew that Sang Zhi would hate it if he discovered her secret crush on him. I’m sure in the future he’ll do more to face-saving.

b. In the subs, QF and Jiaxu used the words “chase” and “pursue” to refer to Jiaxu’s attempts to win Sang Zhi’s heart.

These words give the impression that he was a hunter and she’s the prey. I think the better words in this particular instance (although they’re a bit old-fashioned), are to “woo” and “court” her.

c. When Jiaxu said that he needed to be “straightforward” with her to make her happy, he meant that in order to convince her that he liked her, he would have to demonstrate his intentions with undisguised, unambiguous, and unmistakable actions. There can’t be room for misinterpretation because she was predisposed to disbelieve and doubt his true intentions after years of Gege-zoning him. She was more likely to be skeptical of his actions.

So these are the “connections” – or relationship issues – that were on display in this episode. Now, I’ll talk about the connections or new discoveries and realizations learned by Sang Zhi and Jiaxu.

B. Connections/Missed connections

There were many instances when Jiaxu and Sang Zhi connected the dots and either understood the situation better or made it even worse. lol.

Here are the examples:

1. When Sang Zhi researched the significance of the bracelet as a gift

Lol. She got the wrong connection.

At first, she was excited to learn that “bracelet” sounded like “cherished love,” and it’s meant to be a gift for lovers. Her excitement was short-lived, however, because she scrolled down and read, “Before giving the bracelet, learn of the recipient’s preferences.” Furthermore, if it’s a gift “from an elder, it means forever caring.” Naturally, that bit of information left her deflated.

She missed the connection between the gift and Jiaxu’s intention. And because she misunderstood his intention, she opted NOT to wear the bracelet the following morning. Jiaxu was upset.

DJ: Your breakfast.
SZ: Thank you.
DJ: (noticing her bare wrist) Where’s the thing I gave you?
SZ: Uh…
DJ: Do you not like it?
SZ: (no answer)
DJ: (upset) Let’s go.

It was cute how even from the back, he looked sulky.

He stopped at the bridge and turned to look at her.

She saw his surly expression. He glanced down at the bread he gave her for breakfast. It seemed to me like he wanted it back. I guess since he couldn’t take back the bracelet from her, he was taking back the bread instead. He was taking out his frustration on the bread.

SZ: Jiaxu Ge. Did you not have breakfast?
DJ: Mmm. (looking at the bread again)
SZ: (offering it to him) Have this then.
DJ: Thank you. (taking it back)
SZ: (taking the juice from the paperbag)
DJ: Will juice alone fill you up?
SZ: Mmm.
DJ: Open your mouth. Ahh!
SZ: Ahh.

Then he stuffed her mouth with the bun. She was looking like a pufferfish again.

DJ: Take this and eat it. (laughing at her)
SZ: Wait!

She tore off half and gave it to him. He thanked her.

This scene is very different from the strawberry scene of the previous episode. If you remember, he saw that she was disappointed when his college roommate grabbed the only strawberry from the fruit platter at the wedding reception. So he bought a clamshell of strawberry just for her on the way home. Then, in the car, he asked her to feed him. And we know what happened after that.

In this scene, he also bought her food. But because he was disappointed that she didn’t wear the bracelet he’d given her, he pettily wanted to take back the food from her. But he relented when he saw that she was only going to have juice for breakfast. Stuffing her mouth with the bread is a far cry from gobbling the strawberry from her hand. But this tells me that as upset and hurt as he was with her, he didn’t want her starving.

“Love is caring even you’re angry.”
https://i.pinimg.com/564x/95/4f/60/954f60cae283def73107cdf7e11e912e.jpg

2. When Sang Zhi realized that Jiaxu never had a girlfriend

She knew that she connected the dots incorrectly two years. And Jiaxu realized when and HOW she got the impression that he was a ladies’ man.

SZ: So…who is Jiang Ming?
DJ: Ah. It was the woman we ran into during dinner on New Year’s Eve.
SZ: (connecting the dots)
DJ: It’s not that kind of relationship.

She knew he was speaking the truth. She knew that the woman was bullying him.

DJ: You also saw how she treated me. How could I have anything to do with her?
SZ: (nodding her head)
DJ: (reminding her) Besides, didn’t I promise you before? If I get a girlfriend, I’ll introduce her to you first.

They differed in reactions. She stared at him intently then looked away with a frown. Meanwhile, he gave her a quizzical look.

SZ: But I remember there was another woman before.
DJ: Huh?
SZ: I came to Yihe when I was in high school. You came to the airport with her.
DJ: (astonished) You thought she was my girlfriend?!

SZ: (embarrassed) No. I’m just…asking.
DJ: (covering his smile)

SZ: (thinking to herself) So he never forgot what he promised me back then. He didn’t lie to me. I misunderstood him back then.

She realized that she made the wrong connection back then.

And Jiaxu made the connection that she described him as a “ladies’ man” based on false assumption.

Therefore, to clear up her misconception, he invited her boss to lunch with him and Sang Zhi. He didn’t tell Sang Zhi, however, WHO that an extra person joining them for lunch would be. So, she made the wrong connection again.

DJ: Later, we’ll go to the restaurant we went to last time. I’ll also introduce someone to you.
SZ: Is someone else joining us?
DJ: You’ll find out later. Let’s go.
SZ: (thinking to herself) If he has a girlfriend, I shouldn’t sit in the front passenger seat. (moving to open the backdoor)
DJ: Hey. Do you take me for a chauffeur? (opening the passenger door)

My comments:

a. He was keeping secret the identity of the person. He should have just told her that they were going to meet his boss instead of letting her assume the worst. But noooo. He wanted to keep her on tenterhooks.
b. His good mood threw off Sang Zhi, too. Again, she made the wrong connection here. She believed that he was happy because he was going to introduce his girlfriend to her. She couldn’t have known that he was happy because introducing his boss to HER. He was going to clear up her misunderstanding once and for all.
c. When would he have time for a girlfriend, really?

DJ: Let me make the introduction. This is Siyun, the producer of “A Dream of Jianghu” and my superior. This is Sang Zhi.
SZ: Nice to meet you.
Boss: Nice to meet you. Sit down. (immediately talking about their last meeting) I went with him to the airport to pick you up before. Do you still remember me?
SZ: Yes, I do.
Boss: I always hear Xiaoduan talk about you. I heard you’re studying at Yihe University.

Jiaxu looked at Sang Zhi. He wasn’t embarrassed to let her know that he talked about her at work. This would indicate to Sang Zhi that he never kept her existence a secret from his close friends.

SZ: Yes.
Boss: The last time I saw you, you were still in high school. Now, you’re so beautiful.

Then, the boss urged her to start ordering food from the menu. Jiaxu had to leave the table.

Boss: Last time, I didn’t have a chance to properly greet you when I met you at the airport.
SZ: I’m sorry to have bothered you at the airport at that time.
Boss: It was nothing at all. It’s I who shouldn’t have tagged along. I didn’t think much of it. I just wanted to help. Xiaoduan had a mild fever that day. I wanted my husband to drive him but he was away at a client meeting. So I ended up driving Jiaxu. He wasn’t feeling well that day, so I got out of the car with him to find out. Later, he even said that he was afraid you might feel uncomfortable with a stranger around so he asked me to leave first. That’s why I left without telling you.
SZ: No, it’s okay.

I think Sang Zhi was quick to pick up the undercurrents. The boss was clarifying to her what happened that day. She was going through great lengths that Jiaxu didn’t invite her to come along.

Boss: At first, I thought you were his relative’s child because he was very angry that day. When you were crying in the restroom, he was still talking about it.

He was angry back then because he was worried about her. He thought she got herself in big trouble with her online boyfriend.

Boss: (noticing her silence) What’s wrong?
SZ: Nothing.
Boss: Xiaoduan is a great guy.

Lol. Here comes her testimonial. After all Jiaxu asked her beforehand to give him a good character reference.

Boss: He’s young and promising. He’s also good-looking. The most important thing is that since I’ve known him, he has been single and hasn’t been involved in any messy relationship. To be honest, I’m really curious to see what kind of woman he will end up with.
SZ: (smiling)

3. When Sang Zhi met Jiaxu’s supervisor/boss

Finally, Sang Zhi connected the dots herself. She figured out the reason Jiaxu invited his boss. He wanted his boss to give him a testimonial or a character reference. This way, Sang Zhi would feel comfortable taking him on as a boyfriend.

DJ: Let’s find somewhere else to eat.
SZ: Jiaxu Ge. Did you ask Siyun to explain it to me?
DJ: Did she tell you?
SZ: Mmm. She told me. Jiaxu Ge. Didn’t you tell me at the airport at the time? I believed you.
DJ: Is that so?
SZ: Mmm.
DJ: I know girls your age always like to believe in some strange sixth sense. And I don’t want you to misunderstand or else it will be troublesome later.

My comments:

a. He was subtly referring to what happened two years ago. He knew that she made the wrong assumption about him because she allowed herself to be carried away (or deluded) by her “sixth sense” or her feelings.

b. Remember what Sang Zhi had told her roommate earlier. She insisted that it was impossible to have a relationship with her Gege because she had a “feeling” that she was going to “misinterpret his intentions.” Instead of relying on these “feelings” or some baseless “sixth sense,” he wanted her to listen to the accounts of people who were there. That way, there’s little to misunderstand.

c. As he led her out of the restaurant, he was holding her wrist.

d. “Later.” That’s the key word. He didn’t want a misunderstanding to appear later. This indicated that he intended this to be a long-term relationship.

C. The most beautiful wait

I hope the significance of this title didn’t escape the many viewers who just breezed through this cdrama.

I’ll give two…no, three answers.

1. It was in the epilogue.

His boss asked him why he was behaving like a young kid

DJ: I happened to see a cake on my way in, so I brought it for you.
Boss: (scoffing) What do you want?
DJ: Siyun, are you free this Friday? I want to buy you a meal and ask you for a favor.
Boss: What kind of favor?
DJ: Well, do you remember that girl that you went with me to pick up at the airport before
Boss: Your relative’s kid?
DJ: She might have misunderstood that you’re my girlfriend. I want you to help me explain it to her.
Boss: Sure, no problem. I’ll find an opportunity to talk to her over the meal.
DJ: One more thing, can you also tell her that I haven’t had a girlfriend for years?
Boss: Do I have to mention that too? Okay. Is there anything else?
DJ: That’s all.
Boss: Can I leave after the meal?
DJ: Mmm.
Boss: I won’t be the third wheel.

He took his leave to return to work. But he came rushing back.

DJ: One more thing,
Boss: What else do you want me to tell her?

That’s because he kept adding “one more thing” to his list of demands.

DJ: When you say that I haven’t been dating, can you make it sound natural. It’s just that–
Boss: I get it. I don’t need you to teach me. Duan Jiaxu. Why are you acting like an inexperienced young boy?

Answer: Because he was finally going to go out with Sang Zhi. He was excited like a little kid going on his first date…because it was probably his first date.

2. It was in the visual.

To him, she was the most beautiful wait.

He even had to remove his glasses.

3. It was in the featured object: two hands holding.

With his coworkers interrupting their lunch date and her getting an allergic reaction to the milk tea, they had to put off their first date for another day. Sang Zhi was clearly frustrated. But him? As long as he knew she was coming, he didn’t mind. She was well worth the wait.

Waiting for a ticket to fly home with her

Waiting for her to come out of her house

Waiting for her to pick up the phone

Waiting for her to come down for their first date

The wait was beautiful because his expectations were great. He felt that good things were finally about to happen to him and Sang Zhi.

Next up, Ep 15.