Now’s as good a time as any to get this pet peeve off my chest.

My one big problem with many recappers is that often they’re just takers.

They don’t GIVE:

meaning to the scenes,
context to the dialogue, cinematography or mise-en-scene,
explanation of the themes, or
insight into a fundamental human truth.

They simply TAKE the main events in the episode then recount them as if the viewers didn’t have eyes to watch the kdrama themselves.

I wish if recappers would summarize the episode like @WEnchanteur. He gives the timestamp, describes the action, then points out a detail that we should pay attention to. His recaps are very helpful to me when I must refer back to a scene. Thank you, @WEnchanteur, for your hard work!

One recap I had the misfortune of reading wrote that the title, “Giver vs Taker” referred to RanJoo and her mother. Tsk tsk tsk. This is the second to the last episode, and still this recapper hadn’t gotten the memo that titles in this series have multiple references. To make his obliviousness even more obvious, this recapper had the temerity to complain that there wasn’t enough meat on the bone to make the show interesting. I wasn’t going to blast a correction because the blog wasn’t mine, and myopia wasn’t my problem but his.

Over here at Bitchesoverdramas, we should have seen the givers and takers.

We have two Takers.

One, Lee SeoJun, of course. He was more than a taker; he was a cheat and swindler.

Two, BoGyeol’s father. Didn’t we hear him say over and over again that he wanted to TAKE back his family? It didn’t matter one iota to him if his family were happy where they were, he must take their happiness, too.

As for MoRae, she was described as a taker by RanJoo. But as far as I can tell, the only thing she seems to take is air. Every time she appears in a scene, she sucks the oxygen out of the room.  Though I understand her insecurity, I don’t want more attention given to her character at the expense of the lead couple of the show, BoGyeol and MokHa.

Then we have the Givers.

One, BoGyeol’s stepfather. He gave BoGyeol’s mom happiness and WooHak and BoGyeol a fresh start, at great cost to himself.

Two, the Manager. He was giving back his loyalty to his noona, RanJoo. I also like how he gave President Lee the side-eye because he suspected that Lee was up to no good.

Three, WooHak. He consistently gave good brotherly advice to MokHa. He also gave up the idea of pursuing MokHa.  Unlike the second male lead in “Start Up,” he knew when to efface himself and stop the unnecessary drama of a love triangle.

Four, BoGyeol. He gave MokHa a family and a home…and kisses, by the end of this episode. (Remind me to add the gifs here.) 

Five, BoGyeol’s mom. She gave that abusive man an umbrella. She was a much kinder person than I would ever be. But then again, I know to keep my distance from litigants outside the courthouse.

Six, Mokha, of course. She was the Kang family’s guardian angel in this episode.

Giving them umbrellas was symbolic, of course. She wasn’t only providing them protection from the rain, but also comfort after an arduous emotional confrontation with their abusive father and husband. They were all glad to see her there, ready to console them and cheer them up.

Note the lesson that the writer and director were trying to tell us. The words “Good job” and “You did well” are enough to give oxygen to a  suffocating and grueling moment. Everybody can use some praise and encouragement and these words cost nothing to give.

Now, let me explain this “Giver vs Taker” scene of RanJoo and her mother.

RanJoo was pitying herself and deploring her giving nature.

RJ: Once, I visited a well-known fortune-teller. And the fortune teller told me that I had the fate of a tree. I’d offer shade and fruit to those who’d come to me.
MokHa: I’m jealous of your fate.

Hmmm. I believe I know where the screenwriter got this idea of a “giving tree.” It’s from the famous 1964 children’s book “The Giving Tree” by Shel Silverstein. It’s a children’s classic. Smart Bitches should have read it or at least, read it before they die. 🙂

RJ: What for? It’s a hell of an awful fate. I’ll just end up as firewood. A giver. I turned Lee SeoJun into a CEO and turned Eun MoRae into a star. And now, they just take it for granted. I guess it’s true that givers create takers.

Note: that viewpoint was already expressed in Episode 2. Remember when BoGyeol’s junior colleague blamed BoGyeol for WooHak’s immature behavior?

“They say being a pushover make one a savage.” One general theme of this drama is that you must stand up for yourself to avoid mistreatment and abuse.

Then RJ received a phone call from her mom’s caretaker. Her mom was having another of her non-lucid episodes when she believed herself to be RanJoo.

Manager: Does she still think she’s you?
RJ: Yeah. Why me of all people? It would’ve been better if she thought she was MoRae.

Meaning, if her mom was reading MoRae’s headlines instead of hers, then she would have been spared from reading negative coverage.

MokHa: (turning around in confusion) Unnie.
RJ: What is it?
MokHa: Do you not know why you were named Yoon Ranjoo?
RJ: What do you mean? She probably got it from a naming center. Why do you ask? Did she say my name determined my fate?

Seeing her total confusion, MokHa revealed what RanJoo’s mom had told her when she paid her a surprised visit at the rooftop home. According to RanJoo’s mother, she had given her daughter RanJoo her own stage name, the one she used when she had been an aspiring singer.

Do you understand what the screenwriter is getting at?

RanJoo: Mom. Mom.
Mother: Hi.
RanJoo: Mom. What’s your name?
Mother: My name? It’s Yoon RanJoo, of course.
RanJoo: Then, what about Go SanHee?
Mother: That’s my real name.
RanJoo: Then, why are you Yoon RanJoo.
Mother: That was my stage name for when I became a singer.
RanJoo: Then, why didn’t you become one?
Mother: (stroking her hair) Because I was suddenly blessed with a beautiful gift.

We must learn to read between the lines.

RanJoo’s mother stopped pursuing her dream to become a singer when she found herself pregnant with RanJoo. Instead of aborting the baby and ridding herself of an impediment to her musical ambition, she decided to TAKE and RECEIVE the beautiful gift of new life that she was “suddenly” blessed with.

By “suddenly,” she meant that RanJoo’s conception and birth was accidental, unplanned.

RanJoo: You shouldn’t have given up. It must’ve broken your heart.
Mother: (shaking her head as she smiled at her daughter)
RanJoo: (realizing) You were the one who was the giver. I was the taker.
Mother: Why are you a taker? You’re a gift.

Let me spell this out.

1. RanJoo was a blessing. Her mother didn’t see her as a curse, mistake, obstacle, setback, hindrance, inconvenience, dream-ender, and a mere clump of cells. She was a gift.

2. RanJoo’s mother gave birth to her and raised her as a single mom when being a single mom was stigmatized in society. She fed RanJoo, encouraged her musical talent, allowed her to go to Seoul, watched her performances, delighted in her successes, and was her Number 1 fan.

3. What should amaze us about RanJoo’s mom is that she never once mentioned that she had sacrificed her dream for RanJoo. It was the first time that RanJoo heard that her mom aspired to be a singer.

Note here: “Sacrifice” isn’t even the right term because the mom considered RanJoo a “blessing,” not a “sacrifice.”

4. RanJoo’s mom is the antidote to BoGyeol’s dad.

BoGyeol’s dad was full of venom. He incessantly stressed to his family that he GAVE them everything and thus, they OWED him big time.

From Episode 1. “I fed you.” “I put a roof over your head.” “And you’re still ungrateful.”

From Ep 6.  “You wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for me.” “If it weren’t for me, you would’ve all starved to death in the streets.”

From Episode 9. “After all I did to take care of you all.”

In contrast, RanJoo’s mom said not a word that she gave up her dream for her. She fed her child lovingly. She didn’t  brag that she clothed and gave her a home. She made no demand on RanJoo to be grateful because she had a dutiful parent. She never mentioned to RanJoo that she wouldn’t have existed if it weren’t for her. Till the end, she treated RanJoo like a blessing.

And we all know what a blessing is, right? A blessing is precious gift that we didn’t expect to get nor deserve to receive.

5. That’s why RanJoo’s mom was an incredible woman, too.

In the end of this episode, there was a voiceover praising MokHa for being an incredible woman.

Voiceover: In life, you’ll learn that some people become happy over other people’s misfortunes. You’ll learn that many become jealous of other people’s successes. That’s because when their lives become pathetic, they refuse to blame themselves. That’s why they blame it on others and want to bring them down. Because that’s easier. It’s extremely difficult to sincerely root for other people. And it’s even harder to be genuinely happy for others without feeling any jealousy or expecting anything in return. MokHa, that’s the reason why you’re incredible.

Clearly, it takes one to know one. RanJoo’s mom could recognize the goodness in MokHa because she, too, was filled with goodness.

RanJoo’s mom was truly happy to have RanJoo in her life. She rooted for her and was genuinely happy for her. She wasn’t jealous of her daughter’s successes or envious that she didn’t get the same opportunity to become famous. Despite her “sacrifice,” her lost dream, and hardship, she expected nothing from RanJoo in return. She didn’t hold the past over RanJoo’s head and demand gratitude and indebtedness from her.

She was a mom, a giving mom.

And THAT’S why this episode is important for closure.

Over these past 11 episodes, we watched how contemptible BoGyeol’s father was and we needed a counterbalance to bring us back to reality. In real life, not all parents are abusers, takers, and criminal like BoGyeol’s father and MokHa’s father. There still exist a lot of good parents in this world, parents who are like trees, silent and solid, giving shade and fruits, giving themselves up to become firewood. They do all that, without asking for payback and recognition, simply because they truly love their children. Their children are a blessing, and their children are also blessed to have them as parents.

To these unheralded, heroic parents, we say, “Good job!” and “You did well.”