Episode Title: “Those who love more are the strongest.”

I’ll circle back to my explanation of the title after I explain my theme for this episode.

On sense and sensibility.

One of the Jane Austen novels I like is “Sense and Sensibility.” It’s about two sisters: Elinor who exemplifies sense (restraint and good judgment) and Marianne who epitomizes sensibility, which in the vernacular of that era, means heightened sentimentality. As might be expected, the moral lesson of the novel is to refrain from loving with reckless abandon and wild impulse. Elinor trumps Marianne.

I bring this novel up because SoonDeok reminds me very much of Elinor, especially in this episode. There are at least four scenes when she exercises restraint and displays strength of mind (sense) rather than excessive emotion (sensibility) like a Jane Austen heroine.

Here are the four scenes.

Note: I’m switching back and forth between the subs of Viki and Viu, depending on which sub I deemed to have a  more nuanced interpretation.

1. When JungWoo lies to SoonDeok that his feelings for her has waned

JungWoo: The reason I climbed the wall is not because I missed you. I came to tell you not to send me any more letters.
SoonDeok: (confused) Is it because you are worried about me? I –
JungWoo: (interrupting her) No. As you said before, my feelings have calmed down.

Briefly, she remembers comparing their feelings to fleeting storms. She was downplaying his love confession, saying that the “tempest in their hearts” would naturally die down with the passage of time.

JungWoo: (continuing) I do not have feelings for you anymore, Madam.

But she can see through him right away.

SoonDeok: Why do you lie to me and say something you do not mean? You say you do not like me, but didn’t you climb over the walls of an annex where I, a widow, live all alone, only to tell me not to send you letters anymore? You say you do not like me, but didn’t you kindly let me hold onto your arm and trust you to come down? You say you do not like me, but didn’t your heart race so fast when you held me in your arms?

I like her rhetorical device. She repeated the words, “You say you do not like me, but…”

For one, it’s a great way of pointing out his audacious lie. She’s telling him that his words are at odds with his actions. For another, she’s countering his lie with logic. Instead of pleading with him or shedding tears (sensibility), she’s giving him evidence to the contrary (sense).

It’s too bad, however, that JungWoo can’t tell her his reasons for breaking up with her. Lady SoHyun had threatened to go after SoonDeok if he didn’t stop seeing her. Then, on top of that, Mrs. Maeng had rattled his confidence in their love when she informed him that he wasn’t SoonDeok’s soulmate, but her first husband was. In Mrs. Maeng’s words, “What I know for sure is that you and Lady Yeoju are not meant to be. I saw who Lady Yeoju was meant to be with.”

In my opinion, her unsolicited remark disconcerted JungWoo more than he cares to admit. He’s resigned to give up on them because they aren’t FATED to be together.

To continue…

JungWoo: My heart raced because I was afraid. I was afraid you would presume to know my feelings and trouble me just as you are doing right now. The heart naturally races out of fear as it does at the sound of a drum.

Three things.

One, I remember Buddha’s birthday when SoonDeok played the drum for the bachelors to mimic the sound of pounding heartbeat.

Two, I find it strange that for a supposedly ace Confucian scholar, JungWoo’s very impressionable. Mrs. Maeng easily convinced him to doubt his own emotions and convictions. It was she who instilled in him that his heart palpitation was an unreliable predictor of true love. He could be deceived because his heartbeat could quicken due to fear or to sensory stimulus like the sight of a pretty woman or the beating of a drum.

According to Mrs. Maeng, his heartbeat was less foolproof than her gift of sight in recognizing soulmates, especially his own soulmate.

Three, I wouldn’t mind if he lied to SoonDeok out of fear for her safety. But I would think less of him if he was lying out of insecurity after hearing Mrs. Maeng’s reasonings. Doesn’t he know and trust his own feelings? Does he require some sort of guarantee of a happily-ever-after before forging a relationship with SoonDeok?

JungWoo: (continuing) Hence, please mind your behavior so as to prevent causing me any harm.

In other words, he’s asking her to cease contacting him, and insisting that he likes her. To go against his expressed wish to end their relationship only imposes a burden on him.

With those parting words, he walks away.

I like that she just sits there. No melodrama for this girl. No tears. No “Hajima! Kajima!” wailing. No outburst. She’s showing sense, rather than sensibility.

2. When JungWoo discloses his guilt complex about being a Ssangyeonsulsa

After they broke up, they meet again by accident at the Maeng residence.

JungWoo pays Mrs. Maeng a visist because he wants Mrs. Maeng to confirm the legend about the sad fate of Ssangyeonsulsas. He was told that they were called sorcerers of loneliness because their spouses were cursed to die young.

But instead of hearing reassurance from Mrs. Maeng that the legend is inaccurate, he discovers that Mrs. Maeng’s original fiancé, her soulmate, actually died before their marriage. Thus, his fear is confirmed.

With a heavy heart then, he exits Mrs. Maeng’s room. He feels guilty that he had inadvertently caused the royal princess’ death because he’s a Ssangyeonsulsa. Fortunately for him, SoonDeok is waiting for him in the courtyard.

He tells her that he’s uncomfortable in her company but she insists on talking it out with him.

SoonDeok: You can talk to me about it.
JungWoo: About what?
SoonDeok: What you want to talk about [with Mrs. Maeng]. You said you do not like me anymore, but I still like you just the same. So please talk to me.

I like that a) she isn’t embarrassed to tell him that her feelings for him have remained unchanged, and b) she wants to be his sounding board and emotional support. She isn’t over-reacting to his rejection of her.

JungWoo: I have nothing to tell you.
SoonDeok: You cannot see your own face. Your face says you have a lot to say.
JungWoo: Even if I do have things I want to say, why would I tell you?
SoonDeok: The fact you visited Master Maeng’s wife means the matter is about the maidens’ marriage or Ssangyeonsulsa. You can talk about both of them only with me. So tell me about it. Do not be scared.

True, there’s no other person who understands his situation better than her. Since she presents her arguments sensibly, instead of emotionally, it’s hard for him to rebuff her offer without sounding petty.

JungWoo: (smiling)
SoonDeok: Since you smiled, you will tell me. Okay? I know a good place where we can talk.

She finds a quiet spot for them.

JungWoo: I worked so hard to find out the reason for the princess’ death.
SoonDeok: Surely, you do not think the princess passed away because you are Ssangyeonsulsa, are you?
JungWoo: (not answering)
SoonDeok: (surprised) Is that really what you believe? It is said that only the havens know one’s lifespan.
JungWoo: (correcting her malapropism) It is “heavens,” not “havens.”
SoonDeok: Exactly! You are so smart so why do you believe in a legend from Goryeo?
JungWoo: (sadly) Well, the thing is Master Maeng’s wife’s fiancé was also…
SoonDeok: It’s not like you asked all the Ssangyeonsulsas who ever lived. This sounds like hasty generalization to me.

She admonishes him for a) forming a conclusion that all Ssangyeonsulsas are doomed to be lonely based on a small sample (i.e., his experience and the Mrs. Maeng’s) and b)  letting his conclusion paralyze him with anxiety.

JungWoo: (looking at her) My lady, why did you become smart all of a sudden?
SoonDeok: I learned all of this from you. Think about it rationally. Why is it your fault the princess passed away? The people who used poison for treason are to blame.

And she frowns.

This is important!

To me, she’s frowning because she realizes that this is the second time that day that she advised someone not to blame himself/herself for an offense committed by someone else.

Earlier, the middle Maeng sister DuRi confided that she blamed herself for their mother’s blindness. In truth, however, their mother had been poisoned by other family members.

Now, JungWoo is also blaming himself for the royal princess’ death when in fact, she had been poisoned by Lady SoHyun.

Additionally, I think she’s frowning because she discovers an important truth about herself. She realizes that she and Lady SoHyun are nothing alike.

When she had protested Lady SoHyun killing her husband and brother, Lady SoHyun merely shifted the blame on their dire circumstances for forcing her hand. She told SookDeok, “You think it is wrong? Then, your father-in-law and uncle-in-law would have been executed for treason, Prince Jinsung and Royal Consort Sukbin would have been ordered to die by poison, and GeunSeok and YeJin would have been forced into slavery. Was letting the family fall apart the right thing to do? What do you think you would have done in this situation? I am pretty sure that you would have made the same choice.”

Unlike Duri and JungWoo who blamed themselves despite the crime being committed by someone else, Lady SoHyun didn’t want to accept blame for her own atrocity. In her mind, she did nothing wrong because she was merely acting to ensure the survival of the family.

To use an analogy here, she’s like a doctor amputating a gangrenous limb to keep the infection from spreading throughout the body and causing death to the patient. Her defense is she has no choice because circumstances “drove” her — or demanded her — to kill two rotten people, her husband and brother, to protect the greater good.

However, it bothers SoonDeok that her mother-in-law attempted to cast her in the same mold by saying that she would have done the same thing if she had been in her shoes. SoonDeok rejects her mother-in-law’s assumption that she too will resort to killing a member of the family in order to protect the rest of the family.

JungWoo: I still feel like it’s my fault. Only if she did not marry me, a Ssangyeonsulsa!
SoonDeok: (fiercely) Do not think such things. It was absolutely not your fault. I am not unconditionally siding with you just because I like you. This is a fact. Therefore, (rubbing his back) please do not blame yourself.

JungWoo: Thank you.
SoonDeok: I am more thankful to you. While talking to you, I think I found the solution to what was conflicted about. (shyly) I like you…more…and more…Your Excellency.

And that’s why this scene shows SoonDeok’s sense.

With another heroine, this interlude could have devolved into a shmaltzy moment where the heroine coos over him (sensibility) to forget his guilt. But instead, SoonDeok kills two birds with one stone: she talks some sense into JungWoo and

and reaches an epiphany of her own.

She informs Lady SoHyun of her resolution when they next meet.

SoonDeok: I thought about your question from the other day.
Lady SoHyun: All right. Did you find a way to protect the family in that situation if you were in my shoes?
SoonDeok: No. I realized that trying to find a way itself was pointless because I would not have foolishly decided to kill the crown prince in the first place.

She’s saying that the problem was moot. Such a crisis will never happen on her watch because, from the onset, she wouldn’t have entertained and cooperated in treason. She would have nipped such “foolishness” in the bud. I snickered at how she euphemizes treason in order not to offend her mother-in-law.

Lady SoHyun: “Foolishly”? Then are you saying you would have just watched Prince JinSeong lose his right to the throne?
SoonDeok: If that’s the natural course of life, we must obey. Is it not something we can change by force?

SoonDeok is saying that she opposes using force (aggression, violence) to alter the natural course of life. Note this: she isn’t being hypocritical; she practices what she preaches. When she introduces lovers to each other, she believes that she’s obeying the natural course of life, that is, the fate of the soulmates. She’s only giving fate a helping hand. Moreover, when she concocts her ingenious meet-cutes for the fated lovers, she never employs force and violence.

Thus, Lady SoHyun is mistaken to assume that she and SoonDeok are cut from the same cloth.

Lady SoHyun: People with power create a natural course of life. Anyone with power will have made the same choice I had made.
SoonDeok: (pointing out) In the end, because of that choice, Father passed away, and you lost Uncle as well.
Lady SoHyun: (dumbfounded)

Lady SoHyun’s defense that “circumstances” made her kill her husband and brother falls apart once she admitted that she had created those circumstances herself in the first place. By deciding to use her power to alter the line of succession and seize the throne for Prince JinSeong, Lady SoHyun set the ball rolling. She cannot absolve herself from blame and responsibility after that.

SoonDeok: Is this the natural course of life you are talking about, Mother?

Again, the euphemism! SoonDeok is pointing out the obvious and logical outcome of Lady SoHyun’s covert power-grab: ruination of the family. I appreciate how nonconfrontational and understated SoonDeok has been throughout this confrontation. She doesn’t come out accusing her mother-in-law of treason and murder. She shows remarkable restraint.

SoonDeok: I have tried to take after you because I respected you, but I realized I cannot be the person you want me to be. Therefore, I plan to find my own method from now on.
Lady SoHyun: Sure, go ahead and fine one. Because you will have to lead this family at the end of the day.

Despite it all, SoonDeok has earned Lady SoHyun’s grudging respect. Though they don’t see eye-to-eye on these matters, Lady SoHyun admires SoonDeok’s rectitude (sense).

3. When JungWoo is asked by SoonDeok to match the slave hunter with the real Yeojudaek

This scene is cute.

JungWoo: Didn’t I tell you to stop sending me letters? Why are you not listening to me!
SoonDeok: You came pretty early for someone angry. I called you because there is something only you can fix.

This brief moment is cute on so many levels.

One, I like that JungWoo came rushing (and he’s breathless, too) to their meeting place. He must have run hard to get there as fast as he could. And he wasn’t fond of nor accustomed to strenuous physical exercise.

Two, the gentleman doth protest too much, methinks. Why doesn’t he just ignore all her letters then? Why is he answering her calls?

Three, I like that SoonDeok is very much aware that she has him wrapped around her little finger. She only has to send a note, and he’ll come running.

Four, JungWoo instantly calms down as soon as he hears that she needs his help. She explains her problem.

JungWoo: I cannot do it.
SoonDeok: Why not? All you have to do is tell them that they are a fated match.
JungWoo: When I saw them, my heart did not race. They are not meant to be.

There you go. That’s my problem with JungWoo. He’s begun to believe that people must accept their fate passively; that it’s futile to challenge, must more, defy fate; and that fate is immutable.

Note: for those who are just joining this blog, I’m dusting off my old lecture notes on Destiny vs Fate in kdramas. If there’s one thing you should learn from this blog, it’s this: Screw fate! Destiny rules. 🙂

My updated note on destiny vs fate.

I understand that many cultures, especially Asian cultures, don’t make a distinction between fate and destiny. For many, they’re one and the same. However, in Western culture, we make a critical demarcation between destiny and fate, so much so that we have two words to denote the difference.

In Western language, we have words like “fatalistic,” “ill-fated,” and “fatal.” The root word here is “fate” which implies lack of agency, a lack of will, or a lack of PERSONAL stake in the outcome. Intrinsically tied to the word “fate” is the notion of PASSIVE acceptance. You accept your fate because “Oh well, it’s fated to be. What good can I do? I can’t go against fate.” To accept fate is to submit and surrender to your perceived future.

However, in a Western mindset, we fight for our DESTINY.

That’s why we can say that “we’re DESTINED for greatness.” We don’t say that we’re “DESTINED” for failure; rather we’re DOOMED for failure. Hmph! In the 19th century, Americans even had a “Manifest DESTINY” to expand westward. We also say that we travel to our DESTINATION. Note there: destination and destiny have the same Latin root word, “destinare.” It means to establish a firm goal. No matter what, you must reach your destination. Against all odds, you must make your own destiny. Make it happen.

That’s what destiny signifies for us with the Western mindset. It has a positive connotation to it, unlike the word “fate.” We believe in an ACTIVE, personal – some may say, individualistic — participation in forging our own future. This concept of a resistance is very much missing in the acceptance of one’s fate.

Many kdrama screenwriters, and subbers for that matter, struggle to demonstrate how their characters are at the same time fated and destined for each other because they don’t quite grasp the difference.

Here, we see that JungWoo is getting bogged down by the idea of a fated love match. It’s a good thing that SoonDeok is right there beside him to snap him out of this silly mindset.

SoonDeok: Then, just lie to them. I told them you are a Ssangyeonsulsa, Your Excellency.
JungWoo: Why should I? Since they are not meant to be, they will be able to forget each other.

Lol. Is he referring to the slave hunter and Yeojudaek? Or to himself and SoonDeok? He identifies with the slave hunter because he’s still hurting from Mrs. Maeng’s words that he isn’t the fated one for SoonDeok.

SoonDeok: (arguing) People who are not meant to be can still like each other! Look at us. Did we like each other because we were fated to be?

I like the way she frowns at him.

Her question forces JungWoo to rethink their situation. Obviously, if he agrees that only he likes her because they were “meant to be” and they were “fated to be,” then it implies that his affections are merely happenstance. He’s no more than a ball falling to the ground because of the gravitational pull. There isn’t any personal choice, personal decision or personal will to love her.

JungWoo realizes then that there’s nothing to fear about Mrs. Maeng’s remarks that he and SoonDeok weren’t fated for each other. Despite not being fated, their feelings for each other are undeniably real.

4. After JungWoo convinces the slave hunter to marry the real Yeojudaek

He and Soondeok witness the slave hunter refused Yeojudaek’s offer of marriage. Like the Maeng sister Duri and JungWoo, the slave hunter can’t envision himself grasping happiness for himself because of guilt. He had left his ailing wife to search for Yeojudaek, and now that his wife passed away, he feels guilty about remarrying, especially with Yeojudaek.

So JungWoo asks him then if living a “harsh” (i.e., a solitary life) life is his idea of atoning for abandonment.

JungWoo: If you live such a harsh life, will you no longer feel bad? As someone who can see connections, I can see that you two met again after all these years because you were meant to be.

Note: he’s lying because SoonDeok convinced him.

JungWoo: So, forget about the past and live together. Even if you leave right now, you two will meet again. You two have such a destiny.

His words comfort the slave hunter who changes his mind and goes home with Yeojudaek and her child. Looking at the newly formed family, SoonDeok expresses hope.

SoonDeok: They will be happy together forever, for sure. Though they may not be meant to be, I can see they love each other so much.
JungWoo: (cynically) If they love each other that much, then they shouldn’t have separated even if I do not lie to them, saying they are meant to be.

The Viki sub is clunky. Simply put, if the couple truly loved each other, then the lie about being fated lovers would have been unnecessary. Their love should have been enough to give them confidence to pursue a life together.

I find his remark ironic considering that he, too, was swayed by Mrs. Maeng’s words to separate from SoonDeok as they weren’t “soulmates.”

SoonDeok then displays her wisdom (sense).

SoonDeok: They had too many burdens on their hearts for that. There is nothing like fate to help relieve those burdens.

To put it simply, she’s aware that the couple carried so much emotional baggage from their tangled past that the quickest way to sort through them, including the slave hunter’s residual guilt, is to just chalk up everything to fate. Things happened because of fate so they should just forgive and forget. I thought SoonDeok demonstrated great understanding here.

With his mission done, JungWoo takes his leave.

JungWoo: I will be going since I have done all I need to do.
SoonDeok: Your Excellency! Can you please stop this now?

He doesn’t answer because he’s pretending not to know what she’s talking about. She tells him anyway.

SoonDeok: Acting like you do not like me.
JungWoo: (still now answering)
SoonDeok: I’m going through a lot of difficulties as is…

Her pout is cute. She knows that he can’t resist coming to her aid, so she acts like she’s in dire straits.

JungWoo: You are going through difficulties? Is something the matter?
SoonDeok: (not answering)
JungWoo: Please say something!
SoonDeok: (proving her point) You worry about me this much, and yet you try to act like you don’t like me.
JungWoo: Then, what can I do?! I have no other way, but I get worried about you, and I miss you to death.

And just like that, she got him to admit that he’s faking his indifference.

JungWoo: Well, do you think I am doing this because I want to?
SoonDeok: It is so much better that you are being honest. Do you know what words I hate the most in novels? The words, “I am leaving you because I love you.”

There’s a name for this trope in kdrama. It’s called, “noble idiocy.” He’s silent because he knows he’s guilty of noble idiocy.

I like that she’s smiling at him. She’s scolding him for his noble idiocy, but her smile softens the sting of her rebuke.

SoonDeok: The day I climbed the walls of Gyeonwoonjae, I made up my mind to be with you, Your Excellency.

JungWoo: But how?
SoonDeok: I do not know the way yet. However, do not worry. I am the best in Joseon at bringing two people together.
JungWoo: (reminding her) The Minister’s wife is way more fearsome than you think…

This is a role reversal. It’s typically the hero who believes that “love conquers all” and reassures that heroine that everything will end well. But in this episode, the heroine is the one to show more grit and gumption. This role reversal is consistent with their meet-cute. Back in Episode 1, it had been SoonDeok who grabbed JungWoo to save him from being crushed. Here, it’s SoonDeok again who steps forward and wraps her short arms around him.

SoonDeok: I am way braver than you think, Your Excellency. So, please trust me a bit and wait for me.

She hugs him tighter and pats his back.

And that’s how we arrive at the title of the episode. Viki subbed the title as “The stronger one is the one who loves more.” Viu, however, subbed it as “The one who loves more is the winner.”

When I google-translated it, I got, “The person who loves more is the stronger one.” I think I like naver’s translation best. “Those who love more are the strongest.” It applies to SoonDeok best.

SoonDeok loves JungWoo and her love gives her strength and courage to face whatever it is that Lady SoHyun — or even fate — throws at them. Thank goodness her love is the sensible kind (sense) rather than the reckless, sentimental sort (sensitivity). She’s confident that she can overcome the challenges awaiting them.

In contrast, JungWoo’s feelings for SoonDeok wavered. As I pointed out, he was plagued by fear, guilt, self-doubt, and other insecurities. He didn’t know that love is a force that can be more powerful than fate in determining the future. It’s thanks to SoonDeok that he regains proper perspective of their circumstances. She’s the stronger one in this episode.