24 Comments On “Shine on Me: Open Thread Eps 25 to 28”
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
@IB and everyone watching this show…
EP 25 was sweet. I enjoyed all the conversations. I even enjoyed the lecture on clean energy (it’s dilemmas and solutions). Yes in it the national stance was showcased, but that’s what it has always been, and in the face of external challenges, the solution is obvious.
I loved that smile at the end!!! He should do that more often! 😁😆😊
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
I managed to squeeze in Ep 26 too…
MINOR SPOILERS
XG has to deal with challenges to the PV Garden and we get to see the family relationships of YS and the Shengs.
I like it that there’s no hiding behind falsehood over the OTP relationship. It’s all out in the open and aboveboard. This is a relief and a happy change from what we normally get with workplace romances, especially when it’s between a boss and subordinate.
ibisfeather
Ep25 — now we are in the dating era, the sun is out. I laughed a lot. They manage to flirt using language plucked from any situation they are in.
The lectures on the PV industry and national needs etc, are as cringe-y as usual, whether in the China of drama or in the US of tvseries.
The result of such slow-burn, respectful dating is that every little thing, whether telling Mom about your first date or saying goodnight by text for the first time, is a quiet thrill. It makes the show really fun to watch too.
Not that I think just any onscreen couple could make this work. Who knew? Song Weilong pairs perfectly with Zhao Jin Mai.
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
@IB, it’s so nice to have a space where we don’t have to worry about too many spoilers when we chat.
EPISODES 24-25
So good because it’s all out in the open and happy dating days will be certain now that our OTP are minted.
Zhuang Xu and his workmates come to visit Kevin in hospital. He realises that he does not even have the contact number of Lin Yu Sen who had helped to save Kevin. To his dismay, he finds that Kevin has retrograde amnesia which means he cannot find out what Kevin meant when he had said that Dr Lin was pursuing Xi Guang.
ZX obviously thinks that as long as XG is still being pursued, that he still has a chance with her. BUT!!! He did NOT pursue her when he DID have the chance, so what the ….??? He just stood his ground in silence and let her do the coming or going, and he stood there in judgement of her instead of clearly asking, or making a stand on his own relationship with Ye Rong.
So from the previews here and there and from his personality, I expect at least 1 troublesome scene where once again he accosts XG but instead of clarifying properly without rancour, he shows disapproval and generally accuses or demands explanation. In romantic relationships he is inept and naive, since he thinks that one declaration from a young person (Xi Guang) should stand as an unchanging promise that cannot be broken, no matter what he (ZX) does or does not do.
I’ve written in my own notes how I noticed that ZX is a fuddy-duddy (ie stuffy) disapproving guy. That seems to be his go-to reaction/response to XG at least and perhaps even to Ye Rong. On one hand I understand why he would feel ‘betrayed’ by innocent XG (I’ll have that up in my Ep 1-2 notes). But on the other, I disapprove of him and feel he deserves what he fails to have.
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
EPISODES 24-25
I’m so chuffed!!! I mentioned in the WAWW thread that there could be a play on the names ‘Xi Guang’ and ‘Yu Sen’ and it actually was mentioned by XG (scene in the car). She says roughly what I surmised… that Yu Sen had a lot of the wood/tree element in his name ie he’s a forest, waiting for the morning light (ie Xi Guang). She protests that her mild morning light won’t be able to light up the big forest, but he says he would wait for her to be like the midday sun (or something like that). I have to rewatch to get the actual words. 🤪🙃
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
Corrigendum
The Conversation about their names that I mention above was in Ep 26 (not 24-25) and it was not in the car but when they were texting each other. XG has looked at YS’s resume again and notices something that starts the text messaging. She’s in Shanghai and he was in Shenzhen, timestamp 18.30 onwards.
XG: “Lin Yu Sen, I just noticed your name is literally all wood. Does your birth chart say you’re short on that element or something?”
YS:”With this much wood/trees, the only thing I’m missing is sunlight.”
XG: “That’s a whole lot of forest just waiting for a little morning glow (Xi Guang’s name can be translated to ‘morning glow’) to shine through, you know?”
Yu Sen looks up at the bright sky.
YS: “I’m holding out for you to hit me with that scorching midday blaze.”
She is touched by his words … I guess he means that he’s prepared to be a dark forest and wait to be illuminated only by her as she grows into a strong source of light.
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
The Real Estate Scenery Metaphor
Unlike in her travels in Europe with Jiang Rui, where the scenery did not belong to them and had to be left behind, YS is the Real Estate that does belong to XG, and which XG does not need to say goodbye to in her travels, because her journeys now are within the Estate that will be her home.
Jiang Rui had said that they were young enough to get their own Real Estate Scenery, a view with XG’s name written all over it.
JR: “Haven’t you already found it, Lin Yu Sen, meaning the island forest literally. Nothing’s more immoveable than that.”
XG: “True I found it a long time ago, but just now I finally wrote my name on it.”
XG drives them to the Wuxi Train Station but before YS leaves, he wants her to make good on what she said to JR by writing her name on his hand. (I thought she’d take out a pen LOL, but she just used a finger to write her name.)
That’s a change from the usual prolonged (and a bit embarrassing) goodbye kiss in the car thing. It was a looong shot of them with their heads poring over his hand, or with him watching her with stars in his eyes… it was possibly even more romantic.
ibisfeasther
@GB
making my delighted way through ep26’s first 15 minutes.
Thanks so much for the wood and sunlight pre-tip!
I usually just let naming discussions involing the elements wash over me vaguely, but this was such a series of silly romantic and flirtatious exchanges that LYS upping the ante from her ‘morning glow’ into a ‘midday blaze’ seemed very daring.
I had just finished chortling about the ‘Boyfriend User Manual’ he had texted to her the evening before, and nearly fell off my chair when he countered her jab at ‘product return’ with a suggestion that she ‘test out’ features in ‘this product’ which had ‘not been unlocked before’.
A swift reflection of all kinds of jargon, the last was of conversations on line with customer service agents.
A great writer makes everything seem new and fun again. Even the most mundane of experiences is grist for her mill.
@ibisfeather, I caught this post in the To Be Moderated pile. Sorry. The blog is acting wonky right now.
ibisfeather
Thank you. I did wonder. It seemed awfully subtle of the blog to catch me talking about racy dialogue!
ibisfeather
@GB, I was right!
ep27
spoiler
LYS will have XG’s back in some kind of massive corporate problem because now the two of them will control their own company — 51% LYS, 49% XG’s Mom.
That is if the uncles dont block the share transfer.
This episode also really clarified LYS’ changes of heart. Now that he has shed resentments over the accident-on-the-road-to-Wuxi, he is set on a path which will take him away from the PV world.
It isnt clear to me whether he and his mom will still need to take some sort of retribution for the death of his dad, though.
‘LYS’ tricks’ acc. to XG…he thinks so far ahead that he is always ready to tease her about their future; it sets her back on her heels because she is always very present-focussed.
That is a good way to think about their complementarity: XG is, at work, a very ‘present’ personality, active, focussed and inspiring, while SWL is currently (in love/at business) a foresighted long-term planner. In the office he may be a bit of a dweeb, but he is very romantic in private despite being somewhat inexperienced. Whereas XG has got a bit of the dork in her romantic habits — she is so straightforward and simple-minded.
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
@IB, I’m almost as excited by the corporate change of ownership story as I am about the romance! I guess now that the romance is more or less set with most of the elders in full approval, we will be given conflict elsewhere.
I know there will be another scene or so of ZX trying again to get close to XG. Perhaps we’ll also have Ye Rong again, coming around to cause misunderstandings.
The other thing is that the colleagues of XG do not know her family background. Her family own 49% of their company, so in effect she really is their boss (and YS’s boss). This will however be a small matter between friends unless played up by some scheming instigators.
There is still the mystery of what happened in the Sheng and Lin past that led to YS’s dad’s exile. As we are only vaguely told about his death which took place in a foreign land, I don’t think the death itself was suspicious. What I gathered was that YS’s mum blamed her father and brother for forcing her husband out of the country, and resented them so much that she’s refused to see them since her husband died.
Dad Lin’s background was poorer than the Shengs, but I believe he was no less savvy in business. I need to come across the scenes of conversations about the dad again. I thought that he was sidelined so as not to take the spotlight away from the Shengs.
ibisfeather
Good Morning @GB!
Yes, I actually wanted to review it all too.
These were my recollections — in conversation with her mom (was her aunt there too?) when Lin YuSen first came up as a topic, her mom warned XG that Xg’s Dad had been friends with LinYuSen’s uncle Bo Kai when there was trouble….I think she mentioned LSY’s dad but am not sure.
Obviously the ski chalet conversation(s) (we only hear the one) were relevant in that it is made clear that LSY’s Dad was better at business than Grandpa Sheng’s sons by blood. Out of jealousy the uncles pushed him out somehow.
And the death was due to a foreign political crisis in which the Dad was somehow injured. I feel as if we were about to get more details about it in connection to LSY changing majors, but that didnt happen.
I need to check bec I said essentially this in the mdl comment section and there was a general ruckus between several people — it turned out the book has a different take on blame and causation to the show-script.
ibisfeather
@GB
I just remembered that Dad Nie deposited a large sum of money in XG’s Mom’s account for XG, of the episodes you have been reviewing for the 1=24 thread,area also early on in the
What was that in connection with?
Was that related to the money Dad Nie should have been paying to Shuangyuan (the PV company).
How confusing that the PV co. has a name so close to Grandpa Sheng’s corporation, Shengyuan(?i think).
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
@IB, oh dear, I do not recall clearly anything about money being left for XG. I think I generally switch off when Dad Nie comes onto the screen LOL.
ibisfeather
Morning, GB!
Here’s a question about subtext for you. It is an anthropological connection but also a modern question about gender roles in China.
I am in the early bit of 28 where the two of them are in the car and LYS is trying to convince XG to call him by his first names instead of the whole set of three. My guess, possi blt incorrect, is that he is being ‘slightly ‘modern’ in this — but only if you look at his long-term sense that he is planning marriage. Something like, “You arent going to be like those grannies who call their husbands Mr.Lin, are you?”
I ask bec in rural areas in India there has been an interesting campaign to slowly improve married women’s lives, by promoting two very simple things: 1. to have the entire family eat at once, instead of the women eating nly after everyone else is done, and 2. to promote women calling their husbands by their first name instead of their last names. Such a subtle thing but psychologically important, apparently also to the men, who seem to feel that it is more romantic.
In lots of countries women have been used to giving their husband his title until very recently, and it doesnt signify lack of affection or oppression per se. But this story made me think of the way in which romance itself is now seen in almost every country as an important part of marriage, with a different weight than before (whether that is a good or a bad thing).
So just because you are nearer to China than I, my questions are a) does rural China
have that history of titling the husband, or was it wiped out by ‘revolutionary equality’? (I would doubt that because customs in the family do not change so quickly), b) or, is this sort of general change more of a pan-asia generational event? Or c) in modern marriages in cities all over Asia would it be bizarre if a wife called her husband Mr. John Jones in everyday situations (unless of course she was extremely angry!)….
Sorry to give you a glimpse of my usual ruminations, just to figure out the slightest thing. I blame it on an insane cultural and historical curiousity about people in other places on this earth.
ibisfeather
Sorry —
Good evening , dear @GB!
GrowingBeautifully (GB)
To your question @IB, I present to you ChatGPT’s gathering of information.
“It was very common in China (roughly 1900–1950s) for married couples not to call each other by given (first) names, and instead to use titles, kinship terms, or role-based forms of address. Calling a spouse by their given name could even feel overly intimate, improper, or disrespectful, depending on class and setting.
Common ways spouses addressed each other
1. By title or role
2. By kinship terms (especially after children)
3. Using “old + surname” or “that person” like old Wang
Change over time
May Fourth Movement (1919) and later Communist-era reforms (1949 onward) began to promote:
equality between spouses
use of 名字 (given names)
By the 1950s–1960s, calling each other by given names became more acceptable, especially in urban areas.
In China from the 2000s to 2025, how married people address each other is much more flexible and personal than in the past. There is no single “correct” form, it varies by generation, region, setting, and personality.
1. Most common: Given names or nicknames
Especially among:
urban couples
millennials & Gen Z
couples who married for love
2. “老公 / 老婆” (husband / wife)
Very common in casual speech.
老公 (lǎogōng) – husband
老婆 (lǎopó) – wife
Used:
privately
with friends
sometimes in public
3. Kinship terms after children
Still very common, especially once there are kids
4. Titles in public or formal settings
Occasionally used when:
speaking to outsiders
in professional or formal contexts
5. Surname + given name
Used when:
teasing
mock seriousness
during disagreements
one spouse wants attention
What feels unusual today
Avoiding direct address altogether → now feels distant
Using titles to address each other directly → sounds theatrical or ironic
Never using given names → suggests emotional distance
[There’s more but I’ll stop here]
Marriage now emphasizes companionship and emotional closeness, and forms of address reflect that shift. Did this answer your questions? I think it’s kind of a pan-Asian thing, actually but I have not done research on it.
ibisfeather
@GB
Cool. Thanks.
I know its from the AI, but it must feel correct to you, so that’s why I asked. We often know more exactly about these things generally from life experiences, so the personal view is an important check on tech.
So…to get back to XG — she takes a while to adjust and isnt sure how to proceed as their relationship progresses, but also she is just in herself not really a follower, prone to thinking things over for herself first.
She went from Mr.Lin to Lin YuSen fairly easily. Going to YuSen seems like a big step to me too, because he is essentially still such a formidable person. She puts herself on an equal footing with him, a final step towards friendship and companionship, but also there is something formal about it.
We have seen a lot of side swipes too at Western business ethics etc etc in the board room discussions. I imagine that these have to be written into the script after the screen writer submits.
Kate
I’m enjoying Episodes 25 onwards for many of the reasons you, @GB and @IbisFeather, outline so well above.
I do confess to feeling a little nervous about the way our FL handles the more overtly romantic scenes where kissing is involved. ZJM has something of a reputation for looking nervous/visible restraint in on-screen kissing, which also showed up in Snowstorm of Love, just for one instance, where Leo Wu’s passionate kissing occasionally seemed unreciprocated. Early on, this works well — she convincingly conveys shyness, modesty, and inexperience, and it’s a real strength that our ML is so respectful of his younger love interest here.
In this show, the first kiss was fine – if a bit poised – beautifully set under the blossom trees in Ep 24, but I’m hoping she’ll show a little more physical ease as the story progresses. She certainly doesn’t need to be a “hot” kisser just a little more relaxed. We saw a similar dynamic in Love O2O (the tv drama rather than the film), and this may well be one of those Chinese cultural or industry norms for some younger actresses who have a particular image to maintain. For kissing, I strongly prefer his romantic pairing with Victoria Song in ‘Find Yourself’ where he was cheeky and happy and less worthy than this script requires. But I will watch the next few episodes with interest and of course we can always ask @agdr03 to adjudicate!
Kate
*his romantic pairing* referring to Song Weilong of course. I chopped this post and lost the continuity.
agdr03
@Kate 👋🏻 I was very satisfied with the kisses in Find Yourself. 😉
I’m happy to adjudicate too if needs be on this drama. I can just go directly to the scenes if ever.
I’d like to start on Sniper Butterfly as my first 2026 cdrama. Hopefully next week when I have my week long break. ☺️
Kate
@agdr03 — those kisses were fab, weren’t they! Glad they pass muster with you! 😄
I’ll try to find you some timestamps once we’re all a little further through so we can get your expert take on kisses in this show — although some of the background story really does help set them up, which makes your job a trickier one!
@IB and everyone watching this show…
EP 25 was sweet. I enjoyed all the conversations. I even enjoyed the lecture on clean energy (it’s dilemmas and solutions). Yes in it the national stance was showcased, but that’s what it has always been, and in the face of external challenges, the solution is obvious.
I loved that smile at the end!!! He should do that more often! 😁😆😊
I managed to squeeze in Ep 26 too…
MINOR SPOILERS
XG has to deal with challenges to the PV Garden and we get to see the family relationships of YS and the Shengs.
I like it that there’s no hiding behind falsehood over the OTP relationship. It’s all out in the open and aboveboard. This is a relief and a happy change from what we normally get with workplace romances, especially when it’s between a boss and subordinate.
Ep25 — now we are in the dating era, the sun is out. I laughed a lot. They manage to flirt using language plucked from any situation they are in.
The lectures on the PV industry and national needs etc, are as cringe-y as usual, whether in the China of drama or in the US of tvseries.
The result of such slow-burn, respectful dating is that every little thing, whether telling Mom about your first date or saying goodnight by text for the first time, is a quiet thrill. It makes the show really fun to watch too.
Not that I think just any onscreen couple could make this work. Who knew? Song Weilong pairs perfectly with Zhao Jin Mai.
@IB, it’s so nice to have a space where we don’t have to worry about too many spoilers when we chat.
EPISODES 24-25
So good because it’s all out in the open and happy dating days will be certain now that our OTP are minted.
Zhuang Xu and his workmates come to visit Kevin in hospital. He realises that he does not even have the contact number of Lin Yu Sen who had helped to save Kevin. To his dismay, he finds that Kevin has retrograde amnesia which means he cannot find out what Kevin meant when he had said that Dr Lin was pursuing Xi Guang.
ZX obviously thinks that as long as XG is still being pursued, that he still has a chance with her. BUT!!! He did NOT pursue her when he DID have the chance, so what the ….??? He just stood his ground in silence and let her do the coming or going, and he stood there in judgement of her instead of clearly asking, or making a stand on his own relationship with Ye Rong.
So from the previews here and there and from his personality, I expect at least 1 troublesome scene where once again he accosts XG but instead of clarifying properly without rancour, he shows disapproval and generally accuses or demands explanation. In romantic relationships he is inept and naive, since he thinks that one declaration from a young person (Xi Guang) should stand as an unchanging promise that cannot be broken, no matter what he (ZX) does or does not do.
I’ve written in my own notes how I noticed that ZX is a fuddy-duddy (ie stuffy) disapproving guy. That seems to be his go-to reaction/response to XG at least and perhaps even to Ye Rong. On one hand I understand why he would feel ‘betrayed’ by innocent XG (I’ll have that up in my Ep 1-2 notes). But on the other, I disapprove of him and feel he deserves what he fails to have.
EPISODES 24-25
I’m so chuffed!!! I mentioned in the WAWW thread that there could be a play on the names ‘Xi Guang’ and ‘Yu Sen’ and it actually was mentioned by XG (scene in the car). She says roughly what I surmised… that Yu Sen had a lot of the wood/tree element in his name ie he’s a forest, waiting for the morning light (ie Xi Guang). She protests that her mild morning light won’t be able to light up the big forest, but he says he would wait for her to be like the midday sun (or something like that). I have to rewatch to get the actual words. 🤪🙃
Corrigendum
The Conversation about their names that I mention above was in Ep 26 (not 24-25) and it was not in the car but when they were texting each other. XG has looked at YS’s resume again and notices something that starts the text messaging. She’s in Shanghai and he was in Shenzhen, timestamp 18.30 onwards.
XG: “Lin Yu Sen, I just noticed your name is literally all wood. Does your birth chart say you’re short on that element or something?”
YS:”With this much wood/trees, the only thing I’m missing is sunlight.”
XG: “That’s a whole lot of forest just waiting for a little morning glow (Xi Guang’s name can be translated to ‘morning glow’) to shine through, you know?”
Yu Sen looks up at the bright sky.
YS: “I’m holding out for you to hit me with that scorching midday blaze.”
She is touched by his words … I guess he means that he’s prepared to be a dark forest and wait to be illuminated only by her as she grows into a strong source of light.
The Real Estate Scenery Metaphor
Unlike in her travels in Europe with Jiang Rui, where the scenery did not belong to them and had to be left behind, YS is the Real Estate that does belong to XG, and which XG does not need to say goodbye to in her travels, because her journeys now are within the Estate that will be her home.
Jiang Rui had said that they were young enough to get their own Real Estate Scenery, a view with XG’s name written all over it.
JR: “Haven’t you already found it, Lin Yu Sen, meaning the island forest literally. Nothing’s more immoveable than that.”
XG: “True I found it a long time ago, but just now I finally wrote my name on it.”
XG drives them to the Wuxi Train Station but before YS leaves, he wants her to make good on what she said to JR by writing her name on his hand. (I thought she’d take out a pen LOL, but she just used a finger to write her name.)
That’s a change from the usual prolonged (and a bit embarrassing) goodbye kiss in the car thing. It was a looong shot of them with their heads poring over his hand, or with him watching her with stars in his eyes… it was possibly even more romantic.
@GB
making my delighted way through ep26’s first 15 minutes.
Thanks so much for the wood and sunlight pre-tip!
I usually just let naming discussions involing the elements wash over me vaguely, but this was such a series of silly romantic and flirtatious exchanges that LYS upping the ante from her ‘morning glow’ into a ‘midday blaze’ seemed very daring.
I had just finished chortling about the ‘Boyfriend User Manual’ he had texted to her the evening before, and nearly fell off my chair when he countered her jab at ‘product return’ with a suggestion that she ‘test out’ features in ‘this product’ which had ‘not been unlocked before’.
A swift reflection of all kinds of jargon, the last was of conversations on line with customer service agents.
A great writer makes everything seem new and fun again. Even the most mundane of experiences is grist for her mill.
@ibisfeather, I caught this post in the To Be Moderated pile. Sorry. The blog is acting wonky right now.
Thank you. I did wonder. It seemed awfully subtle of the blog to catch me talking about racy dialogue!
@GB, I was right!
ep27
spoiler
LYS will have XG’s back in some kind of massive corporate problem because now the two of them will control their own company — 51% LYS, 49% XG’s Mom.
That is if the uncles dont block the share transfer.
This episode also really clarified LYS’ changes of heart. Now that he has shed resentments over the accident-on-the-road-to-Wuxi, he is set on a path which will take him away from the PV world.
It isnt clear to me whether he and his mom will still need to take some sort of retribution for the death of his dad, though.
‘LYS’ tricks’ acc. to XG…he thinks so far ahead that he is always ready to tease her about their future; it sets her back on her heels because she is always very present-focussed.
That is a good way to think about their complementarity: XG is, at work, a very ‘present’ personality, active, focussed and inspiring, while SWL is currently (in love/at business) a foresighted long-term planner. In the office he may be a bit of a dweeb, but he is very romantic in private despite being somewhat inexperienced. Whereas XG has got a bit of the dork in her romantic habits — she is so straightforward and simple-minded.
@IB, I’m almost as excited by the corporate change of ownership story as I am about the romance! I guess now that the romance is more or less set with most of the elders in full approval, we will be given conflict elsewhere.
I know there will be another scene or so of ZX trying again to get close to XG. Perhaps we’ll also have Ye Rong again, coming around to cause misunderstandings.
The other thing is that the colleagues of XG do not know her family background. Her family own 49% of their company, so in effect she really is their boss (and YS’s boss). This will however be a small matter between friends unless played up by some scheming instigators.
There is still the mystery of what happened in the Sheng and Lin past that led to YS’s dad’s exile. As we are only vaguely told about his death which took place in a foreign land, I don’t think the death itself was suspicious. What I gathered was that YS’s mum blamed her father and brother for forcing her husband out of the country, and resented them so much that she’s refused to see them since her husband died.
Dad Lin’s background was poorer than the Shengs, but I believe he was no less savvy in business. I need to come across the scenes of conversations about the dad again. I thought that he was sidelined so as not to take the spotlight away from the Shengs.
Good Morning @GB!
Yes, I actually wanted to review it all too.
These were my recollections — in conversation with her mom (was her aunt there too?) when Lin YuSen first came up as a topic, her mom warned XG that Xg’s Dad had been friends with LinYuSen’s uncle Bo Kai when there was trouble….I think she mentioned LSY’s dad but am not sure.
Obviously the ski chalet conversation(s) (we only hear the one) were relevant in that it is made clear that LSY’s Dad was better at business than Grandpa Sheng’s sons by blood. Out of jealousy the uncles pushed him out somehow.
And the death was due to a foreign political crisis in which the Dad was somehow injured. I feel as if we were about to get more details about it in connection to LSY changing majors, but that didnt happen.
I need to check bec I said essentially this in the mdl comment section and there was a general ruckus between several people — it turned out the book has a different take on blame and causation to the show-script.
@GB
I just remembered that Dad Nie deposited a large sum of money in XG’s Mom’s account for XG, of the episodes you have been reviewing for the 1=24 thread,area also early on in the
What was that in connection with?
Was that related to the money Dad Nie should have been paying to Shuangyuan (the PV company).
How confusing that the PV co. has a name so close to Grandpa Sheng’s corporation, Shengyuan(?i think).
@IB, oh dear, I do not recall clearly anything about money being left for XG. I think I generally switch off when Dad Nie comes onto the screen LOL.
Morning, GB!
Here’s a question about subtext for you. It is an anthropological connection but also a modern question about gender roles in China.
I am in the early bit of 28 where the two of them are in the car and LYS is trying to convince XG to call him by his first names instead of the whole set of three. My guess, possi blt incorrect, is that he is being ‘slightly ‘modern’ in this — but only if you look at his long-term sense that he is planning marriage. Something like, “You arent going to be like those grannies who call their husbands Mr.Lin, are you?”
I ask bec in rural areas in India there has been an interesting campaign to slowly improve married women’s lives, by promoting two very simple things: 1. to have the entire family eat at once, instead of the women eating nly after everyone else is done, and 2. to promote women calling their husbands by their first name instead of their last names. Such a subtle thing but psychologically important, apparently also to the men, who seem to feel that it is more romantic.
In lots of countries women have been used to giving their husband his title until very recently, and it doesnt signify lack of affection or oppression per se. But this story made me think of the way in which romance itself is now seen in almost every country as an important part of marriage, with a different weight than before (whether that is a good or a bad thing).
So just because you are nearer to China than I, my questions are a) does rural China
have that history of titling the husband, or was it wiped out by ‘revolutionary equality’? (I would doubt that because customs in the family do not change so quickly), b) or, is this sort of general change more of a pan-asia generational event? Or c) in modern marriages in cities all over Asia would it be bizarre if a wife called her husband Mr. John Jones in everyday situations (unless of course she was extremely angry!)….
Sorry to give you a glimpse of my usual ruminations, just to figure out the slightest thing. I blame it on an insane cultural and historical curiousity about people in other places on this earth.
Sorry —
Good evening , dear @GB!
To your question @IB, I present to you ChatGPT’s gathering of information.
“It was very common in China (roughly 1900–1950s) for married couples not to call each other by given (first) names, and instead to use titles, kinship terms, or role-based forms of address. Calling a spouse by their given name could even feel overly intimate, improper, or disrespectful, depending on class and setting.
Common ways spouses addressed each other
1. By title or role
2. By kinship terms (especially after children)
3. Using “old + surname” or “that person” like old Wang
Change over time
May Fourth Movement (1919) and later Communist-era reforms (1949 onward) began to promote:
equality between spouses
use of 名字 (given names)
By the 1950s–1960s, calling each other by given names became more acceptable, especially in urban areas.
In China from the 2000s to 2025, how married people address each other is much more flexible and personal than in the past. There is no single “correct” form, it varies by generation, region, setting, and personality.
1. Most common: Given names or nicknames
Especially among:
urban couples
millennials & Gen Z
couples who married for love
2. “老公 / 老婆” (husband / wife)
Very common in casual speech.
老公 (lǎogōng) – husband
老婆 (lǎopó) – wife
Used:
privately
with friends
sometimes in public
3. Kinship terms after children
Still very common, especially once there are kids
4. Titles in public or formal settings
Occasionally used when:
speaking to outsiders
in professional or formal contexts
5. Surname + given name
Used when:
teasing
mock seriousness
during disagreements
one spouse wants attention
What feels unusual today
Avoiding direct address altogether → now feels distant
Using titles to address each other directly → sounds theatrical or ironic
Never using given names → suggests emotional distance
[There’s more but I’ll stop here]
Marriage now emphasizes companionship and emotional closeness, and forms of address reflect that shift. Did this answer your questions? I think it’s kind of a pan-Asian thing, actually but I have not done research on it.
@GB
Cool. Thanks.
I know its from the AI, but it must feel correct to you, so that’s why I asked. We often know more exactly about these things generally from life experiences, so the personal view is an important check on tech.
So…to get back to XG — she takes a while to adjust and isnt sure how to proceed as their relationship progresses, but also she is just in herself not really a follower, prone to thinking things over for herself first.
She went from Mr.Lin to Lin YuSen fairly easily. Going to YuSen seems like a big step to me too, because he is essentially still such a formidable person. She puts herself on an equal footing with him, a final step towards friendship and companionship, but also there is something formal about it.
As ever, contemporary geopolitics are never far away. Here is a BBC piece about a problematic map in Episode 25 purely for your interest: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c301n41518do
We have seen a lot of side swipes too at Western business ethics etc etc in the board room discussions. I imagine that these have to be written into the script after the screen writer submits.
I’m enjoying Episodes 25 onwards for many of the reasons you, @GB and @IbisFeather, outline so well above.
I do confess to feeling a little nervous about the way our FL handles the more overtly romantic scenes where kissing is involved. ZJM has something of a reputation for looking nervous/visible restraint in on-screen kissing, which also showed up in Snowstorm of Love, just for one instance, where Leo Wu’s passionate kissing occasionally seemed unreciprocated. Early on, this works well — she convincingly conveys shyness, modesty, and inexperience, and it’s a real strength that our ML is so respectful of his younger love interest here.
In this show, the first kiss was fine – if a bit poised – beautifully set under the blossom trees in Ep 24, but I’m hoping she’ll show a little more physical ease as the story progresses. She certainly doesn’t need to be a “hot” kisser just a little more relaxed. We saw a similar dynamic in Love O2O (the tv drama rather than the film), and this may well be one of those Chinese cultural or industry norms for some younger actresses who have a particular image to maintain. For kissing, I strongly prefer his romantic pairing with Victoria Song in ‘Find Yourself’ where he was cheeky and happy and less worthy than this script requires. But I will watch the next few episodes with interest and of course we can always ask @agdr03 to adjudicate!
*his romantic pairing* referring to Song Weilong of course. I chopped this post and lost the continuity.
@Kate 👋🏻 I was very satisfied with the kisses in Find Yourself. 😉
I’m happy to adjudicate too if needs be on this drama. I can just go directly to the scenes if ever.
I’d like to start on Sniper Butterfly as my first 2026 cdrama. Hopefully next week when I have my week long break. ☺️
@agdr03 — those kisses were fab, weren’t they! Glad they pass muster with you! 😄
I’ll try to find you some timestamps once we’re all a little further through so we can get your expert take on kisses in this show — although some of the background story really does help set them up, which makes your job a trickier one!