I fast-forwarded to Ep 30 to see what @GB, @ibisfeather, and @angelswingsf were talking about.
This is my very long reactionary post.

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The episode begins with the second male lead, Zhuang Xu (ZX), answering a call from his college buddies inviting him to attend a reunion. Though Nie Xiguang’s name is mentioned in passing, ZX declines the invite. He’s already out with his coworkers, celebrating the birthday of one of the ladies.

But the birthday girl Chris notices the change in his mood and probes the reason for his gloomy spirits.

Chris: Are you in love with your student’s cousin?
ZX: Yes.
Chris: When I asked you at Changbai Mountain, you dodged the question. But now you’re being upfront. Is it because you’ve picked up on my feelings for you? So, is this your way of turning me down?
ZX: I’m so sorry, Chris.

Hmph! Chris should be grateful that he gave her an honest reply. I guess he wants to avoid any office entanglement and/or semblance of leading her on. I can’t help wishing that he’d given Nie Xiguang the same honest reply back in college.

Chris tries to shake off the rejection and excuses her straightforwardness.

Chris: I guess I was a bit too impulsive, wasn’t I? But that’s just who I am. I like things clear-cut. Starting the new year with a clean slate and no lingering what-ifs is my birthday gift to myself. But Zhuang Xu, I want to give you a gift too. I don’t know what kind of misunderstanding there is between you and her, but she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Dr. Lin is just one of her suitors. At the café on the summit of Changbai Mountain, Kevin and I overheard the conversation between him and your student.
ZX: What did you say?
Chris: Yeah. You heard me. The girl you like is still single.

Do you also notice like I do how frequently he gets these secondhand reports from his friends? On the surface, I get that his well-meaning friends pass on these snippets of info about Nie Xiguang (NX) in hopes of aiding him in his courtship.

But their assistance always backfires on him. Take for instance, the news of NX returning from Wuxi a day early in Episode 1. Somebody passed on this intel to him, and I suspect that he contrived to set up a celebratory dinner to coincide with her homecoming. But instead of welcoming her, they ended up arguing about her future job prospects (or her lack of it).

Chris: At the very least, you were honest with me, so I hope you land the girl of your dreams. Though I have a feeling that Dr. Lin won’t be easy to beat. You’d better step up your game.

Her words give him hope – or feed his delusion? (it all depends on how you look at his situation) – and he takes leave of his coworkers to join his college buddies at the karaoke bar.

Now, the scene in the karaoke is cringe-y to watch for three reasons.

One, ZX drinks too much.

I guess his first glass can be excused because it’s some sort of punishment for arriving late. But his fourth, fifth, sixth shots show lack of self-restraint and social manners. I get that he’s most likely drowning himself in alcohol to give himself courage and to steel his nerves. But his state of intoxication makes me wonder whether he’s all-together there during his love confession rant.

Two, ZX sings “Faith.”

This is the original song by Jeff Chang.

I know NX likes this song. Back in college, she told her roommates that if ever a suitor proposed to her with this song, it would be difficult for her to reject him.

But to me, the song is cringe-worthy. It reminds me of the conversation between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy about the effectiveness of poetry in fostering romance in “Pride and Prejudice.”

Elizabeth Bennet: I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!
Mr. Darcy: I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love.
Elizabeth Bennet: Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.

This song proves Elizabeth’s point.

Nie Xiguang was far from falling in love with ZX when he crooned this ballad. Thus, instead of falling for him, she thought his not-so-subtle proposal was a mood-killer.

She couldn’t wait to leave the party after his lovelorn act.

Three, ZX only knows the first part of the song. (facepalms)

I think his inability to sing the chorus part is symbolic of his emotional impotence. For one, despite the lyrics already provided to him, he fails to launch – or to belt out – the core message of the song found in the chorus. For another, he leaves his listeners hanging (just like he did with NX).

His buddies grumble.

Boys: (confused) What’s going on? Why did you stop right at the chorus?
ZX: I don’t know the rest.
The birthday girl: (disgruntled) I’ve heard of people who only know the chorus, but who only knows the beginning??

To me, this is indicative of ZH’s “arrested development.” He lacks the RESOLVE or determination to push through the obstacles in order to achieve his relationship goals. Thus, his emotional growth is stunted and lives in perpetual regrets.

And sure, we have a host of reasons for his arrested development. To name a few:

his economic insecurity,
his class (or social status) anxiety,
his lack of self-confidence,
his fear of not measuring up to NX,
his family constraints,
his financial responsibilities,
his secret wealth envy,
whatever.

The next important scene after the karaoke scene is the actual confrontation between NX and ZX. It unfolds in two parts: by the elevators then outside the building.

A. By the elevators

ZX: Nie Xi Guang. Would it be okay if I didn’t sing that song under your balcony?

He sounds so pathetically desperate.

This is what he means: he’s aware that she once declared that she couldn’t refuse a suitor who would sing “Faith” under the balcony. Thus, he’s asking her if if she can consider him pleading for her, even though he sang the song in a karaoke room instead of under her balcony.

Also, remember what I said earlier about his friends’ info-sharing always ends up backfiring on him? One of his roommates must have told him about NX liking that song. Whoever that buddy was, ZX doesn’t owe him any favors.

NX: How did you know?

Why is she always surprised that ZX is well-informed of her whereabouts, likes and dislikes? Doesn’t she know that there’s more than one possible informant in her dorm room? Her roommates date boys who live in ZX’s dorm room.

ZX ignores her question and brings up Chris’ scoop.

ZX: On New Year’s Day, you and Lin Yusen weren’t a thing, were you? Why did you lie to me?

He’s fixated on this issue because he believes that she lied because she still had feelings for him and was using Lin Yusen (LY) to keep him away. If he can make her admit that she lied to hide her feelings for him, then HE THINKS he still has a chance to win her heart.

NX: It doesn’t even matter anymore. We’re a thing now.

He can’t dispute this. Earlier in the karaoke room, one of the guys mentioned seeing NX and LY kissing before she got out of his car.

ZX: Is that so? I figured as much. But back then, why lie to me? After graduation, I thought you’d work in Shanghai. I even submitted a few resumes for you at the job fair that were all close to Huaya. But you never showed up.

Why is he even bringing this up?

First of all, he took it upon himself to distribute her resumes. She didn’t ask him to submit a resume for her. Secondly, Lin Yusen was right when he suspected ZX of giving her resume to ShengYuang because it was conveniently right across from Huaya. Lol. Thirdly, she always said that she didn’t have to work in Shanghai. She was open to work in Wuxi and elsewhere. How weird of ZX to think that she’d follow him in Shanghai.

ZX: (continuing) I couldn’t help but call you, but your phone was always off. I tried Jiang Rui’s too, but same thing. Later, I went back to Nanjing and stopped by Jiang Rui’s place. Ms. Zhang told me that both of you had gone abroad to study.

In other words, he was angry because he thought that she ghosted him. He doesn’t appear to know that a) China’s a big country, and b) “life happens.” Especially after graduation, people move around and start new lives elsewhere.

ZX: Then it’s our meeting on New Year’s Day. You told me you were already with someone else and that the trip was just a study tour.

Ugh! He’s acting like she’s a runaway bride and he’s the jilted groom. But they have no obligation, much less romantic bonds, to continue regular encounters and communications after graduation.

ZX: And now, someone tells me that you two weren’t even together back then!

So? So what? Why is he outraged?

ZX: What did I do wrong, Nie XiGuang?

Hooo boy! Someone please tell me this is a rhetorical question.

How can he be so clueless, so lacking in self-awareness as to ask her this question. We could come up with a laundry list of his offenses.

For starters: being judgy about working her internship in Wuxi; rubbing it in her face that she’s a nepo baby; ignoring her text to confirm his relationship with Yong; taking Yong’s side instead of hers when she was accused of lying.

ZX: I could have accepted a hundred different reasons, but don’t you feel any regret to miss out like this?

“Non, je ne regrette rien.” – Edith Piaf

Can you believe the sheer arrogance of this dude?

NX regrets nothing because she’s with Lin Yusen now. Lin Yusen is a hundred times better than ZX. Lin Yusen treats her dearly while ZX can’t even decide if she’s the main character or just a sidepiece/sidekick of Yong. She regrets missing out on a life with ZX like she regrets missing out on a root canal.

NX: I don’t get what you are trying to say.

(Waves my hand) Neither do I. What’s he saying? That he’s a better catch than LY? How does that even compute?

NX: But there’s one thing I’ve always wanted to clear up with you.
ZX: Go ahead.
NX: Back in college, I asked Ye Rong about you two. She told me you were just neighbors who barely knew each other. That’s the only reason I confessed to you. I never had any intention of stealing someone else’s guy.

Spoken like a daughter who lived through her parents’ ugly divorce. After watching her dad “being stolen” from her mom by a “childhood friend” of his, she wouldn’t want that same complication in her life. She wouldn’t want to step into a pre-existing romantic relationship and break it up.

Gee, thanks Zuang Xi for making NX feel like the trash-y “other woman.”

NX: I texted you back then to explain everything, but you never replied. Did you ever get that message?
ZX: I did. But I…
NX: (interrupting him) Well then, I have no regrets now.

Turnabout is fair play. He never responded to her text. So, why is he complaining that he couldn’t get in touch with her? I also like that she interrupts him, giving him no time to come up with excuses.

NX: I cleared my name. I’m good now.

So succinct.

She means that his reply “I did” is sufficient evidence to absolve her of his accusations of wrongdoing, neglect and oversight. He can’t criticize her for avoiding his calls and disappearing on him when he did exactly the same things to her. There’s nothing she must feel guilty for. She’s unbothered by his remonstrances.

ZX is stunned and speechless. As her pithy words sink in, he realizes he messed up royally. I like that she doesn’t need to display vehemence and ferocity to get her message across. Her measured approach conveys finality.

She walks past him and gets in the elevator. ZX chases after but before he can follow her inside the elevator, she verbally blocks him. She doesn’t want him sharing the elevator with her.

NX: I’m getting on here. Please wait for the next one.

I like the visuals of the elevator doors closing on them; ZX going round and round as he descends; ZX breaking sweat as he scrambles down the escalator; and NX gliding out of the elevator. Metaphor galore!

Doors closing = his missed chance; end of their chapter
Going round and round = mirrors ZX’s mental state; memories of her replaying in his mind
Running down the escalator = since when did he do anything at breakneck speed for her before? Never. And that’s why he lost her
Chasing her = too little, too late
NX swanning out of the elevator = perfect exit strategy. She’s undisturbed by his emotional display

B. Outside the building

ZX: Nie Xiguang. Nie Xiguang. I’m so sorry. I know I messed up big time. I had so many misconceptions about you, and I’ve been trying to make it up. I thought once I got to Shanghai we could start over.

Let me see now. They’ve only been out of college 6 months, right?

ZX: I thought we still had time But once we graduated, you vanished. I looked everywhere for you. I thought you’d gone abroad. I went to Jiang Rui’s place to find you. But Ms Zhang told me you were studying overseas.

Hey! Why is he repeated himself? Didn’t he tell her this already?

ZX: Nie Xiguang, you said it yourself. Back at graduation, you said the “big grape” would come back.
NX: Let go of me.

To be honest, I was half expecting LY to show up out of the blue and punch ZX cold.

ZX: I know I shouldn’t be doing this. You’re with someone else now. I shouldn’t have come here just to humiliate myself. All my life, I’ve been terrified of losing. But Nie Xiguang. I’ve already lost everything. What else is there to lose? You think I’ve lost my mind, don’t you?

Personally, if I were in NX’s shoes, I would think he was drunk-talking.

ZX: Of course, I have! Otherwise, how could I have lost control? I’ve been holding it in for so long. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to find you. In Changbaii Mountain, or right here. But I held back. Nie Xiguang I’ve been fighting this every single day. But why tell me now that you weren’t even together on New Year’s Day? How am I supposed to accept that? Why do I keep missing my chance? The world has been so unfair to me, and so have you!

Honestly, I thought this scene would make a nice villain origin story. This kind of trauma, injustice, feeling that fate conspiring against him, and slow descent into madness is how we got villains like Lord Voldemort (aka Tom Riddle).

NX: Whether you can accept it or not has nothing to do with me.

Fact. It’s a cold – and uncharitable – thing to say but it’s objectively true. She isn’t responsible for how his obsessions and delusions.

NX: (continuing) Why did I lie to you on New Year’s Day? Can’t you just stop and think for a second? For a big-shot investment banker, you shouldn’t be this forgetful.

Ironically enough, she’s sticking to facts. Let’s recall what happened on that ill-fated New Year’s Day encounter. Just before Lin Yusen showed up, Ye Rong was targeting NX in her usual passive-aggressive way. At first, she was simply talking about decorating the wedding hall for their friend, Boss, but it became a criticism of NX.

Ye Rong’s words: Xiguang, Boss was setting up the wedding venue today. Why didn’t you come? Honestly, you should have come. You can learn a lot. By the time, you tie the knot, you’ll get the hang of it. Plus, decorating a wedding venue is a lot of fun.

NX tried to brush it off with a self-deprecating comment that she was born lazy. So, YR switched the topic to their misunderstanding in college. Again, it sounded like a sincere apology in the beginning, but she then turned it into open bragging and fault-finding.

Ye Rong’s words: By the way, Xiguang, I want to apologize for what happened before. Sorry for misjudging you. After being in the real world, I realized our bond in college is truly rare. Now that I’ve found my happiness (she glanced behind her, implying that she and ZX were dating), I hope you find yours, too. Seriously, don’t just sit on the sidelines. Find your Mr. Right.

Only then did ZX cut Ye Rong off. But at the very same moment, Lin Yusen appeared in the picture. It was his “heroic moment.” He called out NX’s name and everybody turned to watch him climb up the stairs — two steps at a time. Note: the camera filmed his purposeful steps in slow-motion to impress the viewers with Lin Yusen’s “deus ex machina” move here.

Now, NX wants ZX to remember and understand WHY she went along with everybody’s misconception that Lin Yusen was her boyfriend. She was being publicly attacked and shamed by his self-styled “girlfriend” AND he didn’t come to her defense until it was too late.

That said, NX didn’t outright lie and introduce Lin Yusen as her boyfriend. Everybody just assumed that he was because he held her hand. She and LY just went along with the misinterpretation to protect her.

NX: I don’t know what’s gotten into you today. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I have a boyfriend. So please, keep your distance as a fellow alumnus. Don’t say such inappropriate things to me.
ZX: Inappropriate? Now you’re telling me it’s inappropriate? Weren’t you the one being inappropriaite from the very start.

Inappropriate = love confessions

He’s conflating the two incidents. Right now, his love declaration is totally inappropriate. One, she already stated her non-reciprocity or non-interest in his love confession. Two, he’s under the influence of alcohol. Three, he’s demonstrably exerting pressure on her (in fact, he’s restraining her physically by holding her wrist and stopping her from entering her taxi). Four, he’s causing her emotional distress. His love declaration is nothing like her innocuous love confession back in their junior year of college.

ZX: Weren’t you the one being inappropriate from the very start? You knew we weren’t a match, yet you were so obsessed with forcing your way into my life.

Huh? After the texting incident, she avoided being in his company or seeking him out. At this point, he’s no longer trying to be cogent. He’s just venting out his frustration on her. Yikes. Red flag. I would recommend a boyfriend like him.

ZX: And the moment, I finally gave in, you just walked away and disappeared. If you could be inappropriate back then, why can’t I be now?

Oh dear. He’s having a temper tantrum right now. If I were his mom, I’d say this, “Because, my dear child, her love confession was done in junior year when you were both two years younger. I expect a more mature version of you, a more mature response to rejection, now that you’ve been out working in the real world for 6 months. Part of growing up is learning the grace to accept losses and other unfavorable outcomes.”

NX: Zhuang Xu, stop lying to yourself. Is it really that hard to reach out to someone? If our phone is off, is that really the end of it?

In other words, he should learn to read the writing on the wall. She’s saying that if she really wanted to continue contact with him after graduation, she would have. It wasn’t that hard to reach out to him; she knew where he worked. Additionally, it wasn’t that hard to call him up; she had his contact info or, at least, she knew how to connect with him through his friends. But the fact that she didn’t communicate with him is a clear indication that she wasn’t interested in him anymore.

NX: You say you misunderstood me, but what right do you have to say that? Just because of some gossip? We spent so much time together. I did so much and said so much. Were you just blind and deaf? With your IQ and EQ, did you really see nothing through it all? You just didn’t want to.

Lol. She’s letting it rip, all her frustrations with him. She’s saying that he can’t accuse her of “leading him on” or deliberately misleading him. There was a time that she wanted his affection. She gave him numerous openings (i.e., “did so much, and said so much”) to declare himself. But he passed up on those opportunities. He never said anything to encourage her (i.e., he was being “just blind and deaf”). And worst of all, when she gave him the chance to explain his complicated relationship with Ye Rong, he dodged it.

So, what else could she do? She took his actions (or non-actions) as a sign that he was uninterested in her and moved on.

NX: You just took advantage of my feelings.

Yes, it was understandable that she reached this conclusion because he sent out mixed signals. On one hand, he showed clear signs of favoring her (e.g., when he handed out her resumes). But on the other hand, he didn’t clarify his tenuous relationship with Ye Rong, letting NX think that she’s an awkward, unwanted third wheel.

Take for instance, the phone that he gave Ye Rong. Ye Rong bragged about it, touting it as proof of ZX’s feelings for her. But I wouldn’t be surprised if ZX bought it to appease her and to redirect the attention (and hate-filled gossip) away from NX. I think in the early stages, ZX did a lot of things for ZX that showed his interest in her. But NX didn’t want to “overthink” it because she believed ZX was in a “some” relationship with Ye Rong already.

Sigh. All those wasted moments! If only he had told NX that a) she mattered to him, and b) he didn’t feel THAT way about Ye Rong at all. While it’s true that action speaks louder than words. sometimes, that’s all a girl needs: reassuring WORDS that she isn’t a second fiddle.

NX: I didn’t even know I was the “big grape.” But even if I had understood back then, why should I be the one to come crawling back. So there was never a “missing chance.” Even if there hadn’t been a misunderstanding on New Year’s Day, I still would have chosen him. No. It wasn’t even a choice.

There’s a flashback of LY telling her, “You say, you still have feelings for him. That’s fine. Take your pick.”

NX: When he walked into my life, saying honestly about his feelings for me, it was never about making a choice. I was always going to end up with him.

She means that choosing LY over ZX wasn’t much of a choice. It was a no-brainer, a foregone conclusion that she’d fall for LY and want to be with him.

She looks around and finally notices their college friends standing in the background. No doubt they heard this whole unfortunate lovers’ quarrel (or should I say, un-lovers’ quarrel).

This cathartic moment is much needed in this drama. It’s necessary not just for the characters, but also for the viewers who can relate to NX and want her to release all her pent-up resentment for ZX. For me, what’s brilliant about this movement is how the screenwriter(s) allowed NX’s emotions to slow-burn to volcanic fury.

She’s clearly trying not to escalate the situation. After ZX sang that song in the karaoke, she left the place. When ZX intercepted at the elevators, she allowed him to rant before rejecting his whole grievance campaign in three short sentences – “I have no regrets now. I cleared my name. I’m good now.” Only after he stopped her from getting into her ride, and rehashed the same tiresome accusation, did she blast him with a brutal and incontrovertible truth.

In the end, she gets the last word in. And the audience is slow-clapping.

ZX can blame a lot of things for their non-existent relationship: unlucky fate, wealth disparity, missed phone call, false reports, the New Year’s Day “lie”, and whatever. But ultimately, he has to face the truth that LY is a much better man for NX than he can ever be.

I thought that the hugging scene with LY afterwards is well-deserved. NX earned that embrace after the emotional wringer ZX put her through.

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I have to end here. Enjoy my reactionary post with the reactionary gifs. 🙂