Okay…where are we? Where did I leave off writing about this Cdrama?

Go Go Squid! Eps 13 & 14 Review

1. Reunion

Two weeks after their break-up, Nian is still waiting for Shangyan to talk to her after the audition. She knows that Shangyan isn’t mad with her anymore after he sent her the “confession” bottle so she’s wondering why he’s still refusing to see her.

She hears rumors that Shangyan has a new girlfriend and incorrectly assumes that Shangyan has found a replacement for her. She doesn’t realize that the rumor’s about her.

She still has the blues when her birthday comes around. She refuses her college admirer’s invitation to celebrate her birthday with him because she’s down in the dumps. She thinks, “He already has a girlfriend, what’s there to celebrate? Celebrate that I returned to being single and that he already found someone?”

lol. Oh woe is me!

Unknown to her, Shangyan was forced by his grandfather to bring her home to celebrate her birthday with them. When she sees him walking towards her on campus, she’s struck speechless.

Honestly, if I were Nian, I’d be petrified. He looked like the Angel of Death  dressed in black from head and toe, and accessorized with that perpetual scowl on his face.

Then, after days of silence, he greets her with great joy (sarcasm alert!) saying, “Why the long face?”

I get him. Most people go through the niceties and say, “How have you been?” “Long time, no see,” and “Happy birthday!” But worry-warts like Shangyan show their protective side when they’re gruff.

She begins to deny it but he immediately pounces on her college admirer and accuses him of bullying Nian.

“Are you bullying her?”

Talk about projection! He’s the one mistreated her but he passes off his guilt to somebody else. Ha! But this lovesick girl, Nian, thinks he’s cute and tries hard to control her smile. She likes this macho act of his.

College admirer: (flustered) No, I didn’t. I’m her senior. We compete in coding competitions together. Big brother, (equivalent of the “Hyung” honorific) please don’t misunderstand.

lol. The guy think Shangyan is way too old to be a competition for Nian’s affection.

SY: ACM competition?
CA: Do you know about ACM?
SY: Did you compete with that person over there? (nodding towards Wu Bai)

Her college admirer walks over to Wu Bai, leaving Nian and Shangyan momentarily alone together. Shangyan’s plan to get him out of the works but when he looks at Nian, she avoids his eyes.

Here, I like that they’re tacitly agreeing not to talk about a) their break-up after she got drunk, b) their accidental meeting at the audition, and c) his surprise visit to the recording studio. Really now, what IS there to talk about? Sometimes, a post-mortem or an examination of a broken relationship is necessary, but sometimes, re-opening old wounds for the purpose of apportioning blame (i.e., who did what to whom) is pointless.

And remember what he told LA’s mom at the amusement park? He said, ““I only believe in doing it or not doing it. I don’t think about whether I can do it. If you don’t do it, then you have nothing. Isn’t that so?”  I explained back then that he’s a man of action, not a man of contemplation.

Nian’s admirer returns to them all agog about seeing Wu Bai who’s the world champion in AMC. In a payback to the dig about his age, Shangyan pats the guy’s shoulder and said with 100% condescension, “World champion? Then, losing to him isn’t embarrassing. Young man, you have to accept your loss.”

lol. I think Shangyan’s hinting at the guy that he’s a loser in more ways than one. He can “steal” Nian from right under his nose. Like this:

SY: (addressing Nian) Can we go now?
Nian: Where we going?
SY: We’re going to go play. I’ll take you back before nine. (He turns to leave. Nian immediately follows him.)
Nian: Bye-bye, Zheng Hui. (with a big smile)

Walking towards the jeep, she asks Shangyan, “How did you know I was at school?” He answers that he asked Lan Mei’s husband who in turn asked Lan Mei. Wu Bai hears this and remarks that he has many spies around Nian.

Inside the jeep, he clarifies that it was his grandpa who wanted to see her. “I had no other choice, so help me.” Nian says that she doesn’t mind helping him as she likes to see his grandpa, too. Curtly, Shangyan responds, “Just this once. It won’t be repeated.”

lol. He sounds angry as if HE’s doing HER a favor so Nian mutters, “Shouldn’t I be the one to say that?” I think she’s wondering why he’s upset when she should have been the one insisting not to be bothered again.

2. Birthday lunch with Grandpa

The Grandpa is happy to see her again, and he wastes no time trying to push Nian and Shangyan together.  He tells Nian that Shanyan bought the cake for the occasion: a strawberry cheesecake with some blueberries added. (Shangyan doesn’t know it yet but strawberries are Nian’s favorite.)

Next, Grandpa tells her that he’s returning to Norway and, because of his old bones, he won’t be able to return to China anymore. He brings up Nian’s fear of flying and both Nian and Shangyan are surprised to hear about this. The Grandpa says Nian’s mom told him that Nian has aviophobia.

Nian denies this as she travels overseas for her school competitions. But as the Grandpa reveals that he’s inviting Nian to visit him in Norway with Shangyan as her escort, both Nian and Shangyan quickly realize the truth about her mom’s lie. The mom is opposed to Nian traveling with Shangyan so she made up the phobia as an excuse.

lol. Nian smooths out the misunderstanding by explaining that her mom is over-protective of her.

The Grandpa laughs. He’s glad to know that Nian has no fear of flying because he also asked her mom whether their wedding should be held in China or Norway.

That shocks Nian, of course, and Shangyan steps in to say marriage hasn’t been discussed. Sensing that his grandpa is going to force the issue, he stands up to escape the luncheon.

Poor guy. He already felt embarrassed having to ask Nian to come over for a visit, and now, he’s humiliated by his grandpa who’s arranging his wedding for him.

Grandpa angrily asks what’s wrong with him: he didn’t like it when he was set up with a blind date. And now that he has a great girl like Nian, he doesn’t want to marry her.

Duh! No grown man wants to be ordered around like he was incapable of making his own decisions. It’s emasculating, to say the least.

But I’m proud that Shangyan controls his temper and merely says that he has a conference call to make. As his Grandpa continues to badmouth him, even when he’s gone, Nian comes to Shangyan’s defense. She explains that Shangyan’s work isn’t in fact child’s play. Shangyan is a respected leader in his field, and his chosen profession in network security is actually a worthwhile endeavor. She then proceeds to recite his retirement speech by heart.

Shangyan, who’s been secretly listening in to their conversation, is surprised and touch.

What I like about this birthday luncheon is that both Nian and the Grandpa come to an agreement about Shangyan. The Grandpa admits being aware of parents’ disapproval of Shangyan, and he acknowledges that his grandson has many flaws. But he tells Nian that Shangyan has many merits, too, and if she’ll just give him time, she’ll see his good side.

Nian reassures him that, in her eyes, everything about him is good.

lol. If she had been my daughter, I’d tell her to get her head checked out because she was clearly out of her mind. But I think I understand where the writer is going with this sort of idealistic love.

For someone like Shangyan who’s used to being criticized, questioned and blacklisted (as he famously declared in his retirement speech) to have somebody who believes in him and loves him unconditionally, like Nian, must be inspiring. She inspires him to be a better man and leave up to her high expectations.

3. Personal information

After his grandpa takes his afternoon nap, Nian and Shangyan agree to meet up again in the backyard. He prepares a mango for her to eat.

SY: I don’t know what you like to eat. Is mango okay?
NN: Sure. Okay, no problem.

He leaps down to her side.

I raised an eyebrow here. He just isn’t the type to jump off a platform like that so my take on his action is that he’s trying to rehab her opinion of him and to look active, “youthful” and spry. He wants her to forget their 10-year difference. 🙂

SY: Aside from my name, Han Shangyan, what else do you know?
NN: Actually I don’t know much. I’ve seen the videos of your public competitions and also of your interviews. Nothing else.

He then begins to list facts about him. He states them as if he’s reading his biodata.

SY: Han Shangyan. Birthday February 14. Born in Norway. At age 18, chose Chinese nationality. I was a professional CTF player for a few years. The rankings and awards I obtained can all be found on the internet. Two years later, I retired. I went to university for a few years, majored in Industrial design. After graduation, I founded the K&K club in Norway. I’m the first investor and I’m also one of the bosses of the club. After establishing K&K club’s section in China, I’ve been permanently residing here.
NN: (quietly) I know all of this. It’s all on the internet.

Sighing, he starts giving her more information again. I like that he doesn’t question Nian’s curiosity.

SY: I’ve an unsociable personality.

But I also like that Nian didn’t gasp and say sarcastically, “I’m shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you, to hear that!”

SY: Even though I know that CTF is a world of coding, it seems only in this world I’m able to find calmness and balance. I don’t like peppers and eggplants. But I like candy. Every time I’m troubled or feel like yelling at someone, I’ll stuff candy in my mouth to stop myself from speaking. I hate the feeling of being restrained and confined. That’s why I don’t like to fight with my grandpa. I’m mad at him that he always wants to decide my future for me. I’m also mad at those people who look at CTF with doubt and mistrust because they don’t know that those kids have a dream. They study hard hoping to create their future with their own two hands.

He pauses. He must be feeling awkward that he’s gone on to reveal his deep-seated resentments with her.

SY: Am I talking too much?
NN: Not at all. I like hearing you talk like this.

SY takes out a candy. Nian is amazed that he’s sharing stuff about him that isn’t found anywhere else. She views it as Shangyan opening up his world to her.

SY: This is sort of an official presentation of myself. Don’t take me for a hero like they say on the internet. I’m not, you know.

See that? He must have felt overwhelmed earlier when he overheard Nian defending him and reciting his retirement speech. He likes that she believes in him. But on the other hand, this admiration for him also imposes a responsibility on him to be as good as she expected. That’s why his “official presentation” highlights his negative sides.

NN: Mmm. So, do you want to yell at someone right now? (he looks questioningly at her) I just saw you eat candy.

He approaches her. He thinks that she’s changing the topic and is being deliberately obtuse. So he continues showing his defects.

SY: What I want to tell you is…that I’m no prince. I’ve a bad temper, have no gentlemanly manner. I don’t like romance. I don’t even have time for dates. My whole life is about K&K, about my team members. Very monotonous. No fun. No trips, no holidays. I detest social events more. I don’t even have days off, festivities, or vacations. (leaning in) So, I’ll give you one more chance. Do you still want to break up?

This is an interesting monologue. We know that he’s sabotaging himself. But why?

On one hand, it seems like he’s warning her off. He doesn’t want her disappointed with him. If he tells her that he’s a poor choice for a boyfriend, then she can’t accuse him later of deception. He’s afraid of being blamed for her unhappiness.

But on another hand, I also think he’s bracing HIMSELF for a disappointment. He wants her to stick by his side, but he’s frightened that if she knows his real self (i.e., his bad side like his grandpa warned her about) then she’ll back out.

To me, he’s ALREADY preparing himself for a rejection. He anticipates that she’s going to refuse being his girlfriend, so he’s giving *himself* an EXCUSE not to feel bad should she reject him.

If she rejects him, his convenient excuse is that it’s all for the best. SHE doesn’t want to cope with his real bad self. He can console himself with the fact that HE has absolutely nothing to do with her disenchantment and her unhappiness because he’s been upfront.

This is his risk management. He’s minimizing the impact of a heartbreak for both of them because he considers himself a bad risk.

SY: Do you or do you not?

She doesn’t respond so he turns around and looks at a green candy wrapper in the light. See? He’s turning his back so when she says that she wants to break up for real, he isn’t going to hear it straight to his face. He probably doesn’t think he can control his emotions.

SY: You haven’t decided how to answer? Or maybe you want to think about it some more.
NN: I don’t. (meaning she doesn’t want to break up)

He stops and turns around. lol. This isn’t the answer that he’s expecting of course.

NN: (approaching him) I said, I don’t want to break up.

SY: (patting her head) Then we won’t.

lol. Patting her head is weird. He should have hugged her. But I guess he’s happy with her answer so he’s patting her head.

SY: For the things I didn’t do well before, please be tolerant with me. (This is his blanket apology for the audition, too.)
NN: (shakes her head) Mmm. (she means that there’s nothing for him to worry about)
SY: Okay, then. Let’s get to know each other first. Is that good?
NN: (smiling) Mmm. Okay.
SY: Actually, I’m not very reliable. I’m always giving my friends trouble. After knowing me, you’ll find there’s nothing to like about me. (lol. Here he goes again, disparaging himself)
NN: (shakes her head again) Mmm.

His conference call interrupts their conversation. He can’t concentrate though on the long-distance call. He notices Nian observing him as he speaks English and he asks her why she’s staring at him.

He gets teased by colleagues on the phone. But instead of being embarrassed, he brags that his girlfriend is beside him and she’s a bit moody so he has to comfort her for a second.

Remember what he said? He said he hated romance and his life is all about K&K. But now, five minutes later, he’s telling his K&K team that he has to attend to his girlfriend because she’s being moody. lol. He actually sounds PLEASED that his girlfriend is demanding his attention (even when she isn’t).

In order not to distract him, Nian goes inside the house. He stands up to check on her.

It’s clear to all of us that he enjoys being Nian’s boyfriend and he doesn’t want her out of her sight.

4. The Anti-Prince Charming Boyfriend

Shangyan gives Nian the spiel about being a bad boyfriend but then he turns around and tries to be a good boyfriend. Sweet, isn’t it?

He says that he doesn’t have time for dates. But he quickly ends his business conference so he can take her home.

He says he detests social events but he borrows money from his cousin Wu Bai to treat Nian out since it’s her birthday.

He says he has no gentlemanly manners but he doesn’t like her to wash the dishes,

and he offers to wrap her scarf around her neck for her. lol!!

He probably sees himself like an old-fashioned gentleman helping a lady with her outerwear:

Or like Gong Yoo aka Dokkaebbi wrapping Euntak up in her red scarf. pwahahaha.

He looks dejected when his offer is rejected.

He’s very observant. He notices that she’s still scratching in the jeep.

He saw her scratching earlier and assumed that she was bitten by a mosquito. She didn’t want to admit that she was allergic to the mango he’d cut up for her so she went along with the mosquito.

She gives him her belated birthday present: a keychain shaped like a machine gun because his online username is “Gun.”

He offers to buy her a gift, too. Nian sneakily fishes for info about his past love life when she asks him if he’s ever bought gifts for a girl. He reminds her that he’s very practical and doesn’t know how to be romantic. His focus has been on his dream to get his team to win the World Champion title in CTF.

Nian then gives the longest speech thus far in their relationship. She tells him that she admires his dream of attaining glory for his country and teammates. But she also understands that the road to achieve greatness can be tiring. If he doesn’t mind it then, she’s offering to be his listener (or his sounding board) during those wearisome moments. He’s touched, of course.

Before he can reply, they arrive at the mall. For her birthday gift, he buys her video games. He thoughtfully labels them with stickers so she can learn them in progressive difficulty.

He says that a turtle sticker indicates an easy video game. Then, a pig looks stupid but is actually smart, so a pig sticker indicates a game with moderate difficulty. A panda is the national treasure so games with a panda sticker mean they’re difficult to play.

She reminds him that she isn’t good at games and he answers that she can always ask him. He’s giving her an excuse to come and visit him anytime. lol. He’s flirting with her!!

He teases her that she’s a pig, meaning she looks helpless but she’s actually very smart.

Then, he sticks a pig sticker on her. lol. I thought he said that he’s a boyfriend who’s “no fun” but it seems like the two of them are having a lot of fun here.

He decries being a gentleman but he carries all their purchases home. Out of the blue, he asks her how she dated before. She stammers that he’s her first love.

Of course, he’s speechless. He clears his throat and walks away.

He’s embarrassed. And I’m sure he’s feeling happy inside, too, but he doesn’t want to show it.

He brings her back to her dorm and they sit awkwardly in the jeep. He seems unready to say goodbye to each other just yet so he thinks a topic of conversation to prolong their date.

He begins telling her his schedule for the next week. He’ll be in Sanya which is about 3 hours away from Shanghai. She wishes him good luck. He continues that he won’t tell her his flight information so she won’t pick him up. He adds that she can call him every night between 9pm and 3am. At any other time, she can call him only if it’s an emergency because he’ll busy with the training.

His detailed instructions had me laughing because he sounded like a fussy boyfriend. But Nian doesn’t mind him rambling on because he’s opening up to her. He’s running out of conversation but he persists.

SY: Study well.
NN: I’m pretty good with studying.
SY: Keep up the good work.
NN: I’ve completed all my courses as a postgraduate student. It’s about time for vacation, so there’s nothing for me to do good work on.
SY: Even if you finish your courses, you need to continue to learn. What’s that old saying? “Learning is like a sea without boundaries.”
NN: Do you need me to finish the quote?
SY: What’s the second half? (pwahahaha!)
NN: “Only through studying hard can one reach their destination.”
SY: Oh…. That… Do we need…need to…need to hug a bit?

Oh I see now.

The reason he asked her if she dated is because he expects HER to guide him and to advise him on what to do. He’s clueless, remember? And he’s a man of action. Although he says he isn’t romantic, deep down inside, he wants to to live up to her romantic ideals. He thinks that she’s expecting a hug because it’s their first date. And if she tells him that she wants a hug, then he’ll gladly do it. 

hahaha. All this time, he’s been nervous because he doesn’t know what she expects of him to do as her boyfriend. 

NN: No…no…It’s okay. This is the front of the school. There’s quite a lot of people.
SY:  I’m not the one who wants to hug, but in dating, this is a necessary process.

What he means is he thought a hug is demanded by the occasion since they’re dating. He’s getting defensive because he didn’t want to be regarded as a pervert here.

NN: I understand.

She sees a sweet potato stand and casually mentions that students love to eat the snack from there. He immediately gets out of the jeep to purchase it for him. But then he walks away instead of returning to the jeep. He’s gone for quite some time, and returns with bags of food for her because he didn’t know which kind she’d like. He finally sends her off laden with gifts.

And she’s happy.

Of course, for Nian, this has been the best birthday ever. And I feel like hugging her, too, in vicarious excitement.