Eventually this site will be known as “nitpick central” of Vagabond. All the other sites seem to have been blinded by the “optics” of Vagabond, and I think we’re the only ones who remain skeptical of the fanfare, and hold both the writer and director to high standards.

I’m giving Episodes 3 and 4 a mixed grade.

I’m giving a grade of A for Lee Seunggi’s stunt scenes and car chase, and for Assassin Lily’s interesting character. She’s a true vixen. She absolutely relished the adrenaline rush of chasing Dalgun down,

that she failed to realize that she already failed her mission the second she crashed into two vehicles.

As @flying_fox pointed out,

As I recall, the instructions to Lilly included something along the lines of “make sure there’s no trace of it being a murder”. I think Assassin Lily’s idea of no trace is something along the lines of … make sure there’s not a giant smoking crater.

lol.

Assassin Lily reminds me of a dog who doesn’t know when to give up trouble.

But as much as I enjoyed the stunt work, I’m giving this week’s episodes a grade of D — D for dumb — for the plotholes, the cloying aegyo moments, and the headscratchers.

I’m going to limit myself and cite only a handful of  scenes.

1. Faulty shades or faulty eyes?

I thought the sunglasses allowed Haeri to observe everything unseen. Remember at the airport, she scolded Dalgun for assuming that she wasn’t paying attention to people? “I am looking at him. That’s what my shades are for. This is why I can’t work with amateurs.”

Well, if she’s such a pro, then how come she didn’t see the man about to grab Dalgun’s neck when she was directly facing the man? Dalgun was able to see the reflection on her sunglasses but she didn’t see the man at all.

Or did she?

2. Shady lawyers

Didn’t anybody question the ethics of J&M and DS’ attorneys representing the victims of Flight AKA B357? Are those two gentlemen the only attorneys in Seoul? Somebody should have objected, and found an independent law firm with qualified aviation accidents lawyers to represent the survivors. Moreover, that J&M attorney shouldn’t have been allowed to sit in the counseling session of the bereaved families.

J&M attorney: Let us handle the case against Dynamic Systems.
Edward Park of Dynamic Systems: Trials might take a year, maybe over 10 years, regardless of the result. And the cost will be enormous.

Edward Park is arguing for a speedy resolution. It’s part of his crisis management. I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him.

J&M lawyer: Don’t worry about the cost. You can pay us when we win.

This contingency fee arrangement isn’t unusual. This wrongful death lawsuit is winnable so the lawyer will take a contingency fee. In real life, it’s always a good idea to discuss a fee estimate. Given how devious the J&M people are, I wouldn’t be surprised if they charge more than double the regular percentage of the award or settlement money. lol.

Edward Park: The pain you’ll face during the trials can be unbearable.
J&M lawyer: That’s right. Trials might take long while settling and getting compensation will be quick. However, what would you do with your guilt for the loved ones who are gone? The pain you might face during the trials wouldn’t be heavier than the guilt. Somebody once told me that the moment of decision reveals the true self. Whether you file a complaint or settle with them, it’s up to you.

Somebody should have objected here. He’s been shady, too. He’s manipulating these family members and playing up their survivor’s guilt.

Two things I find interesting here:

One, both Jessica and her lawyer were former employees/trainees of Edward Park.

And two, Assassin Lily opted not to work for Edward Park. Considering that Assassin Lily is a hired killer, it’s interesting to know that she’s a bitch like us. That is, she has standards to uphold, too. lol.

3. Even shadier president

He’s ambitious. He wants to be known as the president who revitalized their national defense — in the same league as King Sejong the Great, who’s famous of inventing the Korean alphabet.

He said, “My first priority during my term at the Blue House is independent national defense. Jeong Gook-Pyo is definitely King Sejong the Great of national defense above all the other presidents. You know my creed. Honesty and non-possession. Except for completing the long-range plan of our national defense, I’ve no ulterior motive, not even this much. (addressing the Minority Leader) Please work with us.”

I think by “non-possession,” he meant “non-acquisitive.” To me, he didn’t want to be accused of stealing something that didn’t belong to him or gaining material wealth due to his position.

This is an interesting declaration because I was under impression that he’s one of the people BRIBED with kickbacks. But if his chief ambition is to get his name in the history books, then a) he’d take pains to avoid the semblance of accepting bribery from the lobbyists for the F-X contract, and b) somebody ELSE in the Blue House has been benefiting from and enriching himself from Jessica’s “lobbying.”

Can it be the Prime Minister then? Or the President’s secretary? We’ll have to see.

4. Question of the day: Is the writer (or the director) a Suzy’s anti?

I wouldn’t be surprised if the writer was an anti. Why else is he/she depicting a NIS agent to be such a bimbo? He/she’s turning Haeri into a joke.

To name some of the annoying things Haeri’s done in these two episodes, she:

a. squeals in fright every time she gets shot at (ugh! can you imagine Angelina Jolie screaming as Lara Croft or Mrs. Smith).

This!

Not — squeal! — this.

b. says dumb stupid lines like, “You’re a civilian, and I’m a special agent. I’m not going to let you die so don’t worry and just trust—Eeeks! (gets shot)”

and “Do you know how hard I trained for a situation like this? This injury is not—Ouch!! What the–? Eeeks! (gets another shot)”

If I were Dalgun, I would have told her to shut the hell up. Under enemy fire isn’t really the best time to tout her credentials as a NIS agent.

And it gets worse.

She was patched through to the NIS Head Director so she could explain that the plane crash was a terrorist act. You know what she did?

She celebrated this “accomplishment” (I’m being sarcastic here) with a clenched fist. Yahoo! She’s talking to the head boss of her agency!

What the heck?? Is she this shallow?

Girl! More than 200 people died in that plane crash. Is it really appropriate to think of a career promotion or adding a feather in her cap during this crisis?

I don’t blame the actress here. I blame an insensitive writer.

c. eats humble pie. She told Dalgun, “When you snore, I’ll stick this (baguette) up your nose”.

Then, in the next scene, she was snoring.

d. makes a drunken confession to her boss. Ugh!

I don’t care if drinking with your colleagues is part of Korean culture. In real life, a drunk agent who tells her superior “You are mine!” in aegyo style is not funny at all. And it’s a sure-fire way to get dismissed.

As I said before: Loose lips sink ships. Anytime an agent engages in careless talk, i.e., when intoxicated, when high on drugs, when talking to a lover, when flirting, etc., she can jeopardize the mission and endanger lives of people.

Seriously, kdrama writers should stop writing this crap. This random aegyo confession while drunk is as demeaning to the actors and unnecessary to the script as LSG’s random shower scene to brood.

To me, it’s a sign that the writing is good, when actors don’t have to resort to these cheap stunts to boost the ratings.

The message of the serial killer in the other kdrama I’m watching right now, “When the Camellia Blooms,” would be very appropriate for Haeri: Don’t be a joke.

Ugh! Where is Elsa??!! I want more of Elsa, please, and less of this Go Haeri.

5. How dumb is this blackmail?

Minister: Do you think I’ll surrender to your dirty threat?
Jessica: Do you think it’s a threat? But I haven’t asked you anything yet.
Minister: You picked the wrong fight. You can’t take over the F-X Plan. (standing up to leave)
Jessica: One (officer) for corruption. One for bribery. One for sexual harassment. You didn’t know that, did you? The top of the stream is clean, yet the bottom is filthy. The moment you choose Dynamic Systems, what happened here and your men’s wrongdoings will be released. The public is already all worked up after the plane crash. How will you deal with the criticism?

STOP! At this point in the game, the Minister should have called her bluff. If she releases the incriminating evidence on the officers, then he too can inform the press that he and his men have been blackmailed by Jessica to award the contract to J&M. Two can play this game.

But Minister sits back down and takes a gulp of his scotch.

Jessica: (pouting and sighing) I feel bad. It’s not my intention to pick a fight with you.

Eeewwww. A grown-ass woman doing aegyo? Barf.

Jessica: I know a lot of dirty secrets about the US Department of Defense.

At this point, the Minister stops and looks at her. Bingo! She got to him. That’s his primary weakness. He likes to know “secrets.”

Jessica: (continuing) I also have some information that the Blue House might like. (the Minister sighs) In other words, I have a ton of gifts I can offer you.
Minister: Are you offering a deal?
Jessica: A deal built on trust is easily broken, but a deal built on weakness is hard to get rid of.

Meaning, they can drag each other down.

Minister: I don’t know any of your weaknesses. (drinks)
Jessica: If so, let’s make one. I think you could become a great weakness for me.

And they kiss. In a way, the Minister is also selling his body for the secrets on US defense that Jessica was offering to him.

It was in Episode 4, when the Prime Minister showed his boss, the President, a photograph of Jessica and the Minister kissing, that I realized how messed up the writing was.

One, if Jessica could bribe, extort, and coerce people and even prostitute herself to win the F-X contract, then why didn’t she do so from the beginning? Why did she order a planeload of people killed? Does that make sense?

I hope there’s another dark force pulling the strings. Jessica is too obvious.

Two, the picture of Jessica and the Minister kissing is damaging for BOTH of them. Should the public find out that she whored herself to get the contract, then her company is out of contention, too. And Dynamic Systems, and Edward Park, wins.

Or maybe the third company who’s also bidding….

Three, the plot is a circular firing squad. lol.

If only they start shooting, then the bad guys can self-destruct!

6. Who’s who?

We have to keep tabs of the unknowns.

a. Who’s the Shadow?

b. Who’s Samael?

c. And who’s the Monitor Man? He watched the monitor as Dalgun and Haeri passed through the Morrocan airport,

and as Raymon was dragged in the dungeon.

The Monitor Man wears a Western suit with a white shirt. And he smokes a cigar.

This detail is significant because the man who was waiting in the car in Lisbon while the female assassin killed Michael was also wearing a suit with a white shirt and smoking a cigar. Remember that scene?

Here’s Raymon’s conversation with the Arab terrorist.

Raymon: I’m not a traitor. I was trying to find the co-pilot and take matters into my own hands. If it wasn’t for Cha Dalgun, I could have taken him out.

Who’s “him”? The co-pilot? Or do we have another instance of confusion in pronouns? Didn’t Raymon try to take out Haeri but was interrupted because of Dalgun? The Monitor Man was looking at the pictures of Dalgun, some of them with Haeri. There’s no sign of the co-pilot resurfacing after the crash.

Arab officer: Samael will take care of Cha Dalgun and the co-pilot.
Raymon: No. Let me do it. This time, there’ll be no mistakes.

Unfortunately for him, the Monitor Man allows no second chances and Raymon is executed. I doubt that we’ve seen the last of the Monitor Man.

Didn’t I say earlier that my money is on Edward Park and his assistant, Micky?

7. Finally, other small details

Nice try, Dalgun, but you’re too far from your target.

See. The SNIPER needs a scope to aim at you and Haeri, and he has a rifle.

And whose hand turned on the microwave?

Normally, I’d give one or two editing mistakes a pass because I don’t like to engage in a “Gotcha!” game with the director and writer. But with all the buzz surrounding this kdrama, I think a scrutiny is necessary to see if it actually lives up to the hype.

So far, the scoreboard is Hype: 1 and Reality: 4.

Gotta watch “Tale of Nokdu” and “Flower Crew” now.