I feel like this is an easy episode to write (unlike the previous episode!) so let me see if I can limit myself to four highlights so I can move on to the next episode.

Chapter 16. Feelings. Waiting for your date
Feature Object: Balloons

I don’t where the balloons came from. I thought it was for his birthday in the next episode. But oh well.

source: ahsung’s tumblr

1. Sexting lite, lol

I like this scene because it showed Sang Zhi interacting with him as Weiwei had told her to. Remember her conversation with Weiwei after her New Year’s trip back from Nanwu? Weiwei told her to stop worrying about the fact that he was older than her. She gave her two tips. The first was to interact naturally.” Her second tip was “if he doesn’t make a move, then you don’t make a move. But if he does, you strike first.” Sang Zhi didn’t quite get her second tip until this moment. Weiwei simply meant that she should capitalize on any opening that he made.

Duan Jiaxu accidentally took a picture of himself with his shirt unbuttoned while testing Sang Zhi’s new camera. She took it for granted that he sent it deliberately to tease her.

DJ: Do you like the gift?
SZ: He has really thick skin. He took such a picture and even asked if I like it.

Meaning, he was really cocky and shameless. Hmmm? Is there a Chinese pun involving skin? Because he was showing his chest in the picture.

Then, she snapped a picture of his “gift” and sent it to him.

DJ: (thinking to himself) Why is this picture there?
SZ: (mischievously) It’s not clear at all. This gift is a defect.

This is Sang Zhi “striking first.” Instead of being shy, she teased him that she didn’t like it because his photo was blurred. If he was going to send a selfie of his chest, she would like a sharper image with more “exposure.” Of course, she didn’t know that he never intended to send that photo.

Jiaxu had a naughty comeback.

DJ: If you agree to let me pursue you, I’ll send you an HD version immediately.
SZ: You wish!
DJ: I had wanted to use this to speed up the courting process. I didn’t expect you to reject me right off the bat. I can only resort to this to win a chance for myself.

Meaning, he was hoping to entice her with this picture. He thought she would find his body irresistible.

SZ: You crafty old thing. (erasing “old thing” and replacing it) Old man.
DJ: I have to be one step ahead to deal with a young fox like you.

And with that, she knew that she couldn’t win against him. She retreated.

SZ: I’m going to sleep now. Good night.

But before she went to bed, she edited the contact details on her phone for Jiaxu, from “Brother #2” to “Suitor.”

She also took a picture of the fox charm.

We can see the evolution of the symbolism of the fox in this drama. Back in middle school, Sang Zhi had drawn her teacher like a fox in her notebook. That’s because her teacher was crafty and evil like a fox. In her mind, his teacher picked on her unfairly, and derived satisfaction from catching her inattentive at class. But without that foxy teacher of hers, she wouldn’t have bonded with Jiaxu.

Jiaxu must have also seen her similarity to a fox. Though she wasn’t evil, he knew that she could be very sneaky and manipulative. She had her older brother and mother wrapped around her little finger. That fox stuffed toy must have reminded him of her, and their adventure with her teacher, so he kept it. He was waiting for the day to meet her again so he could give it to her. He wanted her to have it. In his essay for her, he came to its defense, saying it wasn’t ugly at all.

Next, when Sang Zhi was drunk and Jiaxu carried her on his back, she called him a fox or a manly “huli jing.” In Chinese folklore, a fox would transform into a handsome man (or beautiful woman) to lure the opposite sex. To Sang Zhi, Jiaxu was like a “huli jing” who was nice not only to her, but to all the women he met. He used his charms to attract them.

Jiaxu knew that he had to correct this wrong impression of him so he asked his female boss to put in a good word for him with Sang Zhi. He wanted her to tell Sang Zhi that he wasn’t a ladies’ man, and that he had never had a girlfriend. He wasn’t a manly “huli jing.”

Jiaxu’s perception of Sang Zhi as a fox was also altered when she grew up. Seeing her as an adult, he didn’t mean the term in the “sneaky and manipulative” sense. Instead, he meant that she had become alluring to him.

Take for instance when he flirted with the strawberry with her. As I said, he bought her a clamshell of strawberries because he witnessed her disappointment when she couldn’t have the last piece of strawberry. He couldn’t help teasing her, however. He asked her to feed him then pretended to be shocked by her intimate gesture. He implied that she was a foxy lady. He begged her, “Don’t take advantage of me.”

To me, there are several interpretations of the fox bracelet. At first, she was over-the-moon when she read that the bracelet was meant to be given between lovers. But her excitement quickly turned into dismay when she learned that the bracelet only meant a platonic “forever caring” when the giver was an elder, or a Gege like Jiaxu. (She didn’t think that the Jiaxu wouldn’t have added a fox charm to the bracelet if it weren’t significant to them.)

She was now only appreciating what the fox meant after her flirtatious banter with Jiaxu. Just as Weiwei said, it was all a matter of changing her mindset. She must stop worrying about their age difference and act naturally with Jiaxu. She’d experienced the butterflies and the awkwardness of being around him. It was her turn to “strike first” and be a foxy lady.

Note: while the meaning of the fox has changed over time, I think that the one thing that will remain constant is devotion.

2. Her feelings. Waiting for him to go on a date with her

Friend: Have you decided when you will accept him?
SZ: Do I need to think about it?
Friend: Of course. Since he wants to pursue you, you need to decide for how long.
SZ: How long should it be then?

She was asking for a timeline. Should she make him wait for a couple of weeks or a few months. She didn’t need a waiting period because she had known him for a long time, and she wouldn’t change how she felt about him anyway after the waiting period.

Friend: That depends. I accepted Chen Qiang not long after he started pursuing me.

Snicker. Yeahhh. She didn’t strike me as the type to wait. I’m surprised that she wasn’t the one to chase after him.

Friend: But it’s up to you. The right time for you is the best time.

She could accept him anytime. It was a just matter of how long she could delay expressing her feelings for him and hold them in.

SZ: (smiling) Then I think right now is perfect.
Friend: (approving) You’re something else. But listen, Sangsang. You have to protect yourself. Do you understand?
SZ: Weiwei. I’m actually a little worried.
Friend: Worried about what?
SZ: I’m afraid that he’s doing it on a whim. What if he loses interest after a while?

My comments: 

She was actually worried about three things.

a. She was afraid that he wasn’t serious about courting her. In the past, he liked to tease her to get a reaction from her. So, it was possible that he was doing it again, that is, he was courting her to tease her.

b. However, if he was just doing this on a whim, then she was afraid that he would change his mind if she didn’t answer him right away. If he changed his mind, then she would have missed the opportunity to be with him. Perhaps then she should seize the moment before he had a chance to cool down.

c. She also felt pressured to accept him right away in case he took her indecision — or appearance of it – as a sign of her lack of attraction for him. During his confession (or his “trial balloon” as politicians would like to call it), she worried that she would appear to be pushing him away when actually all she wanted was more time to see if he really meant what he said.

All these worries were jumbled up inside of her. It was a good thing that she had a friend to give her support.

Friend: I don’t think that’s very likely. You two have known each other for years. Since he has decided to pursue you, that means he must be determined. What do you think?

I think this was the most reasonable advice Weiwei gave to her. Why would he jeopardize their friendship, and his long-standing relationship with his brother, by courting her purely on a whim?

SZ: You have a point.
Friend: It’s okay. If you’re worried about that, you can test him. I’m going to sleep now.
SZ: (to herself) Don’t give in yet.

So, if you ask me what the title “Feelings” referred to, then one answer is Sang Zhi’s feelings regarding this self-imposed waiting period. Of course, she was excited, but she was also worried that she might be taking on the “wrong” approach. In the end, she followed Weiwei’s advice to protect herself and to avoid rushing headlong into a relationship. As I said in the previous episode, Weiwei had this belief that when a man didn’t show effort or go through hardship to win the lady’s affection, then he wasn’t likely to appreciate her or cherish her gift of love. In English idiom, easy come, easy go.

3. His feelings. Waiting for the right time to date her

I think this is one problem of a successful event like her birthday/Confession D-Day. He made such a big production of it (as he should!) that a high bar of expectation was made for his subsequent dates and repeat performances. He couldn’t have a simple, quick, drive-through date. He must take her out for a meal then spend hours with her after that.

But his biggest handicap is his inexperience at dating. He didn’t know how to read between the lines.

DJ: (texting SZ) Are you free tomorrow?
SZ: (wanting to reply yes, but Weiwei texted for her) I’m not free.
DJ: (frowning) What about the day after tomorrow?
SZ: (with Weiwei’s approval) I might not be free either.

His face, lol. I don’t blame him, though. Vague, wishy-washy and noncommittal answers like that used to drive me nuts, too.

So, he consulted his coworkers.

DJ: If you asked somebody out, and she replied that she might not be free, is she free or not?
Coworker: “Might not be free” means it depends on your performance.
DJ: (asking again) Does that mean she’s free?
Coworker: Look at me, Jiaxu. (then he rolls his eyes)

To me, the coworker meant one of two things.

One, he was nonverbally telling Jiaxu, “I can’t believe you’re such an idiot that you need a coach like me to explain this to you.” Two, he was demonstrating Sang Zhi’s exasperation with Jiaxu because he was slow on the uptake. The coworker probably could sense that the girl wanted a more dynamic invitation with a specific activity in mind.

Like this, “Hey Sang Zhi, I got tickets for the popular XYZ concert. Please come with me?”

Meanwhile, on her end, Sang Zhi wanted to call him up because she worried that he would think she was saying “no.” She didn’t want a repeat of his invitation to dinner after her exams. She lied and said she was busy, and he didn’t follow up with another invite.

DJ: (texting again) How about Thursday night?
SZ: I’m free.
DJ: (ecstatic)

Unfortunately, he had to cancel three dates in a row at the last minute because of work. On the fourth time he cried off, he didn’t explain that he received an urgent call from his father’s nursing home. Frustrated with him, Sang Zhi didn’t bother to ask him for an explanation.

I guess she was also too hungry to care. But after her dinner with her roommates, she reached out to him. I’m glad she did that. I can’t stand passive girls.

SZ: What are you doing?
DJ: I just got home.

Though he looked dead-beat, something made him call on Sang Zhi. I call it initiative.

SZ: (answering on the first ring) Hello, Jiaxu Ge. What is it?
DJ: What are you doing?
SZ: I’m at my dorm.
DJ: I’ll go and see you.
SZ: Um…right now?
DJ: It’s 8:30 pm. There’s three and a half hours left until your curfew.

I call this determination. He was determined to see her and wouldn’t take no for an answer. It’s a good thing that Sang Zhi liked him anyway. If an unwanted suitor did this, it would be considered pestering.

SZ: Hmmm…Okay now.
Friends: (start prepping her)
DJ: I’ll take you out for supper. What do you want to have?
SZ: I’m fine with anything. I’m not hungry.

My comments:

a. She’d better not be hungry. She just came back from dinner with her dormmates.

b. See that? This dialogue displayed what his coworker meant by “’Might not be free’ is dependent on his performance.” If Jiaxu had been content to take no for an answer, then she wouldn’t be free. She would find excuses to be busy. However, if Jiaxu insisted on seeing her, then she would have no choice but to yield to his demand.

c. For Sang Zhi, this is what “pursuing” or “courtship” entailed. He had to exert effort, initiative, and determination to woo her.

d. Lastly, this proved that Jiaxu could pass Weiwei’s test under normal circumstances. She and Sang Zhi wanted to test Duan Jiaxu’s feelings for Sang Zhi by making him jump through hoops. Weiwei simply put minor obstacles in his way to see how Jiaxu would react. She and Sang Zhi both wanted Jiaxu to prove that he really wanted to be with Sang Zhi.

Note: personally, I hate this strategy. No means no.

e. The nice thing about Jiaxu is he was a quick study. He learns from his mistakes easily. He didn’t think that she would mind it if he cancelled their date because he had the impression that she was busy with her studies. Remember, she told him that as a freshman student in college, she had signed up for a lot of activities. He didn’t realize until she told him that she waited for him.

DJ: What have you been busy with lately?

See that? He assumed that she didn’t mind him cancelling their dates because she was too busy anyway with schoolwork.

SZ: Plenty of things. I have lectures to attend, assignments to finish, also a drawing exhibition, my school club…and wait for someone to ask me out…
DJ: (realizing what she just said)
SZ: (pretending like she wasn’t being “petty” when she raised her complaint)

DJ: Uh. Lately…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to keep cancelling. I’ve just been deluged with two miscellaneous things lately.
SZ: Miscellaneous things?
DJ: They’re just trivial matters. They’re not important.
SZ: (still pressing) If that’s the case, then why didn’t you ask me out?

My comments:

a. Sang Zhi studied his face, and she could see that he was tired. I like that she knew that something was upsetting him although he seemed to loathe sharing his family problems with her.

b. This is my second interpretation of the “Feelings.” Though Jiaxu could open up about his feelings for Sang Zhi, he was still hiding his feelings on other things from her. He couldn’t share with her his worries, guilt, unhappiness, and stress about his father’s situation. These feelings were important to share, too.

c. Sang Zhi had a valid point. If they were trivial matters as he said they were, then he could have fixed them easily and gone out on dates with her.

DJ: I had no idea that you wanted me to ask you out so badly. (observing her facial expression closely) Are you upset?

No, I don’t think he was switching topics on her. He really didn’t expect her to be disappointed that he canceled out on their dates.

SZ: No. I feel that you’re unhappy. Are you burned out at work?
DJ: (surprised) No. How can that be?

I think Sang Zhi sensed that he was telling the truth. Work problems weren’t the cause of his unhappiness. I understand though why he didn’t want to burden her with his family problems.

DJ: (changing topic) I’m finally having a meal with you. I’m over the moon.
SZ: (skeptical)
DJ: Really!
SZ: If so, give me a smile.
DJ: (forced smile)

He laughed more naturally after Sang Zhi started laughing at him.

SZ: (seeing the cotton candy cart behind him) Wait here.
DJ: Where are you going?
SZ: Wait here.

My comments:

a. She knew that he was trying to put on a happy face for her.

b. She thought making cotton candy for him would make him happy. To me, this reminded me of the time when Sang Zhi offered him a lollipop after confronting her bullies. She even gave him money to spend on candy.

c. It dawned on Jiaxu that Sang Zhi was trying to cheer him up in the special way she could. She was curious to know why he looked unhappy but understood that she couldn’t get any more answers from him. Instead of further prying, she simply decided to brighten his spirits with candy.

d. Of course, it wasn’t the thought of candy that cheered him up, nor the pretty sight that Sang Zhi made as she stood making the cotton candy. It was the realization that he had somebody who cared that he was feeling blue.

e. There you have my twofold explanation of the subject “feelings.” His and hers, remember?

He joined Sang Zhi at the cotton candy stand. He noticed that she was wearing his bracelet and that pleased him.

DJ: (teasing) Do you want cotton candy?
SZ: (looking up at him with a wry face)

She gave him cotton candy.

SZ: This is for you.
DJ: For me? It’s as if you’re cheering a child up.
SZ: Yes, an old child.

I like that joke. She wasn’t going to let him forget any time that he’s older than her. But even if he was older than her, he could still be a child in her eyes, a child that needed to be indulged and spoiled.

SZ: When I was unhappy in the past, eating sweets would cheer me up. Do you want to try it?

Yes, Sang Yan used to give her candy to cheer her up. Unfortunately for Jiaxu, he didn’t have siblings to spoil him.

DJ: I’ll try it. (taking a bite)
SZ: (giggling) Is it sweet?

It would have been sweeter if she had offered him a bite from her own hand…just like the strawberry.

DJ: It’s very sweet. Thank you.

source: radishayuan’s tumblr

Lol. The way she asked the question, I wondered if she had a double meaning.

DJ: (sighing) It’s my first time being comforted like this. Do you want to try it?
SZ: (biting)
DJ: Is it sweet?
SZ: Sweet.

Uhmmmm. Is water wet? What’s with this back-and-forth questioning about the sweetness of cotton candy? It’s made of air and sugar. Of course, it’s sweet!

DJ: You’re pretty good at making cotton candy. Have you made it for someone else before?
SZ: No.

To me, he was only pretending to be jealous.

DJ: So I’m the first person to try the cotton candy you made.
SZ: Yes.

He was sneaky here. He wanted to get her to admit that she liked him. Remember on her birthday, he begged her to tell him if she liked him like he liked her? But she flatly said no.

DJ: (nodding his head) I understand what you mean now.
SZ: What do you mean?
DJ: (smiling) I understand.
SZ: What do you understand?
DJ: Haven’t you agreed to be my girlfriend?
SZ: When did I agree to that?

To me, he was teasing her about the candy cotton to segue into the bracelet she was wearing. What he really wanted to bring up with her was the bracelet.

DJ: Why would somebody make cotton candy for an ordinary friend?
SZ: (scoffing) Ordinary?
DJ: That’s not all. You’re wearing the bracelet. Hmmm?

To him, wearing his bracelet was an incontrovertible proof that she returned his feelings. But Sang Zhi insisted that he courted her first before she gave him an answer.

SZ: Jiaxu Ge. Stop being devious. You won’t win me over like this.
DJ: Then how can I win you over?
SZ: You can search online or ask other people. Ask other people how to pursue a girl.
DJ: (asking her) How do I pursue a girl?
SZ: Must you ask me?
DJ: Can you teach me?
SZ: Anyway, listen up. At this rate, if we’re only texting, occasionally calling, and meeting up once in a long while, it definitely won’t work. It’s not online dating. (muttering) Online dating at your age!

I like that she was letting him know that she wouldn’t be satisfied with a contact-less relationship. She was laying down the ground rules for him.

DJ: Speaking of online dating, I suddenly recall something. A certain kiddo had–
SZ: Okay, that’s enough. That’s enough. Good job. Don’t bring it up again.

He obviously had no clue that he was that mysterious guy.

DJ: I was just joking with you. I’m serious. Today, I’ve realized my mistakes. From today on, I will be serious and work hard to pursue you.
SZ: (not saying anything)
DJ: I’m serious.
SZ: Great. I will look forward to your performance.

She said what Jiaxu’s coworker said. His “performance” aka efforts, initiative, and determination would determine whether she went out with him or not.

DJ: (smiling) Are you free tomorrow?
SZ: (pouting) Hmmm…tomorrow morning? Not in the morning. I need to be at school.
DJ: (skeptical) Do you have classes on the weekend?
SZ: It’s not a class. An alumnus is giving a sharing seminar.
DJ: Ahhh…
SZ: But…

DJ: I see.
SZ: …My afternoon…

Lol. She wanted to let him know that while she couldn’t meet him in the morning, she could definitely meet up with him in the afternoon. But since they were talking at the same time, Jiaxu didn’t hear her.

DJ: I’ll just work overtime tomorrow then.

Lol. By “work,” he didn’t mean his computer or IT work. He meant his courtship of her. He was going to pursue her harder, as if he was working overtime on a Saturday, to get to see her.

DJ: (giving himself a pep talk) It’s fine. I will keep at it.
SZ: (exasperated) I said “but” very loudly. Don’t tell me that he didn’t hear me.

He walked away, leaving Sang Zhi very frustrated. He didn’t hear her suggestion that they could meet in the afternoon.

What she didn’t know, however, was he was already strategizing how to jump through the hoops at her school in order to meet her the following morning.

4. The (Air) Kiss

He was teasing her! Because she had her eyes closed, he was able to fake a kiss. He made a kissing sound as he poked her cheek with his finger.

credit: lemonsourcrisis’ tumblr

Sang Zhi assumed that his finger was his lips and that he’d stolen a kiss from her. Mission accomplished, Jiaxu! 

@agdr03, did you include this in the “Kiss List”?

credit: radishayuan’s tumblr

This “fake” kiss made for a great ending to this episode that started with Sang Zhi’s mistaken assumption that he sent her that picture with his unbuttoned shirt.

Look at this way. If she was always going to assume that he was a wily old fox out to seduce her, then he might as well go ahead and do something shocking and befitting of an wily old fox.