On Asking For Favors

It’s apparent to all of us that this episode was about asking for favors.

From the start, we sensed that WooHyun (WH) would eventually eat his words that he had no need to ask for favors from YooJung (YJ). If there were a kdrama goddess somewhere, she would ensure WH’s transformation into a damsel knight-in-distress in want of YJ’s service by the end of this episode. His words were exactly the kind of blunder that would come back to bite him in the ass.

However, I think it would be myopic of us viewers to simply focus on the comeuppance of WH. As a doctor, he was often very generous with his offer to help others, like that young student who aspired to be an actor and YJ herself. So I find it curious that, as a human being, he would reject the idea that someday he too could need a generous offer of help from another person like YJ. Was he that confident of himself? 🤔

So, why on earth did he say that then? lol.

Let’s review their conversation from the beginning.

YJ: Strangely, before I can pay back the favors I owe you, I keep asking you for more.
WH: So let’s not ask anymore, since it’s a burden to both of us.
YJ: I’m sorry. I’ll pay them all back, someday, somehow. Could I ask you for one more big favor before I stop?

>Ordinarily, I would be annoyed when a character who’d been warned already to stop asking, would persist on asking. Like beauty, tenacity (and obstinacy, lol) is in the eye of the beholder. But YJ did the right thing here. By FIRST acknowledging that she was already in his debt and then letting him know that she considered her request as a form of GIVE-AND-TAKE, she avoided making WH feel like he was being taken for a ride.

WH: Are you talking about the offer from your agency CEO?
YJ: Yes. I clearly saw how low he (JaeMin, the ex) could stoop. I don’t want to break down because of him. Cha WooHyun, let’s date for just three months.

>I like how she was being transparent here. She clearly stated her motive for asking the favor. She didn’t want to break down in front her despicable ex-BF. We saw in Episode 4 that she wasn’t kidding. She was in fact still in a fragile emotional state despite appearing even-keeled in front of him. It was too soon for her to have gotten over the betrayal of her ex.

WH: What? (he was shocked.) Yoon YooJung. (he calls her name firmly)
YJ: I want to take revenge on him. Let’s date for just three months, please. (she’s sounding desperate.)
WH: Can you take revenge using a fake relationship? (an appeal to sanity)
YJ: No. (she admits but…) The life that I’ve built as an actress until now, I’m going to block him from crumbling it.

>It would be totally understandable if she wanted to retaliate because she was hurt. However, the reason she must stay strong should be because her career as an actress and the livelihood of the people in her company were on the line here. The scandal with her ex threatened to undo her hard-earned success.

WH: What do I gain from this? (this is a fair question)
YJ: I’ll have to think about it. (but this, too, is an honest answer)
WH: Find someone else. I don’t want anything, and my thoughts on this won’t ever change no matter what conditions you offer me.

>This is indicative of his current mindset. He was used to thinking of himself as self-contained like an island. He was proud that he’d lived without depending on others. In fact, later in this episode, he would remind his stepmother that he’d grown up without a father and he lived well without one, so she didn’t have to worry that he would covet anything that belonged to his father. But for now, he was telling YJ that he had nothing that he could possibly want from her. She quickly pointed out that nothing was absolute.

YJ: Nothing in this world is absolute. You never know what happens with people. Maybe one day you’ll ask me for a favor.

>This is important: not only was she reminding him that life was full of surprises, but she was also implying that their relationship was a two-way street. She could be relied on to help him out when he needed. Still, he turned her down.

WH: There’ll never be anything that I’ll ask you a favor for.
YJ: Don’t just close the door on it like that, and please reconsider once more.
WH: No matter how many times I think about it, my thoughts on the matter will never change. Don’t put your hopes in me.

>She sighed. She accepted his decision.

YJ: You’ve never experienced anything like that, have you? People whose names or faces I don’t even know, don’t know anything about the truth, and curse me without a thought and make me out to be a bad person.

>Hmmm…the double meaning of this segment of their dialogue was unmistakable. 😈 While the character YooJung was speaking of the hard life of actors in general, the real actress Yoon EunHye could have been reproaching her detractors during the plagiarism scandal. She survived a witch hunt during that time.

WH: People wouldn’t know what it’s like to be the subject of a witch hunt unless they’ve experienced how awful it is before.

>To me, it was important that YooJung allowed him to decline her request. Had she kept on demanding, she would have appeared as coercive as his mom, father and Wannabe Wife.

Moreover, since he declined to do her a favor matter-of-factly, she wasn’t offended. She didn’t sense any awkwardness in seeking again for his help when she had the swing accident. She felt comfortable going back to him because they had parted without misunderstanding each other.

However, even when he was giving her medical attention, it was easy to tell that WooHyun was sticking to his “island.”  Sure, he generously attended to her after-hours and he certainly felt pity when she started crying over her lost mother. But he would not open his “island” to any emotional entanglement with her.

That was why he drew the curtains when she started crying. The curtain was a metaphorical divider or wall to keep her away from him.

This whole hospital scene was quite telling. He had her curtained off when she was crying but once she slept, he drew back the curtains. Then, he sat by her side to watch her sleep till morning. What the heck?? Why couldn’t he make up his mind??

Who was the curtain for? Was he shutting her out or was he keeping himself in? 😆

That being said, I found it interesting that after his confrontation with his mother, he went back to the hospital and immediately looked for her. He searched for her in all the rooms and he looked disappointed that she had left without waiting for him to return and without saying goodbye.

When he was told that she had left him a note, he didn’t even fake indifference or nonchalance to his colleagues. He went to look for the note right away.

lol. I really like how YJ is fond of writing him letters. She wrote, “As you said, I am only used to getting praised and loved. So I think I don’t have the ability to overcome being rejected and unfavored. Thank you for helping me and trusting me. I’m leaving once again after piling up a whole lot of mileage in favors. Will the chance to redeem that mileage ever come?” Again, she was reminding him of her debt that he could redeem anytime.

The notecard said, “Be Happy. Don’t Worry.” She had chosen it to reassure him NOT to worry about her crying jag the night before. But little did she know that she was also giving him comfort after his altercation with his mother. He had been furious to learn of another one of his mother’s failed romances. But JY’s short letter certainly left him smiling. Be happy, don’t worry….

And now, let’s have a quick long look at his relationship with his mother.

First, it was easy to see why he unhesitatingly protected YJ from her ex on the phone. He must have developed the habit of protecting of his mom too from her previous husbands or boyfriends.

Second, his complicated relationship with his mother could shed light on why he would insist on keeping YJ out of his life. This was his dialogue with his mother when he temporarily left YJ’s bedside and went home.

WH: What are all these? (eyeing her luggage)
Mom: We broke up. I ended things.
WH: Mom. Just a few days ago, you guys couldn’t live without each other but all of a sudden (you’ve called it quits)? What did you fight about?
Mom: We just had something between us. But why did you stay out overnight? You’ve got a girlfriend? (trying to change topic)
WH: Well, I had to treat an urgent patient, so it just happened. Mom, try and explain, please. Did he cheat on you? Is he violent?
Mom: Nope.
WH: Then, did he get in big money trouble? Does he gamble?
Mom: None of that. Just something between us as a married couple.
WH: So what do you plan to do?
Mom: I’m going to divorce.

>Lol. He suddenly became aggravated. 🤯 He had remained calm while he was questioning her whether her husband was abusive but the second he found out about her decision to divorce, he lost his cool.

Mom: (continuing) We didn’t actually register our marriage yet so it’s easy. I just need to get my things and leave.
WH: It’s easy? I guess you get used to it and get more skilled at divorces once you’ve done it a lot? You don’t feel embarrassed, showing your son that you’ve been divorced four times? (he was hiding that he was mad and disgusted)
Mom: I’m sorry towards you and ashamed. But what can I do? I have to do what I have to do. Where should I put my stuff?

>Phew! 😒 I’m glad that YJ was vastly different from the mom. He was upset with his mother because she was fickle and she discarded her marriages like used tissues. YJ already proved that she was anything but fickle. She was so upset with her breakup that she drank herself silly and went to his apartment to beg her ex to take her back.

WH: No need to unpack if you’re just protesting against him after a little fight. Show me the way. I will bring you there and give him some heated words.

>And this is what he did with YH’s ex. He gave him some “heated words.” He must be accustomed to defending his mother from cheaters.

Mom: I really ended things before coming here. He was two-timing me. He had another woman. (I kinda doubt this. lol.)
WH: How can you tell me to date and marry when this is the life you show me?
Mom: You are you, and I’m me. I was born unlucky. But you just need to NOT live like me.
WH: This is what I see and experience, so how can I date and marry in a normal way?

Third, I think this outburst is critical to understanding his mindset. To me, it implied that he was wary of forming relationships because

a) he feared that the woman (not HIM) would be capricious and unfaithful — just like his mother. And

b) he didn’t want to repeat his mother’s mistake of falling in and out of love with the wrong man each time.

To me, this would explain why he pulled the curtain in the hospital.

It wasn’t done out of callousness for her feelings. He gave her that private moment. To me, he didn’t want her to become emotionally vulnerable to him and to transfer an unwanted attachment onto him simply because he was an available shoulder-to-cry-on during that particular moment when she was feeling weak.

Fourth and final, given his experience with his mother’s multiple divorces, it would be imperative for him to be able to trust in YooJung’s sincerity and constancy before he committed himself.

However, by the time they met accidentally at the hotel, it was evident that he’d already made up his mind that YJ was nothing at all like his mother and the girl talked about in the media and rumor mills.

lol. I like how they were both genuinely happy to meet each other. Their faces positively lit up when they saw the other person approaching.

When she told him that she was there to announce the identity of her boyfriend, it didn’t cross his mind that she was scheming to make him jealous or to get him back or to make him jealous. 😇 She was just sharing info with him.

YJ: You’re here. (grinning at her)
WH: Yes.
YJ: (wondering) Could he have changed his mind? What do I do then?
WH: I’m here for a dinner with my mother.
YJ: (disappointed) He’s not here because he changed his mind.

>WH was waiting for a response from her so she explained.

YJ: I have a press conference for a movie at the grand hall.
WH: (nodding) I see.
YJ: At that meeting, I’m going to announce my boyfriend.
WH: Who would be the one?
YJ: His name is Seong Hoon, an old friend.
WH: (nodding again) I see.

>He understood that this Seong Hoon was HIS replacement or stand-in;  YJ wasn’t dating him. YJ was reminded that they were going to be late.

YJ: I have to go.
WH: I’m sorry I couldn’t come through.
YJ: (flustered) No, not at all.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come through.”

And just like that, his apology reminded us of the beginning of this episode when he turned her down. 😂 All of us wanted the story to come full circle. Since he declined YJ’s request first, it was just poetic justice that he’d come to realize — at the very last minute — that he’d been too hasty to spurn her offer back then.

However, I thought this was the most appropriate time for him to ask for help.

You see, I’ve come to realize that the reason he wondered whether there would ever come a time when he would need to ask her favor was because he had never depended on anybody before.

All these years, he had put so much premium on his self-reliance, on doing things on his own, on being his own man, on thriving without help. Thus, he couldn’t imagine himself asking for a favor from her. He wasn’t being arrogant. In fact, to me, he sounded quite pitiful. His family circumstances demanded that he became independent.

However, he didn’t realize that the appearance of YooJung in his life was slowly changing him. She was hardwired for reciprocity and he had been adapting to her. Remember that morning after she was drunk at his place in Episode 2? She suddenly started sweeping the floor and he later on started to cook breakfast. None of them said a word to each other yet they got to work. Each one did his and her task.

Even when it was embarrassing for her to seek help or when she had nothing beneficial to offer in return, she would sum up her courage to ask for a favor. But during all those times she reached out to him because she needed him, she was also giving him explicit permission to do the same with her.

🙂 She kept on reminding him that she OWED him big time and he could approach her for payback anytime. Give-and-take. Two-way street. Reciprocity.

That was the priceless life’s lesson she was teaching him every time she asked for a favor: he was not alone and she was there when he needed her. She could sweep the floor and he could cook. Or he could set the table for two and she could eat with him and keep him company. Or he could treat her injuries and she could make him smile with her note.

See that?

One last funny thing to observe: as soon as he confessed to needing a favor from her, he looked suddenly boyish. Rewatch the beginning of Episode 4 when the press gaggle was chasing them with questions. He was relying on JY to coach him and he looked dorky. It was as if the weight of being fiercely independent all these years was finally lifted from him because he had her at his side.