If you’ve lurked here long enough, you should know these two truths about me:

one, not having a daughter is one of the biggest regrets in my life, and
two, I watch a lot of Cdrama that I never finish reviewing.

Thanks to my old friend nonski who happened to drop by, I’m now inspired to finish reviewing these Cdramas while indulging in my fantasy of world of mother-daughter relationships. I’m going to be the imaginary (but very protective) mother of the girl who the heroes in these Cdramas are dating. I’ll give the boyfriends a passing or failing grade.

Note: I’m not grading the show’s entertainment value. Most of these shows, I’ve no problems recommending as a sort of snack. If you’re hungry for a light fare in between binge-ing on emotionally exhausting kdramas, these Cdramas are it.

However, I’m grading the male characters on their “virtues” or their suitability for my precious daughter. The Cdrama writers create these male characters with certain couple goals or relationship goals (or what they hashtag as couple goals)  in mind.

All grades are final.

1. Gu Wei Yi from “Put Your Head on My Shoulder”

Grade: C+

Here I am dodging bullets from angry PYHoMS viewers:

Gu Wei Yi is one of the sweetest boyfriends I’ve ever seen in both Cdramas and Kdramas. And if I had a daughter, he would make a very good first boyfriend for her.

I still remember when he made a snowman for her and hid it in the freezer because she said she hadn’t seen snow. (The snowman obviously melted.) I remember him getting used to the stink of the snail soup. I remember their wedding in Heidelberg.

And I remember his clumsy attempts at proposing…and lovemaking. Ha! Who could forget that bit? That was the first time I’ve seen that happened (…errr…NOT happen) in a drama.

I made this gif. I don’t usually make gifs but when I do, they’ve got to asthma-inducing funny.

See? I remember a lot about this show because it was a sweet drama that reminded me of what first love should be.

However, in the long run, he’s not really a good boyfriend material…unless you want a doormat for a boyfriend.

He’s TOO nice and he needs to grow a pair of balls. Otherwise, he’ll end up being hen-pecked for life. I can see his self-esteem and self-respect plummeting because he can’t say “Stop it!” to his girl. He’ll be dominated by a shrewish wife like Si Tu Mo, or whipped by a strong girlfriend like my imaginary daughter.

My issue with this saccharine drama is that the writer made a mistake of conflating tender love with submission. To be a caring boyfriend does NOT mean to be emasculated.

2. Han Shang Yan from “Go Go Squid”

Grade: B-

Shang Yan had a solid character arc in the Cdrama. He went from a scowling face to grinning face in JUST 41 episodes. (Sarcasm noted) Seriously, though, I like how he always put his best foot forward, and showed his best side for her. She was like that pet of his which he spent time and trouble taking care of. And to me, that’s the kind of love explored in this Cdrama: Yan doted on his girlfriend.

He was fierce with everybody else but he was putty in her hands.

hahaha. I love the way he scowled at them,

then smiled at her.

gif credit: kimp05’s tumblr

If I remember correctly, the mother of the girl didn’t like him because of his a) rudeness to the elders, b) their ten-year age difference (was it just ten?), and c) his job insecurity.

Now, there were reasons for his rudeness. He was being forced to go on a marriage-matchmaking session, and no grown-ass man of thirty SHOULD tolerate this ignominy. He was single by choice, not by design. He had too much work to do and no time to date.

I like that he wanted to be his own man, to carve out his own future without financial backing from his family. I like that he was a risk-taker, breaking through a very niche field of computers. I like that he dreamt big and he followed through with a meticulous strategy.

As for their age difference, he only appeared to be way older than the girl Tong Nian because Nian acted very innocently for her age.

This guy could have scored a higher grade had he been less cavalier about handling his finances. Especially since his field of expertise didn’t guarantee long-term job security and continued monetary rewards, I thought he should have been a better business manager.

Throughout most of the Cdrama, his lack of funds was a niggling issue. That he borrowed money from his cousin to buy Nian a birthday present was so embarrassing. He insisted on splurging on her when he knew he was using his cousin’s credit card. Grrrrr.

What irritated me the most was his money woes could have been avoided had he swallowed his PRIDE and gotten the jade necklace back from his girlfriend. He couldn’t afford to give it to her. But he gave it to her, when she was totally inebriated, because he was overwhelmed by this feeling of love for her.

Jeez louise.

Then to add insult to injury, she couldn’t even why she was given the jewelry the following morning. hahaha.

Oh come on, writer! You forgot one of the important tenets of love. “When poverty comes in at the door, love flies out of the window.” Money-related issues is the #1 thing couples argue about. This Cdrama needed to show our couple discussing their financial priorities, budgets and expenses before deciding to marry.

All I remember was the guy was supremely chauvinistic. He insisted that he paid for everything. Gee, thanks, ShangYan, for that vote of confidence in your future wife’s earning potential.

Look: my imaginary daughter would have a trust fund, and she would darn well know how to manage it. Conversely, I’d want the guy to practice fiscal responsibility with his own money too.

3. Xia Ke from “Lucky’s First Love”/“The World Owes Me a First Love”

Grade: A-

I know I panned the actor, Xing Zhao Lin, as the downgraded version of Yang Yang in the looks department. But he won me over with his lopsided smile whenever he wanted to hide how happy she made him.

I know my imaginary daughter would be sassy like me, so I don’t want her to be too spoiled by her boyfriend. I don’t want her future husband to act like a besotted fool. It’s uncool.

I like how Xia Ke comes to save the girl in a stealth way so as not to undermine her confidence. I like that he knows when to give her space to get over his anger with him. I like that he backed her up to be the lead project designer for his computer game, even risking his own personal fortune for her. But most of all, I like how they can they bicker and argue all the time, but are really attuned to each other like a married couple.

There was this scene for instance in Episode 4, where they were playing an embarrassing drinking game called “Never Have I Ever” with the coworkers. The object of the game is to get a player to admit to having done an aforementioned deed. The punishment was to take a sip of wine.

One such statement was “Never have I ever been involved in a damsel-in-distress” situation. The girl Xing Yun immediately thought of Xia Ke saving her from being run over by a car, so she took a sip. Xia Ke glanced at her suspiciously because he wasn’t sure if she was referring to him.

When she was pressed about it, she told her coworkers that a friend saved her. Upon hearing it, Xia Ke smiled and took a sip of his wine. He was, in effect, tacitly acknowledging that he was the one who saved her. But when he was asked why he drank wine, he innocently parried, “Why? Can’t I just be thirsty?”

He and Xing Yun smiled without the whole world knowing their story. It was their private moment.

There were many such small moments in this Cdrama that made wading through the maudlin side stories bearable. So….

For being a best friend and partner that my imaginary sassy daughter would need, I approve of Xia Ke.

4. Yan Mo from “Le Coup de Foudre”

Okay, I know that this is an adaptation of book, “I Don’t Like This World, I Only Like You” by Qiao Yi. The book is purportedly autobiographical. It’s based on the true story of the author and her husband. Thus grading the hero is awkward. It feels as if I’m grading the author’s husband. lol.

But hey, what works for her does not work for my imaginary daughter. So suck it up, buttercup. Here’s my grade.

Grade: D

My issue with this guy is that he loves intensely, and he holds a grudge intensely, too.

There was no half-measure with this guy, and I can see how this could become emotionally-fatiguing to be with this guy in long run, given his dour, almost humorless, personality.

I would want my imaginary daughter to marry a happy guy, somebody who has a bright outlook in life, not this Eeyore of a hero.

I recall the phone that he kept with him. He didn’t get rid of it on the off- chance that she’d call him. But why didn’t he call her up himself? He was stuck on that rejected lover mode, and didn’t want to appear weak in front of her again, so he decided to be weak secretly, to be forever alone and to pine for her from afar. Nice logic, right?

My lasting impression of this kdrama is melancholy…which is kinda SAD. We know they married because the beginning of the Cdrama showed them having lunch somewhere. She was pretending (do they call it co-splay or something??) to be on a date with her dead sister’s husband. She liked to invent these games with her husband, and he went along with them. To spice up their life (or is it to lighten up their lives), she had to resort to these silly games.

And that’s why I gave this guy a lousy grade. Misery loves company, but I’ll be darned if it ended up marrying my precious imaginary daughter.

5. Deng Lun starring his persona in the variety show, “Dad, Where are We Going?”

Grade: A-

I finished watching him on “My True Friend,” but I can’t grade him for this Cdrama. You see, I wasn’t fully convinced that the heroine loved him in the end. My take was that she was “settling” for him, her best friend, because he’d been there for her all along, and she’d seen him transformed from an irresponsible spoiled brat to an impressive young entrepreneur. He was her “best option.”

And in my books, if the hero was only seen as the “best” option, then he automatically flunked the boyfriend test. Do you see why? He was only a substitute, a filler-in.

Anyway…

That’s why I’m choosing “Dad, Where are We Going?” Although it’s variety show, there’s enough fake acting that goes along with it — not to mention, editing — to quality the show as a Cdrama. Whether Deng Lun is indeed paternal in real life, I don’t know. My focus here is on his *role* he projected in the variety show.

You have to watch it to see why I’d highly recommend him as a boyfriend, to my imaginary daughter. He’s the type to brush her hair 100 strokes without her having to ask.

He was a “tryer,” this Deng Lun. He tried his best to parent his pretend daughter on the show, and it was fun to watch him fail, only to try his best again next day.

For instance, there was this scene where he brought along books for the bedtime reading. (Gosh, I forgot the episode!) There’s nothing wrong with that, right? I loved to secretly watch my husband read bedtime books to our sons. There was something romantic about watching him and a sleepy child by the soft glow of the bedside lamp.

So I was expecting this tender scene with Deng Lun and his pretend daughter, too. But what happened was bedtime reading became an English class! Omigoodness! It was an unmitigated disaster.

He brought some English language book to read, and if I remember correctly now, he began teaching her English words.

Think about this a second. The child was probably missing her own bed, her own room, her own mother…all the familiarity of home… and then he started reading an English book to her. And she didn’t speak English! Of course, the whole alien-ness of the situation triggered the child’s homesick feelings and she started crying.

Now, you’d think that Deng Lun would be fazed by that unexpected crying jag, and run for the hills the following morning. But nope, he started all over and bonded with his child.

That’s why I’m giving him a grade of A-. For showing composure and mettle to become a parent. Nobody’s ever perfect at parenting. But you can do need to learn from your mistake and carry on.

I think Deng Lun’s persona on that variety show would make him a wonderful father to my imaginary grandchildren.

Besides, his knee seemed very comfortable to sit on.

6. Gu Ting Ye from “The Story of Ming Lan”

Grade: B+

I forgot who recommended this historical Cdrama to me here, but whoever she was, thank you.

It’s been said that “a reformed rake makes the best husband.”

On paper, there’d nothing to recommend this guy for my precious imaginary daughter. He was very open about his messy relationships: he had a mistress, a son and daughter from this mistress, a nanny, a concubine who was forced on him, and last but not the least, a big clan ruled by a gazillion bossy women.

His stepmother alone was enough to drive a normal wife insane.

So why would I recommend Gu Ting Ye? It wasn’t easy to be a mere daughter-in-law during this time period, but he had her back 100%. Every time, his relatives ganged up on MingLan, he’d come up with devious ways to get back at his relatives. They were a power couple.

I remember the scene after their wedding night. MingLan was required by tradition to serve her new (step)mother-in-law and his aunts for breakfast. But he didn’t allow anybody to disturb her sleep so she missed the breakfast ordeal. I thought that was proper of him to step in to show his relatives that they were all dependent on his and his wife’s goodwill and — this is important — financial generosity.  That was his subtle way of showing the pecking order in his household, long-dominated by his stepmother.

I’d like that for my imaginary daughter. I want a serious boyfriend/husband-in-training to show that he’d be loyal and protect my imaginary daughter.

7. Xiao Nai (Yang Yang) of Love 020

Is this really necessary? Isn’t this redundant?

This blog is officially a Xiao Nai headquarters. (Note: I didn’t say Yang Yang, okay? I said Xiao Nai, the fictional character.) Of course, his grade is the score to beat.

Grade: A+++++