When we bitches rant, we rant.
And we also bring out the laundry list. 🙂
Here’s @GrowingBeautifully’s list of charges against the adults in this kdrama. She wasn’t just looking at Cha Woo Eun’s handsome face, ya know?
@GB, I’m reposting it here in full. It was too good to be lost in the comment section. Thanks!
I’ll just add a couple of gifs. I found the epic Shoe Moment gifs from Yesdramas’ tumblr (thank you!) and post them here.
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I had a lot of thoughts on this show. The positive ones, I believe most of us watching will guess. However I’ll leave those for later. I have actually found that I made a list of ‘Lousy Adults’ whose talk and actions have made my blood boil.
My List of Lousy Adults – Unfairness and justification based on fallacies
This is long and so I’ll post it in parts. I found myself with blood boiling and gritting my teeth so many times as I watched his drama that I’ve ended up writing out my frustrations.
Big grouse of mine: adults/older person who instead of protecting and guiding their offspring/young people, are the perpetrators of violence against them and using totally faulty logic to condemn, denigrate, blame and threaten them. As if there’s not enough bullying everywhere else, kids have to face it at home from parents or adults who have power over them.
Unfortunately this is probably a sad reflection of real life where the young person’s/children’s worth is tied to their success, clean slate, grades, and most unfairly, to their ranking in a cohort, which is something beyond their control.
Lousy Father – From Episode 6 -Soo Jin’s Father
Poor Soo Jin will never be able to please her father, because he won’t accept anything except first place. His reasoning is faulty, and one wonders how he can be a doctor but not be smart enough to figure out how stupid he sounds.
Anything less than first place, to him, is ‘losing’ and he considers losing a bad habit that Soo Jin should just kick. She must go to the best medical school. Her wishes are not consulted and her hard work not acknowledged.
Fallacies:
1) He considers being not first is losing. – Far from ‘losing’, 2nd place is actually fantastically good. There is no winning or losing in studies, it’s about how one progresses.
2) He thinks being number 1 is winning – It’s not. It is just a position that can be overtaken at any time, and there’s no way one can guarantee getting or keeping the position.
3) Losing is not a habit – it’s the results of a competition.
4) No matter what a child does or fails to do, slapping the child is abuse and wrong, and it does not enable the child to get a better grade. In fact the stress caused by her father’s abuse is the likely cause for Soo Jin’s drop in the ranking.
The frustration is that no one stands up to the abusive father for Soo Jin. I’m touched that Suho offers to help.
But the greater parenting fallacies held by Soo Jin’s father from his own words:
Father throws the results at her face: “Do you think I invested in you to see grades like these?”
a) Fallacy of believing that he has a right to treat his offspring like chattel or an investment. That he does not need to respect her.
b) Fallacy that offspring owe him a specific or any return on investment.
Toxic attitude based on fallacious assumptions and a degree of stupidity:
“You can’t beat the son of a lowly family like that?”
a) It’s more likely that Suho’s family has the same status as Soo Jin’s and it would be a mistake to look down on him.
b) He belittles Suho when he is actually smart and well to do. His father has set him up in a very expensive apartment and has a successful career.
c) Even if there had been a difference in status, status is not a determinant of being smarter or of being consistently successful.
Lousy Mother – From Episode 6 and 7 – Ju Kyung’s mother
JK’s mother illogically links bad grades with her spending time on makeup, without ever finding out the root cause for her bad grades or why she needed makeup in the first place.
She punishes her unfairly for not rising in the ranking by 30, which is ridiculous because there is no way that JK can ensure the rest of her class will do worse than her so that she can be ranked higher.
As a wife, she is totally not life giving at all. Instead of acknowledging that her husband is trying to earn money and be useful, she denigrates him for making a loss.
I’m glad that JK blew up at her mother for once and told her off for not knowing why makeup was important to her. The irony is that it is not her parent but Suho who says the words she needs to hear :
He puts a hand on her head and says “You did well. You really did. I know you studied hard. Your class rank went up by 20. I’m proud of you.”
Lousy Adult – Episodes 1-6 – Suho’s Father
Suho’s father did not care for him when he was younger and does not care much for the young charges belonging to his entertainment agency. I wonder what makes him suddenly want to befriend his son after ignoring him for maybe around a decade.
Se Yeon’s suicide seems largely to have been because Move Agency did not support or defend him, but instead kicked him out. This would have made him look guilty, even though he wasn’t. Seo Jun had been training as an idol as well, but had left the Agency, possibly in protest and possibly because his mother had been sick.
Lousy Adults – Episode 7 – The Discipline Master and the Vice Principal
I shake my head at the implicit and explicit bias the Discipline Master has – he hears that there was a fight involving students from the school at the Karaoke place and he rounds up the usual suspects but they are actually innocent. However they are unfairly punished and not believed when they protest their innocence.
Then I laughed at how the guilty ones stepped forward to take the blame (very nice of them) from the most obvious and likely culprits like Seo Jun to the least likely, like Soo Jin and Suho. I liked how shocked Teacher Han looks each time it’s kids from his class who come in to be punished. In all fairness to the Discipline Master, he’d probably have punished Soo Jin and Suho as well, and they did have to write the long apology, but the Vice Principal came around.
I shake my fist at the hypocritical, two-faced Vice Principal who just gives Soo Jin and Suho a pass because they are the top students and Suho’s dad is a celebrity. His blatant favourtism and brownnosing is annoying.
And all this time, the adults never once asked why there was a fist fight, which would have explained, and to an extent, justified the kids’ actions in the first place. It’s annoying that they generally believe the worst of the kids, punish immediately, and never ask the reasons why.
Lousy adult/older person – Episode 7 – Pitcher Ryu and his Targeting JK for a girlfriend
Ryu seems to still have belonged to a school but he looks like an adult and he is definitely older than JK. I dislike how it’s accepted that just because he likes someone, he has the right to pressurise them into accepting his attentions. I blame also the rest of the on-lookers like Soo Ah and the Baseball Team for putting JK in a difficult position, when it was none of their business.
Because of them, JK could not reject Ryu’s attentions outright, and immediately. No one asked JK for her opinion and whether she wanted the attention or not. In the way that she protested her mother’s treatment of her, she needs to slowly become more assertive and stand firm against the tide. However I still don’t like all this kind of unwanted pressure placed on her.
Ryu’s turning up at JK’s school was also out of bounds behaviour. He wanted to force her to go to the his Final Game by insisting that she hold on to his lucky baseball. I really hate coercion of this sort. It is not romantic.
And by giving her the baseball, she had to spend money to send it back to him by parcel post. He did nothing for her except embarrass and inconvenience her. Not romantic at all.
To balance out my grumbling about lousy adults, here are the nice moments, mostly in Ep 7.
Teacher Han’s words:
“Some of you don’t know what it is that you really want. And some of you do know, but you’re hesitant. (We see both SJ and SH watching JK who is not aware of this.) But opportunities come without warning and you must be prepared to take advantage of it.”
These words about seizing the opportunity is the running theme for episode 7, and to an extent episode 8, as we see Seo Jun and Suho seizing or not taking the opportunities to draw near to JK.
In this area, I’d say Hee Kyung and Ju Young (JK’s sister and brother) are really pros. They grab every opportunity presented to them. And of the 2 guys, Seo Jun is better than Suho in seizing his opportunities, especially when there’s a competition, and the rival is Suho. Of course, Seo Jun has also broken the ‘bromance rule’ ie, guys shouldn’t steal the girl that they know their friend likes.
The Sweet/Thoughtful Moments
Suho not only rescuing JK from the Karaoke place but bringing her home in a taxi and comforting her with a hand on her clenched fist. It was nice of him not to take advantage of her when she was feeling weak, so not exactly a missed opportunity.
Suho successfully pressuring the culprit, Lee Sung Yong into apologising, so that JK could rest easy and have a good night’s rest every night.
Suho wanting to study with JK to help her and to spend time with her. He messes this up, though, by scolding her for sleeping ie over-compensating for staring at her, when the rest of the kids come in. This is the pot calling the kettle black since it had been he who was sleeping. Missed opportunity
Bonding between JK and Soo Jin was nice to see.
Tae Hoon putting 2-and-2 together first with SH and then with JK and figuring out that they liked each other, he helps out. So many drama couples need a friend like him.
Suho bringing Tae Hoon to the game to meet the girls. Almost could have seized the opportunity except that Soo Ah and the Ryu guy were in the way.
Tae Hoon giving Suho good dating advice to be clear and a straight shooter like Ryu. He noted that SH was jealous over Ryu and gave JK all the drumsticks (“That’s true love, you see.” LOL). “Why haven’t you told her how you feel?. If you take too long, someone like Ryu Hyung Jin will snatch her up.” The rest of Tae Hoon’s advice was rather over the top, though, especially the pushing the girl up against the wall part.
Suho being the warmest we’ve ever seen … comforting JK in Prince Comics and giving her more ramyeon from his bowl. And acknowledging that she had worked hard, and done well and he was proud of her. He even asked her if he should buy her cosmetics. She notes that he’s warm this time, when he’s always so cool in tone. And he looks her in the eye to ask: “Do you not like guys who are cool? What do you like?” Great job of seizing opportunity
Mother finally showing some concern for JK.
SH cleaning her shoe for JK and not minding that she sat on his shoulder. Then placing a hair clip in her hair. Another great job of seizing opportunity
Gifs from yesdramas’ tumblr:
Suho reserving a seat for JK, although she refused to sit near him and Soo Jin. Can’t blame him for losing the opportunity this time, because had tried his best but JK acted on a misunderstanding.
The Jacket Motif Again
Once again, this time in Ep 8, the trusty jacket (our side character) makes its appearance. Tae Hoon hands Suho’s jacket to JK, to give her the opportunity to return it and thus meet Suho. It’s also the means by which JK showed her generosity, when she decided, painfully, to let Soo Jin have it.
And it was a great metaphor when Suho rejected it when Soo Jin tried to return it to him, because it was just the outer covering, whereas the person behind it was what mattered.
In Ep 8 the Sageuk JK hid her face under her outer coat and modern day JK hides her face under the bedsheet. Of course she’s chased by the boys who call out “Catch the ugly spirit!” so that we know that the parallel with the ghost story, is being played out.
However all jackets are off and SH kisses the un-made up JK, cos he knows “what’s inside the pot is more important than the pot itself.”
LOL Thanks @pkml3. When I rant, I rant. I’m a real Bitch that way. Can’t bear those who have less power or who are marginalised being consistently ill-treated. There’s never a good reason for it … I guess it’s just sadism in action. Trouble is that we see it so much in shows (and life) that we get inured to it.
So far only the good kids have stood up to bullies on behalf of others. Of the adults, no one does anything except try to placate JK’s mother when she’s being unreasonable, and Soo Jin’s mother probably enables the dad’s bullying by making it sound like Soo Jin should have known better. A commenter said that she noted he shouldn’t have hit her in the face … which implicitly means it was ok to hit her elsewhere?
So, unless the adults do better in the 2nd half of this series, they’ll remain lousy in my opinion.
But like I said, there are nice parts to counterbalance all these ‘rant inducing’ moments, and great funny scenes as well. I’m glad it’s an easy and fun watch, and I hope the upcoming angst does not erode those aspects of the show!
Such great and comprehensive lists, @GB!
There are a few adults I welcome here:
Mr Han for encouraging and applauding ALL of his students;
Mr Prince for having a shop/cafe/sort of library that is a haven for children. He seems non-judgmental and involves himself only if he scents a possible problem.
Ju Kyung’s dad for his positive outlook, although it has led him into bad investments.
Seo Jun’s widowed mother. Don’t know much about her, but she must be a good person based on his, Suho’s and JK’s mother’s reaction to her.
Ju Kyung’s sister is being increasingly supportive of her, although I don’t think anyone in the family except for her brother understood the extent of her distress at her last school.
On another tangent, I could see that JK’s playlist on her phone was entirely rock, metal and perhaps goth rock. I couldn’t read Suho’s list except for So Yeon’s song. Was any music similar to JK’s found on Suho’s phone, or is his taste more eclectic? Remembering her gratitude that the lunchroom monitor liked her music, I wonder if this will come up again.
Awesome list, @GB!🎉
I am so upset with Jukyung’s mother since episode 1, and I can’t believe JK’s voice message to her hasn’t been brought up yet. If it’ll be used as a tool for her to realize her lapses in the latter eps or so, I feel like it’ll be too late? We’re already halfway through the show and she still hasn’t redeemed herself. Though I find it realistic that she didn’t know what JK went through in her old school, because this happens a lot in real life. But she was witness to how adults treat her child so she should have an idea at least. Sigh.
I hate how her attitude toward JK is being played off as a comic relief when it’s everything but. The verbal and emotional abuse JK receives from her is way too much to be brushed off or taken lightly.
The way she treats her husband is also disappointing. I understand her frustration, but she keeps discouraging and belittling him every chance she gets.
I may be looking at it a little too much from a personal perspective, as I see the men in my family in JK’s dad (sweet, kind, loving, family-oriented, just really not good with money) so I feel bad when the mom treats the dad so badly. His heart is in the right place, and he is trying as we can see. So many fathers don’t even try.
The Vice Principal seems to be a staple character in high school kdramas but still irritating nonetheless!
Soojin’s mother is just as bad as the father. Putting the blame on your own daughter? Really??
I also really, really like the Homeroom teacher and JK’s older sister! Together and as individual characters. At least not all adults are awful in this drama, I guess.
I agree with you though that the “good” adults in the drama seem to turn a blind eye when they see abuse or even condone it.
P.S. Suho has been incredibly thoughtful in the past 2 eps, and out of all he nice things he did to JK, him comforting JK and telling her she did well is my favorite. Ok, and JK sitting on Suho too and him just calmly accepting the situation as is hahaahaha
@Fern
Yes, to those nice adults. It’s relief that show has populated itself with them as well. It would have been too unrealistic and suffocating to have had only toxic adults about.
I also like this school environment more than some others that have been depicted. Aside from the infuriating Vice Principal, this school is not shown to lay undue stress on only being rich and influential before getting attention. It does not push kids to pursue only the top awards to boost the school’s name. There’s still bullying, but the emphasis of this drama is on looks, and therefore the bullying or the concerns of those less well-endowed (or so they think) in the looks department are the kinds of bullying being highlighted.
Hence we have Go Woon who has to stand up to the school choral bullies and Mr Han hiding his pale brows under a long fringe. I’m glad though, that show has more or less wrapped up these two characters’ issues over their looks. I really like Go Woon’s attitude… even more courageous than Mr Han’s!
She knows that the mean girls talk about her behind her back.
Go Woon: “They say I’ve got the nerve showing up without makeup.”
JK: “Are you okay hearing that?”
GW: “If I hate my face just because they say that, I’d be agreeing that I’m a loser. So I’m going to ignore them and live with the face I’m given.”
I like this show for showing that whether one chooses to go with makeup or not, it’s fine. It’s not wrong to want to cover some flaws and it’s fine to show them. Ultimately the true beauty is inside.
About the music: I was a little sad that JK didn’t feel she could play songs on her playlist. She knows SH accepts her regardless of her looks, but she seems to be afraid of shocking him over her choice of music. She is however able to appreciate a good singing voice when she hears it, therefore she and SH will have that in common.
@jinyangie Same with me. I get upset when people are being ill-treated, especially by people who because they are older or have power over them, should actually be guiding them, modelling good behaviour, protecting them, etc.
What is JK’s mother teaching her except that she’s not acceptable without the specific level of grades mother wants. To be fair, the mother may be also transferring her own fears that JK will not be able to get on with poor grades, and that her looks will pull her back as well. It’s a foolishly narrow and superficial way of judging how one gets on in life, but it seems common in S. Korea ie one gets on by how one’s looks or by how well one does, and preferably by both together.
I deplore that mother never actually asked first what the reason was for the makeup, that she never noticed the state her daughter must have been in when she was in the old school and being bullied. At least, she should have noticed and asked, even if JK might not have wanted to admit the whole ugly experience.
As a parent, I know my kids don’t choose to tell me stuff that happens outside the home, but at least I hope they know that they can tell me, and that I’ll listen. In JK’s mother’s case, I feel that if I was her kid, I’d really hate to be blamed by her for the bullying because of my face, on top of not doing well in studies. Yes, I think I’d risk victim blaming, with a mother like that, and I’d avoid telling her, unless she asked me.
What I had to say about JK Mum sigh:
JuKyung’s mum is a very frustrating character, and like all the adults in the show, she’s lacking and also a negative person. She is callous and mean to people, especially her daughter, who she refuses to open her mind to listen to. She’s not a monster, and she does love her daughter as shown when she is talking to her husband about wanting what’s best for her and not seeing her as ugly, but her surface interactions with Kyung is a different story. It’s ironic because her mum should be her most significant support and person to make her feel worthy since she went through the same thing her daughter went through. She’s seen like Kyung as ugly, and people tell her this all the time. She managed to get a handsome husband which is something she holds on to but is insecure about. She keeps trying to control her husband by belittling all he does so that he doesn’t feel above her or get distracted by other women.
It’s why she’s so adamant about kicking him out of her shop when he’s selling candles because she noticed how women interact with him. I think the thing with her is that she used her grades to enter university, and that’s where she met her husband and found her job, which she is known as the best. She wants Kyung to focus on her studies, not on how people perceive her because she thinks it’s the way to secure a better life and way to be seen as worthy by others. Because she also struggled and didn’t have belief in her self either. This is why she probably has built up this anger and need to criticise and put people down because they did that to her as they do to Kyung. It’s her own mask and her own cover of trying to seem strong and worthy. Why I’m seeing mirroring with them, and Kyung and Suho are because her husband dotes on her as shown in episode 8, he’s just as protective and loving to her, but also he was a singer (we all know Suho is Leo). The same unconditional, supportive and caring love that her dad shows her mum is the same Suho shows Kyung. I think that’s why we saw their interaction in episode 8.
@GB, What a great list! There are so many lousy adults in K Dramas in general, that it’s a wonder how kids grow up well. And so many K Drama teachers and school administrators seem to bow down to the monied parents to the detriment of all the kids. In this drama I am not pleased with her mom because Mom is in the beauty business, so you’d think think that she’d help her daughter to look good. And then she threw out the kid’s make up.
@Old American Lady, thanks. I needed an outlet for the pent up frustrations and making this list was cathartic. Yes, kdramas are rife with really badly flawed adults and sadly mistreated youngsters.
I really hated those kdrama schools which are shown to be full of corruption, where once again the young people are pawns and chattel to be abused and used for the good name of the school, or the parents, etc. Where other young people are taught to marginalise those who are less fortunate and where one gets on by sabotaging others.
I’ve been wondering if it made sense that the mother in the beauty business does not immediately consider how to help her daughter with the acne and be the one to introduce the right kind of make up to her. But as I said elsewhere, maybe the source of this show, being a manhwa, would have these kinds of big logic holes which in time will get filled up.
@BeingWritten That’s a thought … I just put down JK’s mum’s bad treatment of her husband to despising him for only looking pretty and losing money, and not because other women liked him for his looks. When she and her friend were observing/admiring her husband before, she offered to let her friend have her husband. It was a joke, deprecating him and said in a tone that showed she did not fear that it would ever happen. So I didn’t see her as being insecure about other women flocking around him.
That’s cute that you see the mirroring of couples. Earlier on we were discussing the mirroring of Hee Kyung and Teacher Han also as being similar to how JK’s parents are with the dominant female and the submissive male. There could be a 3-way parallel between 3 sets of couples. 🙂
You’re right about the same kind of support and attitude that the guys have for their ladies