Another old post uploaded.

It’s unfortunate that because of the WG lurking in our blog and harassing our members on Twitter, Instagram and FB, I couldn’t post some of the commentaries made in the original thread. But oh well. Protecting our original members is our first priority.

Remember now: our first rewatch is on Saturday, May 8th. Tentative time is 13:00pm UTC.

13:00pm UTC

09:00am EST
06:00am PST
09:00pm Singapore, Philippines
08:00pm Indonesia
03:00pm Greece
12:00am Sydney (Sunday)
08:30pm India

It’ll be password-protected. If you want to join our rewatch, please do comment in any of the Throwback Thursday posts. Just be mindful that Bitchesoverdramas is a safe space for Flower Gardeners (FGers). The FGers are a minority in the kdramaland, like the viewers who rooted for Taec and Deoksun in “Reply 1988” or Dosan and Dalmi in “Start Up.”

This blog is protective of the FGers’ little ship because they are battling strong headwinds from the bigger and more vociferous fanclubs.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

The Characters: 

Ahn JeonWon: JW
Yang SeokHyeong: SH
Lee IkJung: IJ
Kim Junwan: Jwan
Chae Songhwa: Songhwa

The Context:

Anybody who’s watched a Reply kdrama would be familiar with the importance this Writer and Director duo (W&D) place on the interaction during mealtimes. Mealtimes are when the nature of the relationship — the hidden tensions and the secret favoritism — are unknowingly exposed.

For instance, in the first of the series, Reply 1997, the setting of the kdrama was a high school reunion. The main characters met for dinner to reminisce about their school days. Throughout the dinner, flashbacks were interjected to reveal the different connections. Then. slowly, as the episodes progressed, the identity of the husband was revealed.

In the last of the trilogy, Reply 1988, the mealtimes exposed the dynamics between different characters. The second male lead, for example, always criticized Deoksun for  her big appetite or messy eating habit while Taec was infamous for his unadventurous palate.

One memorable scene for me was the dinner of the two sets of parents. It was cringe-worthy to watch the difference in attention the husbands showed their wives. One husband slavishly put food on his wife’s rice bowl before he put some on his own bowl. Too bad that his wife was unappreciative of his attention. On the other hand, the other husband couldn’t wait to dig in the tasty fish. He gobbled it down while non-stop praising its flavor and freshness. He didn’t notice that his wife was waiting for him to share some of it with her.

I thought she was right to put him in the doghouse after that.

The other memorable scene from Reply 1988 was Taec and Deoksun’s day at the beach. Shamelessly, Deoksun borrowed money from Taec to buy them both an expensive grilled sirloin for lunch. Like father, like daughter, she too gobbled everything up. She was hungrily stuffing her mouth with meat until she noticed that Taec was just sitting there and smiling at her eating with such gusto.

So she stopped and gave him a piece.

Years later, when they met again in China, they dined out with friends at an expensive restaurant. Knowing of his picky eating habits, she chose something from the menu which she knew he would like: crab soup. Taec’s manager treated them all to the delicious food (paying with Taec’s money of course) but Taec himself only ate the porridge that Deoksun had ordered for him.

He began with the soup bowl and he ended with the soup bowl. lol. Go ahead and check if you don’t believe me. (Ep 19 at 43:00.)

For me, the lesson from the mealtimes in Reply 1988 is very simple. But, in case people missed it, I’ll say it here —

When you love somebody, you take care of their needs before yours.

Now, it’s unlikely that the Writer of this show would change her perspective towards mealtime. And that’s why I’m focusing on the dinner in this episode.

The Dinner (at 39:14):

JW noticed that Songhwa was massaging her neck.

JW: Want a pain relief patch?

Without waiting for her reply, he took out a pack from his bag and gave it to her. What does this moment tell me? Two things: a) he’s observant, and b) he’s proactive.

Jwan: You carry all sorts of stuff there. (Calling the waitress, he raised his hand for 5…I guess…servings of food)

What does this comment tell me? Passive-aggressiveness. 🙂  He unconsciously wished he had a heat patch to give Songhwa. But since he had none, he gave JW a backhanded compliment.

Seriously. His comment was 40% praising and 60% insulting.

JW ignored him and continued to set the table. SH read the menu and wondered aloud whether his mom would also like kalguksu. He said, “Should I take some home?” This guy liked to do his thinking aloud. Beside SH, IJ started to prepare water for everybody.

IJ: JW, give me your cup.
JW: Okay.
IJ: Do you know what your nickname is?
JW: What is it? Is it “Angel”?
IJ: It’s Buddha.
JW: I see.
IJ: That makes no sense, right? His family has two priests and two nuns.
JW: I love Buddha, too.

I’m not Buddhist. But I think, in this particular moment, IJ was referring to JW’s being “awake.” Nobody had to tell him to start getting the table ready. But like in other things in life, he just went ahead and did things. JW was AWARE. He had situational awareness. That’s why IJ brought up his nickname “Buddha” out of the blue.

IJ: My goodness! Jeongwon is my ideal friend. Gosh! If I had a younger sister, I would set you up with her.
Jwan: You do have a sister.
IJ: Oh right…I do.

Now, I said in my other blog post that I don’t know why he didn’t introduce JW to his sister.  I’m SPECULATING* here (*this means feel free to ignore me because there’s no evidence to support this) that he didn’t do so because he knew a back story. He either knew a girl who liked JW or knew a girl whom JW really liked.

SH phoned his mom to ask if she wanted him to bring home kalguksu. IJ scolded him, saying “Why are you asking her that? Just buy some for her.” SH informed his mom that he’d be home right after their dinner.

Meanwhile, Songhwa quietly rest her elbows on the table. JW immediately noticed her subdued manner and leaned over to talk to her.

JW: Is something bothering you?
Songhwa: What? Nothing.
Jwan: I bet it’s because of Gong Hyeongu.

Good job, Jwan! He knew what was bothering her.

Earlier, when Songhwa was sitting at the surgical consultation for the Good Samaritan, she received a phone call. She excused herself and hurried out the room.  That was a FAKE phone call.

She had prearranged with Jwan that he would rescue her from the meeting. (lol. I do this, too, to get out a long meeting.)

She was celebrating her escape with JW in her office when her resident chief knocked on the door and begged her to take over the surgery from Prof Min. That’s how JWan knew why she looked pensive.

Note for the Husband Hunters: Don’t count Jwan out just yet. He was her “partner in crime” here. Or to be precise, her partner in playing hooky. Also, do you remember him dropping by at her office before his conference in Episode 1? He had the habit of stopping by, unlike the other guys (at least, we haven’t seen them pass by).

To continue with the dinner…

JW: The good Samaritan from the subway? What about him? I heard the new chief will be performing the surgery. (asking JWan) What does she have to do with it?
Songhwa: I heard Professor Min doesn’t have much experience with TSA. And given the location of the tumor and sequelae, going with TSA is a much better choice than a craniotomy. Since he was originally my patient, I’m thinking of telling him that I’ll take the patient.
JW: But that might be a bit awkward. He’s Professor Min’s patient now after all.

SH wasn’t paying attention to the conversation here because he was still on the phone with his mom. He handed his phone to IJ because his mom wanted to talk to him.

IJ: Hello, Mother. It’s Ikjun, your stepson, who’s cheerful and bubbly unlike your biological son.

Songhwa laughed at his bragging.

Note for the Husband Hunters: Songhwa finds this guy the funniest of all four. Because of him, she wasn’t inhibited to do her “burp joke” in Episode 1.

Songhwa: Right? My gosh. How am I going to take the surgery from him?

She was glad that her uneasiness and hesitation were validated by JW. She was correct to feel ambiguous about the situation.

Jwan: I would just tell him.
JW: Of course, you would.

Meaning, yes, given JW’s abrasive personality, he wouldn’t think twice about confronting the head of the department. He wouldn’t appreciate the delicacy of the situation.

Note for the Husband Hunters:  JWan was insensitive in many things. But when it came to telling Songhwa about her cheating ex, he was particularly sensitive to the ensuing fall-out of breaking the news to her. He didn’t want to be personally involved and personally responsible for their break-up.

Jwan: Yes. If that’s a better option for the patient, I ought to. “I can perform that surgery better than you. And it’s better for the patient.” I’d tell him exactly that.
JW: Tsk. I couldn’t do it. Every doctor has their methods and stories. It’s crossing the line.
Jwan: No, it’s not. We must stick to the facts.
Songhwa: If you’re so inclined to stick to the facts, why didn’t you tell me the fact that my ex was cheating on me?

The waitress came with the food and plopped it in the middle. JW turned on the stove. IJ finally got off the phone with SH’s mother after promising her, “I’ll get it checked out. I know a few clinics. Okay, thank you. Take care.” lol. The reason that SH’s mom wanted to talk to IJ on the phone was to nag him about seeing a doctor for his prostrate!!!

IJ: Seok-Hyeong.
SH: Yes??
IJ: I don’t want your mom to know about my prostrate problems.
SH: I told my mom that you’re going to the bathroom too often these days, due to frequent urination and urinary retention.

lol. SH broke the “Guy Code” here, too. What was confidential among grown-up men shouldn’t be shared with their girlfriends, wives and above all, mothers, without permission.

But before IJ could scold him, Jwan was heard raising his voice at Songhwa.

Jwan: Professor Min’s case is different from your ex’s. He has nothing to do with me. It’s strictly work whereas you’re a couple. I can’t tell you what to do.
Songhwa: I never told you to. I’m saying you should’ve told me what you saw.
Jwan: Could you have done it?
Songhwa: Yes, totally.

Quietly, JW handed her a soup bowl before everybody else.

Jwan: Liar.
JW: Yah!

He shouted at JWan and gave him a fierce look.

But he then turned and used a different tone of voice with Songhwa.

JW: The kalguksu is ready. Fight later. Let’s eat first.

To me, his firm voice when he addressed her indicated that he was unhappy with her and JWan’s continued argument. He sounded like a dad reminding his daughter to behave. But Songhwa didn’t heed him and continued arguing with JWan.

Songhwa: If I saw your girlfriend with another guy, I’d call you right away.
Jwan: Goodness, it’s easier said than done.

Songhwa sniffed softly, and JW immediately handed her a tissue.

Jwan: (churlish) I never liked Professor Jang to begin with. Pass me the chili powder.
Songhwa: Okay.

She dropped a spoon and again, JW took care of the situation for her. He asked for another spoon.

JWan and Songhwa had a food race. Then IJ’s phone rang. It was his son. IJ assured him that he’d be home soon and asked him why he was still awake.

JW: (asking IJ) U-Ju is still awake?

While Jwan and Songhwa were nearly done with the food, JW was still busy ladling the soup for IJ and SH. At the same time, he was making small talk at the dinner table…like a normal person.

JW: (asking SH) Hey, I heard you bought a big-ass TV.
IJ: (to his son) I’ll see you in your dreams. Bye. (to SH and JW) Seokhyeong’s TV is like his girlfriend.
SH: (admitting it) It was pretty expensive.

Finally, JW served himself. He made the sign of cross before the meal to ask God to bless the meal and to thank God for the food (Ha. I hope that’s why he made the sign of the cross.)

JW: I want to see it when we meet up for our next band practice session.
SH: Ah, right. When should we meet up for that? How about this weekend?
Songhwa: (finishing her food) I have surgery booked this weekend.

Waitress: How many bowls of rice would you like?

Songhwa: (eagerly asking JWan) Two?
JWan: Just one.

Songhwa didn’t notice that JW had raised his hand for 5 bowls. Then, he turned to observe her while she continued to consult JWan. He looked down at his bowl.

Songhwa: (continuing to consult JWan) Two will be too many, right?
JWan: Yes. I’m getting full.
Songhwa: (giving their order to the waitress) Just one, please!

JW slammed the table with his palm.

JWan: Gosh.
JW: (over-riding Songhwa’s order) We want five. Please stir-fry five bowls of rice.
IJ: I knew Jeongwon would get this angry.
Songhwa: (asking JW this time) Hey, aren’t you full?
JW: (upset with Songhwa) Ya!

He was about to protest, “Hey, what the…” but IJ cut in and explained the situation for him. JW just shook his head in exasperation and continued eating.

IJ: (telling the oblivious Songhwa) He didn’t eat much. And us, too (point to him and SH). We just started eating. Guys, no one would eat that fast even during a war. Why eat so quickly?
JWan: Okay. Why are you getting so worked up? Order five servings.
JW: You are so self-centered.

JWan: What a weird thing to hear in the middle of eating kalguksu. Why don’t you try to eat faster?

This is the part that I would have dumped the whole noodle dish on this guy’s head if I had been JW. As I commented to @agdr03 earlier, I pay attention to table manners, and JW (and Songhwa) were rude. If he were a guest at our dinner, he wouldn’t be invited again. To a barbecue or a Superbowl party, perhaps yes, he’d get an invite. But to a sit-down, en famille dinner? He’s off my list.

 

He left JW and IJ set the table. At the very least, he should have OFFERED to help or pretended to be useful.
He started arguing at the dinner. Thank you very much for causing heartburn.
He began eating before the others had been served. Oh dear! Even a second grader should know this. If you’re served first, wait for the rest of the people to start eating.
He slurped through the noodle soup like a savage. Shaking my head here: It’s good manners to eat at a similar speed as the others.
He didn’t pay attention to the needs of others. And this doesn’t apply to just mealtimes but also in life.

There’s no downplaying this. He (and Songhwa) were lacking in manners and appallingly selfish. The major difference between him and SH was after IJ pointed out their bad form at the table, Songhwa had the good sense to keep silent and not talk back. She was properly shamed. JWan, on the other hand, kept digging his hole.

JW: Why don’t you try to slow down a little?
Jwan: Why must I control my pace when I’m paying for my own food?

Facepalm. To me, this answer made him look dumber. He missed the damn point. It wasn’t about who was paying for the meal. It was about being mindful of your friends. He needed to think of others.

JW: Yah! You’re not. The hospital’s paying for this. And it’s my dad’s hospital. So strictly speaking, it’s my money.
JWan: Fine. I’ll pay for what I ate. How much do I owe you?
JW: Pay me.
Jwan: Okay, so how much?
IJ: Guys, stop! Enough! Gosh, seriously. You guys are acting like you’re around U-Ju’s age. You’re 40. Must you fight over fried rice?
JW: Hey, you have no idea what they did to me. When we had cheonggukjang last time, I only ate tofu. These two ate all the beef.
Jwan: Jeez.
IJ: Okay, I head you. Jeez, the things this prick remembers.

Waitress: So how many bowls of rice?

JW: Five, please.
JWan: Just two!
SH: Give us 3.5 bowls, please.

My Takeaway:

1. The two guys like her.
2. JWan likes her romantically.
3. JW? I’m not sure if he likes her as a girlfriend or as a friend. Remember, love takes on many forms.
4. Songhwa treats JWan like an equal. She spars with him and they bicker.
5. Songhwa is more deferential with JW. She doesn’t bicker.

Moreover, remember when they found out about JW being the Chairman’s son?

JW: Thanks for coming.
Songhwa: (coldly) No need to thank us. We ought to come to our friend’s father’s funeral.

JWan: Is the chairman your father? Why didn’t you tell us? You thought we’d ask for money?
JW: (sighing) I just couldn’t find the right time to tell you guys. I’m sorry. I didn’t try to hide it from you. I mean, there’s nothing to tell you. I don’t have any money. I swear.
Songhwa: (she was smiling but her sarcasm was evident) That’s even more annoying.

There are a few ways to interpret her comment. To me, she meant that she was insulted that JW assumed she was only a fair weather friend and that she would be interested in him only because he had money.

See that? When Songhwa got mad at JW, she didn’t squawk and nag like she did with Jwan. Her comment was cutting and said coldly.

6. Songhwa doesn’t argue when JW gets mad.

When JW slammed the table in anger, she was startled but she didn’t sass him for startling her. With the other guys, she would have told them off for their behavior.

Remember: When IJ surprised her in the garage, she said, “You startled me. Are you trying to look funny?” To me, if IJ had slammed the table, she would have quipped something like, “You startle me. Are you begging for attention?”

And if Jwan had been the one to bang the table, she would have shouted at him, “Why the heck did you do that? What’s wrong with you?”

But with JW, after she was told why he was upset, she kept quiet. For me, that’s a sign that she recognized her error. She knew that JW’s disappointment and anger was justified. That’s why, unlike JWan, she didn’t protest.

7. One last thing.

I think Songhwa knows that JW treats his friends well.

Remember in Episode 1 when she asked SH whether he bought her girlfriend things that she like? SH said that he “bought her food, and gave her a Bluetooth speaker so that she could listen to music.”

Songhwa replied, “If only you were half as nice as that to your friends.”

Well, I think she knows that she can’t say the same thing about JW. He really is a nice guy. So when he complained of being abused or being ignored, he was right.

I’ll write about the another meal, the one at the funeral, when I’ve time. Or after I receive 5 virtual cookies…whichever comes first. lol.